I'm an addict - page 2

I finally admitted it, I'll never forget the day. It was Dec. 12th- the day before my graduation from RN school. I had been working as an LPN since 2002 and was finally graduating, but I almost didn't walk. It seemed like my... Read More

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    Wow, you are so inspiring. When I was in nursing school, the ER gave me some lortabs for abdominal pain. When I took them I noticed how they made me feel....and I liked it...too much. I began buying them and taking them as "nerve pills" and later started crushing and snorting. I did that the entire last semester of nursing school and for a while afterward. I was always worried where I would get more when I got low on my "stash". It was horrible. Finally, I just quit, with the help of my husband I flushed the rest down the toilet. The withdrawals were horrible, but I made it thru them. I was clean for one year. Then, to make things worse, I had a MAJOR abdominal surgery. Pain was excruciating. I was prescribed Lortabs again. I knew deep down I shouldnt take them, but I thought to myself "this time its legitimate and I am in severe pain". Well, it started me on the roller coaster again (without snorting them). Well, now fast forward to the present: Im glad I got thru it AGAIN. Just because someone doesnt look like they are in pain, doesnt mean they are drug-seeking. To look at me today you would NEVER guess that I am in constant pain everyday. I work, I smile, I go downstairs to smoke on my breaks, etc. You cant judge a book by its cover. Yeah, some patients may be addicts, but thats the reason they need more pain medicine to get their pain under control, because their body has built a tolerance. And just because a patient goes and smokes after receiving a dose of pain medicine doesnt mean they are not hurting and doesnt mean they are drugseeking. I use smoking as a "crutch" to help me deal with pain. Nicotine withdrawal is a horrible addition to pain...it makes pain worse. So smoking is no inclination of pain. Because a patient is able to walk in the hallway does not mean they are not in pain. Now, I do know there are those who are drug-seeking. I had a patient who was previously a nurse (had lost her license) and had a port-a-cath. I caught her crushing her percocet and taking saline flushes out of the trash and crushing them and putting them in her port. Now THAT is drug addiction beyond addiction. I commend any person who has overcome any addiction and I empathize with those who are still struggling with addiction. It does not make them a bad person, they are just desperate. They dont choose to be that way, they dont know how to overcome it. "HUGS" to everyone here who have faced addiction and "HUGS" to those who try to understand and help.

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