Being Gay and a Male Nursing Student - page 6

I'm aware that the words 'Gay' and 'Nursing' may somehow go hand-and-hand for some, and others may find it comical, but I've found it quite uncomfortable being gay and a male, nursing student simply... Read More

  1. by   Pca_85revived
    I'm not a guy, so I apologize for posting here if that's not ok. Your good coworkers won't care about your sexual orientation, just about how you are to work with and the care you give. I've worked with straight people who were awful to work with and people who were gay and in open poly/BDSM type relationships who were awesome. That said. I've worked with narrow minded managers who rode alternative lifestyle people really hard, as if they had more to prove. Don't ever let someone treat you like that. Regretfully, I was young at the time and didn't stand up for my co-workers/friends. Someone who's name i don't remember once said people treat you how you allow them to.
  2. by   Tacomaboy3
    A gay thread!

    I'm gay, a CNA, and about to start nursing school. Many times, I'm often doing 1:1 care at one of my jobs. I can't tell you how many times little (or big) old ladies tell me how cute I am, that I must have a girlfriend, that girls must be flocking to me, yada yada yada. I mostly take it as a compliment, for sure, but a huge part of me feels uncomfortable disclosing to them that I have a boyfriend. It's hard answering these "outing" questions. It's none of their business, sure, but I feel inauthentic if I don't.

    There have been times where I've felt comfortable enough with a patient to fully answer their question and I out myself - I've had both good and bad reactions. It's difficult: on one hand, I don't want to be disingenuous (I've spent too many years being in the closet, and I don't want to be stuffed back into it); on the other hand, patients have reacted very negatively and have asked for a different aide.

    I think it's very situational. That is, there are going to be circumstances with patients or coworkers in which your sexual orientation will never be discussed. If it ever is, I think I'd encourage anyone to be honest (given that it'd be safe to out yourself).

    I suppose that I, among others, will always figuratively be coming out of the closet for the rest of our lives to the people we meet. It never gets easy.
  3. by   barcode120x
    @ Tacomaboy3
    It's just as you say it, if you feel comfortable telling them your relation, go for it. I personally am strict as I can be in terms of personal life when talking to patients. Don't get me wrong, I'll relate to the patient if we are just socializing, but I always heed caution and stay away from "hot topics" if you know what I mean.
  4. by   NuGuyNurse2b
    I simply say "I keep my personal life personal"
  5. by   MikeMad
    Can I be banned here for homophobic posts?)

    Okay, this issue occurs in many fields, I think, not only nursing. You guys, just do your job well and defend yourself when its neccessary.
    Last edit by Esme12 on Nov 8, '16
  6. by   MrChicagoRN
    Quote from MikeMad
    Can I be banned here for homophobic posts?)


    Only do not touch naturals)
    What the heck does that mean?

    That our brothers and sisters from the LGBT community are "unnatural?"

    I certainly hope not.
  7. by   Esme12
    Quote from MikeMad
    Can I be banned here for homophobic posts?)

    )
    Yes...as a new member I suggest you familiarize yourself with the Terms of Service
    Our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. There is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. We will not tolerate anyone insulting other's opinion nor name calling.
    Our call is to be supportive, not divisive. Because of this, discrimination, racial vilification and offensive generalizations targeting people of other races, religions and/or nationalities, or sexual orientation will not be tolerated.
  8. by   GrumpyOldBastard
    I am as straight as an arrow, but I have been a man in nursing a LONG time. It has been my observation that gay men often excel as nursing students and as nurses. I live in Texas (a VERY "RED" state) and I never have had the slightest hint of trouble for any of my numerous gay male nursing students at my clinical site. Gay GNs seem to have no trouble at all competing effectively for GN/RN jobs.

    Good Luck!
  9. by   Union-Jack
    I'm of the thinking whatever you get up to in your private life and in the bedroom is your business, as long as it involves consenting adults. Gay, straight, bi, whatever, I couldn't care less. The only time it becomes as issue in the workplace (IMO) is if someone brings it into the workplace. For example, I would find it equally as off-putting if a female or male nurse was drooling over a male patient, or perhaps discussing their sex-life openly or whatever.

    Makes no odds to me what sexual orientation you are, but just respect the work-boundaries and don't bring your sex life to work. If you want to race home and dress up as an Easter bunny while you have a threesome with a drag-queen and someone in leather boots, that's cool.....I just don't want to hear about it!
  10. by   littleboyboo
    I am a gay man who is in school to be an RN. There's other gay guys around me that are as well going for nursing. Y'know -- it is true, that there are many gay men who are nurses. It's not a bad thing, it's just that we can associate ourselves better I believe with the nursing profession. Really, I find what being a nurse requires, many gay men have those attributes. Not to mention, we kind of blend in and clique with female nurses. I'm not exactly saying, that we're all feminine and that's why. It's just that many female nurses tend to connect with GAY male nurses not only on a professional level, but also on a personal level: men problems, everyday chat, yadda, yadda... down to what shampoo and styles you like.

    Being gay in the nursing profession is actually a + IMO. Lol, I mean analyze the big picture and think about it. Also, many patients' seem to like the chitty - chatty friendliness that stem from the gay man.
  11. by   ICUman
    In my experience most gay men in nursing are drawn to ER for some reason.
  12. by   RedBC
    As an adult, all of my friends are females. Eventually, I got married. It bothers me when heterosexual males spreading rumors that I was a bisexual then there was this group of women who were either lesbians or bisexuals also said the same thing. They all teased me that I was one, just hid it. They all presumed that I wanted women romantically based on my social circle due to the fact that I didn't have boyfriends in my teenage life or early adulthood. In fact, two of them solicited me for a threesome. I gave them a straight answer that I liked and respected them for who they were, asking me to participate in their sexual activity was unfathomable and they should leave me alone. I didn't say anything sounds condescending or demeaning, but they suddenly removed me from their life. Well, I didn't want to stalk them that can end up in the databases of the law enforcement, so I let them go. If they will decide they will want me around, they will contact me. So far, it has been 7 years since the last time we spoke after I refused to have sex with them. They accused me of something didn't cross my mind that I was an intolerance or prejudice person towards them, their sexual orientation. At this point, I learned to ignore or not to correct people's mind. It's their business to crap on their own rainbow. Discriminating me for being a straight female has NEVER been acceptable and will never be tolerated. It goes both ways. I could actually sue them for soliciting me.

    I definitely support that nobody deserves to be maltreated. When you have a hard evidence or witness, lawyer up. Whining doesn't resolve in anything.

    How people behave toward us, we cannot control it. We all get it; some of us don't care and move on. For example, I have a different issue. Some girls, who are acquaintances or friends of my friends guard their ugly husbands when I'm around. I used to get upset how they treated me. These days, I take it as a compliment, I must be a hot girl.
    Last edit by RedBC on Apr 6

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