Changing careers but discouraged by a failed student

  1. I have recently been accepted into an Accelerated BSN program. I am male and have worked in the Auto Industry as a Org Development Manager--However, my brothers Girlfriend who removed herself from an ADN program because she could not take the "Pressure" has been trying to discourage me from going into Nursing for the past year--She said the she could not piture me as a nurse because I am Male!--I was wondering if any of you were discouraged from entering Nursing by other people because you were male--and if so--how you dealt with it. My first instinct is to tell my brothers Girlfriend to buzz off! but I know that would not be productive. ANy advice would be welcome--Thanks

    John
    Last edit by sirI on Feb 4, '07 : Reason: TOS
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   AlisonBSN
    I'd tell her to buzz off!

    Sooooo many different kinds of people are nurses...and soooo many different kinds of people go into nursing school. I had absolutely no experience when I got accepted into a BSN program, and I took one of the semesters during the summer, which I guess could be considered accelerated. It was hard, but it was hard for everybody. It's not so much that it's hard, but it's time consuming. If you're not horrible at taking tests, and you study, and actually listen to most of the content in class, you should be fine.

    It is weird to think of someone you know being a nurse, because nursing requires the kind of nurturing attitude that you don't see everyday in your friends. A lot of people said they couldn't see me as a nurse, because I'm not the "super-friendly, mothering" type, and I doubted myself, too. Somewhere in the third semester clinicals was when I really started feeling like I was actually doing something beneficial for the patients, and I developed an ability to deal with people in their various vulnerable conditions.

    Nursing is different than other areas of education. It can take some getting used to. I think there were 6 guys in my graduating class of 40-something.

    Oh yeah...learning to ignore her is just the beginning. There will be many more stupid things said by teachers and hospital staff that you'll have to learn to ignore.
    Last edit by sirI on Feb 4, '07 : Reason: TOS
  4. by   RN34TX
    She doesn't want to see you succeed where she failed.
    Your becoming a nurse will remind her of what she wasn't able to complete.

    Years back, I started taking prereq's for the local ADN program with my best friend's sister. We both became discouraged when we found out about the 3+ year wait to get into the program. She stopped going to class and I opted for the LPN program which had a shorter wait list.

    All through the program I heard from her "Why bother going to school? You're just gonna be in a ton of debt when you graduate" or "Nursing is a dirty job so who'd want to do it anyway?" or "Your life must be so boring that you need to go to school to make it interesting. I've got too much going on to be wasting time in school."

    Funny thing is, the whole nursing thing 12-14 years back was HER idea in the first place. She's still working at the same old factory job and complains of being broke most of the time and how she's trapped in her town because she can't get another job that pays what she makes there.

    It's tempting but I resist the temptation rubbing it in that if she had finished her ADN she could have lived pretty much wherever she wanted to and made a fairly decent wage. I'm sure she's quite aware of it today.
    Oh well.
  5. by   donsterRN
    Go with your first instinct.

    Then go to school and kick butt.
  6. by   kamon8404
    Tell her to get a grip. I am a male nursing student and proud to be it. Just check out the male nursing section and i'm sure they will all tell you how they feel about that. She is probably just upset that couldn't cut it. I'm in the military and tons of people try to crack on me until I put them in there place.
  7. by   charebec65
    I agree with RN34TX, I think she's just not wanting to see you succeed where she was unwilling or unable to do so. I say go for it. The guy nurses I know are awesome.....
  8. by   Email4KH
    . You're listening to a chauvinist failure?
  9. by   Howie781
    Why listen to someone who failed. She is most likely afraid you will succeed which would make her failure all that more obvious to her. I never discourage family members or anyone for that matter from trying to further their careers or life. I feel thats a negative intrusive thing for her to do. Find some positive women and men nurses to draw from their success and attitude.

    DOh, didn't read RN34TX's post. Think he states it very clearly.
  10. by   locolorenzo22
    I think this phrase sums it up best ...."Let someone rain on your dreams and you're all wet. Listen, and you're the one who can't hear. A failure loves the company of other failures, as no one will remind them of the burden they refused to TRY to carry."
  11. by   cesRN
    Quote from Howie781
    Why listen to someone who failed. She is most likely afraid you will succeed which would make her failure all that more obvious to her. I never discourage family members or anyone for that matter from trying to further their careers or life. I feel thats a negative intrusive thing for her to do. Find some positive women and men nurses to draw from their success and attitude.

    DOh, didn't read RN34TX's post. Think he states it very clearly.
    Yup! My first thought was that she is afraid you will succeed and surpass her dedication and abilities. If not, ask tell her you didn't know that being female was a requirement to be a Nurse
  12. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from cartman1532
    i have recently been accepted into an accelerated bsn program. i am male and have worked in the auto industry as a org development manager--however, my brothers girlfriend who removed herself from an adn program because she could not take the "pressure" has been trying to discourage me from going into nursing for the past year--she said the she could not piture me as a nurse because i am male!--i was wondering if any of you were discouraged from entering nursing by other people because you were male--and if so--how you dealt with it. my first instinct is to tell my brothers girlfriend to buzz off! but i know that would not be productive. any advice would be welcome--thanks

    john
    [font="comic sans ms"]tell her to buzz off! you don't know much about this woman as a nurse except that she couldn't hack it.

    lots of people are discouraged from going into nursing -- because they're male, because "your grades are so good, you should be a doctor", because nursing isn't socially statused enough for the socialite mother, because nursing is much more status than your unsupportive parent thinks you could ever hope to achieve, because it's too hard, because it's not hard enough . . . you catch my drift.

    i personally was never discouraged because of my gender -- i'm female. i was discouraged because i should be a doctor, because i wasn't likely to ever make it through college, because my father thought i should marry my high school sweetheart and have babies. both my husband and my ex-husband are nurses. they both faced attempts to discourage them for various reasons, including gender. nursing is a wonderful, flexible career with many varied opportunities. go for it, and give this girl's advice the skepticism it deserves.

    good luck!
  13. by   Ben Franklin
    Cart,
    See if you can find a couple of nurses and talk to them or follow them at work. I did this and after following an ICU nurse, who was male, all reservations that I had are now gone!
  14. by   piper_for_hire
    Just look at the numbers - a certain percentage of people will fail out of any program - nursing or otherwise. The majority do not fail out. You odds are pretty good.

    -S

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