I don't think my DON likes me very well

[mondkmondk]

For those of you who are regulars here, you may have remembered me asking about switching weekends not too long ago. Well, I told the nurse who was wanting to switch, that I would. I usually work every other Fri, Sat. Sun. Well when I switched weekends, I lost my Friday babysitter. I found this out just this past weekend and I've frantically called around, trying to find anyone, well not anyone, someone with experience, even if it is a teenager from the local high school. Alas, school is not out yet around here, so I came away empty-handed. I've left some messages and emailed people I knew who either knew some teens, had some teens that might want a bit of pocket money, or the actual teen themselves. I also put it out on Facebook that I was looking for someone. Not a one has answered my plea for help. So I called work today and got the DON that nearly fired me and I had to tell her that I couldn't work this Friday. I did tell her why, but she was really "cold" with me and hung up on me without saying good-bye. I feel really bad, but what can I do? Take my 21 month old to work with me??? Thanks for letting me vent....ARGH!

Blessings, M.

[caliotter3]

Well, I got one reply from my ad at craigslist but she wants $13/hr! For one child!!!! I only make $19/hr. so that is hardly worth it. I'm going to see if the YMCA will let me put up a flyer on their bulletin board...they haven't had a babysitter's class there in years. I'm still trying!!!!

And to the poster who said the DON has to keep her schedule...I agree with that to some extent, but this place has a ga-zillion PRN nurses listed at the bottom of the schedule...surely she can find a replacement for me just on Fridays until I find a sitter!!!!!!

Blessings, M.

Why don't you contact those PRN nurses yourself and ask them? If one agrees to do it, the two of you could approach the DON. I think she would be less likely to come off with a negative attitude if the two of you go see her together. Good luck.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Have you tried craigslist.org? Usually tons of babysitters on there.

who would use Craigslist anymore for services??? Yikes!!!!

[MassED, BSN, RN]

You know, in the past I have been in the same spot you are in as far as being to quick to agree to something and finding out it was a mistake. Here is what I learned the hard way from it. After that bad experience, whenever someone asked me for a scheduling favor I refuse to consent immediately. They always pressured me agree because they want to meet their needs reguardless of what it did to my life. Which when you think of it is very selfish. I say something to the effect I will consider it but I can't consent to it under pressure because I have this feeling there is a conflict. Often when a co-worker makes a request like this you are busy and can't possibly stop to think about it. Make sure they absolutely understand that you are NOT saying yes. Then give yourself two or three days to consider and usually if there is a conflict the reason will reveal itself to you. I think it is a shame that you can't go back to the co-worker and say this situation is making your life miserable and you have to back out of the agreement. But I know how it is because I have been there. I have to say that after that one time no one ever got me in the middle of a busy shift and talked me into a schedule change that I couldn't get out of again. I usually only make a mistake once.

I had a co-worker try to be nice and butter me up, hounding me to work for her a day. When I emailed her to work a shift for me, I couldn't get a response. She avoided me like the plague. Watch out for people who want an answer then and there. That should be a red flag. Inattention on their part is not your emergency and not your problem. You can help out and switch, but when push comes to shove and you need to switch back, you'll find out a fellow nurse's true colors. This is the reason that I work on the weekends to avoid any babysitting issues, EVER. My husband takes care of them and I know they're in good hands that can't cancel out on you. Your first responsiblity is to your family. I agree with other posters, only commit when you have a babysitter already agreeing to cover for you. It does suck you were in that position, but lesson learned. Good luck.

[barefootlady, ADN, RN]

Please take a few minutes to formulate a plan of action. Why can't you ask one of the prn nurses to work for you that day and then notify the DON you have arranged coverage for the shift? Have you contacted the Y in your area? Have you called the local minister and asked if he knows anyone who babysits? You seem to be paying a high price for this job, perhaps it is time to rethink the place of employment, the terms of employment, and the people you have as workmates. I wish you the best, but I think someone is tapping you on the shoulder and letting you know you are in the wrong place. Blessings.

[Nascar nurse, ASN, RN]

I agree with the others.. if there are that many PRN nurses available, you need to take the time to find a replacement for your shift. I understand your situation, I've had kids too, but it is unfair to think that the DON should just stop her own work to cover your call in unless absolutely necessary (that would be a full time job in itself sometimes!).

[Havin' A Party!, ASN, RN]

We no longer have babysitting issues. But am I the only to get a bit creeped out at the thought of using Craigslist for potential sitters?

[barefootlady, ADN, RN]

I never had a babysitter problem, sounds too good to be true, but back then it was just easier to find one, keep one, and they were good too. I would never allow a stranger to keep one of my kids or grandkids, NEVER. That is just not done here. It is either family, friends, or someone you know and know well. I have grown grandchildren, they have kids and they are carrying on that tradition. My great grandchildren have never been kept by stangers. I know we are lucky, but sometimes you just have to do what ever it takes to make it right for the kids.

[mondkmondk]

I agree with the others.. if there are that many PRN nurses available, you need to take the time to find a replacement for your shift. I understand your situation, I've had kids too, but it is unfair to think that the DON should just stop her own work to cover your call in unless absolutely necessary (that would be a full time job in itself sometimes!).

What???? There are 2 DON's in this facility...and if you are off the clock, you are not allowed to come in and view other nurses' phone numbers. We had a big inservice on this and confidentiality. Only a charge nurse or the DON is supposed to find replacements. Unless while you are working, and another worker approaches you about switching or something and then there is a form that the 2 of us fill out. I tried today when I went to get my check to look at the schedule book where I could see who was PRN, etc...the charge nurse simply handed me a schedule form and put the book up.

I gave this DON 5 days' notice that I couldn't work...at the very least, I didn't call in the night before like I know a lot of people do. I told her what was going on and if they are family oriented at all like they say they are in their ads, then that should go for employees too. I think this DON is this way to others too not just me. I love the A-DON (she was the one that hired me)...she seems to really care.

ARGH...I'm getting upset, I will stop now...

Blessings, M.

[achot chavi]

And to the poster who said the DON has to keep her schedule...I agree with that to some extent, but this place has a ga-zillion PRN nurses listed at the bottom of the schedule...surely she can find a replacement for me just on Fridays until I find a sitter!!!!!!

Blessings, M.

WOW, you guys are lucky!! since you dont "call in" often, I dont know why she is angry at you, maybe something else was bugging her,and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I agree with the advice to try and find your own replacement from your prn list,

BTW our facility offers financial incentives to staff who dont call in for 3 months, a bonus of sorts, up to 300 dollars, I guess u wouldn't qualify this quarter...but your reasons are valid

try not to be so sensitive to your DON's moods, you were right to stay home that shift....

[Nascar nurse, ASN, RN]

What???? There are 2 DON's in this facility...and if you are off the clock, you are not allowed to come in and view other nurses' phone numbers. We had a big inservice on this and confidentiality. Only a charge nurse or the DON is supposed to find replacements. Unless while you are working, and another worker approaches you about switching or something and then there is a form that the 2 of us fill out. I tried today when I went to get my check to look at the schedule book where I could see who was PRN, etc...the charge nurse simply handed me a schedule form and put the book up.

I gave this DON 5 days' notice that I couldn't work...at the very least, I didn't call in the night before like I know a lot of people do. I told her what was going on and if they are family oriented at all like they say they are in their ads, then that should go for employees too. I think this DON is this way to others too not just me. I love the A-DON (she was the one that hired me)...she seems to really care.

ARGH...I'm getting upset, I will stop now...

Blessings, M.

I certainly didn't mean to offend you. We obviously come from different perspectives. Our policy has always been that once the schedule is posted it is your responsibility to cover your own shift in a situation such as yours. All staff phone numbers are in a book at each nurses station (unless for some reason someone specifically requests to be kept off the list - which is rare).

Again, not to be argumentative, but from a managers chair... everyone has a problem, excuse, etc. It would take endless time to determine someones legit problems vs someone pulling my leg, etc & could also be accused to favoritism. While I understand a problem such as yours (been there, done that), I still feel staff generally needs to take some accountability for their own problems and help to find solutions to them. It wouldn't be because "I don't like you as your title implies.

Peace!

[morte, LPN, LVN]

I certainly didn't mean to offend you. We obviously come from different perspectives. Our policy has always been that once the schedule is posted it is your responsibility to cover your own shift in a situation such as yours. All staff phone numbers are in a book at each nurses station (unless for some reason someone specifically requests to be kept off the list - which is rare).

Again, not to be argumentative, but from a managers chair... everyone has a problem, excuse, etc. It would take endless time to determine someones legit problems vs someone pulling my leg, etc & could also be accused to favoritism. While I understand a problem such as yours (been there, done that), I still feel staff generally needs to take some accountability for their own problems and help to find solutions to them. It wouldn't be because "I don't like you as your title implies.

Peace!

if memory serves me, op only works w/e (fri-sun) if so, she will not have access to the phone #'s until after the fact, she also stated that only the don/charge are allowed to find coverage ......unless YOU are the one there.....

[mondkmondk]

Update: Good news...I still have a job and I think my boss was just going through a rough time last I spoke with her. I talked to her today and explained my position as best I could. She is going to take me off Fridays until I find a sitter...she was very nice to me and thanked me for calling back so fast. It was like talking to a whole different person...I work this weekend and I hope I don't displease her in any way...

Thanks everyone for your comments...

Blessings, M.