For extroverts...please don't ask me

CloudySue · Feb 13, 2013

You are SOOO going to love this! I know nobody's gonna believe me when I say this, but... this is me.

Wait, I'm confused... this is you? You're Susan Cain? I pictured you a bit older, aka "Crusty Old Bat Society"? Plus I thought you were a nurse, not a lawyer.

Or... do you mean you can relate to what she's saying?

wanderlust99 · Feb 13, 2013

I'm an introvert too. We are good listeners, most of the time. And thinkers. Introspective. These all are important and wonderful qualities. Though sometimes I wish I didn't internalize and over anaylze everything.

I've found at work though I have to at times force myself to interact with some of my coworkers. Smile. Make conversation with them, act interested even if I'm not. God, I sound like I hate people. I really don't. I don't like the idea of changing who you are to make others comfortable, but it's about making things better for yourself at work.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Feb 13, 2013

You are SOOO going to love this! I know nobody's gonna believe me when I say this, but... this is me.

WOW, impressive GrnTea!! WOW!!
but, great video!! LOVED IT!!!! You are amazing!! I so so loved your suggestion that more people spend time in nature! Ah, love that one, wish more people DID seek out nature.

OMG, no, I didn't mean LITERALLY me. Susan Cain is not my name and she is not me! I meant that she was describing me. I was the kid who took books to camp, and I do love to spend time outdoors. I prefer to work in my own office, not out there. I have, over long practice, learned to speak in public and teach (and have enjoyed some modest success at it). I just loved how she described us, is all.

allnurses Guide · Feb 13, 2013

I'm actually not shy at all, I'm just totally misundetstood... just because I don't blab everything thing I smell touch and see does not mean I am a poor communicator!

I know, right?

I also don't think everything that crosses my mind should be a verbal statement!

(Facebook reinforces this to me and that this is actually a good way to be .

I have seen some statuses that have burned my retinas and made my brain bleed).

Some extroverts have no clue how obnoxious they can be... especially when they think they're being charming.

On the other hand, some extroverts I really admire and envy their ease.

I think it's been said many times, but some extroverts have problems with introverts because we freak 'em out.

They often don't know how to handle silence and they equate it with a bad things: rudeness, unfriendliness, dislike and even hate...

And that's just not always true .

allnurses Guide · Feb 13, 2013

Lol, GrnTea!

Seems you been misunderstood by a bunch of misunderstood introverts.

PRICHARILLAisMISSED · Feb 14, 2013

Aw, i do feel bad for the OP, it's obvious she is tired of something at her job.
//"You say that I rarely talk much.
You don't talk to me neither."//
You do not wish for them to talk to you, or you do wish they would talk to you?
At any rate, imo, there is a difference, between being a quiet person, and like, someone who can't occasionally smile now and then, til everyone figures out who they are.(a quiet person)
All creatures have body language, and an immobile face, accompanied by zero verbal participation could indicate, or could be mistaken for signs that one is upset, annoyed, etc.
that is why they are all asking you.
So, if that is NOT the case, then no harm in throwing out an occasional smile, every once in a while, just to help your coworkers sort out you are quiet, but, not unhappy. Otherwise, it might be, they have zero feedback from you at all, to allay their worry you are upset. but, probably, overtime, they will learn who you are, and stop asking you how you are.
Maybe no words even req'd, but, an occasional smile:) could help. If they saw an occasional smile (even if remark was not hilarious) they might stop worrying something is wrong/you are sad/you are upset, maybe if you smile now and then, they'd stop asking you questions which you find annoying. then maybe you could get the 'room' you seem to desire.
I'm only guessing, but, i imagine the people asking you if you are okay, had good intentions, even if the result was you felt annoyed by the questions, i bet their intent was good or kind. I bet the last thing they wanted was to annoy you, i bet they genuinely meant well by asking. They were probably trying to make you feel "included" or cared about, even if it landed wrong in your ear.
good luck!!

I couldn't have said it better myself. To add to this post from the PP, I'd like to suggest that you try to focus on the fact that they likely do have good intentions. I personally believe that a persons intent is more important (in social matters, anyway) than their execution. Kind of like when you get a gift you really don't like, but the gift giver got it for you because they really thought you would. It's their intentions that are important.

Also, just a thought but if it's co-workers of the opposite sex that constantly bombard you with this, maybe they just are attracted to you, but being that you are quiet and don't talk to them for your own reasons, they're unsure on how to approach you since they may see you as an "Ice Queen" (not that you necessarily are one, but it's easy to mistake a beautiful woman who doesn't take the time to speak to you as one).

I'll shut up now.

:)

anotherone, BSN, RN · Feb 17, 2013

i think i am an extrovert with trust issues so i come across as an introvert.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Feb 17, 2013

I couldn't have said it better myself. To add to this post from the PP, I'd like to suggest that you try to focus on the fact that they likely do have good intentions. I personally believe that a persons intent is more important (in social matters, anyway) than their execution. Kind of like when you get a gift you really don't like, but the gift giver got it for you because they really thought you would. It's their intentions that are important.Also, just a thought but if it's co-workers of the opposite sex that constantly bombard you with this, maybe they just are attracted to you, but being that you are quiet and don't talk to them for your own reasons, they're unsure on how to approach you since they may see you as an "Ice Queen" (not that you necessarily are one, but it's easy to mistake a beautiful woman who doesn't take the time to speak to you as one).I'll shut up now. :)

i dont trust their prying or intentions. less they know the better. i sometimes like being seen as an ice queen. an aura of mystery . my real life persona is different than the obnoxious one here. lol. if people view you as icy they stay away and leave you alone. less unwanted attention, many of us know that and like it! i talk to the people i like. should see how shocked some coworkers are to see the random people i am friendly with when meanwhile in years, i never said anything non work related to them. ha . many nurses in the float pool list this as one of the pros of being a float. you go in for a few hours to each floor, do your job and dont get involved

DoeRN · Feb 18, 2013

Anotherone this is the exact reason why I float. I don't get involved. I come in get my assignment, take care of my patients and go home. I don't have to talk to anyone other than my patients and the occasional doctor and most of them by phone which is even better.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

Altra, BSN, RN · Feb 20, 2013

You are SOOO going to love this! I know nobody's gonna believe me when I say this, but... this is me.

Wow, thanks for that video ... dang, I think it brought a tear to my eye.

LaRoseRN · Feb 20, 2013

Susan Cain is also the author of a wonderful book on introverts aptly titled "Quiet"

CloudySue · Feb 21, 2013

My daughter has Selective Mutism, and it seems to bother everyone around her except... her. I think her anxiety comes from everybody else trying to talk to her. She just wants people to leave her alone. If she wants to talk to you... she will. She has about 4 little girls in the whole school she speaks to. She's in 2nd grade.