How do women feel about pts that only want female RN's?

  1. Just had a pt (and her sister) who were astonished that I was assigned to the room. She middle aged. Not an OB or anything. She wasn't a little old lady and there were not cultural differences. It was more her sister (who was not medically inclined and constantly asked me questions that made no sense...she was citing articles on google and would ask me a question, wait for reply, and then would say she read something different. They said "I can't believe a male was put here. We only want female nurses." I said that we are capable of getting a female for bedpans and I wouldn't do any bed baths. Females nurses were walking by and they said "We want you, not him." The manager talked to them and they didn't have any problems with my competence. They actually liked how I cared for the pt and how I answered general questions. Then it came out...."Women are just more caring than men. Men don't really nurture."

    So, I was happy to get another assignment the next day. Which brings me to my question. The manager said that she would just assign women there (which I was totally fine with), and all the female nurses rolled their eyes and said "Please, please don't assign me there! Good, that's annoying."

    Is your day shot when you here one of your pts only wants female nurses?
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    About hodgieRN

    Joined: Oct '11; Posts: 642; Likes: 568
    RN; from US
    Specialty: 10 year(s) of experience in ER trauma, ICU - trauma, neuro surgical


  3. by   JDZ344
    Personally, I would not be offended by the request of a female nurse.

    What WOULD offend me is the comment about women being "more caring" than men.

    The eye rolling and stuff probably came from the ridiculously biased comment and the fact that the patient and family sound like kind of a pain anyway.
    Last edit by JDZ344 on Aug 3, '14 : Reason: Spelling
  4. by   anotherone
    (since this in the critical care board I will start off by saying I a female med surg nurse). We get pts like this occasionaly and it can be annoying to already have my assignment then have a switch sprung on me because of a pt's sterotypes or preferences. Or the ones who will keep the male nurse but there are only male aides too so I have to get pt on and off bedpan. Especially if it is someone who needs it frequently. well i have my own pts! have had many shifts with a couple of pts like this. I don't know ....... I am in my 20s , american and an athiest (so nothing cultural (i guess?) or religious) and if I needed to be straight cathed , bed pan, or even for ob/gyn drs I prefer women and for mds will seek them out esp since appointments are planned in advance. Some of the pt who want only a female nurse do not need anything like this ...Are they really that uncomfortable with a man giving their lopressor?... yet a male dr is ok....... There are plenty of men who are a lot more caring then I am . I can fake it pretty well, though! lol
  5. by   CapeCodMermaid
    The last time I was in the hospital, I would have been happy if anyone had come in to help me out.
    I don't care what the person's gender is as long as they are competent. However, I don't want any athiests taking care of me.
  6. by   me1989
    Seriously? Why no atheists?
  7. by   Esme12
    I think patients have the right to request whomever they wish.....I take no offense and have been relieved when asked to take care of someone else if a family is being difficult.

    My personal religious/political beliefs/opinions have no business in my professional life.

    I have requested to NOT are for a patient ONCE in my 34 year career...and it was for VERY PERSONAL reasons. My co-workers were very understanding and supportive.
    Last edit by Esme12 on Apr 21, '13
  8. by   BrandonLPN
    Any pt who refuses a nurse based on race/religion/sexual orientation/gender/whatever is a pt I'd only be too happy to pass off.
  9. by   imintrouble
    I sympathize with female pts who don't want male care givers. They only get that pass if it's for modesty reasons.
    The whole nurturing thing is nonsense. I tend to agree that male nurses are not as nurturing, AS A WHOLE, but that doesn't matter when assisting on and off a BSC or bedpan.
  10. by   msteeleart
    CapeCodMermaid, what is wrong with atheists? Just because someone doesn't believe that there is a man up in the clouds, doesn't make them any less caring. You shouldn't judge someone based on what they believe or don't believe in. What you said is like me stating that I do not want any believers taking care of me and that is just silly. It is simply a belief.
  11. by   Altra
    My two cents:

    Comments like that from patients/family members are an immediate indication that there are priorities OTHER THAN the medical well-being of the patient, and that will probably be a challenge, to say the least.

    When patients currently dealing with a medical crisis throw around the "caring" card ... again, that tells me that there are psychological issues in play, as it tends to mean that the patient has very specific, often codependent, wants/needs.

    An alert ICU patient is pretty much by definition not very sick in ICU terms ... and so probably not the favored assignment of the day.

    I might not have been able to suppress an eye-roll or a big sigh, either.
  12. by   FurBabyMom
    I'll be honest. I have had one inpatient hospital stay that I remember. I had to have emergency surgery. There was no way around it. What made me mad as a patient was not the gender, sexual orientation, or religious affiliation of my caregivers. The wreckless attitude some of them had that they knew more or better about me than I do - about MYSELF? It boiled down to serious customer service issues and frankly, unsafe practices/lack of competence. I do admit, for certain things, I would have a preference for a female staff member related to my privacy/modesty. Otherwise, I really don't care. And if I'm really sick enough to be in ICU - I probably have bigger issues.

    I will admit it kind of sucks when you are asked to handle baths/shower assistance and bathroom assistance for a coworker but they don't just give you the patient - so you have your patients and to help a coworker (many of my old coworkers weren't the most helpful). That said, I happily oblige to requests related to privacy/modesty or the patient's religious beliefs.

    I don't know where the religious beliefs of the healthcare worker came into play. I'm Catholic, but frankly, as a floor nurse - I never really got into discussions with patients on the topic. Where I lived at the time, a lot of other denominations of Christianity had something against the Catholic Church (not that there aren't flaws with the Church, but there are issues plaguing many denominations and other religions). Conveniently, I lived in a different town from where I worked and would simply say I attended services in the city I lived in - if I was REALLY pressed by the little old ladies who were lonely.

    Besides. As a staff member, it's never really about MY beliefs. It's about the patient's care and often, intertwined with their care are issues of faith/religion/spirituality. I was happy to listen to patients debating things, or to provide them access to a clergy member of their affiliation - but it's NOT about ME at work. For any set of religious beliefs there can be good and bad people asserting that they are one of that faith - the beliefs themselves do not necessarily make someone a bad person.
  13. by   BSNbeDONE
    I always "play up" male nurses who are coming in to relieve me. Anything to reassure the patients and put them at ease. As for me, I'll not have one, NO SIR RE BOB!!!! Hypocritical, I know but Nursing is the career I have; it's not who I am. I was raised AND went to nursing school in the days when orderlies and the only two male nurses we had only took care of male patients and female nurses only cared for female patients IF there was a male nurse on duty. But not to worry guys because the females will have their hands full with me because as proficient as I am in starting IVs and accessing ports, I have a tremendous fear of needles and absolutely no threshold for pain and I can't swallow pills. (But I expect you to make me feel better.) So, just have the crash cart parked outside my room because when I code, I'm not gonna care who does what. And PLEASE make sure it has been plugged in and restocked, ok?
  14. by   rumwynnieRN
    I think it's annoying. I'm a female nurse, and yeah, I get the whole, "We prefer females/males because of modesty/sorry-i-feel-weird-you-touching-my-junk," but the latter? I'd be happy I don't have to take care of them, but it would still rub me the wrong way. Females are more caring that males? What is that suppose to mean? I know some terrible female ICU nurses who say they're busy taking care of their pt who requires total care, but who sit at the computer planning their next trip.