Are married women bullied less at work? - page 5

Are women who are married less likely to be bullied than a single woman with no kids??... Read More

  1. by   Rose_Queen
    Quote from kungpoopanda
    Bullying is entrenched in the education and socialisation of nurses. It is passed down from generation to generation of nurses. You only have to look at the power of the self titled "crusty old bats" and the future "crusty old bats" to see this.
    Back story to the crusty old bats/future crusty old bats- started with a new nurse referring to experienced nurses as such. Instead of being intimidated by it, we claimed it and turned it into an inside joke.

    Edit: Found the old thread- Bitter dried up nurses that need to RETIRE
    Last edit by Rose_Queen on May 17, '14
  2. by   ixchel
    Quote from kungpoopanda
    Bullying is entrenched in the education and socialisation of nurses. It is passed down from generation to generation of nurses. You only have to look at the power of the self titled "crusty old bats" and the future "crusty old bats" to see this.
    A crusty old bat is a knowledgable person who doesn't sugar coat what they are saying. They offer support when a situation warrants it. They aren't afraid to respond to a person with the truth, as opposed to telling a person what they want to hear just to make them feel better. Maybe they screw up in the delivery, but again, this is not bullying. This is a person choosing to not add smileys and "sweeties", while they aim to prevent bigger problems in the future that come from being nice over being honest.
  3. by   ixchel
    Quote from Rose_Queen
    Back story to the crusty old bats/future crusty old bats- started with a new nurse referring to experienced nurses as such. Instead of being intimidated by it, we claimed it and turned it into an inside joke.
    You guys did a terrible job keeping that whole thing "inside". 😂 Unless somehow I was actually there when that whole thing started and didn't realize it???
  4. by   Ruas61
    I am a crusty old bat.

    I am crusty because my philosophy/presentation is direct, to the point and no nonsense. I am not unkind, cut throat or unfeeling. I am just pass the fluffy stage.

    I am old because I have aged into it with my earthly yearsand professional experience. G-d willing, so will all the rest of the nurses coming up.

    Bat comes with the club name here I guess.
  5. by   vintagemother
    Quote from RNperdiem
    What if the married staff are generally older than the single?
    As we get older, many of us gain confidence. A confident nurse is a less vulnerable target for bullies. Becoming a mother taught me a big lesson in assertiveness and how to squash bad behavior in others immediately.
    This is what I was thinking, too. If you have a spouse and kids you may be more likely to know how to assert yourself.
  6. by   EmilyEmily
    Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting
  7. by   ixchel
    Quote from EmilyEmily
    Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting
    Jiminy Christmas I just had to google "gas lighting" because never in my life have I heard someone use that term before.

    Really?!

    You actually believe that I am personally attempting to manipulate you into questioning your memory of the situation?

    imageuploadedbyallnurses1400380270-119777-jpg
  8. by   Ruas61
    Quote from EmilyEmily
    Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting
    You came here to discuss it.

    You may not like the responses.

    That's how it rolls out sometimes.
  9. by   LadyFree28
    Quote from EmilyEmily
    Yes, it was a repeated occurrence. I know when I'm being bullied and I don't need people telling me any different. Stop gas lighting
    Again, NO ONE is gas lighting you.

    You started a post, giving out snippets of information, and you, by your choice have given the information, based on your fashion, have not gotten the response your wanted; personally, you may be Gaslighting US with the additional information as well as your projection of throwing the term around...but I won't make that assumption.

    But in retrospect, this post is about whether or not martial status is a factor in being bullied, and to be honest, NO, it doesn't.
    Last edit by LadyFree28 on May 17, '14
  10. by   ixchel
    Quote from LadyFree28
    Again, NO ONE is has lighting you.

    You started a post, giving out snippets of information, and you, by your choice have given the information, based on your fashion, have not gotten the response your wanted; personally, you may be Gaslighting with the additional information...but I won't make that assumption.

    But in retrospect, this post is about whether or not martial status is a factor in being bullied, and to be honest, NO, it doesn't.
    Martial status! Can we have an interlude? Perhaps that would be gas lighting the conversation? (Is that the right usage of that word?)

    http://youtu.be/jhUkGIsKvn0
  11. by   TriciaJ
    Actually, when I was younger and single, I also wondered if my marital status made me more likely to be bullied. My theory was that if I'd had a family to go home to, I'd have more perspective on the whole thing and take less notice of things that happened at work. If I'd had kids to be assertive with, I'd have had more confidence to nail the bad behaviours. So I started reminding myself how old I was, and how long I'd been a nurse. I started being more judicious of whose behaviour I even bothered taking seriously. I don't know if it worked, or if I just got older, but it takes an awful lot for anything to register on my emotional radar anymore.

    Hope that helps answer the OP's original question. This thread has digressed somewhat.
  12. by   kungpoopanda
    Quote from ixchel
    A crusty old bat is a knowledgable person who doesn't sugar coat what they are saying. They offer support when a situation warrants it. They aren't afraid to respond to a person with the truth, as opposed to telling a person what they want to hear just to make them feel better. Maybe they screw up in the delivery, but again, this is not bullying. This is a person choosing to not add smileys and "sweeties", while they aim to prevent bigger problems in the future that come from being nice over being honest.
    Who says a crusty old bat is a knowledgable person? I've worked with plenty of nurses who are not particularly knowledgeable despite long years in the game. As for not "sugar coating", too many use this as an opportunity to unleash on someone younger and/or less experienced but instead of pointing it out reasonabley, does a number on the person and makes out they are a bad nurse and therefore a despicable human being.
  13. by   T-Bird78
    No, marital status or kids don't make you less of a target. I'm married with two kids and was bullied (yes, actual bullying; the sole target of the individual, progressively worse actions/comments, physically sick about the thought of going to work, all reported by myself and other staff with no assistance from the manager so I quit) by a divorced MA who's 35 years older than I am. My current manager is single with no kids, no desire to get married or have kids, and while she has never bullied me, I don't think she understands when my family commitments overshadow my work sometimes. I feel guilty calling out for a sick kid, or if my husband calls me for something at work. In my interview, she even asked if I'd be reliable having two kids now instead of just one since it's twice as likely to have a sick child. (I'm a rehire, I left when I had my baby and came back a year later).

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