Nurses with depression

Nurses Stress 101

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Are you one of them?

What is your story?

Me: dysthymic disorder, likely depressive sx from the age of 10-12. Major depressive episodes: 2. Other psychiatric comorbidities: anorexia nervosa (currently, in longstanding remission.) Hospitalizations: none. Medications: on and off since 2001...tried just about everything. Currently just restarted a single antidepressant. Therapists I've been through: too many to count.

I honestly think I went into nursing, in part, because I didn't think I could do any better and I couldn't fathom working in a role where I would actually have to be a boss or make important decisions. I viewed nursing as very subservient and I was totally OK with spending my life in the background and taking orders (that is what I thought nursing was, at the time.) This was over 10 years ago now and I don't see nursing that way anymore, and I do think I have grown into the role to some degree, and I'm not as fearful as I once was.

It is taking me way longer to complete my graduate education than it should because I struggle with maintaining work/family/life balance. It is incredibly frustrating to know that you are really smart (I'm not going to go into that because you all are probably going to either think I'm A. inflating my intelligence or B. a pompous a#$hole) but you cannot manage to accomplish what you think you should be able to, given a normal mood. I'm not even going to talk about my undergraduate education....lets just say I took more incompletes, part-time semesters, etc. than any human being should. I would have graduated when I was 40 had I not had PSEO credits. Fortunately at work, I have not struggled....I think the nature of shift work allows me to be able to put on a happy face for 8-12 hours.

I hesitate to post this because I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that aren't sympathetic and don't believe that depression is a real, legitimate problem. I just feel like such a failure right now because I went to the doctor today and got back on Wellbutrin :crying2:.

:crying2::crying2::crying2::crying2::crying2:

Specializes in Legal, Ortho, Rehab.

I have just gotten through a new book written by Mark Hyman, MD called The Ultra Mind Solution. In it he talked about depression, ADHD, dementia, and a number of other things. Pretty much, he explained that many of these issues we face are diet related (high frustose corn syrup, high mercury content in fish, etc.) I think it is a wonderful alternative to conventional medical thinking. If your body isn't feeling right how else might that manifest? It's worth a read, and it changed my thinking on a lot of things.

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Specializes in Flu clinics, Med/Surg, Acute Care.
I know many nurses with mental health issues, mine is anxiety and panic attacks (Yes, and I try to avoid the ER...but somtimes the chest pain is too bad, sorry to all the ER nurses out there). I know a nurse with major depression and one with bipolar disease. We manage. Bipolar friend does very well. Depressed friend struggles, calls in often and has some trouble, but is one of the best nurses I've ever met.

I lost a job R/T panic attacks, I couldn't cope with the pressure, so I quit spontaneously. The irony was that I was often complimented at that job about how calm I was in stressfull situations. People have no idea what goes on inside. I now have a very mellow job (rare, hard to find in LTC), my anxiety still gives me trouble and sometimes I feel like a failure, but I push on. :redbeathe

You are not alone, get the help you need and know, you are not alone. Hugs.

Hi since you mentioned panic attacks/anxiety. I just had a quick question. How do employers feel about their nurses taking benzo's or other things for panic attacks and anxiety? I read somewhere, maybe here, that BON don't allow nurses to work when taking narc's for pain, even chronic pain. So I was wondering like is it an issue as a nurse if one takes benzo's on a PRN basis?

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Specializes in LTC, Acute Care.
I have just gotten through a new book written by Mark Hyman, MD called The Ultra Mind Solution. In it he talked about depression, ADHD, dementia, and a number of other things. Pretty much, he explained that many of these issues we face are diet related (high frustose corn syrup, high mercury content in fish, etc.) I think it is a wonderful alternative to conventional medical thinking. If your body isn't feeling right how else might that manifest? It's worth a read, and it changed my thinking on a lot of things.

So does this doctor blame high-fructose corn syrup and mercury for the really great aspects of ADHD, too? Sorry I'm being a bit punchy, but ADHD is sort of awesome in many ways.

OP--I found Wellbutrin worked wonders for my longstanding depression, but that's because it was actually treating my long undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, a major factor in my depression. Is it possible that there an underlying cause in your case that hasn't been discovered?

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If you're not happy - fake it. Just smiling makes a big difference. You see yourself in your reflection on others. Dance a half hour every day - with yourself or better, with your pet. They'll love it too.

Right. Except for those times that I can't get out of bed. And those times that I can't stop crying. No, there's no faking it here, especially now, without a job. There's only, real, serious depression that isn't helped by "faking it". Thanks so much for minimalizing how I feel. :icon_roll

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Specializes in adult ICU.
Do you keep going off medication because of lack of effectiveness?

No, pretty much I do it because I don't want to be on psychiatric medications for the rest of my life, and at the time, I am feeling OK. I have been off meds for a year+ on a couple of occasions. I keep hoping that at some point, my life will even out enough for me to take good enough care of myself to not need the pills.

Let me guess: you're sick of not feeling "normal," but when you go back on antidepressants to feel normal, you also feel like a failure because you want to be able to feel normal without the help of meds.

I admire you. I really do.

Yep. Generally speaking, I just feel like a failure, and it's not just because of needing medication. The meds fix it, but there is still that thing in the back of your head that is telling you that you shouldn't need them. Thank you for being encouraging.

put on your big girl panties and get on with it. It's the way we're wired. We were probably not happy go lucky babies.

I have tried the big girl panties on, and they give me a wedgie. I've tried hard, and I can do it....for a finite amount of time....like maybe, two days.

I do agree with you that is how we are wired, though. I can't imagine being different than this.

Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse, but if you're still going to school, work, and being a Mommy, you're doing it!

Yeah, I guess I am. Perhaps not as effectively as I would like, but I guess I am.

I've suffered with depression for about 38 years. It took two serious hospitalizations to get me stabilized. I take my drugs pretty much happily because it keeps me from going all manic on everybody.

Mania is absolutely not my problem. Sometimes, I wish it was....I understand it from an academic perspective, but to get that high....would be interesting.

Her body wasn't producing enough "happy" so she had to have a supplement. That helped her get over the stigma that somehow she was responsible for her depression.

Thanks for that....I'm not sure if I can ever view antidepressants as a "supplement" ... but in this day and age, seriously, why do I feel so damn bad about taking a stupid little blue pill? It's JUST A PILL. It's not like I'm....IDK, doing something illegal.

ADHD, a major factor in my depression. Is it possible that there an underlying cause in your case that hasn't been discovered?

I don't think so. Dysthymic disorder has been horrifically accurate for me, unfortunately. I don't have hyperactivity, or attention problems. I am a pretty clear cut case of just being a low-ish mood kind of person. The only thing that I think that I may/may not have had worked up appropriately is that the MMPI has said in the past that I may have anger issues (it's been a number of years since I have taken the MMPI, though...at least 8.) Now....I am not a lash-er out-er and have never had consequences of any of that sort of behavior. So....I'm not really on board with that.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

Howdy

I do sympathise, and I mean sympathise cos I have neurotic family members with manic depression, and often wondered if I have it too. I too get very depressed (not going into why) but am on Escitalopram, as I get seasonal affective disorder (SAD) as well in winter.

I basically moved to get away from my family as they really depressed me. I don't contact them. I am of course not happy about it, but living near/with them was a hundred times worse.

I am studying mental health and I'm not going to be so pompous as to tell you I have an answer to your problem (no-one does, really). But depression has always really interested me, not because so many people suffer from it, but to try to find the root cause/s. However many people I have looked after say nothing has CAUSED their depression, they are just born with it - it is something inside of them.

Have you ever written a diary, or just wrote down what you think may cause/contribute to this depression? That has helped me. I know one cause of my depression is my family (we have never been close in our family), and family is a major staple of self worth in many people's lives. Have you always felt depressed? Do certain events/TV programs/situations etc stress you out or depress you? Have you tried changing your thinking or does religion help maybe? Do you have trouble coping with everyday situations?

I think much more study needs to be done on depression and the fact that it is not taken seriously by many health professionals. I too have seen Dr's who couldn't care less that I was depressed, sitting in their office crying, they just throw meds at you and say 'come back and see me in 2 weeks'. A Dr friend of mine said that's because local Dr's don't know what else to do - maybe.

I have always said there should always be special nurses/Dr's 24 hour staffed clinics for people who have depression. Maybe we are much more conscious of it cos of more advertising and awareness. But many of my patients told me the meds don't help them and they have tried counselling etc, nothing seems to work for them. I often wonder if there is some hormone that hasn't been discovered, or it's our meaningless, hectic lives we live that causes all this? Maybe we get depressed cos we have left the simple things behind about what really matters in life. I don't know.

I can only tell you what helps me. I like to write and do yoga/pilates or simple stretches as this gets the blood flowing. Shopping in op shops is great too, as I find good bargains and nothing makes me happier than saving money! I love reading and going on good internet chat sites, like this one. That way I can choose when I want to talk to people or not. I take long, hot showers to relax me. I try to get more sleep now. I take multivitamins - including Vit D. I also have a half a glass of wine occasionally at night, and that relaxes me too. My life is by no means perfect but these things help a little.

It's hard to get a balance nowadays. Life is so busy and people don't have time for each other now. That is one of the problems of our modern society I think.

Email me on here if you want to talk, I am usually near my laptop - you are not alone!

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I think doing your best to manage difficult symptoms is a good thing. To evaluate yourself and decide that you need a little help and to go out and find it is a good thing. Take the best care of yourself that you can, don't stop trying! Good luck!

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Specializes in mental health, aged care/disability care.

OP, I think you are one of many. I am too. I have chronic depression, PTSD and a generalised anxiety disorder, with borderline personality traits thrown in.

I can't function without my medication - I take cipramil and seroquel. Have tried many others but at the moment this is what works for me. I've been in hospital 3 times and have been seriously suicidal. I've come to the conclusion that this is what's best for me and for those who think putting on big girls panties is gonna make a difference - well they can go jump in a lake.

I don't cope with change well and at the moment it's effecting me badly. I've just completed my nursing course and am having a hard time finding a job (Australia is just as bad as the US for new grads).

Good luck with your meds and I assure you that you are not a failure. :up:

Chris

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About 1/4 of the population is (supposedly) depressed. Sounds about right to me - especially for those who live in northern climates. Think of it as a variation on normal, put on your big girl panties and get on with it. It's the way we're wired. We were probably not happy go lucky babies. If we had DA (Depressives Anonymous), I'm sure we'd get the same advice you get in AA. If you're not happy - fake it. Just smiling makes a big difference. You see yourself in your reflection on others. Dance a half hour every day - with yourself or better, with your pet. They'll love it too.

everyone should remember that subee is addressing the OP, who has a dx of dythemia, not major depression.

in that case subee's obs are pretty much on target. and the big girl panties remark, i presumed was aimed at the unwillingness to continue meds.....

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Specializes in Long Term Care, Pediatrics.
Hi since you mentioned panic attacks/anxiety. I just had a quick question. How do employers feel about their nurses taking benzo's or other things for panic attacks and anxiety? I read somewhere, maybe here, that BON don't allow nurses to work when taking narc's for pain, even chronic pain. So I was wondering like is it an issue as a nurse if one takes benzo's on a PRN basis?

I take benzo's for emergencies, then I call in sick. Doesn't happen alot, I'm on paxil also usually does the trick. I also use deep breathing, immagry (pardon the spelling) and quiet "time outs". The benzos are strictly for chest pain panic attacks.

My employer is quite aware of the situation, they have treated me very well, as I said before, I have a cake job now.

So...no I'm not walking around work all doped up. Thanks for asking.:redbeathe

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Specializes in LTC, Subacute Rehab.

I can't function without my medication

Chris

That's where I am at. Without meds - major depression with some delusional features. With meds - still have depressive episodes but they are MUCH milder and I have a life!

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.
OP, I think you are one of many. I am too. I have chronic depression, PTSD and a generalised anxiety disorder, with borderline personality traits thrown in.

I can't function without my medication - I take cipramil and seroquel. Have tried many others but at the moment this is what works for me. I've been in hospital 3 times and have been seriously suicidal. I've come to the conclusion that this is what's best for me and for those who think putting on big girls panties is gonna make a difference - well they can go jump in a lake.

I don't cope with change well and at the moment it's effecting me badly. I've just completed my nursing course and am having a hard time finding a job (Australia is just as bad as the US for new grads).

Good luck with your meds and I assure you that you are not a failure. :up:

Chris

Chris donno what state you are in, but NASA and some other agencies do GNPs, you can probably get work through them. just contact them and ask.

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