Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 43

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   Virgo_RN
    GO HOME!!!!! You are driving me insane!!!!!
  2. by   Virgo_RN
    That reminds me. These people tonight, family members of course, who brought their toddler and infant to visit Grandma....asked me "Where is the child room?".

    Me: "Child room?".

    Them: "Yeah, the room where they have all the toys and stuff for the kids.".

    After I mentally picked my jaw up off the floor, I replied: "The waiting room is that way (pointing in the direction of the waiting room), maybe they have some toys or something in there.".

    Child room???!!!??? You've got to be freakin kidding me! This is a hospital, a CARDIAC floor, no less. Child room??????

    I didn't get the memo that we had a child room.
  3. by   rph3664
    Quote from Virgo_RN
    That reminds me. These people tonight, family members of course, who brought their toddler and infant to visit Grandma....asked me "Where is the child room?".

    Me: "Child room?".

    Them: "Yeah, the room where they have all the toys and stuff for the kids.".

    After I mentally picked my jaw up off the floor, I replied: "The waiting room is that way (pointing in the direction of the waiting room), maybe they have some toys or something in there.".

    Child room???!!!??? You've got to be freakin kidding me! This is a hospital, a CARDIAC floor, no less. Child room??????

    I didn't get the memo that we had a child room.
    There may be hospitals that have things like this - in the peds unit, of course. Or maybe their whole experience with hospitals is what they have seen on television. I once had a neighbor who, when I told him I worked at the hospital, said "EWWWW!" and I wondered what he meant.

    He had never set foot in a hospital since he was discharged as a newborn, not even to visit anybody, and he thought the whole inside of a hospital looked like the TV show "ER". I replied that the ER looks like "ER" and then only sometimes, because most of the time it looks more like a doctor's office.

    :chuckle

    There's a post somewhere about a family member who wanted to know where the gym was. Not a dumb question - the hospital where I work has one. It's free for employees; anyone else has to pay an annual fee. Maybe that person saw the gym while going to the snack bar or whatever, and wondered if it was available to visitors.

    The gym is also used for cardiac and pulmonary rehab.
  4. by   AngelfireRN
    "If you don't take your seizure meds, don't blame us when you have a freakin' SEIZURE!!!!!!"

    Had one yesterday who was d/ced from the ER, stable, and had a second seizure as he was getting in the car. The family knew me, and was in the process of ripping the doc a new one for d/cing him when I asked "Well, hasn't he been off his meds for a while?"

    "Yes, but, yes, but, yes, but........."

    Oh, boy. That opened the floodgate, he's been sitting up with his daddy who's dying up on 3rd floor, he's been up all night, we're supposed to fix him.......

    Yes, but nothing. Take the blasted meds and stop with the excuses. You did it to yourself, so stop blaming everyone else.


    Oh, and how about: "Can you PLEASE get us someone who KNOWS something about this patient?"

    Did say that. Lady presents with a FSBS of 24. The so-called daughter that was with her said that she was on "pills and shots" for DM. She did not live with her, but stated that the people who did were in the lobby. As she was just a fount of knowledge, (could not even tell us if Mama had eaten last night) we asked her to please go get them. She was gone for 10 minutes. The lobby was 5 feet away. When she finally ambled back in, she had another girl with her that I vaguely knew, and the same girl said, "She USUALLY eats real well."

    "No, hon, we need to know if she ate last night."

    "Oh, well, she don't live with her, either."



    "OK, is there someone available that DOES live with her that CAN tell us what this lady did last night or this morning?"

    "Yeah, but they're scattered all over"

    "Can you call them?"

    "Sure, I can call them." Proceeds to stand there with her teeth in her mouth and a not-too-bright expression.

    "NOW?"

    "Oh!"

    Doc and I left the room and just looked at each other. There weren't even words for after a conversation like that.

    Angelfire, who had waaaaay too many patients and families that overdosed on stupid yesterday.
    (The doc did say that if the NP thing does not pan out, I could go for politics, since I know everybody in the county. We had to abandon the whole, "Don't treat who you know" premise, or I'd never see a patient)
  5. by   tntrn
    Maybe someone already did this one, or maybe I already did

    "you know this isn't the Hilton? If you want Room Service, that's where you should go. And it's probably cheaper than here. But gotta warn you, they don't take Medical Coupons."

    Yeah, that's what I like to say---sometimes.
  6. by   RNDreamer
    "You are an adult. Start acting like one or I will ask the nurse to recommend that you be place in the pediatric unit"

    "If I were you, I would be highly embarassed at the behavior being displayed by your visitors"
  7. by   CseMgr1
    I did say this to a home health patient who began cursing me after I asked him to start participating in his care:

    "If you don't get rid of this ***CENSORED*** attitude of yours, you're NEVER going to get better, OK?"

    His jaw just dropped and he didn't say another word to me during the remainder of the visit.

    I left his home not caring whether he reported me or not.

    A few days later, I arrived to find him waiting for me with a small box in his hand. "Here", he said, and handed it to me. I opened it, to find a "Precious Moments" porcelain bell painted with the little "nurse" about to give a shot to a crying bear's bottom.

    I almost lost it.

    "You didn't have to do this", I said, when I finally found my voice.

    "Yes, I did", was his immediate reply.

    It was his way of saying that he was sorry. He never cursed me again. More importantly, he began participating in his care and did get better.

    That bell is sitting atop my entertainment center years later...and a fond reminder of ONE difference I was able to make in a patients' life...by giving it right back to him.
  8. by   EarthChild1130
    1. If I tell you that Lamictal can cause a FATAL SERIOUS rash and that you should call me RIGHT away if you get a rash, don't leave a message on my phone over the weekend that says 'Uh, I've had this rash for the past week, since I started that Lamictal...it's all over my chest and arms...'

    2. Don't call me every couple of days to tell me that you spilled toothpaste on the meds that I put in your weekly box...that's a good way to guarantee that you'll be put on the 'daily pill pass' roll. Funny how the 'toothpaste' got on everything but Ativan.

    3. White-out on a hand-written prescription for Adderall looks really funny, and the pharmacist is one smart dude...you can bet your butt he'll call me about that one. And no, we don't usually prescribe 'Adderall 30mg 1 po 6 times daily as needed, quantity 180 + 1 refill'...would make for an interesting day though.

    4. Don't say 'I don't know how that got there' when I show you a urine drug screen that's positive for benzos. You KNOW how that got there...and so do I.

    5. On the same note, don't say 'I don't know where they went, I was taking them' if I show you a urine drug screen that's clean and you're prescribed clonazepam three times daily. Your case manager caught you selling the pills to another patient at the homeless shelter...I'm about to cut into your spending money BIG TIME...no more clonazepam for YOU since you obviously don't need them anyhow!

    Wait...I have actually SAID this to people!
  9. by   talaxandra
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    "If you don't take your seizure meds, don't blame us when you have a freakin' SEIZURE!!!!!!"
    When you don't take insulin, don't blame us for the DKA admission - or the hourly jabs, or the double IVs.

    When you don't take your anti-rejection meds, it's not the fault of the transplant surgeons that you reject the organ. No, it isn't. No, it really isn't. I did hear you - and no, it isn't.

    If you decide to treat HIV with accupuncture (and nothing else), don't be surprised when you get an AIDS-defining illness.

    If you decide to take Warfarin based on the colour you feel drawn to, rather than the actual prescribed dose based on your INR, don't be shocked when you stroke out or if you bleed into your spinal cord and end up a paraplegic.
  10. by   canoehead
    Quote from talaxandra
    When you don't take your anti-rejection meds, it's not the fault of the transplant surgeons that you reject the organ. No, it isn't. No, it really isn't. I did hear you - and no, it isn't.



    No, it isn't. No, it really isn't. No, it isn't. No, it really isn't. I did hear you - and no, it isn't.

    No, it isn't. No, it really isn't. No, it isn't. No, it really isn't. I did hear you - and no, it isn't.

    'I don't know how that got there'


    I smell the makings of a nurse-rap. Anyone around here got a mixer??
  11. by   southernbeegirl
    To the sister of the lady with necrotic leg ulcers that is probably going to be amputated and the sister calls and yells daily "you better not give her morphine or there will be hell to pay!!!"

    yeah ok...put a rubber band around your leg real tight, leave it there for a week and then call and let me know if it hurts, k?
  12. by   rph3664
    Quote from EarthChild1130
    2. Don't call me every couple of days to tell me that you spilled toothpaste on the meds that I put in your weekly box...that's a good way to guarantee that you'll be put on the 'daily pill pass' roll. Funny how the 'toothpaste' got on everything but Ativan.

    3. White-out on a hand-written prescription for Adderall looks really funny, and the pharmacist is one smart dude...you can bet your butt he'll call me about that one. And no, we don't usually prescribe 'Adderall 30mg 1 po 6 times daily as needed, quantity 180 + 1 refill'...would make for an interesting day though.

    4. Don't say 'I don't know how that got there' when I show you a urine drug screen that's positive for benzos. You KNOW how that got there...and so do I.

    5. On the same note, don't say 'I don't know where they went, I was taking them' if I show you a urine drug screen that's clean and you're prescribed clonazepam three times daily. Your case manager caught you selling the pills to another patient at the homeless shelter...I'm about to cut into your spending money BIG TIME...no more clonazepam for YOU since you obviously don't need them anyhow!

    Wait...I have actually SAID this to people!
    Try being a pharmacist in a store where the director - who is not a pharmacist - has declared that telling someone not to come back, for any reason, is a firing offense.

  13. by   EarthChild1130
    Quote from rph3664
    Try being a pharmacist in a store where the director - who is not a pharmacist - has declared that telling someone not to come back, for any reason, is a firing offense.

    OMG...here, I'll do this with you...

    And to you, I will

    And then we'll go get a

    And watch our patients do this: :lol_hitti

    LOLOL!!! Pharmacist buddy, you rock!

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