Instant Gratification - page 3

by jadelpn 9,091 Views | 54 Comments Guide

Indulge me for a moment. Back in the day, nothing was instant but coffee. There was a waiting game for almost every aspect of life. It set people up to have a number of anticipatory feelings. Anticipation is a unusual concept... Read More


  1. 1
    jadelpn, now you are in the line of fire. Welcome to the "Rock the Boat" club.
    jadelpn likes this.
  2. 1
    Quote from wish_me_luck
    That was not me wailing about NCLEX. I knew mine could take longer than normal, and it did...a couple days longer. I got word from the BON staff themselves because I asked and it was a hold up because of HPMP. I know, not everyone else's circumstances.

    Psychology offices. Yeah, I get that comment. Enough said. I agree with you on that. I actually was not entitled growing up. My parents did the thing where chores were "x" amount of money (say like $.50 for task "x") The more work I did, the more I earned. It was not real money, just if I wanted a toy that cost $10, I earned the money (written on paper, of course) and then when I had enough earned, my mom bought the toy. If I didn't want to do a certain chore (I was not keen on cleaning bathrooms; before anyone says anything, I have PCT exp and have wiped behinds before--I am fine with it. Just because I do not like cleaning toilets does not mean I would suck at nursing), then I could also do worksheets (math, spelling, etc.) for $.10 a page. I ended up excelling in grade school because of it. My mom also took my brother and I to work when she worked as a DON at a nursing home. We had to get the drink orders and pick up trays and such when the residents ate. It helped with the tasks and the elderly people loved us (we were kids then--elementary school age). So, not all 20 somethings got everything given to them.

    I actually see more of that in teens and grade school kids now than I saw it in 20 somethings. I guess it is Generation Z. The kids of Gen. X. Generation Y (and some Gen. X) are kids of Baby Boomers.
    She was talking about the various posts from the ever riddled anxiety on AN; the posts from bent out of shape people who get mad because they are "glowing" with 3.7s or 4.0s yet got "passed over the person with a 3.0 or less"-with years of healthcare experience or was in the community, worked or other tangibles that did well on their entrance exam that evened out and got in instead of them, lol. Also what you speak of is those attachment disorder kids; patent who do that "helicopter" patenting. Not necessarily related to across the board for this or future generations either.
    jadelpn likes this.
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    Thanks, Lady. As always, you are the buffer of the situation. I mean that in a nice way. I hope the AN people eventually make you a guide.
  4. 4
    Quote from GrnTea
    I read an interesting paper about mid-20s folks currently flooding psychology offices with vague disquiet and feelings of incompetence, like they don't know why they don't feel better about themselves. The author, a psychologist, concluded that they had always been "validated" and praised for meeting normal requirements, always been sheltered from failure, always had obstructions removed from their paths, and now they found that they had no experience in overcoming adversity or learning from failure. Thus they felt adrift, at sea, not really sure what to do, and afraid to try. Is this what we have to look forward to caring for us when we are old(er)?
    Here are a few more tantalizing thoughts from mental health professionals about the topic of failing to launch into adulthood. They blame the phenomenon on smothering parents who intervened too much during their kids' childhoods to solve all of their children's problems for them. The helicopter parenting and over-protection has stunted the problem-solving skills of many of today's young adults.

    Why So Many Adult Kids Still Live with Their Parents

    Sadly, during childhood and adolescence, the primary coping skill many kids have learned is to simply go to their parents when there’s a problem. When they enter adulthood and mom or dad isn’t there to fix things, they don’t know what to do. They come back to the one coping skill they’ve learned: go to the parent to solve the problem for them. Many remain at home, sitting on parents’ couches or sleeping in, rather than moving out. Their parents step in and pay rent and utilities, buy their food or pay their insurance. This can go on into their twenties, thirties and even longer.
    Over time, our kids have stopped learning to solve problems and entertain themselves because adults are quick to jump in and fix things for them. It’s done out of love and with the best of intentions, but over time we’ve gone from caring for our children, to caretaking. “Caretaking” is anything we do for our children that they can do for themselves. It means fixing or solving a problem for your child rather than teaching or showing him how to do so himself.
    We want our loved ones, especially our children, to be happy and healthy. But over time an unhealthy caretaking cycle can develop: the child experiences stress/struggles; they go to the parent; the parent intervenes, fixing or resolving the situation; the child learns to look outside himself for coping skills, in the form of the parent. And so the cycle goes on into adulthood.
    FMF Corpsman, GrnTea, VivaLasViejas, and 1 other like this.
  5. 2
    Quote from anabellatx1
    You said "Newer nurses have always had instant gratification. The thought of waiting is not in their mindset, therefore, the level of frustration goes up when their nursing practice doesn't reflect this concept." How dare you generalized a group like that?! You obviously don't know how to refer to people in general. I'm an immigrant in the US, worked for 10 years to save money to start nursing school, paid my own way through nursing school, and thanks to God's mercy I'm a RN now. I know what waiting is, so for you to just write this stuff is very disrespectful to say the least. You need to use words like "most nurses" or "some nurses". I'm trying to understand why you posted this kind of comment... Next time be more careful.
    Instant gratification can be attributed to circumstances, background, etc; it's not exclusive to generation, either. If anything the OP had a point to a specific number of individuals that handle situations like the OP stated; that DOES occur. I'm sure it wasn't personal; "newer nurses" are of various ages, and they can exhibit those behaviors; the "younger generation" certainly has not have that locked down; for those who are younger exhibit said behaviors, who did they get it from?

    As for your accomplishments anabellatx1, they are very commendable, but the OP was really not going down that path. No one can make you inferior without your consent (Eleanor Roosevelt)
    DizzyLizzyNurse and jadelpn like this.
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    Quote from wish_me_luck
    Thanks, Lady. As always, you are the buffer of the situation. I mean that in a nice way. I hope the AN people eventually make you a guide.
    Aw, thanks Wish!
  7. 5
    Quote from GrnTea


    I hatehatehate the bazillions of posts I see here with the wailing about having to wait a whole extra DAY for NCLEX results, for people not being able to get the nursing program to pass someone with a below-the-line GPA because it's their passsssssioooonnnn to be nurses and all their friends says what awwwweeessssoommmmme nurses they will be, and how when they get those new grad jobs how mean everyone is to them because they criticize their performance. For folks who seem to spend a lot of time looking in the mirror they don't seem to have a clue about what they're all about.

    I read an interesting paper about mid-20s folks currently flooding psychology offices with vague disquiet and feelings of incompetence, like they don't know why they don't feel better about themselves. The author, a psychologist, concluded that they had always been "validated" and praised for meeting normal requirements, always been sheltered from failure, always had obstructions removed from their paths, and now they found that they had no experience in overcoming adversity or learning from failure. Thus they felt adrift, at sea, not really sure what to do, and afraid to try. Is this what we have to look forward to caring for us when we are old(er)?
    Just another shinning example of why I agree with a lot of what you say. This right here gets so old. I wouldnt even go so far as to say it is the instant gratification age as it is the entitled age. Drives me insane.
  8. 2
    I don't really look at these articles as any sort of scholarly piece of writing. I think of them more as op-ed or blog posts. A topic like this would require research. That's why I take them with a grain of salt.
    SoldierNurse22 and anabellatx1 like this.
  9. 1
    Quote from anabellatx1
    You said "Newer nurses have always had instant gratification. The thought of waiting is not in their mindset, therefore, the level of frustration goes up when their nursing practice doesn't reflect this concept." How dare you generalized a group like that?! You obviously don't know how to refer to people in general. I'm an immigrant in the US, worked for 10 years to save money to start nursing school, paid my own way through nursing school, and thanks to God's mercy I'm a RN now. I know what waiting is, so for you to just write this stuff is very disrespectful to say the least. You need to use words like "most nurses" or "some nurses". I'm trying to understand why you posted this kind of comment... Next time be more careful.
    Then there's a cultural difference in how some may have been raised. Case in point--there are a number (number) not ALL (which is why I usually refer to "some or most" nurses--nothing is ever "all"--and by newer nurses I am specific to generation without sounding ignorant to age) nurses who are way in debt (or their parents are) from student loans for nursing school. Instant gratification with little thought of consequences. Too tied up with "extracurriculars" to get a job (because you NEED them to get into college, so say they) so no sense of saving and acquiring things that one can afford with no foresight.

    I worked my butt off since the age of 14--as most in my generation did. It was expected that my parents would not (and should not) have to pay my way (again, common in my generation). The choices I made reflect the fact that my priorities are different than some other person's may be. On the contrary, a multitude of my kid's friends are being financed by a "fund" for college, and can happily hang at Mom and Dads should they not find a job right away after college. And/or they work their butts off as nurses, only to pay loans. The idea of working to save and then to pay their way through school can be based on generational concepts. And you have noted sometimes culture. Would you ever thing of asking your parents to finance you? Perhaps not, however, this is a huge thing with the younger generation. Does it make them any less a nurse? Of course not. However, different mindsets need to meld somehow. You have got to look at where someone's coming from in order to create an effective team.

    And the instant gratification is the information highway at its best. The concept of full picture of a patient's condition is made in part by instant information. "Observation" can make some younger nurses nervous. That is not downing this idea, but there's a frenzy that is not always present with more seasoned nurses. Case in point--the multiple, multiple threads on here about having to wait for the results of anything. The multiple, multiple threads on "older nurses being mean" when in fact older nurses can just be seasoned to use observation as a viable nursing tool.

    My articles are meant for lively debate, not to be disrespectful to anyone. My appologies to any offense.
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
  10. 4
    Quote from wish_me_luck
    jadelpn, now you are in the line of fire. Welcome to the "Rock the Boat" club.
    Hey, if I didn't rock the boat, I wouldn't be able to try out my sea legs!
    FMF Corpsman, GrnTea, VivaLasViejas, and 1 other like this.


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