Why so closed minded? WHY?

[alwaysthere]

Worked with a male nurse the other night. This nurse is agency and has worked at our facility for some time. He always gives good pt care and is helpful to the aides and other nurses. As I took V.S. One pt. starts going OMG a male nurse! Why do the let guys do this? Dosent he realize we're female!...etc...etc..etc.

This is absolutely one of the most closed minded attitudes I have the misfortune of dealing with...and it happens time and again. Well it ended up that everytime he had to go into the room i had to go with him. And to his credit he endured the stuff she said to his face !...me on the other hand ..I had to duck outside for a few minutes and unclench my teeth... Why is it acceptable for a woman to see a male doctor, a male pt to been seen by a female doc or to be cared for by a female Nurse/Aide.? and yet not acceptable for a female to receive care from a licensed PROFESSIONAL who happens to be male? GRRR

P.S. today i was a pt. had seen the NP about the prob before and was made to feel as if she really didnt have enough time to be bothering with me. (not saying that all are like this,Ive heard NP's are wonderful) anyways saw the MD today he TALKED with me and examined me more than she had and actually got some history on me etc. generally treated me like a human. had to get ex-ray etc. the female tech made me feel like i was going through a proccesor...at that point i had already had a bad enough day and didnt need it getting worse. well the guy actually doing the films talked with me held my hand was so gentle and generally it felt like he cared. i felt sorta human again after that ....well we will see what P.T. brings. Tis truly better to give than to receive!

:chuckle

Kudos to all you wonderful and caring Nurses AIdes and Techs,no matter how your chromesomes are arranged!:kiss

[LasVegasRN]

Geez, how'd I miss that? I thought you were talking about patient care all this time.

I agree 100% - being denied employment based on gender IS discrimination. No question! Incomprehensible that it would come from our peers.

[LasVegasRN]

Originally posted by mark_LD_RN

LasVegas Rn I see it very differently it most definitely is discrimination, being done out of hate is not a prerequisite to be discrimination. look up the definition for your self...

Oh, and since this has been cleared up, I do not feel I need to look up a word that I have lived all of my life.

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

Originally posted by LasVegasRN

Oh, and since this has been cleared up, I do not feel I need to look up a word that I have lived all of my life.

Nope Vegas... wouldn't be prudent

Heather

[live4today, RN]

Originally posted by LasVegasRN

Oh, and since this has been cleared up, I do not feel I need to look up a word that I have lived all of my life.

LVRN.......a very astute finding on your part, I might say! :chuckle

Oh.....I, too, have LIVED AND LIVED AND LIVED discrimination all my life......but I did NOT know that is what was happening until I started my first job at the age of 17. I grew up in a "plastic bubble"....so to speak....parents didn't teach us kids much...HO-HUM!!!

MARK.........AND ALL OTHER MALE OB NURSES LISTENING.....I strongly believe that nurses should NOT discriminate against one another, but stick together at all times. :) IF a woman request not to have a male nurse help her in her laboring and delivering....then so be it....grant her that which she wishes for. If the woman has no complaints....carry on. :kiss

[mark_LD_RN]

here is the definition according to websters dictionary for those who want to know.

DISCRIMINATION-to make a difference in treatment or favor on a basis other than individual merit ,

just posted it incase anyone wanted to know the definition of it ,not just what may be felt about what it is.

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by mattsmom81

This is not stereotypical at all on my part at all...I love my coworkers who happen to be male. And we see eye to eye on this issue.... I'm not a nurse to stress my patient out, or make them uncomfortable with their care just to be PC...nor lecture them ie 'he's a nurse just like me' to get them to comply with our idea of PC. I just don't see this as the nurses' role in this kind of issue...

ANYTIME a female or male patient requests a same sex nurse, I and my male coworkers do so without a second thought...unless staffing prohibits, and even then we 'switch off' personal care or accomodate best we can for the patient's sake. I don't understand why would we want to do anything else. .JMHO.

I totally agree mattsmom! If a pt. doesn't want me to care for them...I will be more than glad to accomodate them. I don't care about having a male care for me, but if someone is uncomfortable with it...that is their right! If someone is going to be touching their body...it should be someone their comfortable with...period!

And just for the sake of explanation...[ sexual preference...does not mean....having a Preference over one sex or another. It means to me at least...discriminating against a person, because of their sexual preference. Such as being gay or straight! This I feel is wrong...but is not saying...that no one has the right to have a preference as to who will touch their bodies! Seems like a no brainer to me! And mattsmom...you're right about the ignore feature...I really love it! :chuckle

[Dayray, RN]

Sorry LVRN and cheerful my post wasn't actually directed at you. Both of you have been very supportive and nice.

I do however stand by my statement that it is discrimination. As I have said in the past I wouldn't force myself on a patient that was uncomfortable because of my race or gender but I still see it as discrimination.

I too have lived with discrimination on the basis of race. I have to agree with mark when he says it doesn't have to be based on hate. I am actually half white and half Hispanic, its funny but some people think I'm Hispanic and others think I'm white. Because of this I have actually had people from both races tell me raciest things thinking I'm the same race as them.

Most of the time they don't really hate the other race they just have some stereotypical opinions (not unlike some people do about male nurses). I've heard that Hispanics aren't very smart and that they are lazy, steal, live on welfare, all stick up for each other. I've heard that white people are mean, beat their kids, are selfish, sneaky and don't care about others.

All those things are silly and could apply to individuals from either race. Heck if they were true I'd be one messed up individual being of both races.

I had a patient once refuse my care because he thought I would steal from him (I was told this by the nurse who took over for me). He wasn't demented just from an older generation back when discrimination based on race was acceptable. I have also had older Hispanic patients tell me they want me for their nurse because they don't trust white people.

Discrimination against male nurses isn't so much of an issue with patients but it is with nurses and doctors. The only time I have ever had a patient request a female nurse was when a doctor suggested that she should.

Last week my supervisors did random surveys with patients on the floor. I got really good scores and they asked my patients how they felt about having a male OB nurse. My supervisor told me they all responded basically the same way, they said "why would that matter?" and didn't really understand why they would even ask the question.

It doesn't matter to patients but it still seems to matter to many nurses.

In response to one poster: It doesn't bother me that you prefer a female nurse but it does bother me that you try to justify this as simple preference when it is clearly prejudice. It is not the end of the world to be prejudice. Every one (if they were honest) has some prejudice. It could be as simple as believing people from the other side of town are strange.

It's normal human behavior to be uncomfortable with the unfamiliar and people who are different from us. Rationalizing these feelings is where the problems start and how hatred starts. We have come along way in this world by becoming more comfortable with each other this is just another bump in the road.

The world is changing; someday female doctors and male nurses will be free from discrimination based on preconceived ideas about gender roles.

Until then I would just like for those of you who have these "preferences" to really examine your feeling about the gender of your care provider. What are the feelings based on? Is it something you have seen? Is it based on induction or deduction? Is it something your parents taught you? How would these feelings be different from someone who just felt more comfortable with a non- minority nurse?

[Brownms46]

Preference doesn't always mean..discrimination. It can simply mean...a female or a male pt. may be uncomfortable with some of the opposite sex seeing them undressed. Many women are even uncomfortable undressing in front of each other, let alone a male. There even women whose husband has never really seen them fully in the nude, or who have intimacy in the dark. Now their actions maybe considered old fashion or outdated...but that is their preference...and certainly not discrimination..:).

I also agree that there should have been no need for a survey to be done...concerning care being given by a nurse who is a male.

Maybe they should have done a survey as to how each pt. perceived their care...but not who gave it to them!

[mark_LD_RN]

i agree that preference is not necessarily discrimination. as far as the patients are concerned i want what is best for them and wht they are comfortable with. a patients right to choose has never been an issue with me. even if i disagree with their choice it is theres to make.

the sad thing i have seen has been from nurses themselves, the ones i would have expected to be the most supportive and understanding of this issue. i have posted many times about how i have been denied jobs based on gender, how nurses have felt it necessary to warn my patients etc. that is all wrong. My main arguement is if my patients don't have a problem with and they like me, why do nurses insist on harrassing me over this issue. all i ask is to be treated fairly and given the same opportunities as other nurses.

i really despise the term male nurse, we do not call female doctors" female doctors " so why must we have the monicker of "male nurse".

i agree with you brownms46, the survey should have asked how they percieved the care given not on the gender of the care giver. but then again it can be nursing managements way to attempt to prove why males can not work ob areas.

I am grateful that i have a job i love and finally found a place that appreciates me for who i am , my coworkers complement me almost daily. it is truely a pleasure to work with them.

I have another example of discrimination for you. I recently applied for a PRN L&D position at a local hospital, they been looking for nurses for a while i turned in numerous applications left messages i am good friends with most of the L&D staff and nursery staff there they talked to the nurse manager about me, told them how good a nurse i was and that where ever i worked the staff and patients reaally liked me. well this hospital is down to one night Labor nurses ,nurses are forced to work overtime,nursemanager is picking up shifts and they are using agency when possible and working short staffed. But I am still not being considered to work there because of my gender. My nurse manager talked to her and told her about me and she flat out told her she would not hire me because i am male.

now does this sound fair? Is this discrimination? why should one persons prefrence be allowed to limit my opportunities to work and support my family. she has no intention of being open minded enough to even give me a try. it was hard at first where i work every body had there eyes on me the DON,ADON, nurse manager ,DOCS. i was esourted everywhere. now the docs treat me just like anyone else.

well enough already, my posts are getting longer all the time.

keep up the good work ray!

[Brownms46]

have another example of discrimination for you. I recently applied for a PRN L&D position at a local hospital, they been looking for nurses for a while i turned in numerous applications left messages i am good friends with most of the L&D staff and nursery staff there they talked to the nurse manager about me, told them how good a nurse i was and that where ever i worked the staff and patients reaally liked me. well this hospital is down to one night Labor nurses ,nurses are forced to work overtime,nursemanager is picking up shifts and they are using agency when possible and working short staffed. But I am still not being considered to work there because of my gender. My nurse manager talked to her and told her about me and she flat out told her she would not hire me because i am male.

This is discrimination in every sense of the word...and it's unlawful!

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

howdy yall

from deep in the heat of texas

Define unlawfull, the is a male nurse in Okla city a yr or 2 ago who lost a discrimination suit, because they would not hire him for L and D. So if the courts rule against him is it truly unlawfull. As the courts are there to uphold the law.

While yes I worked L and D for a few years, And never had any problems. I also decided I preferred more action, and changed to ER.

Now I wonder why any guy would want to do it anyway.. I like the stress and decision making of the ER far better. Its much more challenging and rewarding.

[Brownms46]

Hi teeituptom

Thanks for the information about that case. IMHO...I believe the courts were wrong! I believe this is a case where those supposedly there to uphold the law...didn't! They can't have it both ways, as male are OB/GYN..so where is the difference??? Your question of why a male would want to do it, (as a nurse)...can be asked the same of males who are OB's?? In medical field ...where men have always abound, why is a nurse who is a male excluded from practice in certain areas...where a MD is not???? I can see a pt. making the choice between having a male or a female practicioner. But a facility, that hires males who are OB, but not males who are nurses for OB....makes no sense to me at all!

The best thing about nursing, is that there is usually something for everyone, as we all have different interests, and gifts. And all should have an equal chance to work in the area of their choice.

You have to remember...at one time...the courts made erroneous decisions concerning race also!