Depression r/t nursing school AEB becoming someone I don't recognize - page 2

School is depressing me. Most days I am not motivated, have a lack of interest in things that used to make me happy...blah blah blah... The thing is I've had terrible luck with anti-depressents and... Read More

  1. Visit  ChristinP} profile page
    0
    Many of my classmates felt the same during nursing school. Some used meds, some of us exercised on break or found something to keep our minds clear and free of the craziness.
    I called it enviromental depression with situational bi-polar
    It really helps to talk to someone and find out if you need further help, which means you need to fit that into your schedule too... I know, more stress and time. But, if it's needed to help then it is important because you are important.
    Nursing school is very stressful, it doesn't last forever and lucky for you it's almost over. Please remember your first job is also likely to be tough and stressful so take care of yourself.
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  3. Visit  cna to crna2b} profile page
    0
    I think there is nothing wrong with admitting being depressed. I about the same spot in nursing school as you, halfway done with school. I was in the middle of my phyc rotation and found myself in the worst place in my life. Being flat broke and trying to support my wife and three kids. I had to have classmates and instructors help me to get help. After that I was able to get a grip on things and pull through. I would find help and get it if you find yourself needing it. Heck look at my avatar I advertise I am getting help. You will be the same person when you are done with school, just imagine the pride in a year when you walk across that stage. Keep your head up.
  4. Visit  arte_suave} profile page
    1
    School is depressing me. Most days I am not motivated, have a lack of interest in things that used to make me happy...blah blah blah...
    You have already done one of the hardest parts of success, which is getting started. If want to be that professional nurse, you have to take that little decision you made and keep executing it to take it as far as your imagination holds. Believe me it's not talent or innate ability that makes you succeed, it simply comes down to how hungry are you? How hungry are you to improve? How big is your appetite for success? What are you willing to do to reach your dream of being a nurse? Because the really good professional RNs, they didn't care about the naysayers, or the fun they were forgoing, they didn't take days off, and they were 100% set in their ways in perfecting their craft because it was all for a much larger purpose than any semblance of happiness that immediate gratification provides. Remember during the depressive parts that reaching your goal is the real bliss!

    To make it into being a professional nurse, I have learned you have to be willing to knock on the doors of complete exhaustion every single day. Now here's my opinion of exhaustion: That it you are so tired, frustrated, and pained that you can't even think straight. It is in reaching that point that you know, deep down, that you did everything you could do to be successful. That there wasn't one more thing you could have done to make anything better.

    Sometimes you will feel terrible and depressed in nursing school but the more important question I always ask when I feel that way is, "Am I moving further or closer to my goals?" Am I at the door of exhaustion or am I merely uncomfortable? Because being uncomfortable is not exhaustion. Being uncomfortable is your mind quitting on your spirit. Being uncomfortable is just saying no to trying again after failure.

    Remember it will always be easier to watch ER, Nurse Jackie, Grey's Anatomy than it is to be that actual person becoming a nurse. It's easier to hang with your friends, husband, kids, etc. than to spend all day in the library. It's easier to sleep in than to wake up at 4am for clinical. It's easier to go to a party or a family function than it is to sit with your study group working away. It's easier to work a full time job that you don't really like than to pursue your dreams. But it is also a lot easier to look back on life and know you gave it your all than it is to live with regrets. Not living up to your potential will weigh on your shoulders for a lifetime.

    No one ever said being successful as nurse is easy but more have told me that it was worth it than not. Just remember you are you own maker in this world. I just tell myself that there is no such thing as failure. I just tell it no, not this time, not with me. I'm going to try again and again. I have no issue looking at these nursing school hurdles like depression, failure, and uncertainty in the face and telling them that I'm willing to go through it all and any other issue that gets thrown at me to reach my goal because I know without struggle there will never be any progress. It just comes down to how bad you want it. How bad do you want to be a nurse?
    maccheese likes this.
  5. Visit  griffin10} profile page
    0
    I feel you on this one. My life is about going to class, studying, and going to clinicals. I do hang out with my boyfriend, but we end up studying a lot together. I havent even told him that I have felt really depressed recently. Being in nursing school, I feel like a barely get to hang out with my friends and I have almost stopped going to club events I used to love going to. I thought I would make really good friends in my nursing class, but that has not really happened either. Being a nurse has been my dream for so long and now that I am in the midst of attaining it, I am realizing how much I missed my life before. Sorry for using this as my venting place! lol
  6. Visit  Jennybrie} profile page
    0
    St. John's Wort works for me when the prescribed stuff didn't. I agree with the above posts that the stress and anxiety of nursing school pushes us to our limits. I didn't even want to admit that I was having the same symptoms as my patients but everyone is a psych patient whether or not they are labeled as such so that includes me too. I have no idea what you are going through but hang in there and persevere. In the end you'll be happy that you did.
  7. Visit  R3rohrer} profile page
    0
    I haven't been on this site since I was accepted to the SFSU school in last May.

    I am now completing my second semester of nursing school and have about a year until I finish. And I can say this is the hardest thing I've ever done. Some days I feel on top of the world and others I "mentally dropout". Some days like today I take a break from school to go to the movies and wind up breaking down crying about how I feel like a shell of the person I was in the beginning of this adventure.

    I know to push through, it's always my nature, but damn do somedays I wanna take the next flight out to Costa Rica and say **** It!!!!! I don't know if nursing school is more educational or simply a way of beating you down to see what is remaining of you in the end. I feel completely bi-polar! Somedays I relate more with my advanced dementia patients than I do with fellow neighbors at the grocery store.

    Consider my present state a hallow shell moving from place to place and assignment to assignment. Sprinkle in some careplans. Ohh yea and those exams with all those "NCLEX" style questions that really challenge my ego as to whether I actually am a smart person.

    Beaten, rundown, and a crying mess. The feelings of nursing school that seems as though no one knows what your going through. As my boyfriend would like to call them, "they aren't sad tears, nor happy tears, their just tears that come out of no where!" We'll I'll tell you where they come they come from this dip pitted hole inside my soul that just locks away all the anguish experienced in nursing school.

    And being this bipolar nursing student I'm sure tomorrow when I go to the hospital and help heal my patients I will be like, "I love nursing school!" Signing out Anxiety r/o nursing school AEB my teachers, homework, reading, careplans, exams, and NCLEX.

    Signing out. R3
  8. Visit  Red35} profile page
    0
    Woo hoo!!! I'm not the only one that feels like a mess.....

    The thing that helps is to do something everyday not related to studying..I try and exercise 4-5 times a week for at least an hour...
    It's rough though....there are days when I think I should go back to my prior career as I'm more miserable in NS then ever....broke, no time, not knowing what the heck I'm doing...

    And I'm only in the second week of the second semester (or 3rd quarter).
  9. Visit  SubSippi} profile page
    0
    Nursing school doesn't last forever...here is a saying I live by:

    "The big day always gets here."

    It's true.
  10. Visit  calivianya} profile page
    0
    I agree with everything everyone has said. It's hit me hardest this semester (spring semester of senior year). I went through all of nursing school happy and excited that I'd actually be able to get a JOB, as my first degree got me nothing, but now... I'm finding out that there are too many new graduate nurses and not enough positions in hospitals for them. I don't want to work in long term care, nursing homes, etc. I've been turned down from four hospitals so far, and I have a 3.86 GP and I'm graduating with my BSN next month. It doesn't help that I really want to work in critical care and nowhere else; critical care residencies are CRAZY competitive. My classmates are all landing jobs around me and no one's given me anything yet. I absolutely feel like just jumping off a cliff some days. I have another interview coming up May 1st (critical care residency!), but it's in a hospital that's a nine hour drive away and I really didn't want to move that far away from my family. My parents are older and my dad's had some strokes, HTN, bladder cancer, CAD... my mom's had breast cancer. I would feel like the worst person ever moving away from them while they're not well. Isn't this when children are supposed to be moving closer - when their parents need support? I'm only 17 days away from graduation and I just want to quit some days! I have six hospitals I haven't heard back from yet and four of them are within a four hour drive... hopefully I hear something back soon.
  11. Visit  Tait} profile page
    0
    How about a counselor?
  12. Visit  gingah828} profile page
    0
    This morning I typed in nursing school and depression and found this post. Thank you. I am struggling big time with this and today is my final exam in mental health. Well, I know what I don't want to be and that is a psych nurse. I was already depressed before this rotation and I am finding that I lack motivation and I really just want to quit at times. This post helped a lot. It is good to know that I am not alone.
  13. Visit  crossfitnurse} profile page
    0
    To ALL OF YOU - this sounds lame... But consider yourself REAL nurses now. Why? Because when you encounter a patient that is depressed or having some kind of issues similar you can now relate with them and REALLY become their advocate. That is gonna make a huge difference in someone's life when you hold their hand and say "hey... I know what that's like... Lets see how we can get through this."

    This studying and book sh*t sucks, but it's not about that in the real world. 2 or 4 years is nothing to what you guys have ahead of you and the great things you will do daily.

    Keep your head up, all of you. You were picked out of many for this spot and this role. What a great thing to be "picked" for your accomplishments. *hugs* all around.

    You're going to change someone's life one day.
  14. Visit  spaghetina} profile page
    0
    I feel bad about resurrecting an old post, but I didn't want to start a new one whining about how depressed I am right now, in a forum where depression comes up so often.

    I feel exactly like gingah828. I'm coming to the end of my 5-week psych rotation, and I haven't been this depressed since I was a hormonal, suicidal, angst-filled teenager. If there's anything nursing school has taught me, it is that I DO NOT want to be a psych nurse.

    This depression started several weeks before school began, and has gotten increasingly worse as this rotation has worn on. I see so much of myself in my patients that at the end of the day, I come home and can't do anything for 15 or 20 minutes because I'm just so sad that I cry and cry. For them, for me, for... everything. My motivation is in the toilet. I've literally spent the entire day thinking about doing all the work I have piling up, agonizing over the fact that there is so much to do, and I've put in about 5 minutes of actual work. I could have worried for 10 hours less if I'd just gotten it all done first, and intellectually, I know that, but physically and mentally, I cannot get my body to do it. I'm cranky and irritable all the time, and it's beginning to affect my relationship with my fiance. Knowing what I now know about psychiatric d/o and mental health, you would think I'd be trying to get some professional help right about now, but I'm not. I hate the idea of having to take medication on any sort of long-term basis - which is not just r/t psychiatric meds, but meds in general.

    I honestly and truly hate the way that living my life feels right now. I find myself wishing for numbness because that's preferable to feeling negative, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, and like I'm going to snap all the time. I don't know what to do. Or rather, I know what to do, and cannot get myself to do it. Quitting school is not an option, but I feel like it's killing me from the inside out. It sounds so dramatic, but it's really not hyperbole.

    I keep reading that this is just how it goes. That a lot of nursing students end up on anti-depressants. That it's normal to feel emotionally beaten down and useless. Though I would never want anyone else to feel this way, I guess it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling like nursing school has completely sucked the heart and soul out of my body.


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