I feel like a loner sometimes.

[StudentOfHealing]

I'm not sure, exactly why? It's not a personality issue, I'm aware of my personality. I'm a very helpful person. I'm helpful in school and clinical. I'm also friendly.

I guess its ME, I don't call up friends constantly. In fact, after high school the idea of friends vanished. Everyone went off to college elsewhere, I stayed in my hometown for college and went right into the program ... No "fun period".

In prerequisites everyone was just into their own life.

In nursing school, we do go out as friends but everyone has their own family to tend to. I don't, I'm 20- I have nothing besides my career.

You'd think with so much free time, I'm always doing school work but actually I'm sleeping, I know I'm not depressed. I just sleep because I have the luxury, and I can. I'm tired, hello .... I'm in nursing school

Besides sleeping I spend my time always doing nursing stuff. Even stuff irrelevant to class, or washing funny stuff on YouTube.

This summer semester I decided to sleep less and pulled out ALL A's. Which, of course now I will repeat from now on. I'm going for A's until graduation and beyond when I start my BSN bridge.

I sometimes feel like I'm going to end up being a career person. Utterly devoted to working and school. Climbing the professional world and nothing else. I'm afraid of ending up all alone. O:

I just never get around to calling people up and saying, "hey lets hang". Its just NOT me. I can be sociable and all during school or clinical but I'm not a social butterfly in my personal life. I'm not shy, or anything ... As I've said... My career ME and my personal ME are different in regard to socialization.

My brother is a 180, he's a social butterfly ALL the time .... because he has to be. He works in politics and in fact is moving to Washington DC.

Anyone out there anything like me?

I'm also not interested in dating, I just become bored and annoyed. Like ugh ... I could be doing something productive or resting.

Sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel like I'm being selfish with my time.

I'm not sure where this thread best belongs. C:

I just needed to get this out.

[RNperdiem, RN]

I found being in the 20-22 age group a lonely time. After college, a lot of the company of peers and friends seemed to disappear and there are not many places for introverted young people to make friends after college.

What helped me was to develop an active hobby.

Passive hobbies are things like watching TV, browsing the computer, or anything that is watching not doing. Active hobbies are where you actually do something. I learned to ballroom dance and every Wednesday night went to dance class(met my husband there). My sister joined a scuba diving club and is off somewhere diving in the Caribbean.

A once a week shared activity with people who enjoy the same things will not drain all your free time, and you will gain a circle of acquaintances and maybe a friend or two.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Oh for heaven's sake.

Those of us that prefer solitude are not suffering from a dread social disorder, despite what the pharmaceutical industry may claim. We don't fit the negative stereotype of Ted Kazynsky, The Elephant Man or any other notorious "loners" (hate that word). We are not necessarily introverts, shy, hoarders, or victims of psychological trauma. There is nothing wrong with preferring one's own company to that of strangers. At 20, the OP is just on the cusp of adulthood & hopefully beginning to feel more confident in his own choices rather than blindly fitting into the herd.

[sesiliachan]

Actually I've noticed that after graduating from HS most friends (except your best friends of course) kind of move away from you. Everybody is always busy during the school year but HS friends don't even reach out to you in summer which I kind of found weird I mean we've been friends for a while. I've also noticed that in college everyone is doing their own thing, so if you really want to make a friend it should happen in the beginning of the semester and you should most likely become friends with someone who attends class every day and is early for class most of the time. As for your case, mm I don't know maybe you feel comfortable not being so sociable all the time? And I feel like people have different priorities in life. Yours is your education which is great. Actually I believe that you don't really need to look to find your significant other. Both of you just kind of meet halfway. That's what happened to me at least. Be patient and you'll get what you want! :)

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

I post this from time to time. This is me ... not literally, I am not Susan Cain, but she is describing me (and my summer camp experience, LOL). She could be describing some of what you are.

Susan Cain: The power of introverts | Video on TED.com

[TexRN, BSN, RN]

I'm introverted. I've done it all backwards. Highschool. Military. Found a husband and made two kids while still AD. Now I'm heading into nursing school. I liked the company of the horses I rode and trained. I never imagined, or planned to have a family. It just fell into my lap. They are the biggest motivators ever to do my best. You keep on keeping on. You won't be alone forever. You're taking care of YOU right now, and making sure that when the time does come for family and friends, that you're doing it responsibly. There is no shame in that.

[jwheeler7791]

I tend to be a loner myself for the most part and that made my 20's something of an interesting experience. I would keep to myself after work and do my hobbies in the company of my dog. It was bliss! I could read when I wanted too, sleep when I wanted too, and explore things that interested me. All of that changed however when I got married at 28 to the most outgoing, social, and extroverted individual that probably exists -- she's also Italian with a big family! I was in hell for a long time because I just couldn't bear to be around her large family who talked loud and were always together in groups of 20+ or more. Every time I would go to a social function it would wear me down to the point of near exhaustion. I need 'me time' to recharge my batteries!

However... after almost 10 years of marriage and approaching my late 30's, something odd started to happen -- I'm adjusting. I get my 'alone time' to recharge my batteries and can also tolerate 'extended family time' in bigger doses. I've learned that my introverted tendencies give me a strength that I can use in certain situations to my benefit.

tl;dr - Don't count yourself out just yet. Your still 'young' and will change quite a bit emotionally and mentally in the next few years. Most likely you will do things in your own time if that's what you choose to do. Look at your introversion as a strength rather than a weakness.

Good luck!,

Fellow Introvert

[Guttercat, ASN, RN]

To the OP, I say no big deal.

I too, was one of the younger folks in my nursing class (I was 22). However, we were a tight bunch. I think because we all felt we needed each other for moral support, but that didn't mean we were hanging out together all the time.

I have also never been a social butterfly, at all. But, I found having a couple of very compatible friends in class (even though they were married and with children), was so beneficial to the whole experience. The time spent taking hikes/jogs with them, or being invited to their houses on weekends for dinner and silly-fun was a great bonding time.

It's great to be alone with one's thoughts, but don't isolate yourself to the point of self induced lock-down.

Sometimes I think we solitary-types tend to avoid socializing because we're lazy...it takes energy to nurture relationships. There's a fine balance between being true to our personality, and writing ourselves right on out of living.

Also keep in mind that group dynamics will always depend on the individuals involved. You'll find this reality as a working nurse to be even more perfunctory.

It could be that your particular class group is just not that cohesive. I was lucky in my class in that as a natural solitary-type, I had those in my class that I just naturally clicked with. It's a shame if you can't find that in your class, because it truly enriches one's experience and can make it wonderful!

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

I was a loner when I was in nursing school because I was 54 when I began this second career, and was in a class with people just out of high school to people in their early thirties. I decided that it was their problem if they didn't want to get to know me. I graduated third in my class, and still love nursing even though I don't communicate with any of my former classmates.

[coco2014]

I am amazed to hear from a young person with so much dedication! I am 37 and in a class with several 20 something's that are more worried about what the latest boyfriend is doing or their friends. They often wonder why their grades are bad or they fail out (we lost 4 since last semester) Don't worry, you will meet people as you finish your BSN and spend time with co-workers, you will probably be on the same level socially. Remember they also just spent countless hours a week studying and as far as dating, honey its worth the wait! It sounds to me BSN is not where you will stop either, I would be proud if you were my kid and had so much dedication! Good Luck!

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

I wish I would have wasted less time studying and more time going out when I was your age.

[lynsylam]

I am 45, a mother of 4 teenagers, I live in Tucson (AZ) and going to BSN nursing(NAU) this fall. I am from a different cultural background. I came to this great country in 2009 seeking a better life for my family. I have trouble making friends. I don't know if it is my personality, my cultural background, or my age. While taking the prerequisites i did not really care, i mean being a loner did not really bother me, but now that i am getting closer to the professional milieu, i'm worried. Worried about the possibility of being left out, worried about not communicating properly with colleagues and classmates, and worried about not being successful in class and life. I feel the language barrier, even though I'm trying hard. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough, I don't know. If there is someone out there in the same situation as mine, please tell me how you overcame the obstacle.

[saraleigh, ASN, RN]

"I'm also not interested in dating, I just become bored and annoyed. Like ugh ... I could be doing something productive or resting."

Is it bad that I am so with you on this, and just celebrated my 6th anniversary? Not kidding at all...

Seriously though, I am sure you have been told this before, but I cannot help myself: Thank your lucky stars or whomever that you are naturally self-aware. I spent so many years (namely ages 20-29) not knowing the how and the where and the why of me; what do I really want and who do I need to be to attain that and so forth. And even then, many people never get it together enuf to make it happen once they figure it out (ever). I am thankful that it finally came together for me and I also am thankful for you "naturals" that always gave me hope in connecting the dots. Sometimes a random moment is worth much more than "hanging" with someone. For me inspiration and motivation takes many new minds to collaborate with, not just a few regulars.