Today's Dr. Phil shocker: Nursing home abuse - page 3

by GLORIAmunchkin72

9,720 Views | 57 Comments

Or more specifically elder abuse. A woman states this particular nursing home has been abusing her mother for 2 years. Would you wait that long to remove your mother if you believed she was? Something not quite right here.... Read More


  1. 1
    Quote from GLORIAmunchkin72
    I wouldn't underestimate Dr. Phil too much. He reaches a lot of people and carries a lot of weight (figuratively speaking and otherwise?), however I was surprised that he got on the bandwagon with this grown woman who seems to be in her right mind, documented every sign of 'abuse' for TWO YEARS and when asked why she waited two years to remove her mother from such an abusive place she meekly replied: "I didn't know I could". Now, give me a break!!!
    She didn't know she could????!!!! ™Are you serious?? Wow! Has anyone had a family member take the resident out on a loa, they drop them on the floor or they accidentally fall while walking, and instead of them calling 911, they bring them back to the facility then proceeds to say "I want him/her to go to the hospital." Seriously? We actually had that happen about 3 months ago at our facility, the patient fell and hit his head. Instead of calling ems, she brought him back to the facility, he refused to go to the hospital for evaluation, and he was DEAD in less than a week. Its shameful.
    Blackcat99 likes this.
  2. 16
    I have a resident whose son refuses to let him wear Depends. His solution is to let his dad wear underwear with a pad. The poor guy is always urinating in his pants because sometimes he can't control his bladder. There have been days when this poor old man has had to change his pants 4 times during my shift. What does his son have to say about this? "You guys aren't checking on my dad enough and you aren't asking him if he needs to go to the bathroom." The son always lectures me about how much money he's spending on the "minimal" care that we provide. Sometimes I want to tell him to move his dad out if he hates it here so much. It's irritating how my ALD gives into his demands especially when the resident does go in his pants and I can't check on him until 30+ min later because he's not my only resident. When his dad gets a UTI, I'm sure the son will blame us.

    The best part is when the son ridicules my resident for not being able to control his bladder. The guy is over 90. The fact that he can walk to and from the bathroom is an amazing feat for someone his age. If he's incontinent sometimes, so what? I think sometimes families can be the biggest abusers.
    Irish_Mist, LTCangel, morte, and 13 others like this.
  3. 4
    To Lame - ridicule is absolutely considered abuse. If the staff were doing it, they'd be on the front page of the local newspaper. That son needs to be put on notice that he is guilty of abuse. Your facility should do so immediately.

    To Brown eyed girl - I worked at a facility that had absolutely the same scenario incident with a pt falling at home, and the family bringing pt back to NH. I recall there were also some injuries noted when he went out to the hospital.
  4. 1
    Quote from amoLucia
    These comments are SOOOOO on target!!! I've been LTC for the last 25+ years , and like you all, I am stunned by family behaviours. But I am no longer surprised by anything anymore.

    I'm amazed by families who SPY for one another and have their own little cliques, like it's their responsibility to run the place (and the industry). And they are the authorities on everything! I attribute their behaviours to their own "guilties", when their care of their sig. others was less than stellar and now they have the "guilties". So by exercising their self-importance, and being the guard for others, they assuage their 'guilties'.

    In my experiences, I find it ironic when their family member returns to us and there is a such a sense of relief and gratitude to 'be home'. They truly see the difference when their Mom doesn't get OOB for the whole hospitalization, and Dad hasn't been shaved fo 5 days, and nobody takes the time to help with meals trays... I've seen major attitude adjustments with readmissions.

    Not having seen that Dr Phil show, I will concede that nsg home problems DO exist out there. Crazy regulations, decreasing reimbursements, poor staffing, liimited equip/supplies etc etc etc all impact the industry. And in some extreme cases, abuse will exist.
    I want to say to those folk out there (incl members of AN here) who think they can do better than nsg homes can, then do it yourself.

    Of course, the media does foster the sensationalism of nsg home abuse with the "1-800-dial LAWYER"commercials. And I betcha those chronic, habitual complainers have the State DOH/Ombudsman Office on their speed-dial, also.
    Bravo! Couldn't have said it better myself!!
    DixieBelle7 likes this.
  5. 2
    Quote from NurseDirtyBird
    Then there are those family members that show up only on Easter and Christmas and complain about absolutely everything at those times. If they'd been in to visit their family member at some point before that, we may have been able to resolve these issues long ago...the valid ones anyway.
    Y'up. It is called "guilt". They are transparent as jellyfish and wish we weren't on to their game. Sorry, we are not the idiot airheads you thought we were.
    redhead_NURSE98! and LTCangel like this.
  6. 0
    Quote from BrandonLPN
    Oh, shows like Dr Phil are just trashy and melodramatic. I'm sure they'll play the "evil music" when they show the resident with bruises on his arm so the audience gets their cue to think "bad nurses". Cause we all know the only *possible* way a 90 year old on coumadin therapy could bruise is by staff abusing them....

    That's right. Turn that tv way up and sit spellbound while they feed you trash. Let it eat you up, clog your arteries, narrow those arteries with anger, and up your cholesterol. Then, head to the doctor for pravacho; for we all know stress and misunderstanding is what is ailing you; and will dement you later on. Keep the tv on.
  7. 0
    Do not let them win. Eat those steel cut oats, exercise, look and act nicely. Beat them everytime.
  8. 2
    Quote from GLORIAmunchkin72
    Or more specifically elder abuse.
    A woman states this particular nursing home has been abusing her mother for 2 years. Would you wait that long to remove your mother if you believed she was?
    Something not quite right here.
    Uh no. I am wary and cagey in the first place, and it would be a nightmare to me to have to go that route with a loved one. At any rate, however, 2 weeks would be too long, much less 2 years.



    I only wish there were workable solutions for some of these LT facilities. Some of them are all new and pretty; but the care is substandard.

    I agree, however, with the person that basically said some people will do anything for their 15 minutes of fame.

    Is it me, or is the Dr. Phil show kind of nuts? I can't imagine how people could feel so at ease with airing their dirty laundry like they do on that show.
    Last edit by samadams8 on Jan 9, '13
    LTCangel and NutmeggeRN like this.
  9. 1
    Quote from Lame
    I have a resident whose son refuses to let him wear Depends. His solution is to let his dad wear underwear with a pad. The poor guy is always urinating in his pants because sometimes he can't control his bladder. There have been days when this poor old man has had to change his pants 4 times during my shift. What does his son have to say about this? "You guys aren't checking on my dad enough and you aren't asking him if he needs to go to the bathroom." The son always lectures me about how much money he's spending on the "minimal" care that we provide. Sometimes I want to tell him to move his dad out if he hates it here so much. It's irritating how my ALD gives into his demands especially when the resident does go in his pants and I can't check on him until 30+ min later because he's not my only resident. When his dad gets a UTI, I'm sure the son will blame us.

    The best part is when the son ridicules my resident for not being able to control his bladder. The guy is over 90. The fact that he can walk to and from the bathroom is an amazing feat for someone his age. If he's incontinent sometimes, so what? I think sometimes families can be the biggest abusers.

    Doesn't the son understand what is going on with his dad physiologically? This is just stupid. I think the son doesn't understand the difference between his father's current situation and private duty care. Oy.
    DixieBelle7 likes this.
  10. 5
    You can't fix stupid.
    LTCangel, morte, NutmeggeRN, and 2 others like this.


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