Apology from a doctor!

Guttercat, ASN, RN · May 23, 2014

Not really an apology, but an unexpected compliment: One of the very best compliments I ever rec'd from a physician was that he loved my documentation because he could really see what the patient looked like by reading it (bless you, John Mehigan, vascular surgeon, wherever you are).

Love the vascular guys and gals. They're a quirky bunch.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · May 23, 2014

No apologies, but a complement from two separate medical directors: one for thinking out the box in terms of a complex pt; the most recent one was for me "identifying abnormal in abnormal pts"...the last one was in a company email-great for framing! :yes:

Guttercat, ASN, RN · May 23, 2014

I was fresh out of my internship when I made a mistake (that I've NEVER made again.)Renal patient with a low H&H, nephrologist wanted a type & cross for 2 PRBC's, planned to give the following day with dialysis and wanted them ready (but didn't write that explicitly). I can't remember why I called to clarify the order the first time but I did. For some reason my eyes read "type & cross" but my brain interpreted it as "transfuse." So here I go, transfusing my fluid overloaded renal patient (like I said, fresh out of my internship). For some reason after the 1st unit was completed, I decided to call the doc again and re-clarify that he wanted two units, and boy did I hear it! "NO NO NO NO NO! We already talked about this, he's supposed to get it TOMORROW with dialysis, he's already fluid overloaded! Do NOT transfuse anymore!" I probably sputtered a barely audible apology before getting hung up on.Two days later this doc is rounding when he pulls me aside and says, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how I spoke with you the other day. I was just having a really bad day, and I don't want you to think that I'm mad at you."I was flabbergasted. Not only did a doctor apologize to me, little newbie nurse, but I was the one who made the mistake in the first place.Other things docs have done that surprised me: surgeon helped me clean up a patient so he could do a rectal exam (like, actually helped with wiping/turning and everything), intern wanted to ask a question about a patient and actually introduced himself to me and asked how my day was (of course, after he moved up to "resident" status he was just as rude as anyone else, funny how that happens). It was my last day on the floor before resigning and I'd really come to respect many of the physicians I worked with. One of the docs had a very well established reputation for being stern and demanding, you can bet all the nurses crossed their t's and dotted their i's if this doc was on the floor. Heck, I think even other doctors working on the same cases with her did the same. This doc walked the fine line between being respected and being feared all the time. Anyway, I told her it was my last day and she said that she was very sorry that I was leaving, I'm a great nurse and would be a huge loss to the floor. Coming from her, that meant the world to me and still does.

I've worked with nephrologists for over twenty years. They're my favorite docs. They're generally a little "off" personality-wise (kind of like ER docs) and don't suffer fools easily, but they're the "smart cool kids." They didn't go into nephrology for the money. Nephrologists are-- in my experience-- the most collaborative and relational. It may be that because they deal with one of the most difficult patient demographic, they come hard-wired to be softies at heart.

littlehoneybee · May 24, 2014

I worked with a cardiologist who was a complete *&!hole. He constantly talked down to the nurses, yelled, slammed things, and refused to even make eye contact as if we were beneath him. The last straw for me was the day he talked to me VERY slowly, in complete monotone and acted as if I were mentally deficient. As he turned on his heel and started walking away, I followed behind him and told him in the same slow monotone that he did not have to speak to me as if I were a complete idiot. To my surprise, he apologized and from then on was all smiles and pleasantness to me. He'd even wave goodbye to me when he left the unit.

la_chica_suerte85, BSN, RN · May 24, 2014

The last Dr. to cuss me out (there's only been one or two), later asked me out. ***???. Anyway, it just goes to show that we're all people working in a highly stressful environment. Nurses are easy targets for venting of frustration because there are usually no repercussions. I've vented against peers and subordinates myself. Not proud of it. I'd rather have a doc unleash his or her pent up fury on me after months of "sucking it up," than deal with the truly narcissist doc who routinely takes pleasure in making "the little people" feel little just because they can. Those are the ones who need a liver stabbing.

Lol! Love it! Even though it would be nicer if it wasn't this way, I kinda like how on the floor people can be a little ****** with each other and then be cool the next minute -- no one is supposed to take anything personal. I like it because I'm that way. I may vent but I'm not venting at you so don't take it personal. If someone vents at me (unless I really screwed up and I know when I really screwed up), I don't take it personal. I had a preceptor do that to me for being late for report (my pt had been moved and, with the lovely set up this particular site has for records it took a little too long to find him) but then she was totally awesome with me after (though I felt the chastising was unfair it dawned on me what kind of a day she had in front of her and I had to get over my "uh oh I don't want to look like one of those nursing students" complex because it was really much more serious than that). So, it was cool and I'm fond of her now and like learning from her because she really is an excellent teacher. If I got my feelings hurt and held a grudge then we would have got no where.

But seriously, I love that that Dr asked you out -- he must be excellent with women in general. :roflmao:

T-Bird78 · May 24, 2014

If it was a handwritten note from the doc, are you SURE it said he was sorry? LOL. Anyway, that's great that he apologized!

anon456, BSN, RN · May 25, 2014

Wow that's great!

I really think all MDs should have to shadow a nurse for a few shifts as part of their training.

JasBSN · May 25, 2014

LOL interestingly enough, the original phone call during which he cussed me out, was to clarify an order no one could read since his handwriting was even worse than normal that day! The letter was in his handwriting but looked like he actually took the time to write neater. Think he'd cuss me out again if next time I have to ask him to clarify unreadable orders I tell him 'I have proof you can write neatly! All our lives would be easier if you'd just write like that all the time!"

Ruby Vee, BSN · May 25, 2014

If I got my feelings hurt and held a grudge then we would have got no where.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is one of the keys to getting along with co-workers in the real world! I wish I had learned that one earlier in life!

lhflanurseNP, APRN · May 26, 2014

Wow that's great!
I really think all MDs should have to shadow a nurse for a few shifts as part of their training.

One facility I worked at during nurses week one year did that! Our MDs took one day during that week and worked the floor, not their own patients, and did they have a greater sense of value of the nurse, the CNA and even the transporters. It was great! The following year they pooled their resources and had a company come and wash all the employee cars in the parking lot over nurses week AND provide a 30-minute chair massage for nurses and CNAs. Gotta love them sometimes :)

kanzi monkey · May 31, 2014

Years ago and in another state, I was taking care of a patient with leukemia who was actively dying. His expressed wish was to die at home, and his family was supposedly on board with the plan. But as families sometimes do, they got scared when he was nearing the end, and called 911. He was admitted to my very famous teaching hospital so he could die all alone in a hospital room. (The family didn't bother to accompany him.)
The resident on that night was brand new -- did I mention this was July? -- and had obviously never dealt with a dying patient. He ordered morphine sulfate, 2 mg. IV every hour. Not prn, which would have made sense, but every hour. When I made my initial rounds, the patient, whom I'll call Bradley, was in a lot of pain. I happily gave him 2 mg. of morphine. But an hour later, he was comfortable and refused the morphine. And the hour after that he refused it again. By now it's 9 PM, and I'm done with my med pass, staffing was unusually plush, so I went in to sit with Bradley and talk if he wanted. He told me all about the happy life he'd had, and how he was ready to die, but that there was one big mystery left -- death -- and he didn't want to miss it.
"That morphine makes me sleepy," he said. "I'm only going to die once, and I don't want to miss the experience."
Right about then, the resident, whom I'll call Mike G. Hotel came into the room to check on Bradley. We went out into the hall to talk, and I mentioned that MS 2 mg. q 1 h seemed like more than Bradley needed, and that he'd refused it. Mike went off on me, shouting about how he'd ordered MS 2 mg q1h, and that's what he meant to be given. If he'd wanted it prn, he would have ordered it prn. I tried to explain that Bradley had the right to refuse, but Mike went stomping into the room and announced to Bradley "you have to take your pain medication when the nurse brings it. Every hour." You know how patients are sometimes when the "doctor" tells them something -- they agree whether they mean it or not. Bradley said he'd take the morphine.
When I brought the morphine, Bradley refused it. "That doctor is young," he said. "He isn't comfortable with death, and he doesn't understand. You understand. I don't want that morphine."
So I didn't give it to him, and I spent most of that night sitting in his room, first listening to him talk and then just holding his hand as death approached. The aides came and got me if there was something that needed an RN. Mike went off to bed. About 3 AM, Bradley died peacefully, holding my hand. And I called Mike to pronounce him.
Mike came into the unit on a tear. "I just checked the medication records," he accused. "You didn't give Bradley his morphine."
"He didn't want it," I tried to explain.
"No one should have to die alone," Mike returned. "You refused a direct order. I'm going to have your job for this."
And he almost DID have my job. My manager wasn't interested in my explanation. I went on probation and almost lost my job.
Fast forward 20-some years. I've married and changed my name, moved to the opposite coast, gained a bunch of weight and accepted God's final word on whether my hair is straight or curly. We have a new medical director of our ICU, a physician from a world famous teaching hospital. Who should it be but Mike G. Hotel? I didn't think he recognized me when we were "introduced", and I certainly didn't want to tell him who I was after our previous experience together. So I didn't say anything.
A few days later, he brought a group of new interns through the ICU on a tour. "This is Ruby," he said to the medical students. "We go WAYYYY back, and she saved me from a really big mistake when I was a brand new intern. If I ever hear of you disrespecting Ruby or any other nurse, we will have real problems. And remember -- if the experienced nurse asks you if you're sure you meant to order something that way, you really don't want to order it. If the experienced nurse asks you "are you sure you really want to do that doctor," she's telling you you're f***ing up. You don't want to do that. And if you get into a disagreement with the nurse, I will ALWAYS back the nurse in the absence of proof that you're right and the nurse is wrong." Then he nodded at me and led the interns away.
It wasn't an apology, exactly. But he acknowledged his mistake, and he influenced generations of interns to respect and trust the nurse.

Holy $&!@ this is an amazing story and it made me cry a lot (in a good way). The doctor's lesson and the teaching of future generations is only the icing. What you did for that patient is absolutely inspiring. :*-)

Mortpm1 · Jun 21, 2014

One time, when I was working as a Telemetry Technician, the resident refused to write ICU

transfer orders on a patient with a heart rate of 10

I told him that the patient was not stable enough for the med surg floor, and he met our facilities ICU admission criteria. I called our nurse manager at home, as I had been instructed to do in this situation, when he continued to refuse to transfer

the furious resident stalked over to write the orders, asked me what my problem was, and that he thought I needed to have sex really soon (but not in those words). I reported this comment in writing to my manager, and thought no more of it, until 3 weeks later when I noticed a written apology to the nursing staff from this doctor posted in the hospital breakroom. A supportive manager is worth her weight in gold. I was lucky enough to have her for 15 years. Never had another one like that. Probably never will.