eneed1566

I finally admitted it, I'll never forget the day. It was Dec. 12th- the day before my graduation from RN school. I had been working as an LPN since 2002 and was finally graduating, but I almost didn't walk. It seemed like my whole life was crashing down on me that day in my director's office. There was no way I could walk in graduation after what took place in there. On my way home from taking my dtr. to the doc. I got a call from my director, there was a pyxis discrepency and I had to do a drug test asap. So, I swung into the hospital and gave them a list of my drugs and gave them their sample. The whole time shaking. Although I didn't do anything wrong at work and I know I didn't I was just wondering if somehow somebody at work knew about my addiction and turned me in. So, I went to my pinning that night not being exicted about it but wondering what happened at work. They wouldn't tell me until my results came in. I had finall admitted to myself a few months earlier that I had an addiction. But, I was in a catch. I began taking hydros after I had my son and had excruciating back pain from my SI joints, or thats all the dx they could ever give me. I took myself off of them after a few months cause I knew they just made me feel too good. Then, after my dtr was born my pain was worse, was on both sides, and I just couldn't take it any longer. I took them on and off for a few months and decided again I need to stop taking these, even if the dr. said its ok to take 2 at a time since just one wasn't helping my back. I finally went to my dr. and told him I needed a referral to a pain spec. I said I was sick of taking pain pills. I told him I had heard of people with back pain so bad they killed themselves. Although, I never considered killing myself, my pain was that bad. I didn't want narcs, I wanted relief. I had an injection in one side that worked, for a very short period of time. For once in 3 years, my right SI didn't hurt! But, then one day at work about a month later- it came back and did it ever! So, we live in a small town and several people I knew had bought hydros. So, I made a call and from then on it got worse. I was taking more and more, buying more and more. Getting some from my dr. and buying them. My boss called me the next day and said to come in and she'd explain everything to me. I had told myself back in the summer, just get through RN school and then you've got to stop taking these. After she called, I was just so worried about what they were going to say. I had such a guilty conscience because of my addiction. I decided right then and there if I was ever going to give a chance to come clean, this would prob be it. I walked into that meeting knowing that things would never be the same. But at the same time thinking, you know this is it. Are you sure you want to do this. Are you sure you can live with the pain. That was my dilemma, if I admitted I had a problem, I'd be in pain. I knew I couldn't get a bottle of hydros anymore and be able to take them only when needed. The issue at work was somebody said they didn't get their- Vicodin. Well, I gave it. I know in my heart I did. It didn't matter to them. I had quit back in the spring to finish RN school and had just started back about a month before I graduated. They said I was within my 90 days and they didn't feel comfortable about to put me in a charge nurse position with this already happening. I was fired. But then they said that magical thing- if you have anything to say now is the time to say it. So, I did. I cried my eyes out. I couldn't believe what I had just done, I'd just admitted to somebody I had a problem. And of all people, my bosses, my friends. I had known these people for awhile now, we'd hung out, went out to eat. They were more then just my bosses. So, I heard the news from my director and DON- you need help. You need to call your mom, you need to call your husband. My hubby works out of state and although he isn't home much- he knew I'd bought before, he just didn't know how much. He's not the type to say much, I was afraid he'd be mad at me. I cried, I told him how embarassed I was, I told him I had horrible news and I'd tell him when I drove to where he was working. No, just tell me he insisted. I said don't worry, I'm not cheating! He insisted I told him and I'm sooo glad I did. He said the best thing to me- Don't worry, we'll get through it. I'll be home in a couple of weeks. Go to your mom's. You need somebody with you. I'm working too many hours. Don't worry, though, we'll make it. And that we are. Its soon to be 2 months sober, I day at a time. I'm so glad I'm free. I don't wake up wondering if I'll have enough pills to do me until I can find some more, I don't have to worry if I'll have enough to do this or that. I'm just glad I don't have the secret bottled up inside of me anymore. My closest friends know, thats all that need to know. They'll keep me on the right path. I don't have a problem with people know it and am not embarassed by it, but I just don't feel the need to tell everybody when they ask if I'm gonna go to work now that I passed boards why I don't want to right now. I need to focus on myself and my children. Mostly, myself. I'm not ready for work. I don't want to work. I almost got turned off by nursing b/c somebody at work didn't want me as their charge nurse and they had a friend in the hospital and that's all it took. They've admitted it, I don't care. It was a blessing in disguise. Cause I'm getting my life back on track now. I'm just glad I'm free. I want to educate people now. I told my boss, you know I never meant for it to be like this. I didn't! People that haven't ever been addicted don't know what its like. You've become dependent on something for whatever reason. You know you have a problem but don't quite know if you even want to deal with it let alone what you want to do about it. I look at those people termed 'drug seeking' in a whole different light. Yes, they do have a problem and I guarantee they don't really want it. I'd also like to educate doctors. You know, its amazing what a little Mobic and Cymbalta do for my pain. Do you think they ever tried that? Nope. Not until I demanded no narcotics but I need some relief. Of course, there are times I hurt so bad I could cry, its not every minute of every day now. And to be honest, the hydros didn't really help the pain. They just made it so I didn't care about it. I'm taking it one day at a time. I'll work again, just not right now. But, hopefully soon.

When JCAHO first started making their unannounced surveys, every hospital would freak out. How would the hospital know when they were coming, how would all the directors/managers know when they were there, etc. When JCAHO does surveys most of the hospitals post the survey notes that is sent from all the CSM reps to those that they are representing to help prepare them for what JCAHO might be asking and looking for. One thing that hounded many hospitals was how was everybody going to know JCAHO was there without calling every single person and wasting time on the phone. Soon after JCAHO arrives they meet with administration and give them a run down of the days to come, want a floorplan of the facility, want access to administration P&P, etc. Soon after they started sending out these survey results, a hospital announced that they had devised something to 'welcome' JCAHO to their hospital that way everybody could get their documents prepared and ready for inspectors. This is why most hospitals came up with some sort of announcement when JCAHO came. And yes, it does help to do a quick run through- drinks on counters, drugs out in open, things in hallway, etc. We simply did a we'd like to welcome JCAHO to our facility thing. They don't mind you doing this, not quite sure why you'd have to keep it discreet and say a code J. And you're right, if they hear a Code J and its not on the list of Codes and what to do, it could be a strike.

For that matter, I've dropped pills in the floor before and have had my pts. say "Oh, don't worry about it! You don't need to get me another one, I'll take that!" Well, since it was on the floor I gave it to the pt- J/K! I went and got another pill, even though they insisted on taking the dropped pill. But I've dropped them on the bedside table or on the pt's gown/bed before and gave them. Good luck to you! Don't sweat the small stuff!

We live in NE ARK. COL is low but jobs are poor! Hubby has to travel out of state to find decent pay, along with probably half of our town! I'm sure there are parts of the state that do offer good jobs but I believe this area is not one of them! Many factories have shut-down. Drugs are horrible! I often think of moving just so my kids don't have to be around the drugs, but I know that eventually the drugs will be wherever we move to. The schools in this area are so-so. I remember people that I graduated with being awarded thousands and thousands of dollars worth of scholarships to top schools in the state only to go and figure out they weren't one bit prepared for college! While it is pretty and there is plenty of outdoor activities to do, if you can't make a living here its no use! We stay b/c of family but it is almost to the point that we are going to have to move where there are more and better jobs!

The staff that you work with will make or break you! When I was working at a LTC facility, I, too, worked with one of these 'wicked' nurses. While she was the same rank as I at the time, LPN, it was still uncomfortable giving report to her as she was always trying to find something wrong with what I did. I worked 3-11 and she worked 11-7 and we both always worked on the same hall. When she couldn't get to me, she'd go after the CNAs. There were many that either threatened to quit if they didn't change their hall or they simply did quit. Its sad that people (not just nurses) treat others that way. Even if you did do something wrong, the way she responded to it (if what you write is true) is no way to handle it. Sounds to me like she may be on a power trip! You need to type/write up formally all events (major ones, don't nit-pick) and take them with you to the meeting. Only state the facts, no opinions. Ask other co-workers (not only CNAs if possible) if they'd be willing to go to bat for you if she brings up some vaild complaints. You say the resident at issue is oriented? If its not been too long, ask your supervisor to go and ask that resident if what you say is true or not. Ask if you can switch swifts, switch halls, etc. A lot of times it seems people on a power trip are even worse when they work shifts when there are little or no other supervisors present. Best of luck to you, let us know how it works out!

Not sure if you've found a soln. or not yet--- do you kids currently go to any type of daycare? If so, how about asking some of the parents there for 1 night a week to take your kids home, feed them, etc. It'd prob work best if their kids were your kids' ages. You could ask 1 or 2 parents and if they agree, they could swap- one keep them 2 nights one week and 1 night the next week and vice versa. Or perhaps if you've found something else, could a parent there be your back-up? I've been fortunate to have family and friends around to help me with the same situation you're in and don't know what I would've done without them. Now, I'm considering travel nursing but think I'm going to be held back cause I'm not sure I can find proper care for our children. My husband works out of state too and we'll be travelling with him so we'll be both be working. Good luck to you and hope school is going great!!

$17/hr? That is less than what graduate nurses start out here in Arkansas! I'd say something is fishy there!! Best of luck to you!

I do weekly JCAHO questions of the week, I post 2 questions and then draw the winner out of a list of correct answers. The winner chooses a prize. We are also holding a JCAHO Carnival where each department is setting up a booth with questions related to their department and the staff will go through each station and answer the questions. Just because you have agency staffing your hospital doesn't mean they aren't responsible for their actions and you need to make them aware of this. If you are obtaining JCAHO certification then they must adhere to your policies. JCAHO will question agency nurses! Another fun thing to do is to see who can find the most expired item. We had a battery that was found the expired over 10 years ago. This is best for the original survey since you are constantly outdated once you're a part of JCAHO. The best way to get the staff involved is simply to try and make a game out of it.

We have an EMS radio at the nurses station which clues people in most of the time if there is something coming into the ED. Also sometimes the nurses call for back-up from the RN on Med/Surg. And, yes even with it being such a small hospital, word travels fast. We are having trouble with our whole hospital and confidentiality, from Transcription to X-ray. Guess I have a lot of teaching to do. Thanks!

I have recently been asked to present an in-service on HIPPA to our nurses. Here's the deal... We are a small 25 bed hospital with a pretty active ED. Sometimes when a patient the staff knows or code/trauma comes in some of the staff takes off to the ED to see who it is or to 'check on the pt'. I'm certain this is in violation of HIPPA and am needing some education materials to present to my nurses. We've all been to the mandatory meetings but I need to present some info to them that they'll understand better.