Difficult co-worker

Nurses Professionalism

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I'm an RN and new to a outpatient procedure center. There's a co-worker who micromanages me. As I went to empty a wastecan, she told me not to, because it wasn't full enough. I started to haul soiled linens out of the recovery room; she told me the bag wasn't full enough. She ordered me to move paperwork on a counter 18 inches to the right ''because it doesn't belong where it is.'' I've been trained by several other coworkers to immediately get family members when a patient comes to recovery, rationale being that if the MD comes to talk to the family member, then the MD shouldn't have to wait. This woman jumped down my throat because a patient ''wasn't stable'' and that I had brought the family back too soon. She referred to me recently as her ''aide.'' I do not engage her in discussion about the micromanagement but she can tell it angers me. She called an impromptu meeting of all the nurses in recovery last week and stated that the ''new nurses'' are told to do things ''because we have a way of doing things here.'' She looked directly at me. She said that when ''new nurses are told to do things and they just walk away'' (as I have done a couple of times), ''that's just being passive - aggressive.'' (I would rather walk away than say or do something unprofessional) After this impromptu meeting, a couple of other nurses asked me if I was ok. I told one that I'm on the verge of quitting, and she strongly encouraged me to talk to my supervisor about the situation, and that I need to ''just let that person's words roll right off your back.'' The micromanager is very tight with our supervisor and I feel that talking with her as suggested will not accomplish anything. The impromptu meeting, in my opinion, was heavy-handed and intended to humiliate me in front of other people. That's mainly why I want to quit -- because I've been humiliated in front of other people. Those nurses did not need to brought into a discussion about tension between two people. She basically brought 5 other people into a situation that should have been handled between me, her and our manager. I'm 54 and I know bull**** when I see it. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to handle this with my supervisor.....should I just resign, or give her the chance to look into it?? I really feel that if this coworker would stoop to public humiliation of another person, that's not a place I want to be.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Sounds like another alpha female case, nursing is full of them.

Before painting that broad canvas. Nursing is gaining a large and larger population of misogynists and frustrated pre-med drop outs who are frustrated that they are not in charge or have to listen to their female boss.

That didn't feel good did it? Don't paint a picture with broad strokes or in one color.

I seldom get frustrated and annoyed....I am annoyed.

IN 35 years of nursing the worst bullying I EVER received were at the hands of 2 male nurses. The catty petty games of other females I can deal with.... the vengeful mean spirited antics of the men was on a totally different level. Their behavior, lack of morals, and professionalism was staggering.

Yet I do not paint all male nurses with the same brush stroke because of a couple of insecure insignificant little men.

Hi ST1959,

Hope you find a new and better position soon! Also, my prayers go out to your father and to you, as his caregiver.

I'm also dealing with a bully MSW (social worker) at my new job. I've been there less than two months, and there is drama, every doggone day with her. She is condescending and disrespectful to me verbally and in e-mails, and thinks she is the RN. She tries to make me look inept. Just last week, I overheard a conversation she was having with one of the techs at the facility, and realized they are in cahoots to have me quit or get fired from the facility.

After many weeks of ignoring her, I finally spoke up, but, I wrote an e-mail implying she is a liar. I didn't outright call her one, but, the implication is clearly there. :laugh: I've been a nervous wreck all weekend because I don't think I will have a job either, by the end of this workweek. I really, really need the money from this job, even though it doesn't pay well. Yet, it's hard being someone's b****.

Specializes in public health.

I was in a similar situation, couldn't stand my co-worker. I was feeling pretty depressed and didn't want to come to work even though I was physically fine. So what I did was I told my supervisor that it was difficult to work with my co-worker and I was thinking about apply to a different position in the same organization. My supervisor supported my decision and wrote a great recommendation letter to the person who was going to hire me. I got the job and I couldn't be happier. Bottom line: if you are not happy with your current situation, change it. You can't change your co-worker, you can't change the fact that she is going to treat you like that for as long as she wants. So change your situation. If you have to spend 8-12 hours a day with a person you can't get along, move on.

I had the same experience with this type of person: my very first nursing job lasted a whole two weeks at an outpatient chemo infusion center. The woman who trained me was so horrible to me: she completely drove me out. All the same micromanaging, in the 2 weeks i was there, i did not even hang a single bag of NS or press the start button on an iv pump. I would ask her if i could do more and she always would say not yet. I was the person who wrote on the phlebotomy tubes with a sharpy, would follow her around, trying to participate, and she would belittle me in front of the patients.

One day during lunch I was flipping through an oncology nursing journal that was on the table in the break room, and she walks in and says I should not even be looking at that yet, as it would be way over my head. Huh? I offered a consoling gesture to a young newly diagnosed cancer patient who was very sad and anxious, and she took me aside and told me not to, as I was not ready to handle emotional paitents. One day she started yelling down the hallway that I might as well just leave because I clearly dont want to do any work...this was because I was in the break room for 5 minutes having a cup of water.

My confidence was zero at that point...I was literally emotionally stunned by this witch.

Even though she completely blocked me from learning anything I continued to ask if I could start the iv, pull the meds (nonchemo) or possibly give an iv push of zofran. She would always put it off by saying things like: "ill tell you what you can do, you can get that sharpy out and start labeling the tubes".

This went on for 2 weeks, I left crying most days, and finally the manager pulled me in and said I just was not getting it, and the patients were not comfortable with me, and so they were letting me go. I totally lost it, and I finally had the power back, and the courage to say the things I should have addressed after week 1. I told her how horrible this woman was to me, and that its no suprise the patients were not comfortable, when she continually critiques me in front of them, what else could they feel? I then suggested that she look into the research on how new grads learn, because there is much literature, and that this was not a healthy work environment. When I finally spoke up the manager admitted that it was her fault and that she was biting off more than she could chew with hiring a new grad.

Anywho, 2 months later got hired into an RN residency at a reputable hospital, its been over a year, and my 2 weeks in chemo nursing are just a faint memory. OP It seems like you handled it much better than I did in terms of conflict management...although in the end we had the same fate, for me-- getting fired was freeing me to do what I was meant to do and it was the best gift they could have given me.

Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.
Update: I asked for a few days off to tend to my ailing father...this on the heels of the incident with my co-worker. My boss called me to her office late today. She fired me. She said it just wasn't working out. Earlier in the week, she'd said I was doing great. I knew all day that she was ****** off at me--no eye contact, no verbal interaction. So, two hours after firing me, she sent me a text message: "I wish you all the best. You're a great person. I hope you have a good weekend and I hope your dad does well. Thanks.'' I did not and will not reply to her. She needs lithium. Very unpredictable, very unstable.

I'm so very sorry. Something quite similar happened with someone I know very well - was doing a good job, but was being micromanaged and harassed, and when he brought it to the attention of upper management, he was first told that he's doing a great job and they're happy with his work, and then the next day he was fired. It's so very unfair. I'm very sorry for your situation.

And FWIW, the micromanager in this situation was another man.

Specializes in Medical-Surgical, Telemetry/ICU Stepdown.

IN 35 years of nursing the worst bullying I EVER received were at the hands of 2 male nurses. The catty petty games of other females I can deal with.... the vengeful mean spirited antics of the men was on a totally different level. Their behavior, lack of morals, and professionalism was staggering.

I forgot to mention nursing is full of people who paint an idealized, if not dishonest, picture of their career that has nothing to do with the day-to-day reality of their experience on the job.

The men I've met in nursing are stereotypical nice guys, to the point of being annoying and pathetic because they are too nice. If they are not nice, they will be out of their jobs. They are afraid of saying or doing something that will displease their coworkers. They are like mice cowering in the corner.

If a man wants to be abusive on the hospital floor and keep his job, he has to go to medical school.

OP--

I am so sorry this happend to you.

Please keep us updated.

Uggghhh! I FEEL like I might work with you. We have a nurse at my job that acts the EXACT SAME way!!! And because she is in tight with our clinical manager and the administrator she gets away with it. Everything has to be done her way or its wrong, and GOD forbid you actually make a mistake, she makes you feel like the lowest of low and the worst human being on the face of the planet while openly discussing your mistake with EVERY other nurse in the facility!!! GRRR! So sorry you are dealing with this. It's hard enough being a new nurse and learning the ropes without individuals like this constantly riding you.

From the sounds of it you work in PACU... SUCH a great place to work, very challenging stuff! You will gain so many skills and that job is not an easy one to come by. Stick with it.

If you are out of orientation, have a one on one with this nurse. Explain to her that you have a problem with the way she treats you and you would like her help in correcting this issue and then calmly tell her all of your issues. If that does not work follow the chain of command. Do not give up a job you love because of one bully. Most likely she bullys everbody but because you are new and fresh she is either channeling all her aggression on you or the rest of the nurses have shut her attitude down enough to where she does not mess with them anymore. Good Luck and let us know how it goes!

Please don't resign. Let this play out. I'm sure that in your lifetime you have seen a nasty, rude coworker get their just desserts. It just takes time and all you need to do is remain calm and watch. The time will come when someone who has witnessed her crap will be in a position where they can say 'ya know, I don't really like this lady anyways'... Your angels are watching and calculating for you in good fun. Don't give up!

Sorry to read that you were fired. Hope that you are able to recover from this setback soon.

Oops-- sometimes I just read the Q, not updates/responses. Their time will come.

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