Lost one of my 'favorites' yesterday

Specialties Geriatric

Published

I have been in this LTC facility for about 9 months. This gentleman was 90+, VERY hard of hearing, and, oh, did I mention this is an advanced Alzheimers unit? Due to having such a hearing deficit, he talked VERY loudly and sort of high-pitched. Most days we would have a ritual of me taking him his pills, handing him the cup, him looking in the cup then up at me with a shocked look on his face and saying, " what?!!, all these?!!". Then he would laugh and pop down the pills. One day, not too long after I had started on my own, the CNA came and told me that he was very agitated and demanded to get dressed for work. I told her to help him get dressed and let him just mosey around in his wheelchair like he always does. After getting dressed, he came out of his room , looked at me and asked where the elevator was.(This facility is only ground level.) I wasn't sure what to tell him (I SAID I was new at this) so I just pointed down the hall and told him "down there". He went on and a few minutes later came back by me asking the same question, to which I pointed down the other hall and said "maybe down there". He went on and , yes, you guessed it, came back by and again asked where the elevator was. I was a little stressed with the med pass so I told him I didn't know. He gave me a disgusted look and said," if you don't know, how the HELL did you get up here?".

I am going to miss him a lot. Thanks for 'listening'.

I have been in this LTC facility for about 9 months. This gentleman was 90+, VERY hard of hearing, and, oh, did I mention this is an advanced Alzheimers unit? Due to having such a hearing deficit, he talked VERY loudly and sort of high-pitched. Most days we would have a ritual of me taking him his pills, handing him the cup, him looking in the cup then up at me with a shocked look on his face and saying, " what?!!, all these?!!". Then he would laugh and pop down the pills. One day, not too long after I had started on my own, the CNA came and told me that he was very agitated and demanded to get dressed for work. I told her to help him get dressed and let him just mosey around in his wheelchair like he always does. After getting dressed, he came out of his room , looked at me and asked where the elevator was.(This facility is only ground level.) I wasn't sure what to tell him (I SAID I was new at this) so I just pointed down the hall and told him "down there". He went on and a few minutes later came back by me asking the same question, to which I pointed down the other hall and said "maybe down there". He went on and , yes, you guessed it, came back by and again asked where the elevator was. I was a little stressed with the med pass so I told him I didn't know. He gave me a disgusted look and said," if you don't know, how the HELL did you get up here?".

I am going to miss him a lot. Thanks for 'listening'.

So sweet...sorry for the loss of one of your 'favorites'......your life was blessed to have known him and see a glimpse of the fine man who used know where the elevator was and went to his job.

No one has a job like us - nursing - it's a proud profession - thanks for reminding us.

Specializes in Urgent Care, Family Medicine & OB/GYN.

That's a beautiful memory you have of him. So sorry for your loss.

Specializes in Acute rehab/geriatrics/cardiac rehab.

Sorry to hear about your loss. I remember when I was a new nurse and had fewer patients. I had a patient who was one of my favorites. He had multiple ulcers which required me to stay in his room dressing his wounds. He was an elderly gentleman who never married but had several folks who would come to see him. He transferred from our facility and his last words to me were "What am I going to do without you". I remember how affected I felt when I realized he died shortly afterwards at the new facility.

Yes. We have the privilege as nurses to meet some great folks :)

My dear Mom is convinced that the one-story LTC center where she lives has an elevator, too. I pray she has a nurse like you. I'm so sorry, honey, for your loss, but I'm SO THANKFUL to know that there are nurses like you out there, caring for people like my Mom. Bless you, and thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Penny

When I worked in LTC and lost my first " favorite" I cut her obituary out of the paper and carried it in my wallet for over a year. Whenever I saw it I would think about her and smile.

I developed a ritual when a patient would pass. I ould light a candle for them and say a prayer, and it really helped let go.

I don't go to funerals so it was a good way to say good bye.:redpinkhe

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

I am sorry that you lost one of your favorites. Sounds like he was a character. He was blessed to have you though.

Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

I'm sorry to hear that.....I think it's telling that we all have stories about "favorites"...Even in acute care, where we see patients for shorter time frames, when you have those patients that come in for long stays, or stays where it's going to be their last ones.....you get those stories...one of my patients last week was in for end care...and although she couldn't really drink anything, she loved the mouthswabs...so when I would go in (all masked up cause she was on isolation), she said "well, are ya here to swab?" I replied "Aye, aye, captain..." and she cracked up every time....also, telling older folks to pucker up like their kissing a pig for the chapstick really helps!

sorry for your loss....but it sounds like you won't forget him...

Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Tele, ICU.

That is exactly why I love LTC. We really get to know them, their families, their backgrounds. When I lost one of my 'first' favorites I went to her funeral. My husband thought I was going overboard but it was hard. The family appreciated it and it helped me to have some closer. I'm too darned busy now to attend funerals but I sure would like to.

Sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose one of your favorites! But that is the great part of LTC, getting to know the patients and be part of their family.

I'm sorry to hear that.....I think it's telling that we all have stories about "favorites"...Even in acute care, where we see patients for shorter time frames, when you have those patients that come in for long stays, or stays where it's going to be their last ones.....you get those stories...one of my patients last week was in for end care...and although she couldn't really drink anything, she loved the mouthswabs...so when I would go in (all masked up cause she was on isolation), she said "well, are ya here to swab?" I replied "Aye, aye, captain..." and she cracked up every time....also, telling older folks to pucker up like their kissing a pig for the chapstick really helps!

sorry for your loss....but it sounds like you won't forget him...

That's so funny...a sense of humor is one aspect that really helps patients and staff to cope with sad situations....

I work acute care and we have our "frequent flyers" and sometimes their next trip is their last one with us. One 70 something yr old gentleman who passed away last year was very difficult and demanding (and scared and very sick) - had no family - so he was very lonely.

I worked New Years Eve a few years back and he was wide awake - very demanding and mad - and on 4 diff IV meds/pumps - I was so busy with him...in his room all night ...so I joked with him that he was my Date for New Years...he smiled & laughed and became less grumpy and everytime he came back *readmitted" I would always remind him he was my date.

I wasn't there the day he died, but it was a traumatic code for the staff - and I think about him once and awhile (like now) and remember how lonely some patient's are...and we are "it' for them.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Geriatrics, Call Center RN.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's funny how all through nursing school the instructors or saying how you should not get "too close" to your patients. But you just can't not get too close. They become like family, and you become their family. If you don't get too close to your patients, it is more difficult to pic up those times when there is the slightest change that gives you the head up that something major is around the bend.

I was a CNA many moons ago. My first favorite who passed gave me warning that he was about to pass. But being a teenager I just didn't know it. He used to always say he was going to take me to the moon. One evening he was being very quiet. I asked him about our travel to the moon, and he replied "Well if you wanna go, we better hurry, I won't be here much longer." I laughed with him, gave him a hug and put him down for bed. I came back the next evening to find he had died in his sleep. I keep this story with me, so that I remember now as a nurse, those little clues. That way I can mention it to family in case they want to be there. It was sad that "Grandpa" was not able to be with family when he passed, but knowing the last person to put him to bed, was someone who loved him, helped me feel better.

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