left crying! - page 3

I dont know why but I left class crying today! We were doing health assesment and I didnt have a partner so I was just practicing on myself (lymp nodes) well the teacher made a HUGE deal out of it... Read More

  1. by   Room2Move
    I understand how you feel. At my very first check-off, my instructor YELLED at me because I wasn't moving fast enough. Well, that had the opposite effect that she wanted. I froze up like a deer in headlights and couldn't remember anything. When I finally finished the check-off, the instructor shot me a look and said in a demeaning tone, "You just don't get it." Just like you, I choked back my tears just long enough to get to my car.

    I thought my nursing school experience was over before it had begun. Well, a friend told me, "She's testing you. She wants to see how you'll act under stress." I made up my mind that I would not flunk that test again! I went back the next week and plowed ahead as if nothing had happened. I was never close to that instructor but I did get through it and made an A in her class.

    Keep your chin up and keep going forward as if this didn't happen. You'll earn the respect of your classmates and the instructor.
  2. by   Curious1alwys
    I am sorry this happened to you but apparantly, in nursing school, it is all too common!


    I agree with the other poster who said that nursing instructors can be so horrible! I mean, what gives them the right? We are paying to be there and to learn and we are adults, not five year olds! I am 29 years old and honestly, since entering nursing school, I feel like I have been transported back to elementary school with the meanest teacher I ever had! Actually, my teacher this block is really cool, but I already have "heard" about the others to come. So stupid! I just hope I can react calmly when the same thing inevitably happens to me.

    She was mean, it was wrong, but I do agree you have to "toughen up". Or atleast figure out how you are going to GET THRU IT. Because, if you want your degree, well I guess we just have to take it!

    I think your plan sounds good. Good Luck and let us know how it goes!
  3. by   Catys_With_Me
    [QUOTE=thrashej]She was mean, it was wrong, but I do agree you have to "toughen up". Or atleast figure out how you are going to GET THRU IT. Because, if you want your degree, well I guess we just have to take it!

    [QUOTE]

    I'd like to comment on the several recommendations to the OP to 'toughen up'. What does that mean exactly? That when someone of authority singles you out and humiliates you in front of your peers for something that doesn't even justify their ire, that you're weak if it affects you to the point of tears... even though you were tough enough to hold those tears until you'd gotten away?

    Crying's simply an expression of emotion. And we all know that emotions run high (and not unjustifiably) in nursing school. Not only do we beat ourselves up with our own doubts about whether we're going to be able to survive, we're also conscious of everyone else sitting in judgment of whether or not we "should" be a nurse. For an instructor to do such a thing when (IMO) the OP didn't even do anything wrong is despicable and not the easiest of things to just brush off without some kind of reaction and contemplation first. I don't think she needs to toughen up at all, it seems to me she responded in pretty normal, human way.

    Maybe I'm misunderstanding what y'all mean. Clarification?
  4. by   Curious1alwys
    [QUOTE=Catys_With_Me][QUOTE=thrashej]She was mean, it was wrong, but I do agree you have to "toughen up". Or atleast figure out how you are going to GET THRU IT. Because, if you want your degree, well I guess we just have to take it!


    I'd like to comment on the several recommendations to the OP to 'toughen up'. What does that mean exactly? Clarification?
    :imbar I just mean she will have to figure out how to deal with this teacher w/o leaving class crying. I am not saying that her reaction was not appropriate or justified, I am just saying she doesn't have a choice BUT TO TAKE IT if she wants her degree. I seriously doubt that they would end up firing this instructor for this; this sort of behavior seems like the norm in nursing school. Everyone has atleast one mean instructor in nursing school, usually.

    The OP has the greatest sympathy from me, I feel very bad for her and I am thankful I am not in her shoes. I don't think anyone is saying she was not entitled to react the way she did, I think we are just saying that she will need to find another way of dealing with this teacher if she wants to get thru school. Alternative is drop out???:wink2:
  5. by   GMD
    Key her car............................................... ..Ok ok ok ok, don't key her car, but believe in the power of Karma.
  6. by   tx2007
    Quote from GMD
    Key her car............................................... ..Ok ok ok ok, don't key her car, but believe in the power of Karma.

    THATS A GREAT IDEA!!! *****! thanks for the laugh! I talked to my classmates and another instructor about it today. They all said they would help me out with her if she did it again and the instructor said "she is like that dont take it personal and just get thru the class!" LOL Thanks everyone for your advice!
  7. by   curlyfries
    The instructors are going against the law by harrassing students to the point of tears. I believe that students should stand up and speak when this kind of situation arises. If speaking to the instructor doesn't work then go over her or his head, the chairperson of the nursing program. If that doesn't work then there are other ways to go around it. The worse option is to "toughen up," "grin and bear it" and so on. This is why we end up in bad relationship because we're so co-dependent! Gotta make everybody happy in the expense of my own happiness.


    I had my share of harrassment because of my disability/sexual orientation in the educational, employment, public and private arena. In situation where like in employment I would go through the proper channels to resolve the issue. But when it comes to goods and services, I just brush them off and move on. Yes at times I "tough it out" but in educational settings none of what you guys are sharing shouldn't be happening. Most educational institution are federally funded and therefore are mandated by law to equal opporunity, not singling out anyone to be subjected to harrassement.

    Yes I've studied law in my undergrad degree....guess that would put it to good use when I start nursing program. So far the nursing program that I am interested in are openly and accepting of my disability. In fact I am going to their open house next week.

    Moi
  8. by   HyperRNRachel
    Quote from GMD
    Key her car............................................... ..Ok ok ok ok, don't key her car, but believe in the power of Karma.

    DO NOT Key her car.....have someone else do it.
  9. by   BS Nursing Student
    I don't know this, but I am guessing that you are young. She took advantage and caught you off guard. I try to think of things to say to people like that. I had an instructor who always started class late. It irritated me. Once I walked in 15 minutes late and she reprimanded me in front of the class. I replied, "I didn't know that we were starting on time today." Everyone burst out laughing and the joke was on her.
  10. by   chattypattyCRNA2B
    There is nothing more frustrating than being misinterpreted and then having to sit there and listen to bull. Why don't you talk to her about it later in her office and tell her what the deal REALLY was, because people have a tendency to make assumptions and you don't want to affect your relationship or grades later on because she thinks you are not a team player or that you don't want others to do assessments on you. In regards to you crying, I think that was normal and expected. I would do the same thing. Nursing is stressful enough as it is, without you being zoned in on (in a negative way) by an instructor. It will get better.
  11. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Quote from hyperstudent
    DO NOT Key her car.....have someone else do it.



    OK, I know this is really not funny, as I have a key mark down the side of my black truck from when i worked at the high school. (I'm thinking it was someone I sent to the office..lol) ...But, sometimes thinking these things just relieves pressure. lol
  12. by   KatieBell
    As a future Nursing Instructor, I read this thread with some interest!

    First of all, practicing on yourself is probably not going to get you very far, and being assertive enough to ask the teacher, "I do not have a partner, do you want me to work in a group of three?" probably will. HOWEVER, I think the teacher was really out of line with all the threats about failure. Based on her misinterpretation, (I might have made the same one based on behavior), some comments about participation might be seen as valid, but threats of failure are really out of line. (I mean she has not seen this as a repeated pattern...) I also think it is still early in the school year, and the teacher could have easily said, Jill doesn't have a partner, how about working with Sue and John? Unfortunately, teachers are people too, and likely if she is teaching a skills lab, she is a fairly new instructor and is still trying out her role (not so great for you, but unfortunately the way it can be) so she may not be functioning at her best. So, probably, both of you have some growing to do.

    The concern is how are you going to get through the semester?
    Just ignoring this situation which has really upset you may not work too well. I'm not sure I'd address the teacher, but I would drop by my advisors office for some advice. Try to get to know more people in your class, so you feel less shy and more comfortable... (your fellow students can be such a great support through school- they are the ONLY ones that really understand what you are going through) As a Nurse, you will eventually be put in a position where you will need to be very assertive (ie: No I will not give this drug as it is out of the protocol to do so here...). So school is a good time to practice this. I'm not so keen on the idea of toughening up, but learning to let things roll off your back is always helpful.
    Keep your chin up. You can do a geat job!
  13. by   mediatix8
    Awe I'll be your partener
    Yeah I've had similar bad experiences with nursing instructors- it is clear and obvious to everyone that it's not that you were afraid to do the assessment on someone, but rather she said to get into groups of 2 and there was an odd number of students. There are people like this in the world, many of whom are nursing instructors. I've had a few bad experiences with other nurses both as a student and new nurse. Anyone who makes a scene, yells at you like you're a kid, or laughs at you either publicly or privately is unprofessional. You'll meet more people like this in your life, weather it be a patient, patient's family, doctor, other nurse, CNA, etc. It can be hard, but try not to let someone's opinion of you change how you feel about yourself. YOU know what the situation was and what was going on in your mind and that you were NOT afraid to touch a classmate's lymph nodes. I'm really sure your other classmates know that you were not afraid, that there was just an odd number of students. And if any of those other students treat you differently after this incident than they are just immature anyways and would likely have handled a similar situation if it happened to themselves a lot worse than you.

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