ABANDONED

Nurses Relations

Published

Certainly, several of you have witness this kind of treatment within families. Let me explain what I'm referring to, a week ago a teenager was brought to ED; after being examined by one of our ER doctors and labs.were done, he was diagnose with HIV. Unquestionably, the parents of the teen were outraged! to hear that their football player son in high school, came down with this disease.

Undoubtedly, after offering our support and guidance, along with social worker and other services; the parents advised one of our staff that they were going get something out of their car. However, they never returned to claim their son. Furthermore, several attempts to contact the teen's parents fell in death ears; on the last call to his parents the father answered and stated " My son died when my wife and I took him to your ER" Needless to say, the father used some derogatory name to refer to his son as well.

Having said that, my question is how can a parent abandoned their own flesh and blood, at a time of crisis, with all the new knowledge that's out there regarding this disease! It's truly beyond my comprehension as a single parent myself, I can't fathom what this teenager is going through. No one can deny, that there's still work to be done in order to educate the public. In conclusion, it's not easy to swallow why the public wonders the increase of Teen suicide!!!

My great grand mama use to say in one of her many sayings and I quote " There's nothing worse than the blind that doesn't care to see"

Specializes in ICU.

I dont usually cry but I think that would make me cry. what sickening parents. Gotta feel for that kid. Who do you call for something like that. child protective services, the police?

Unreal.

Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.
I apologize, I hope that you did not think I was attacking you in anyway, just giving advice.

With regards to your particular situation I just had about a thousand alarms go off in my head. Tread lightly my friend, you are entering dangerous territory. Honestly, once the terms molestation and child are uttered into the same sentence I personally would relay this information to the social worker and whatever authorities you have at you facility and then never speak of it again.

Lots of privacy and criminal investigation issues here. Yikes. Not to mention the whole HIV/AIDs federally protected status business.

Watch yourself and map sure you mind your Ps and Qs.

AsystoleRN I assure you that in no shape or form I felt that you were attacking my post. Therefore, there's no need for apologies, as I stated previously everything was handle with the highest caliber of professionalism at the ER. Having said that, I couldn't have been more pleased with everyone's conduct during such disturbing case. In addition, I appreciate your concerns regarding my P's & Q's, during my experience over the years I learned that; one must always take care of one's back and everything must be charted. I never have spoken in regards to this case until now, for this reason alone I need it to vent, in order to feel closure regarding my feelings towards the issue.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my appreciation to everyone that has comment on this post, for their concerns and thoughts....Aloha Pumehana~

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I must be made of lesser "stuff" regarding the judgement thing. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that parents reject children because of sexual orientation. If it didn't happen exactly that way with this family, it most certainly happened to another. Another child was rejected by parents when they came out. Yeah I judge that. I just don't let it show on the outside. I judge the parents who dunked their 6 year old daughter in a scalding hot bathtub "just testing the water temp", the father who broke both of his daughter's legs as well as many others. My job doesn't own my thoughts - and honestly I don't think I can control my reactions to certain egregious behaviors even if I wanted to.

thanks asystole rn . a very thought provoking story. after working in a forensic psych for five years, i have learned to stay neutral and not judge. by doing so, you are able to provide the maximum quality care to both parties. after all, our role is to be the nurse and not the judge. we may not always have the facts to the story. even if we think we do, it is not our place to be judgemental of the situation but to follow guidelines and offer the appropriate help.

Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

Asystole, that was quite a story that you posted.

Kind of reminded me of a little lady that I took care of while working NH. Her room didn't have a lot of pictures, trappings, etc.

Her kids never visited either, except for one son who lived right in town; I think he came about once a week. From stories that

I had heard, she had been a fairly lousy mother. Not nearly as bad as the mom in your story, but bad enough that her kids weren't exactly fawning all over her in her later years.

We're all human, we judge others no matter how hard we try not to. I'm sure most people would have felt just as you did. One of my instructors told me once that though we might all think it, a good nurse doesn't show it, and I'll bet you didn't show it at the time. Based on the segment of their lives that you were exposed to it's understandable to feel blown away.

Specializes in LTC.

Heartbreaking...

Specializes in u name it.

I have a 6 year old terminal patient in hospice right now who CPS brought to us when the mother was abusing his pain meds and leaving him to suffer without his medication. All I can do is look at both the mother and child as critically ill because if I view her as evil..I will be overcome with hate and not be able to objectively treat this very dysfunctional family.

I have a 6 year old terminal patient in hospice right now who CPS brought to us when the mother was abusing his pain meds and leaving him to suffer without his medication. All I can do is look at both the mother and child as critically ill because if I view her as evil..I will be overcome with hate and not be able to objectively treat this very dysfunctional family.

This is heartbreaking. I don't think any parent in the right frame of mind could do this. Addiction turns people into someone even their own families don't recognize. Very sad situation.

Specializes in ICU.

I think this is horrible. But it's not about my personal views. I am not so sure of the law, but isn't actually child abandonment if they kid is under 18? Isn't this illegal?

Specializes in NICU.
My state allows parents to abandon children at hospitals. Keeps the parents from dumping them into dumpsters or in the woods.

I don't know of a single state in the US that allows a parent to abandon a child without legal action.

Nebraska did until November of 2008 because they had 35 unwanted children dropped off at a hospital within 4 months, so they changed that.

Safe Haven laws allow a parent to abandon an INFANT safely at a hospital, birthing center, police station, or fire department anonymously, no questions asked. The state who allows the oldest children to be abandoned in this way is North Dakota, and the child still has to be under 1 year of age.

Link to Safe Haven Laws, by State. Safe Haven Laws - A Safe Haven for Newborns

Specializes in Oncology.
You are projecting your values onto the mother. Common sense is not so common and not everyone may see the same injury for what it is. I wonder if financial devastation was a concern for the mother?

Some things aren't cut and dry and we don't know the circumstances. Some things are cut and dry. Letting a child go for three days with a broken jaw, unable to eat, is neglectful and abusive.

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