Please Help...should I self report?

Nurses Recovery

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Long story short...I am an addict and denial has continued me to the path i am on right now. I was recently called into my supervisors office for suspected diversion. What did I do? DENIED it! Ugh....now I find out its being investigated. I guess i denied everything because every example of suscpious activity that was brought up was not what I diverted. I dont know what I should do. well i know what I SHOULD do...but its not what I want to do. I was terminated from that job. I do have a second job that I work at that doesnt know and i am on good standing with them and never diverted from them. So now I am sitting down trying to decide if I should Call the Health Practioner's Monitoring Program...can i still work when in a recovering program? Will I even be able to get in even if i denied the diverting? Please Help!!!!!

Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.

It is not necessary to state from where everyone is. Many want to remain anonymous and protect their ID on the WWW.

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Specializes in ED, Family Practice, Home Health.

I'm curious what the OP's decision was.

I would recommend staying away from the BON. But please, please, please take a leave of absence attend an intensive outpatient or inpatient drug treatment program (often insurance will cover this), go to 30 Narcotics Anonymous meeting in 30 days (for real), and enroll yourself in some kind of random drug testing. Why? If your previous employer has turned you into the BON it can sometimes take months for them to send you your letter. When they do finally catch up to you it will go miles in your favor to have a paper trail documenting your recovery process. Get a piece of paper signed at every NA meeting you attend.

Also, by taking a leave of absence you get yourself away from the immediate temptation and give yourself some room for recovery to really happen. I wish someone had told me to do these things before I was "caught" by my board. I'd tried to quit numerous times on my own. Even attended a few NA meetings, but I didn't stick to the program.....now I have no choice. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. My recovery, while not complete, has been amazing. I LOVE narcotics anonymous. I WANT to go to meetings. And I enjoy the accountability of random drug testing. I'm blessed.

I'm doubly blessed living in California where I'm able to receive disability while in my first year of recovery (state, not federal, I payed into the pool as I worked). It is unlikely I will be able to get a job for at least two years though, so I have to be frugal and make the money last for two years. But I can do it. You should see if you are able to receive disability in your state, either for addiction or depression.

Best of luck to you.

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Specializes in Main O.R. and CVOR.
Karl Farmer said:
It's refreshing to see some compassion in here, rather that that other offensive poster that gets off by casting stones. Nursing is awful and hard enough without some others playing the 'pious perfect and pretty as a pea' nonsense. Even though I am atheist- you CANNOT argue with: "Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone". I don't envy your position. Good luck.

AMEN!!

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I would truly appreciate some input on this guys and girls. In December of last year I got a call from the travel agency I was working for as an RN telling me not to return to work pending the results of an investigation for narcotics diversion. A week later it was official: I was fired, and told that both the hospital AND agency were obligated to report me to the BON. I thanked her for her professionalism in the matter but confessed to NOTHING.

Within three days of my initial notification I had moved out of my tiny apartment -- and out of state to spend some time with a concerned friend who offered me a safe haven from what looked like certain death. I immediately began attending NA/AA meetings and some serious soul searching. I even managed to get unemployment. It didn't occur to me until last week however that I needed to change my address with the state in question, so I did.

After eight (sober) months my license remains active and intact, and I haven't heard a thing -- from ANYONE. And, after waiting for two months I was finally granted a license in another state. My plan is to begin working again next month. I figured that if it all comes crashing down on me I will have the option of relinquishing my license in the new state -- and if it doesn't, I can at least begin to earn some much needed money while continuing to work on my recovery.

Does anyone have any sense of why I might not have been notified and my license remains active? Am I merely kidding myself to somehow think this might all just magically disappear? A terrible economy, the prolonged uncertainty of this, and the hesitancy to remain hopeful and optimistic has made this a truly difficult ordeal. I would love some feedback. Thanks.

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Specializes in LTC, MDS, plasmapheresis.

You fail to mention: where you are, why you were accused of an offense, and also any details surrounding your charge/offense,etc. Noteably, you also fail to make any mention of whether or not you have committed any offense, and if so why you did, or if not why not, so I am suspicious of the intent of your post. But reading what I have, you give off the feeling that you are guilty of something. If that is the case, you might want to rethink your approach to maintaining your license.

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Med/Surg.
Karl Farmer said:
You fail to mention: where you are, why you were accused of an offense, and also any details surrounding your charge/offense,etc. Noteably, you also fail to make any mention of whether or not you have committed any offense, and if so why you did, or if not why not, so I am suspicious of the intent of your post. But reading what I have, you give off the feeling that you are guilty of something. If that is the case, you might want to rethink your approach to maintaining your license.

Karl-

While 33LarryB did not explicitly admit to the diversion, he did say he has been attending AA/NA, so my take is that he did in fact steal drugs from his workplace.

It is hard to know for sure, but perhaps 33LarryB will manage to skate by with out paying the overwhelmingly heavy price so many of us have paid.

On the other hand, I wonder at his chances for long term sobriety if he continues to live a life of lies.

I was honest about what I did wrong and got screwed to the wall professionally.

However, despite this (because of this?) I have been clean and sober for nearly seven years.

I hope 33LarryB does remain clean or addiction could very well kill him, regardless of the public status of his nursing license.

Interesting food for thought.

Catmom ?

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Specializes in LTC, MDS, plasmapheresis.

There is no way, none, whatsoever, that anyone with a problem will conquer it by nuance, playing with words, and whatnot. It's either face the demon, or more of the same. My opinion.

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RNism said:
Long story short...I am an addict and denial has continued me to the path I am on right now. I was recently called into my supervisors office for suspected diversion. What did I do? DENIED it! Ugh....now I find out its being investigated. I guess I denied everything because every example of suscpious activity that was brought up was not what I diverted. I don't know what I should do. well I know what I SHOULD do...but its not what I want to do. I was terminated from that job. I do have a second job that I work at that doesnt know and I am on good standing with them and never diverted from them. So now I am sitting down trying to decide if I should Call the Health Practioner's Monitoring Program...can I still work when in a recovering program? Will I even be able to get in even if I denied the diverting? Please Help!!!

Do you work under a union at your current job? Just keep doing what you do best and continue to go to your recovering program. You should seek advice from a counselor, and I believe in the long run, they will find out about you. Your are lucky to even have another job. focus on it and move forward. when seeking help, that is being honest with yourself and people around you. need to build trust among all. Good Luck.

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Med/Surg.
Karl Farmer said:
There is no way, none, whatsoever, that anyone with a problem will conquer it by nuance, playing with words, and whatnot. It's either face the demon, or more of the same. My opinion.

This was certainly the case for me.

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@ 33LarryB: is there any possibility you missed any notification before you changed your address? most importantly- if you do somehow manage to fly under the BON's radar- & you do have a drug problem- & you continue to work as a nurse, unmonitored & without intense treatment for that problem- with all those drugs at your disposal- well, it's like giving an alcoholic a job as a bartender. your chances of staying clean are very slim indeed. we all have to pay the piper at some point. plain & simple. best of luck.

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To all of those posting replies to my query -- thank you. Please don't take what I HAVEN'T said in my post as somehow an indication of my denial. It's just that being new here I wanted to be judicious with my words. I was merely looking for some shared experiences that may be of some help to this addict in my long road back. As many of you have acknowledged, in spite of our various addictions and transgressions, the Boards of Nursing professing a need to "protect the public" seem anything but empathetic to us as individuals. Since December of last year nary a pill or cocktail has crossed my lips. Believe me, this is no minor detail. Having used drugs of various forms for virtually my entire adult life the miracle for today -- and the prior eight months -- is that I AM SOBER.

With that said, I only hope and prey that I won't now be crucified by people who could care less about the specifics of my case or my recovery -- only that I am "punished." And given the lengthy times it often takes for BONS to take action, I am hardly optimistic on this front.

Does anyone know whether BONS are apt to try contacting us by phone if they can't by certified mail? As I said, although I recently changed my address with the state board in question, my concern is that if they were unable to contact me they would revoke me in abstention. Thanks.

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