The nurses every co-worker hates - page 4

by RNGriffin | 8,420 Views | 59 Comments

I don't know exactly how the context of this message will be articulated, but I am interested in gaining knowledge on the topic & opinions. So, I am a seasoned nurse, not that it should make any difference in the haul of this... Read More


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    Im curious.Are you male or female?I couldnt tell by your comment and am not trying to be rude,but I will tell you that as a male our voice inflection and attitude can be misconstrued.Your posture,how you hold your hands and many other things can irritate many people nomatter if your m/f.Im truly sorry you are going through something such as this.Im sure you are about the job and are a very good nurse.Maybe just lighten up and smile occasionally.Approach others first with assistance and dont talk down to anyone-ever.Good luck with your issue and as intelligent as you seem you will figure this one out.
    RNGriffin likes this.
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    It sounds like you have an insecure little pot stirrer in your midst.

    Ask your manager to set up a meeting with the person or people who find you to be mean and rude.

    Tell her you want to clear the air because good work relationships are very important.

    I'll bet the complainer is someone with no life outside of work who is jealous of your achievements.
    anotherone, joanna73, and RNGriffin like this.
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    I think the small talk helps no matter how much you may not like looking at pics of vacation, new babies, weddings, puppies, etc, they are important to your coworker. It only takes a few seconds to ohh and ahhh over pics. I may not always be very interested, but I always ask because I know it means a lot to my coworker. Even nurses could use a bit of nursing sometimes.
    monkeybug, Aurora77, and RNGriffin like this.
  4. 0
    I found that bringing fattening foods such as cupcakes and cookeis helps soften up co-workers too.
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    This may sound counterintuitive to you, but try asking your coworkers to help you occasionally. Not all the time, just once in a while, "Can you show me how you do this procedure?", or "Which way do you think works better?" or even "How do you get the computer to do this?".
    People like to feel knowlegeable, helpful and by asking them you are acknowledging their competence.
    Doesn't even have to be directly work related. I've had the aide at work helping me with the functions on my cell phone while on lunch break. Sure, I could sit down and puzzle it out from the instruction manual, but again, people like to feel helpful.
    wooh and joanna73 like this.
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    Early in my career as a manager, I was informed that some people thought I was cold to them. Coworkers, not customers. While this wasn't exactly true, I realized that perception is reality. So since then, which was years ago, I learned to play the politics, to favourable reviews. Sometimes you have to engage your coworkers, as much as you may not want to, in order to keep the peace. I am an extrovert. I will often speak my mind, and I go to work to work. Work is work, home is home. I keep the two separate, and quite frankly, I could care less what my coworkers did on their day off, nor do I want to engage in the workplace drama. As a result, people like myself can be perceived as cold where coworkers are concerned. However, I am more than willing to lend someone a hand.
  7. 2
    Quote from griffinchet
    A troubling statement came when a manager used the terms "Mean & Rude" to describe my personality today. From another perspective I would like to gain knowledge on how to be more approachable without being the doormat.
    There is a wide, wide gulf between "Mean & Rude" and "doormat". It doesn't have to be one or the other. Find a spot in the middle.

    I'm going to be honest and say that I despise giving report to nurses that pull the "no side banter in report, or no unnecessary information needed while giving background information" routine. Luckily, we only have 2 of them in our unit.
    chevyv and wooh like this.
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    I've had the same problem since around Jr. High. I'm usually passive, helpful...a pleaser. I do lose my temper at times though if provoked. I'm constantly talked about and gone after by the other nurses. I thought it would have ended in high school, but I'm 38 years old and an R.N. I only seem to have female haters though. I constantly have to watch my P's and Q's and make sure all my I's are dotted and T's crossed because any mistake I make will be reported and talked about. It's exhausting and impossible to be perfect all the time. Even though I find mistakes other people make all the time, I don't go out of my way to get that nurse in trouble. I don't understand it myself, so I have no advice to give you. Our situations are different yet the same. I've tried to make friends with the other nurses. Then I tried minding my own business. Next I tried telling everyone off that crossed me thinking maybe I'm just too nice to people. Nothing so far has worked. I don't have female friends, but the nurses I am friendlier with, I have asked them to be honest with me and tell me the issue is. I've been told over and over again that they have no idea. They don't see a problem with me at all, then the next day they do the same to me that everyone else does. After a while, I just figured there is something wrong with me. Maybe a character flaw? I honestly have no idea. Best of luck to you.
    anotherone likes this.
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    I am not a working nurse yet....(still looking for a job.) I would never label myself mean or rude.. I sound more like you described - agreeable, passive. I guess some people find my shy nature to be too serious or cold. Therefore, I have felt like an outcast all of my life. So, even if you are "agreeable" or "soft-spoken" it doesn't mean you are well liked by any means. So, someone from the other end of the spectrum can understand your feelings.

    I have worked in a retail job for almost 5 years, so I interact with customers and coworkers almost daily. Here are just a few simple tricks that work:

    -Say "hello" or "good morning" If possible, say the person's name. "Good morning, Sheila." "Hi Ann." People love to hear their names - more personable?
    -Compliment someone. Make sure that you truly like something, though - a new haircut, a watch, a way of doing some task, etc. If it is forced, people will pick up on it. This took me awhile to do, but it really is so simple and it brightens someone's day.
    -If you have any down time, ask someone if they need help with anything, especially if you see they are struggling or having a bad day.
    -Before report, say "How was your weekend?" Or something along those lines. (I do admire that you keep patient gossip out of the report, but asking a general question about the person you are talking with can't hurt.)
    -Ask advice/explanation on something. I guess this sort of goes along with the compliment thing. As a seasoned nurse, I am sure you know tons of stuff. But have you witnessed a new nurse do something in a way that you found interesting/admirable/exciting/clever? If so, you can say something like "Wow. I never thought about doing it that way." Or, "That was neat. How did you think of doing it that way?" Or if it's a new gadget, "Where did you get your stethoscope?"
    -If your workplace does any volunteering, sign up and join your coworkers for a day.

    These pointers really only take seconds, but they will be well received. You still are doing an efficient job, you still being an attentive nurse, but you are also engaging with coworkers to provide for a great atmosphere.
    wooh and libbyliberal like this.
  10. 3
    You could always do the Hello Kitty scrubs or lanyard (at least), or wear those stupid holiday or seasonal overly large and loud earings. LOL. You'd get the "she's friendly but also probably has a big doll collection at home" impression. So, it's all a lie, (LOL) but at least you could avoid all the chit chat, if people think you are a most likely the friendly lunatic-type who probably wants to just talk about her doll collection, then naturally they'll leave you alone because nobody wants to hear about your dolls (this is true about at home dog breeders "I dress my pets in little people outfits and show them or take pictures of them" types too. You'd have to instead wear doggie scrubs, etc...) , but you'll retain the "nicey-nice" person impression.

    See, there is a way out!!!!


    Edit: truth! Used to work with someone who I would avoid walking out with due to the fact that she would often show me a several hundred dollar doll she had picked up from UPS and put in her trunk on the way to work. I had to oooh and awww appropriately and hear about all that one too many times. I always considered her "friendly" but geeeez-us I gave up my Malibu Barbi when I was 12.


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