Why so closed minded? WHY? - page 8

Worked with a male nurse the other night. This nurse is agency and has worked at our facility for some time. He always gives good pt care and is helpful to the aides and other nurses. As I took V.S.... Read More

  1. by   Brownms46
    Preference doesn't always mean..discrimination. It can simply mean...a female or a male pt. may be uncomfortable with some of the opposite sex seeing them undressed. Many women are even uncomfortable undressing in front of each other, let alone a male. There even women whose husband has never really seen them fully in the nude, or who have intimacy in the dark. Now their actions maybe considered old fashion or outdated...but that is their preference...and certainly not discrimination...

    I also agree that there should have been no need for a survey to be done...concerning care being given by a nurse who is a male.

    Maybe they should have done a survey as to how each pt. perceived their care...but not who gave it to them!
  2. by   mark_LD_RN
    i agree that preference is not necessarily discrimination. as far as the patients are concerned i want what is best for them and wht they are comfortable with. a patients right to choose has never been an issue with me. even if i disagree with their choice it is theres to make.

    the sad thing i have seen has been from nurses themselves, the ones i would have expected to be the most supportive and understanding of this issue. i have posted many times about how i have been denied jobs based on gender, how nurses have felt it necessary to warn my patients etc. that is all wrong. My main arguement is if my patients don't have a problem with and they like me, why do nurses insist on harrassing me over this issue. all i ask is to be treated fairly and given the same opportunities as other nurses.

    i really despise the term male nurse, we do not call female doctors" female doctors " so why must we have the monicker of "male nurse".

    i agree with you brownms46, the survey should have asked how they percieved the care given not on the gender of the care giver. but then again it can be nursing managements way to attempt to prove why males can not work ob areas.

    I am grateful that i have a job i love and finally found a place that appreciates me for who i am , my coworkers complement me almost daily. it is truely a pleasure to work with them.

    I have another example of discrimination for you. I recently applied for a PRN L&D position at a local hospital, they been looking for nurses for a while i turned in numerous applications left messages i am good friends with most of the L&D staff and nursery staff there they talked to the nurse manager about me, told them how good a nurse i was and that where ever i worked the staff and patients reaally liked me. well this hospital is down to one night Labor nurses ,nurses are forced to work overtime,nursemanager is picking up shifts and they are using agency when possible and working short staffed. But I am still not being considered to work there because of my gender. My nurse manager talked to her and told her about me and she flat out told her she would not hire me because i am male.

    now does this sound fair? Is this discrimination? why should one persons prefrence be allowed to limit my opportunities to work and support my family. she has no intention of being open minded enough to even give me a try. it was hard at first where i work every body had there eyes on me the DON,ADON, nurse manager ,DOCS. i was esourted everywhere. now the docs treat me just like anyone else.


    well enough already, my posts are getting longer all the time.

    keep up the good work ray!
  3. by   Brownms46
    have another example of discrimination for you. I recently applied for a PRN L&D position at a local hospital, they been looking for nurses for a while i turned in numerous applications left messages i am good friends with most of the L&D staff and nursery staff there they talked to the nurse manager about me, told them how good a nurse i was and that where ever i worked the staff and patients reaally liked me. well this hospital is down to one night Labor nurses ,nurses are forced to work overtime,nursemanager is picking up shifts and they are using agency when possible and working short staffed. But I am still not being considered to work there because of my gender. My nurse manager talked to her and told her about me and she flat out told her she would not hire me because i am male.
    This is discrimination in every sense of the word...and it's unlawful!
  4. by   teeituptom
    howdy yall
    from deep in the heat of texas


    Define unlawfull, the is a male nurse in Okla city a yr or 2 ago who lost a discrimination suit, because they would not hire him for L and D. So if the courts rule against him is it truly unlawfull. As the courts are there to uphold the law.

    While yes I worked L and D for a few years, And never had any problems. I also decided I preferred more action, and changed to ER.

    Now I wonder why any guy would want to do it anyway.. I like the stress and decision making of the ER far better. Its much more challenging and rewarding.
  5. by   Brownms46
    Hi teeituptom

    Thanks for the information about that case. IMHO...I believe the courts were wrong! I believe this is a case where those supposedly there to uphold the law...didn't! They can't have it both ways, as male are OB/GYN..so where is the difference??? Your question of why a male would want to do it, (as a nurse)...can be asked the same of males who are OB's?? In medical field ...where men have always abound, why is a nurse who is a male excluded from practice in certain areas...where a MD is not???? I can see a pt. making the choice between having a male or a female practicioner. But a facility, that hires males who are OB, but not males who are nurses for OB....makes no sense to me at all!

    The best thing about nursing, is that there is usually something for everyone, as we all have different interests, and gifts. And all should have an equal chance to work in the area of their choice.

    You have to remember...at one time...the courts made erroneous decisions concerning race also!
  6. by   NMAguiar
    I've always considered myself to be on the receiving end of undue respect more often than criticism.

    Sure, occasionally I get the questions: Are you gay? Weren't you smart enough to be a doctor? But mostly patients -- I believe -- tend to associate male nurses with doctors lending to more respect and trust than a female gets from the same individuals.
    There have been plenty of "problem patients" that joined the program when I walked into the room.

    This is not to say females get less respect. This is only my feeling with patients that are narrow-minded enough to notice -- then the respect issuegoes both ways.


  7. by   live4today
    one fact that we have not addressed here is that most states are a "right to work....right not to hire......right to quit without notice...states". in these states (north carolina for example), an employer does not have to give an applicant a reason for not hiring them.....nor do they have to give a reason for firing them when they are fired....and vice versa......no employee has to give a reason for quitting a job, or for refusing a job. any form of discrimination going around a place of employment is strictly "hear say" in a court of law based on the above rules for those states that honor this ruling, and to my knowledge, montana is the only state that does not fall under this ruling. saying that......yes......discrimination exist......big time.......but employers are getting away with it big time because they can....based on the "right to hire/fire" rule. sad....but true.

    dayray.....mark......other nurses who are men.....as someone who is looked upon in america as a "minority"........i "feel" your pain.....only no matter what area of nursing i work in......i have faced discrimination based on the "skin color" issue, and there isn't a soap in the world that can wash that away. :kiss
  8. by   JailRN
    My husband complains about the same things. He's a 2nd semester student, and in his whites and lab caot, the patients call him "Doctor." (sigh...put a middle aged man in a white lab coat and everyone assumes he's a doctor) Worse than that is when he introduces himself to his patients, his name is "Doug,"
    but they think he's saying "Doc". It's the PA. dutch accent that even after 30 yrs in LA ,he can't shake.
    God Bless the nurses-girls and boys.
  9. by   Brownms46
    It's one thing not to give someone a job, and NOT state the reason. It's quite another when a nurse manager actually states a reason...such as someone being male!
  10. by   LasVegasRN
    Someone mentioned narcissism earlier. I like Lord Byron's take on that word:

    "Self-love for ever creeps out, like a snake, to sting anything which happens . . . to stumble upon it."
    Lord Byron (1788-1824), English poet. Ravenna Journal (published in Byron's Letters and Journals, vol. 8, ed. by Leslie A. Marchand, 1973-81), entry for 11 Jan. 1821.

    The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations is licensed from Columbia University Press. Copyright 1993, 1995 by Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.
    Last edit by LasVegasRN on Aug 9, '02
  11. by   mark_LD_RN
    yes it is ridiculous that this is a topic at all. why is it ok to be a male ob/gyn but not a male ob nurse?

    as far as why would a male want to do it. It choose me ,i planned on being a CRNA but in school my patients in L&D and OB loved me so much that my instuctor asked me to try precepting in that area. have been in love with it ever since. the response i get from patients and family has been so special to me that there is nothing else in the world i would rather do.


    and it is not like people think,I see my patient as a person not as any anatomical part. I don't see why some people would think otherwise.
  12. by   live4today
    [i]Originally posted by Mark...
    and it is not like people think,I see my patient as a person not as any anatomical part. I don't see why some people would think otherwise. [/B]
    Mark.........SOME men DO see the ANATOMICAL part and NOT the WOMAN giving birth. SOME men do NOT even like their WIVES to BREASTFEED because THOSE SAME MEN see their wives BREAST as ANATOMICAL SEX OBJECTS ONLY!!! Having said that.......SOME nurses who are males (and anymore some females since not all females love or like men) DO know how to view their female patients as female patients and not sex objects.

    Americans are NOT known for their GRACEFUL side when it comes to how we think about sex and the human body. You just continue being the wonderful nurse that you are, keeping it all in perspective as you give your professional self to your patients, and don't worry about the CATTALK that you are no doubt going to hear coming from nurses who are female who don't think you should be helping women deliver babies. Heck.....I had three children......two delivered by male docs, and one delivered by a female doc. Why would I object to having a L&D nurse who is male? I wish you the best, Mark. Trust your own professionalism to continue making you the shining nurse to your patients, and pray for those nurses who are JEALOUS they didn't get to have a male nurse in their day. :chuckle :kiss
  13. by   mark_LD_RN
    thanks cheerful that is so sweet of you to say.

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