Really At Lost With My Girlfriend (Nursing Student) - page 2

I've been here before asking for advice. I hate to sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not. I just want to vent. I'm really ****** hurt. Excuse my language. Today was supposed to be a special day. We talked about it for a... Read More

  1. 0
    I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be unkind. You came here asking for advice. Based on your post I told you what I thought.

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  2. 0
    Hello, I want to start by saying I totally understand what you are going through. I will not judge you and say you're selfish blah blah blah because you are only human. Why don't you try spending more time with her during studying time? I know at my school we have a conference room and although you can't interrupt her you can at least be close to her. Maybe bring your computer etc. Relationships take sacrifices from both sides. It will be over before you know it so hang in there champ and try to be supportive and don't be afraid to communicate with her not make her feel guilty but let her know you are there even while she is studying :P
  3. 5
    These chicks are right. You need to grow up a little bit before you sabotage her nursing career. Nursing school is hard enough without someone constantly hanging on to the teat. I'm a dude, btw. So it's not just the chicks rationalizing for the woman.
  4. 1

    If there's anything I've learned from relationships it's that calm, collaborative communication is key. My husband and I struggled with this for awhile and then we saw a counselor/mediator. In our area we used Relationship Resolutions. They have people working on their licenses that charge a small fee ($50) for an hour. We went 3 times, it's improved our communication tremendously and my husband had many many hang ups about going to 'therapy' and he will even tell you how much it's helped.

    One major lesson we learned was to 'say what you mean' instead of being passive aggressive or trying to get a reaction out of one another. If you don't understand something just ask her and be aware of your tone of voice.

    Yes there are times where my husband and I realize we have to get over ourselves but most of the time we try talk to each other calmly to try and figure it out, otherwise it will build and build and then explode or cause resentment.

    Best of luck to you!
    BloopBloop likes this.
  5. 3
    Wow poor guy asked for help and everyone downgrades him! I think that you just want to feel like you still mean something to her! Nursing school is hard believe me - I'm two semesters away from graduating! I have four children and a husband and still find time to spend with them! Give her some space! It is frustrating in nursing school! Just do the best you can by standing behind her and supporting her to get through this! Show her that you are her biggest fan! Love her!
    BloopBloop, 16weeks, and which_path like this.
  6. 5
    You guys sound very young and inexperienced in adult relationships compared to people in their thirties or older. This is how we learned, however, and now it's your turn. So here's my advice.

    Bring her flowers once a month or so --- nothing huge and expensive, just a rosebud or two and some greens, a few paperwhite narcissus bulbs in a bowl of marbles to sprout (ask the florist), some daffodils in the spring, and leave them in water on the kitchen table without comment.

    After that, there's my very favorite Dave Barry quotation: " 'Shut up,' he explained."
    sharpeimom, futuresctRN, Bortaz, RN, and 2 others like this.
  7. 2
    Wow, people are harsh! Honestly, I don't think it matters how "busy" people are, they have to make time for the important people in their lives. It's not okay to continually put off spending time with a significant other/family member/best friend because you're too busy or too tired. That is selfish. Even when I feel like bawling my head off because I'm so stressed with school I make sure to spend at least one night with my family, books and studying aside. I need their support, and I want them to know that I care about them. I've waited for many people to get unbusy and untired enough to spend time with me, and the majority of them never did. Life is too short to wait around for people who don't really care. I'd rather spend my time trying to find someone who actually does.
    BloopBloop and WantToBeMidwife like this.
  8. 4
    Oh, and one other thing: When we are feeling tired, fat, ugly, having a bad hair day, none of our clothes look right (even if we don't appear to be any of these things to the other more rational people in our lives), remember this: We can always pick our earrings. You can always safely compliment those.
    16weeks, sharpeimom, futuresctRN, and 1 other like this.
  9. 0
    I've been where she is now. Nursing school is hard. The stress level is through the roof. My fiancÚ came down to my grandfathers funeral and I was absolutely awful to him. It will get better. Try to be understanding to her and realize how she is feeling. It's not easy for her at this point and she needs support. However, you need something as well. Tell her how you feel, but don't make it all about you. Explain that you are here for her and that you will support her. Sometimes all you will get is time together where she studies. Help her with it! Make her schedule work for you. It'll get better
  10. 1
    The fact that you are asking for advice says a lot. Give her time and space to rest, and let her know you'll be there when she has the energy to spend time together. Let her feel supported, but don't smother. Good luck and relax and enjoy the time you DO get with her!!!
    WordWrangler likes this.

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