Please don't judge me and my daughter - page 3

The night my daughter told me she wanted to kill herself was not an easy night. I drove her to the Emergency room that I used to work in, thinking they would care for her best. What I found was not... Read More

  1. by   Cara-rn-29
    I'm so sorry you feel this way. EDs unfortunately tend to be understaffed. The nurses are rushed and may come off as cold or indifferent. They are NOT psych nurses. But one would hope they would make your daughter feel safer. As a reminder, you were not the patient so although you were her support, you weren't the nurses concern.

    The paper scrubs are probably policy and for her safety and everyone else's. I'm surprised you were allowed food, too. That's again a safety issue with utensils, etc...

    Psych is a specific kind of nurse that most of us can't do. I know I can't. So sorry you felt judged, but I'm thinking that might not have been the case.
  2. by   Triage24
    Glad she reached out for help as depression and suicide sadly are all to real.I worked ER for many many years. Something is not right here. Every Nurse without exception was cold, heartless and rude. To say every nurse chose this very shift and patient and patient's mother to collectively be rude to. Really? Sorry not buying that for even a moment.
    Perhaps there is just a little bit more to this. Would be interested in hearing the Nurses side. Sadly due to Hippa they can not tell their side of what happened.
    Last edit by Triage24 on Sep 23
  3. by   Sigrimis
    Cat and daughter,

    Remember that our profession shows everyone who we are, feel sorry for this nurses' patients. Every time we take care of a patient, we are showing our team, manager and most importantly God above what kind of person we are on the inside. Let this nurse be, let her treat others the way she wants to be treated;she will see the results of her actions. I challenge you to leave this alone; I challenge you to learn from this and be the best APRN you can be--show fellow feeling, show empathetic care, and show love. We all took psychology, this nurse has had a hard life, and somewhere along the way, someone was not kind to her. Cat, continue to empathize with our patients.
    Much love from your thousands peers to you and your daughter.
  4. by   wondern
    Sounds like they were short staffed and only had half a nurse really...maybe on autopilot.

    The rise in suicide among children is very alarming!

    Wonder if it has something to do with all the opioids and heroin out there. Just read the saddest thing about what has been coined opiate orphans, thousands and thousands of babies losing their parents to this and other chemicals. So sad. I bet there's a big thread on here about it.

    I've heard about this '13' show or movie but don't know what it is. Just watching the news is depressing enough these days. Everything is so fired up especially this health care business! I so thought a woman named Hillary who'd already invested her time in health care for our children years ago as First Lady could've worked to fix things better than anyone. Oh well that's another long thread too I bet :-)
  5. by   smartnurse1982
    Quote from wondern
    Sometimes a fake smile turns into a real smile, and sometimes it even spreads into laughter, the best medicine of all! There are many times a smile is in order in life in general and especially so in nursing! Smiles heal. Try it sometime when you're feeling down.

    I think there's actually a physiological link between our brains and our facial muscles contracting in to an upward position!

    I know I am not the only one who has ever forced a smile especially when you've been dealing with lots of sad stuff like in nursing. It doesn't make it fake. It's created by me and my will, or actually, by God's will and blessing, so it is as real as any other smile. Can I get a second on that emotion???


    What does a smile have to do with excellent nursing care?

    I am not following.

    I think some people do need to realize that a neutral face is not a sad or angry face.
  6. by   NLLL16
    I can see both sides of this. I recently transferred out of the ER but during my time there I had several suicidal patients. Some times it was just a matter of time and having other patients and their pressing needs that was a distraction but checking in a suicidal patient takes quite a long time. I felt so torn at times and doing the best I could, sitting down with my patients, explaining the process they would experience in the ER, etc. I feel like I have made a difference in many patients' lives and they often tell me so...but I can't say that many psych patients have told me so. I feel like I extend the same compassion to them but I don't know that they or their families see what we're doing as helping them. While I commiserate with the mother in this post, I also wonder what attitude she expressed while in the ER. Was she judging each nurse's and tech's actions as they performed their duties. Did she try to put herself in their shoes and understand perhaps that nurse's back is hurting or that tech is going through a difficult situation at home...? It's easy to say someone is being judgmental...but saying so is in fact judging them!
    Last edit by NLLL16 on Sep 23 : Reason: Grammar check
  7. by   5150rn2
    Cat, I apologize for the nurses that didn't see the person.. it is the biggest peeve I have with nursing now, that dissociation.. people aren't tasks, protocols they are people. And I see less and less of that investment and compassion that used to be. Nursing isn't 9-5, it isn't black and white.. it's taking care of people at their most vulnerable , physically and emotionally.. I have found personally, it's not quality they want anymore it's quantity. I hope your daughter is ok , you as well.. I hope nursing swings back to where investment is involved
    Last edit by 5150rn2 on Sep 23 : Reason: Wasn't able to finish thought b/c of device
  8. by   5150rn2
    Cat, I apologize for the nurses that didn't see the person.. it is the biggest peeve I have with nursing now, that dissociation.. people aren't tasks, protocols they are people. And I see less and less of that investment and compassion that used to be.
  9. by   hopefulRN'17
    First, I am so sorry to hear this. It is very sad.

    Second, I have been through similar. I attempted suicide at age 16. My parents were divorcing, I am an only child and thought it was my fault. On top of that my childhood best friend had just committed suicide a few months prior. The medics and nurse made me feel even worse than I did at that moment. Making sarcastic comments to each other in front of me. It was heartbreaking.

    Fast forward 22 years, last year of nursing school and out of the blue SI came back. I called my husband who is a medic and he took me to get help. That time was completely different. The doctors and nurses were very caring and helped me through it.

    Please don’t give up on the profession. For every one person that may not handle it well, there are still many many that will.

    I hope you are are both doing ok and wish you all the best.
  10. by   5150rn2
    I am sorry but I don't think you do see 2 sides of this. Geez suicidal patients take so long, pulling me away from other patients.. if this were a diabetic in crisis or a cardiac patient in crisis would you be asking them or their families to consider whether or not you were having a hard day? No it's because the message you just sent was it was a toll on your time that was not equal to your other responsibilities.. crisis is crisis, it's not your job to determine which is justifiable for time and which is not.. a doctor once told me when the head is healthy then everything else follows.. remember that.. mental health is just as important as physical health..
    thank you for justifying my earlier comment.
  11. by   TriciaJ
    Quote from wondern
    Sometimes a fake smile turns into a real smile, and sometimes it even spreads into laughter, the best medicine of all! There are many times a smile is in order in life in general and especially so in nursing! Smiles heal. Try it sometime when you're feeling down.

    I think there's actually a physiological link between our brains and our facial muscles contracting in to an upward position!

    I know I am not the only one who has ever forced a smile especially when you've been dealing with lots of sad stuff like in nursing. It doesn't make it fake. It's created by me and my will, or actually, by God's will and blessing, so it is as real as any other smile. Can I get a second on that emotion???
    Patients can spot a fake smile and it usually doesn't go over well. Smiling and laughing when someone is suicidal is completely inappropriate to the point of being insulting. Maybe the customer service crowd endorses this, but I'm not buying.
  12. by   umbdude
    I was in the ER numerous times over a 10-month period when a loved one was dying (I was the primary caregiver). This was before I became a nurse or started nursing school. The callousness of the ER nurses I encountered was jaw dropping. It wasn't just one or a handful, it was the culture. Frankly, at that time I absolutely despised ER nurses and to this day I'm not a big fan of them. Ironically, I got more empathy from the MDs.
  13. by   Glycerine82
    I'm sorry you and your daughter didn't get the kind of nurse that would have best suited you that night. I'm also sorry you felt judged by her, but I would be willing to bet she was just overwhelmed and overworked.

    You got the no nonsense "git er done" nurse, but - as long as your daughter got the help she needed, all is well.

    Please don't let one experience paint the whole picture. As you know, nursing is very diverse and each specialty draws specific personality types.
    Last edit by Glycerine82 on Sep 28 : Reason: Punctuation

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