Do Not Over-Share!

Bipolar disorder and other mental health issues are still very much stigmatized in many healthcare settings. Moreover, some physical ailments carry a stigma. Do you disclose your health problems to your employer? Do you disclose your prescribed medications? Nurses Announcements Archive Article

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I first met Toni in the Summer of 2010.

Toni (not her real name) was an average-height woman in her late 40s with a medium build, gray eyes and dark brown hair that fell several inches below her shoulders. She was a floor LVN at the same specialty rehab hospital where I still work. And she was one of the most proficient, highly skilled nurses I had ever met. With nearly 30 years of experience, this woman was a valuable resource who could run circles around virtually every other nurse on the unit. It's unfortunate I only got to work with her for a grand total of three months.

Toni lacked a verbal filter. She talked too much about her personal issues: the perpetually unemployed husband who cheated on her, the slacker adult children, and so forth. Once she revealed to her coworkers that she had bipolar disorder, they began to whisper to themselves, "This woman is so crazy!" As soon as she disclosed that she was not being treated for her issue, some coworkers placed a bulls-eye on her back and began to target her. And eight years of dedicated employment went down the drain as she was forced to resign over a questionable accusation made by a student nurse who was completing clinical rotations in the facility.

Prior to Toni's revelation that she suffered from bipolar disorder, no one bothered her.

Bipolar disorder and other mental health issues are still stigmatized in healthcare settings, whether or not anyone wants to believe it. I am cognizant that many state boards of nursing require nurses to disclose certain mental illnesses. However, if management or the employee health department at your place of employment is not asking about your health conditions, I would not divulge to any of your coworkers that you have any type of mental illness, because it is unfortunate and inevitable that some of these people will label you as 'nutty' or 'unstable.'

Also, develop an internal filter that will prevent you from sharing your personal problems that are none of your coworkers' business. Smile, be pleasant, and play the game. Do not over-share!

It took me some time to learn this lesson because I also have a history of mental health problems. I was treated for depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the distant past and took medications for a while. I am also an extreme introvert who doesn't particularly enjoy mingling and small talk. Prior to sharing too much information at a previous workplace several years ago, coworkers largely respected me. However, once I casually mentioned my childhood traumas and other personal issues surrounding depression, people began to whisper that I was "weird."

To wrap things up, Toni's forced resignation taught me a couple of lessons that will remain in my awareness for the rest of my working career. For starters, if no one is asking about your mental health issues at the job, do not share unless you wish to be stigmatized. Second, if no one is asking about your physical health problems at the job, I also see no need to share this information unless your employee health department has a specific reason to know.

Finally, get an internal filter as soon as possible. Talk about superficial topics such as the vacation you recently took, the wedding you attended or your kid's birthday party. Anything more personal is none of your coworkers' business.

Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU.

In the past i had a coworker with bipolar disorder. It was known by both management and coworkers. When on medication, he was able to perform his duties well with only minor issues arising from time to time. When he stopped taking his meds, it became very obvious and would escalate to a point were it needed to be addressed. An agreement was made that this nurse could keep his job as long as he remained on his meds or otherwised managed his condition while at work. To do otherwise was grounds for termination. This seemed the like the most fair compromise that could be made. Those with disabilities should have the opportunity to show they can do the work, but should not be floated along if they cannot.

I think the over-share about the untreated bi-polar perhaps changed the way her tantrum to the boss was perceived.

Instead of being seen as a little tempermental, her outburst is now seen as evidence of a person out of control who is not safe to keep around.

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

If they had not known she was bi-polar I wonder if they would have fired her. Maybe they would have just considered it the last straw/rant of an otherwise very frustrated nurse who was feeling somewhat burned out and maybe might have worked with her? I guess we will never know because unfortunately she had shared that info.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
In bringing back focus to this discussion, the thread is titled, "Do not over-share", putting Toni in focus here.

Several things got them to that point- the student dropped the ball for not giving her medications as at when due; the instructor for not checking up on her student and Toni for not following up, for ultimately, the patient was hers.

The bone of contention here, is the way that the picture was painted of Toni parting ways from the company. It seemingly appears she was let go because of her tendency to over share information when in fact, she was let go, because of lousy and inappropriate behavior.

Pardon me for asking a question for clarification.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I think the over-share about the untreated bi-polar perhaps changed the way her tantrum to the boss was perceived.

Instead of being seen as a little tempermental, her outburst is now seen as evidence of a person out of control who is not safe to keep around.

Which is really sad, because---believe it or not---people with bipolar have emotions that are NOT related to the illness.

I would've been upset with that nursing student myself, but I wasn't there, so I don't know if Toni's outburst was entirely unwarranted. But I do think she painted a target on her own back when she revealed her dx and the fact that she was untreated, and after that her supervisors were just looking for a way to get rid of her. Sadly, she walked right into their trap, gave them the ammunition they needed, and was fired for it. :no:

Pardon me for asking a question for clarification.

No apologies needed. If my post came across wrong to you, that was not intended in any way. I thought about putting in a smiley face to lessen any offense you might take but decided against it.

We don't KNOW that the student "skated away". For all we know, she might have received some sort of punishment (hopefully).

. Those of you who think the dx of bipolar disorder is grounds for termination in and of itself should probably take a look at the Americans with Disabilities Act. Thanks for being part of the problem.

Sorry, but you are misinformed. First, "Toni" admitted to being mentally ill and UNTREATED, and presumably also NOT under the care of a mental health profession.

Second... courts broadly and often interpret "reasonable accomodations"....and the first step would be appropriate treatment for the underlying disorder. Would you expect to cover for a coworker who was a known diabetic and did not monitor or treat his/her disease process and therefore had regular syncopal episodes at work???

Specializes in mental health/psych; peds.

Working with nurses every day, day in, day out, you'd think we had it made! Working with nurses who all took an oath to care for others, often putting themselves last, should be a cake walk, right? We should care for each other like we do our patients, right??

Unfortunately, WRONG.

Every place I've worked, it's like my fellow nurses are out to get each other; always trying to "one up" the other nurse. It's a shame really.

Two months into my very first nursing job after passing NCLEX, my mom (a non-nurse) came to me and said, "Crystal, what's wrong with you? Every time you come pick up Kenzie (my daughter) after work you either have tears in your eyes or you barely say a word. What gives?" I began telling her about the nurses I worked with and how I felt like I was in middle school again. Her words were: "I'm shocked! You're around nurses all day...how can it be that bad?" Little did she know how it really was/is. I learned to say NOTHING TO NO ONE. EVEN IF I THOUGHT THAT A FELLOW NURSE WAS MY "FRIEND". It'd be nice if my fellow nurses DID care about each other like they do their patients.

Specializes in Emergency Room.

I have to agree with this one, do NOT over share. I have a history of epilepsy. I have been seizure free since 04/17/2008. I don't think of my epilepsy as a disability or a liability because I can't. I've worked my butt off to get where I am, through seizures, through regulating medication etc., so I don't look at it as a disability, just a pain in the ass. I had a phone interview, went great, I had an in person interview went great. The nurse manager wanted me to do a "test shift" to see how well I interacted with staff, what I thought of the floor. And I huffed it. I was never in one place for long, helping anyone and everyone. But that's me. I don't like to stay in one place and I am like an energizer bunny as long as I'm getting paid. The nurse manager came out, asked me how I was doing, I said great! Big smile and one of the aides asked me to help her with a patient. I overheard the charge nurse say, she just doesn't stop! She has so much energy! The nurse manager asked me which shift I would prefer, and I said days if possible, it's just easier with my epilepsy. Her face froze (she would have been a terrible poker player). I realized my slip later, I had a great shift, I was doing what I loved. No go on the job. Was it because I mentioned the epilepsy? I of course can't be 100% sure but if it's between myself and another nurse with the same qualifications with no epilepsy, well duh. With this job market? That's probably what happened. I've talked to other nurses, hiring managers etc. they tell me flat out, DO NOT MENTION EPILEPSY. It took me almost 7 years to get my Bachelors and I am damn proud of it. I had to learn how to study all over again, and I'm too stubborn to give up, I just apparently like to do things the hard way. :-)

Specializes in Emergency Room.

Hang in there. Not all nurses are horrible, you will meet some wonderful preceptors. You will meet some influential, very smart seasoned nurses. It just takes time to weed them out. I just spoke to a nursing director who is 65 years old (still in nursing mind you) who is taking the more administrative end because she loves nursing hates nurses. The only thing we can do is just remember how we felt when we were bullied and not pass it on. Hold your ground!!!! Keep your head up and keep smiling!!!

I discussed this very issue in another thread where the discussion was about having a past with issues such as depression, bipolar etc. I concluded by saying that it's best not to mention these at work as you will be judged unfavorably because of them. Thank you for posting this. I agree with you 100 percent. If you must talk about a lot of your personal stuff at work (I don't) limit it to the weather, sports, etc. Leave your personal medical past out of it. Really, it could cost you your job somewhere down the line.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Primary/Urgent Care.

What a great topic that spurred so many thoughtful comments, thank you! My opinion is: if you're annoying, you best not be crazy; also, expect everything you do to be scrutinized. On the flip side: if you're crazy, make sure EVERYONE really likes you and still expect to be scrutinized with a microscope and a fine-toothed comb.