Transgender Nurses - experiences/opinions

Nurses Relations

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Hi,

Thanks for taking the time to read this and hopefully providing your input. I am new to this site, and nursing. I have passed my nursing program and will be taking the nclex this summer. Unfortunately, I am at another more confusing/vital crossroad in my life where I need to decide whether I have the courage to be who I always felt I was or resign myself to living out my life in the manner that my family and society thinks that I should. Sadly, right now, all I can see is a great deal of emotional pain with either path I choose.

I was hoping that some of you might have experience either as a person transitioning or as the co-worker of someone who has transitioned while they were working at a hospital. I am particularly interested in male to female experiences since that is my potential situation and also because it so commonly elicits a much stronger negative reaction than female to male. How did the hospital, staff and patients react? How supportive or unsupportive were they?

For those of you that do not have any direct experience, how do you think that you and your team would feel about it if it was one of yours that came out and began transitioning? How would you like the person to go about things to make you feel more comfortable with it? I am looking for a realistic picture, not just reassurances. I really want to know the truth as transitioning while in a job seems like the scariest thing next to explaining this to my religious parents.

I would be very interested in your advice! And I have to say, from the authority with which you speak, I am now dying to hear your experiences with this! I will PM you.

I am completely prepared for everything you said except for the hurtful comments with bad intentions part. I don't know how one prepares for that, and unfortunately, it is the part that obviously scares me the most. I am a realist, I know this will be discussed behind my back quite a bit, but what can you do? That happens to a lot of people for a lot of things. I cant stop it, so i will just have to accept it. If the person does not have ill intentions, I would be willing to endure any questions, honest mistakes or education processes. I am sure I would be curious too if it were not me.

Another surprising thing that I am now coming to terms with is giving up the privilege I have enjoyed for most of my life. I am currently a healthy white educated male who is reasonably attractive. I know transgender people and women have a lot tougher lives in our society. I don't know what it is like to be treated like the "other"; I have heard many honest/unsuspecting opinions about transgender people from my colleagues, family and friends so I know that is what I will instantly become. If I do this, I will also suddenly become one of the most likely targets for violence in our society. I have never had to worry about my safety before. At worst, I know I will endure the potential hate/violence/discrimination of being transgender for the rest of my life, at best, if I am lucky enough to be passable, I will have to endure the potential violence/discrimination/condescencion that women face. There is not a whole lot of upside to this except for the possibility of finally finding inner peace.

And for the people painting rosey pictures of, "It's your personal business, no one will care..." well, that's BS. Gender is not personal business. It is very public business. Even in extremely well educated and accepting environments, you will be under the tremendous burden of having to educate everyone on what transition is and how people should treat you. .

I don't think anyone is trying to "paint a rosey picture"....The truth is, people in the world do exist who simply respect your right as a human being to live as you wish to..... without judging you as harshly as you seem to think. Do you honestly believe that non-judgemental acceptance from others is always "BS" ?

Feeling the responsibility to "educate everyone on what transition is and how people should treat you" is a heavy burden to carry indeed, when "everyone", ultimately, is going to continue think what they think, and continue to do what they do. Unless you have been able to open a few minds and knock back a few walls, that is. I send you all my good wishes .

Never heard of it

For the record there have been transgender nurses going back years now. If you worked in a major urban area such as New York City, Miami, San Francisco, etc.. you may have run into one or two (but may not have know it).

Both as students and professional nurses they ranged the gamut from gorgeous women you would never suspect, to someone you just have a feeling *something* is odd but you cannot (or can) figure things out.

As in the corporate world many such nurses worked under "stealth" that is passing as female with enough ID to make living as a woman possible. However now and then things would go *wrong*.

You'd get an "old school" male patient requesting another nurse instead of "him". Or, female patients refusing to be cared for by *him", and requesting same. Each time there would be scratching of heads as to who "he" was as the nurse assigned was/is female (far as the hospital is concerned). If things were cool such things were water off a duck's back, however if there was opposition from other staff (who could be nearly always 100% female), once the secret was out, normally it was only a matter of time before said nurse was history.

We're speaking of the 1980's and 1990's when male nurses were still a rarity. This usually meant nurse locker rooms and so forth were mostly female. Right or wrong many old school nurses were *NOT* going to share their bathrooms and so forth with a "man".

There is not a whole lot of upside to this except for the possibility of finally finding inner peace.

I hope with all my heart that you find that! You are amazing. ( I think the word "amazing" is frequently overused nowadays, but YOU ARE!) A true inspiration. Good luck to you, Kaley1 !

That is so sweet, it made me tear up :) I don't know what I did or said to deserve that, but you just made my day! Thank you :)

That is so sweet, it made me tear up :) I don't know what I did or said to deserve that, but you just made my day! Thank you :)

Oh, I could go on and on.....about your intelligence and compassion and your ability to accept (and understand) the opinions of others....even when those "others" don't extend the same courtesy to you. But I'll just say "you are welcome!" and send you a big giant hug instead .

Specializes in ICU.

This was an eye opener. I didn't know that there were medical professionals who would judge, invade the privacy of or discriminate against someone based on sexual orientation. Is this a regional thing? Wow just wow.

Specializes in Pediatrics, PICU, tele.

Hey kaley,

I'm not able to send PMs for some reason, but I did receive your message. Can you PM me an email address and I'll email you? Wrote a long letter but it's saying my account doesn't have enough posts or something and my messaging is disabled.

Specializes in Pediatrics, High-Risk L&D, Antepartum, L.
I am completely prepared for everything you said except for the hurtful comments with bad intentions part. I don't know how one prepares for that, and unfortunately, it is the part that obviously scares me the most. I am a realist, I know this will be discussed behind my back quite a bit, but what can you do? That happens to a lot of people for a lot of things. I cant stop it, so i will just have to accept it. If the person does not have ill intentions, I would be willing to endure any questions, honest mistakes or education processes. I am sure I would be curious too if it were not me.

Another surprising thing that I am now coming to terms with is giving up the privilege I have enjoyed for most of my life. I am currently a healthy white educated male who is reasonably attractive. I know transgender people and women have a lot tougher lives in our society. I don't know what it is like to be treated like the "other"; I have heard many honest/unsuspecting opinions about transgender people from my colleagues, family and friends so I know that is what I will instantly become. If I do this, I will also suddenly become one of the most likely targets for violence in our society. I have never had to worry about my safety before. At worst, I know I will endure the potential hate/violence/discrimination of being transgender for the rest of my life, at best, if I am lucky enough to be passable, I will have to endure the potential violence/discrimination/condescencion that women face. There is not a whole lot of upside to this except for the possibility of finally finding inner peace.

My heart goes out to you and all those who are faced with this. You should live the life that makes you happy...and everyone else should just be happy you are happy.

I truly hope that you are able to live without fear. I hope that the inner peace you deserve is found...along with.a beautiful accepting world around you to go along with it.

You have made the choice to become a nurse.

You have made the decision to change your gender.

They are both difficult endeavors. You do not require validation.. you are strong enough to succeed on your own merits.

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