I've been asked to permanently switch weekends; pondering things to consider

  1. I haven't even worked at this LTC for a year, but for the most part, I enjoy my job. I am only part time, I work every other weekend, but I have a set routine now and have a good relationship with my fellow nurses and CNA's. My hubby is an over the road truck driver and is only home 2 weekends a month, usually when I'm home. So this switch would upset our quality time together and he has already switched weekends twice b/c of my older son whose dad (my ex) had to switch. It was another nurse that called me with similar problems to mine, not being able to see her kids as much etc. I really hate to disappoint her, but I'm afraid I am going to have to. But, since I so empathize with her, I could probably take an extra weekend or at least a Saturday here and there to give her time with her kiddos.

    I don't know who all works with her on her weekends; on my weekends I've got some wonderful CNA's and we mesh well together; I guess in part, I'm afraid to start over in essence, with a new crew etc.

    If you were me, how would you handle it?

    Blessings, M.
  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   caliotter3
    I would offer to accommodate her on occasion as you have stated, but I would not feel obligated to switch and put yourself at a disadvantage. Sometimes it is just better to leave things as they are, then no one can complain. After all, you weren't the one who originated the schedule I assume. So it isn't your responsibility.
  4. by   Be_Moore
    I agree with the above. Place yourself first, and then attend to the needs of others as you see fit. In the world of healthcare, if you don't put yourself first, no one else is going to either! There is a thin line to walk with helping coworkers / the facility out in times of need, and if you step off that line you could wind up getting walked on.
  5. by   UM Review RN
    Why is the choice between only you two? Is the facility that small?

    I would have to decline. My family time is what keeps me sane. I will not sacrifice my sanity for any outside entity. I'm sure she can find other options to solve her problem, but she won't look as long as you waffle.
  6. by   CoffeeRTC
    Don't do it. Your time with your family is important too.
  7. by   systoly
    Does this other nurse realize she is asking you to do what she doesn't want to do? I know you want to help someone else, but please don't do it at your family's expense. If you want to make a sacrifice and work with different staff that's one thing, but asking your family to bear the burden is simply not right. Again, I'm very suspicious of people who ask others to sacrifice family.
  8. by   soulofme
    NO! Plain and simple! It's not your problem!
  9. by   caliotter3
    This reminds me of a situation I went through. I had been hired with the understanding that I was attending school and might occasionally need accommodation for that fact. I asked to have my days off to coincide with a night class I was taking one time. I was given the days off but got told off and told to never ask for special favors again. This was right after hearing that a coworker (if you could call her a worker) had been given the days off she wanted after she asked for them. No school, no other compelling reason. Just that she wanted something. The agreement that my school would be accommodated had been thrown out the window in favor of someone who was good at buttering the apple. Do you think that for one minute this coworker cared that I was going to school and needed certain time off? The opposite was actually true. She took every occasion to denigrate me in front of others. And she made very sure that she got whatever SHE wanted, at the expense of others, if need be. So, take that as a lesson to look out for yourself first and foremost.
  10. by   firstyearstudent
    This may sound harsh, but it's management's responsibility to accommodate her schedule (or not). You should not feel guilty about not wanting to change your schedule to make a coworker's life easier. You have your own life to deal with. People were always pulling this crap with me at work (I can't afford a babysitter, etc.). I would help them out and somehow getting screwed myself (I'd be the one to end up having to pay a babysitter!) In the same vein, you shouldn't resent coworkers who won't switch or change their schedule to accommodate you. This is one of the ways that management has of pitting workers against each other. (You guys work it out.)
  11. by   NHNurseMan
    I have to agree with all of these posters. You need to take care of your situation first and foremost. In my experience I have found that most nurses, particularly new nurses try to be as helpful as possible, only to get burned out or simply burned.
    This nurse (me....;-}}) had to learn to set firm boundaries after 2 years of being a yes man. I changed shifts, schedules, days off, you name it. After a while the expectation was that I would do anything asked of me, and quite honestly I would. The final straw was being asked to work a w/e that I had asked for off for a w/e with my wife. I was astounded at the way I was treated by the associate director when I said no. I actually felt so bad that I called my wife and asked about working......I think you all know her answer (and I'm glad she put her foot down, because I couldn't). After that episode and reaction I went to the director and told her that I would sign up for any changes or extra shifts as I could, but the days of me saying yes needed to cease as it was affecting my home life, suprisingly she said she understood and would keep that in mind in the future.
    Most of us went into nursing because we love to help people. I found out that helping without boundaries is bad for everybody.
  12. by   mondkmondk
    Update: My ex hubby, my oldest son's dad just threw a monkey wrench in my plans. I think I will have to switch now if I ever want a weekend alone with my oldest. Right now my oldest is home the weekends I work. His dad was supposed to get him every 1 and 3 weekends of the month and somehow that is the opposite of what it is now. Now my hubby will have to change his weekends again. ARGH!

    Blessings, M.
  13. by   bluegeegoo2
    Gotta love them ex's....:trout:
  14. by   barefootlady
    Good luck on getting everyone on board this schedule plan. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Blessings to all.