How do women feel about pts that only want female RN's?

  1. 4
    Just had a pt (and her sister) who were astonished that I was assigned to the room. She middle aged. Not an OB or anything. She wasn't a little old lady and there were not cultural differences. It was more her sister (who was not medically inclined and constantly asked me questions that made no sense...she was citing articles on google and would ask me a question, wait for reply, and then would say she read something different. They said "I can't believe a male was put here. We only want female nurses." I said that we are capable of getting a female for bedpans and I wouldn't do any bed baths. Females nurses were walking by and they said "We want you, not him." The manager talked to them and they didn't have any problems with my competence. They actually liked how I cared for the pt and how I answered general questions. Then it came out...."Women are just more caring than men. Men don't really nurture."

    So, I was happy to get another assignment the next day. Which brings me to my question. The manager said that she would just assign women there (which I was totally fine with), and all the female nurses rolled their eyes and said "Please, please don't assign me there! Good, that's annoying."

    Is your day shot when you here one of your pts only wants female nurses?
    brian, poppycat, Melodies of Legend, and 1 other like this.
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  4. 41 Comments so far...

  5. 7
    Personally, as a female NA, and as a woman, I would not be offended by the request of a female nurse.

    What WOULD offend me is the comment about women being "more caring" than men. I work with some AWESOME male nurses and we all know that that is untrue.

    The eye rolling and stuff probably came from the ridiculously biased comment and the fact that the patient and family sound like kind of a pain in the butt anyway. Arguing with a professional whilst armed with information learned from Google/Wikipedia is a major pet peeve of mine.
    Last edit by KatieP86 on Apr 21, '13 : Reason: Spelling
    MahzieLPN, chaka_1709, Swellz, and 4 others like this.
  6. 3
    (since this in the critical care board I will start off by saying I a female med surg nurse). We get pts like this occasionaly and it can be annoying to already have my assignment then have a switch sprung on me because of a pt's sterotypes or preferences. Or the ones who will keep the male nurse but there are only male aides too so I have to get pt on and off bedpan. Especially if it is someone who needs it frequently. well i have my own pts! have had many shifts with a couple of pts like this. I don't know ....... I am in my 20s , american and an athiest (so nothing cultural (i guess?) or religious) and if I needed to be straight cathed , bed pan, or even for ob/gyn drs I prefer women and for mds will seek them out esp since appointments are planned in advance. Some of the pt who want only a female nurse do not need anything like this ...Are they really that uncomfortable with a man giving their lopressor?... yet a male dr is ok....... There are plenty of men who are a lot more caring then I am . I can fake it pretty well, though! lol
    chaka_1709, poppycat, and vintagemother like this.
  7. 1
    The last time I was in the hospital, I would have been happy if anyone had come in to help me out.
    I don't care what the person's gender is as long as they are competent. However, I don't want any athiests taking care of me.
    MahzieLPN likes this.
  8. 7
    Seriously? Why no atheists?
    HMAmara, Syrenia, chaka_1709, and 4 others like this.
  9. 5
    I think patients have the right to request whomever they wish.....I take no offense and have been relieved when asked to take care of someone else if a family is being difficult.

    My personal religious/political beliefs/opinions have no business in my professional life.

    I have requested to NOT are for a patient ONCE in my 34 year career...and it was for VERY PERSONAL reasons. My co-workers were very understanding and supportive.
    Last edit by Esme12 on Apr 21, '13
    chaka_1709, poppycat, anotherone, and 2 others like this.
  10. 16
    Any pt who refuses a nurse based on race/religion/sexual orientation/gender/whatever is a pt I'd only be too happy to pass off.
    Scarlette Wings, Syrenia, chaka_1709, and 13 others like this.
  11. 6
    I sympathize with female pts who don't want male care givers. They only get that pass if it's for modesty reasons.
    The whole nurturing thing is nonsense. I tend to agree that male nurses are not as nurturing, AS A WHOLE, but that doesn't matter when assisting on and off a BSC or bedpan.
    bebbercorn, poppycat, KatieP86, and 3 others like this.
  12. 5
    CapeCodMermaid, what is wrong with atheists? Just because someone doesn't believe that there is a man up in the clouds, doesn't make them any less caring. You shouldn't judge someone based on what they believe or don't believe in. What you said is like me stating that I do not want any believers taking care of me and that is just silly. It is simply a belief.
    coast2coast, me1989, RURN2O11, and 2 others like this.
  13. 11
    My two cents:

    Comments like that from patients/family members are an immediate indication that there are priorities OTHER THAN the medical well-being of the patient, and that will probably be a challenge, to say the least.

    When patients currently dealing with a medical crisis throw around the "caring" card ... again, that tells me that there are psychological issues in play, as it tends to mean that the patient has very specific, often codependent, wants/needs.

    An alert ICU patient is pretty much by definition not very sick in ICU terms ... and so probably not the favored assignment of the day.

    I might not have been able to suppress an eye-roll or a big sigh, either.


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