Necessary to socalize with doctors?

MrChicagoRN, RN · Oct 3, 2016

Yes, start greeting people by name when you see them. Why wouldn't you say hello to someone?

caliotter3 · Oct 3, 2016

If you have noticed that the doctors are avoiding you, although they should not when it involves your patients, it is probably a sign that you should change your behavior. Try a smile and quick hello and see if things don't improve.

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 3, 2016

There have been times when I did not get along with multiple people and my sister reminded me of a simple thing. If this happens, look at the common denominator. Yea, that would be me. Maybe you should do the same?

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Oct 11, 2016

A more senior nurse stated that I was "cold" around some of the doctors. If they're sitting down I don't say hello, when I ask about a patient I don't start with a "Hi Dr.__ How are you?" I usually say "Hi Dr.__ I have your patient...."

In other words, you do not speak to the doctors unless you specifically want something from them. The doctors are probably aware of this, and therefore, view you in a negative light because of it.

Generally, if you speak to people only when you need something out of them, it feels as if you are using them. People want to be validated, and the easiest way to do is is by greeting them.

To some individuals, being ignored is the worst blow imaginable. If you insult someone or mock him, at least you acknowledged his presence. However, ignoring someone by not saying hello unless you need or want something comes across as very unsettling to many people.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Oct 11, 2016

I don't start with a "Hi Dr.__ How are you?" I usually say "Hi Dr.__ I have your patient...."

Completely agree. "how are you" is a social greeting, not a professional one. You will get to know the docs, and they will get to know you .. in due time.

I work from home, my communication is ALL over the phone. I NEVER ask a doctor how they are. It is a social banality that has no place in the communication. I know all of the doctors I work with, they do not want to be bothered to say " I am fine, thank you, how are you".

On the other side, when I make a call to case managers, and I get.. Oh Hi, BTDT.. how are you?.. it is nothing but irritating as, how I am means diddly squat. During the course of the conversation... we get to know each other and all is good.

When you overhear doctors asking other nurses about YOUR patients, plant yourself between them and answer the questions.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Oct 11, 2016

In other words, you do not speak to the doctors unless you specifically want something from them. The doctors are probably aware of this, and therefore, view you in a negative light because of it.
Generally, if you speak to people only when you need something out of them, it feels as if you are using them. People want to be validated, and the easiest way to do is is by greeting them.
To some individuals, being ignored is the worst blow imaginable. If you insult someone or mock him, at least you acknowledged his presence. However, ignoring someone by not saying hello unless you need or want something comes across as very unsettling to many people.

" I don't start with a "Hi Dr.__ How are you?" I usually say "Hi Dr.__ I have your patient...."

OP says hello.. and then gets down to business. Highly doubt any doctor has " a worst blow imaginable".

allnurses Guide · Oct 13, 2016

I don't socialize with doctors either.

I used to work at a hospital, where nurses would socialize with the doctors. One of our charge nurses liked to act really buddy-buddy with our general surgeon; the same surgeon that tore me a new one at the nurses station in front of everyone, when I was a brand new nurse.

I don't actually think there is anything WRONG with being friendly... Certainly nothing wrong with saying "hi Dr Jones, how are you today?", instead of just launching straight into "I have this patient and this is what is wrong...". Doctors are people too and I think they respect a nurse who acts like a human around them.

I'm just saying that, as a general rule, doctors kinda intimidate me and I don't go out of my way to buddy up with them. I do like our hospitalist, who reminds me of a surfer dude, just a little LOL.

chare · Oct 13, 2016

And yet, how many nurses eat their youngâ€ or I'm being bullied or picked onâ€ threads have we seen, all because of this same lack of common courtesy when being addressed by the author's peers?

CalArmy · Oct 13, 2016

A doctor can be a great resource and friend. I love getting to know residents and fellows and learning from them. Take some time to just BS with them.

Julius Seizure · Oct 15, 2016

I was (well, am) much the same as you....I dont really like striking up random conversation, I don't really care to go out of my way make 'friends' with my coworkers. I am kind of a private, awkward person.

Are you at a teaching hospital? They seem to have more of this friendliness than non-teaching hospitals.

Anyway, it doesn't come naturally to me, but I make a point to acknowledge the doctors (and everyone else) with a smile when I pass them in the halls. I try to greet people with a "hello" or "good morning", at least when I first see them in the morning (saying it every single time we cross paths for 12 hours seems excessive). I don't tend to get into long, casual conversations with them - certainly not about my personal life. If a group of people are chatting at the desk, I might stay on the periphery and seem interested, but not actively engage in the conversation.

Just try to make it a point to seem pleasant and like you enjoy your coworkers, rather than appearing to prefer that nobody was around you. (Not meant as an offense to you - I just mean that my default would be to keep my head down and not engage with others! I'm pretty ultra-introverted!)

Now, I also know some nurses that go out drinking with the (married) attending on Friday nights - I wouldn't suggest going that far

Double-Helix, BSN, RN · Oct 16, 2016

Because you're a new nurse, the majority of your focus is (and should) be on your patient care. Sometimes, bridging the gap between physician and nurse feels awkward and uncomfortable, as the nurse can have a feeling of "inferiority", and not want to "bother" the physicians. This feeling can be intrinsic, or motivated by the culture or actions where you work. I suggest trying to identify why you don't feel comfortable greeting or making small talk with the doctors at your workplace.

I work in a very camaraderous unit, physicians and nurses included, but there are a few staff members who are more reserved and don't join in during the social conversations. It may just not be their nature, or they may be focused on a task at the time, that's just fine. However, there is a difference between socializing and being polite. Simply saying "Good morning, Dr. X. How are you today?" can go a long way toward improving your working relationship with these physicians. I promise you, it won't lead to a lengthy random conversation. 99.9% of the time, "How are you?" is asked simply out of perfunctory politeness. The answer doesn't really matter.