I'm not sure, exactly why? It's not a personality issue, I'm aware of my personality. I'm a very helpful person. I'm helpful in school and clinical. I'm also friendly.
I guess its ME, I don't call up friends constantly. In fact, after high school the idea of friends vanished. Everyone went off to college elsewhere, I stayed in my hometown for college and went right into the program ... No "fun period".
In prerequisites everyone was just into their own life.
In nursing school, we do go out as friends but everyone has their own family to tend to. I don't, I'm 20- I have nothing besides my career.
You'd think with so much free time, I'm always doing school work but actually I'm sleeping, I know I'm not depressed. I just sleep because I have the luxury, and I can. I'm tired, hello .... I'm in nursing school
Besides sleeping I spend my time always doing nursing stuff. Even stuff irrelevant to class, or washing funny stuff on YouTube.
This summer semester I decided to sleep less and pulled out ALL A's. Which, of course now I will repeat from now on. I'm going for A's until graduation and beyond when I start my BSN bridge.
I sometimes feel like I'm going to end up being a career person. Utterly devoted to working and school. Climbing the professional world and nothing else. I'm afraid of ending up all alone. O:
I just never get around to calling people up and saying, "hey lets hang". Its just NOT me. I can be sociable and all during school or clinical but I'm not a social butterfly in my personal life. I'm not shy, or anything ... As I've said... My career ME and my personal ME are different in regard to socialization.
My brother is a 180, he's a social butterfly ALL the time .... because he has to be. He works in politics and in fact is moving to Washington DC.
Anyone out there anything like me?
I'm also not interested in dating, I just become bored and annoyed. Like ugh ... I could be doing something productive or resting.
Sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel like I'm being selfish with my time.
I am not necessarily an introvert but I love being alone! I need some alone time every day. I am almost 21 as well and in a tradtional BSN program so most students are around my age. I requested a single dorm room. Some of the other students couldn't believe I wanted my own room. They thought it was anti social.
I am also just not into partying. I went to the beach this past weekend with some close friends. They stayed up until 5 am drinking & hanging out. I was in the bedroom, asleep by 12:30 am. But I love having a few close friends because none of them pressured me to stay up once I declared I was tired.
I can totally relate to. I have had the same feelings/ experiences. I have no friends that I can share my experiences. I am not shy, I attended class parties but I can't seem to fit in even if I try to.
I am amazed to hear from a young person with so much dedication! I am 37 and in a class with several 20 something's that are more worried about what the latest boyfriend is doing or their friends. They often wonder why their grades are bad or they fail out (we lost 4 since last semester) Don't worry you will meet people as you finish your BSN and spend time with co-workers, you will probably be on the same level socially. Remember they also just spent countless hours a week studying and as far as dating, honey its worth the wait! It sounds to me BSN is not where you will stop either, I would be proud if you were my kid and had so much dedication! Good Luck![/quote']
When you mention the social level, I also realize I'm just not interested in what many 18-23 year olds find interesting. I'm not into Greek Life, taking random discovery classes, drinking and partying hard, and all that jazz. I'm not condemning it, not by no means. Even in my psychology classes I learned thats what most people do at this... That and crave relationships and all that..... jazz. That made me feel like a weirdo! I'm realizing this is me though and there's nothing wrong with me.
I mapped out my career in high school and my focus is my career. It is my mindset, it doesn't mean I can't have fun. Its just my goal right now. We're all different. Sure, I can try some activities like dancing as a poster suggested. Great advice, really from everyone. I'm concluding the key in all this is my own personal happiness. I don't want it to sound selfish, but if I want to enjoy genuine friendships with others, I need to be happy with myself. I guess it means accepting what phase I'm personally at, knowing my comfort zones, and just going with the flow.
Looking back I realize I've made 3 good friends. We're our little support group.
I am not necessarily an introvert but I love being alone! I need some alone time every day. I am almost 21 as well and in a tradtional BSN program so most students are around my age. I requested a single dorm room. Some of the other students couldn't believe I wanted my own room. They thought it was anti social.
I am also just not into partying. I went to the beach this past weekend with some close friends. They stayed up until 5 am drinking & hanging out. I was in the bedroom, asleep by 12:30 am. But I love having a few close friends because none of them pressured me to stay up once I declared I was tired.
You described me! I WOULD totally get a dorm for myself. I would not attend big parties.
I personally don't mind going out for coffee/food and cruising in the car. Out for a park day. That's my idea of fun... And all with close friends.
I too, was one of the younger folks in my nursing class (I was 22). However, we were a tight bunch. I think because we all felt we needed each other for moral support, but that didn't mean we were hanging out together all the time.
I have also never been a social butterfly, at all. But, I found having a couple of very compatible friends in class (even though they were married and with children), was so beneficial to the whole experience. The time spent taking hikes/jogs with them, or being invited to their houses on weekends for dinner and silly-fun was a great bonding time.
It's great to be alone with one's thoughts, but don't isolate yourself to the point of self induced lock-down.
Sometimes I think we solitary-types tend to avoid socializing because we're lazy...it takes energy to nurture relationships. There's a fine balance between being true to our personality, and writing ourselves right on out of living.
Also keep in mind that group dynamics will always depend on the individuals involved. You'll find this reality as a working nurse to be even more perfunctory.
It could be that your particular class group is just not that cohesive. I was lucky in my class in that as a natural solitary-type, I had those in my class that I just naturally clicked with. It's a shame if you can't find that in your class, because it truly enriches one's experience and can make it wonderful!
My nursing cohort has a bunch of little cliques. I don't like cliques. I actually notice I am talkative at school, I talk to everyone. I laugh with everyone. I just don't hang out with everyone or get personal with everyone. I associate with every clique. Which sometimes leaves me left out of one, but I kinda DO belong to a "clique", the girls I am usually with, study with, tell my woes too. Except I talk to everyone, so I'm not cliquey, if that makes sense.
@OP: Don't worry about being a "loner". As long as you don't totally isolate yourself you'll be OK. I guess I could be considered a loner because I don't have a large circle of friends and acquaintences but then circumstances of life sort of worked out that way for me. I grew up way out in the boondocks and my best friends and playmates were actually like cousins etc. Went to a small one room country school for my early education believe it or not. When I finally moved to the Big City after college I was significantly older than most of my cohorts both at work and then later at nursing school. I find that my personality, thought processes, and conclusions I come to about things seem to be different than most people's. But at the same time I do interact with others and don't shut anyone out. I just have a different set of life experiences and different frame of reference than most people so no I don't really have a wide social circle. And I'm OK with that. Trust me you'll do fine
When I was in high school I wasn't a social butterfly. I had my close friends and that was it. I was nice helpful and would go out of my way to help the person who seemed was the "odd man out"
Flash forward to nursing school... I too did things backwards had my daughter at 16, graduated high school and she was 10 months old. LPN done with minimal outside contact with classmates.
Went back to school for my RN and found myself surrounded by snobby rude cliques of women most being 5-10 years older than me. Most were rude and mean because I had already been a "nurse" as they would call it while doing quotes with their fingers for 3 years.
The fact that I already had the basics down intimidated them. I wasn't rude or condescending when I participated in class discussions or when I offered my view on a topic. They got their 8th grade attitudes going when I would finish an exam before them or when I wouldn't share my grades.
In clinicals I was refered to as a brown noser or teachers pet because I could run circles around them and was constantly seeking out new things to do. I'm sorry I had already inserted more foleys than I could count and didn't need practice with injections. So yes my instructor, who I knew on a professional level when working and she was a house supervisor, would send me to the cath lab the OR ICU or anywhere else I could get new experiences.
I went to class and clinical everyday wanting to learn more and increase my knowledge base. I had a positive attitude and it showed. While they were whining about how unfair something was or how horrible an instructor was or how they were so hung over from their "study" session the night before. I managed to get A's and increase my networking with other units and managers. All while working more than full-time with 4 kids at home and one on the way.
Having a friend in school is a great thing but not a necessity. Sometimes the politics and navigating the cliques is more trouble than its worth.
I swear, I read this and it was like I was reading about myself. I feel the exact same way. I'm about to be 20, in a month and I really couldn't describe it any better.
I didn't stay in my hometown, I actually moved out of the country. I go to school in Puerto Rico, and coming here was both the best/worst thing I've ever done in my entire life. I'm back to my roots, but I feel empty.
Vine videos, YouTube, Grey's Anatomy and House have been great great friends to me. :)
Let me know if you need any support :) You got a friend a few thousand miles away.
You remind me of me in some ways, but we have to be proactive in our lives! If we want change, we have to help change it! If you're happy the way things are then keep on rolling!
You are one step ahead of me! I have a couple of friends at nursing school, outside of school I have my family and that's it. I don't know if its me or other people or what. I just prefer to stick to myself I guess. most people are too much into drama or what not for me, especially when im more concerned with getting through school!
You are one step ahead of me! I have a couple of friends at nursing school, outside of school I have my family and that's it. I don't know if its me or other people or what. I just prefer to stick to myself I guess. most people are too much into drama or what not for me, especially when im more concerned with getting through school!
What the OP said and you've said is exactly what I'm going through. I've lost friends and people are hesitant to friend me outside of school and work because of my commitment to school. Ive matured and I hope to find genuine mature friends along the way. Its hard to find a good friend that will stick through. Ive learned my lessons and kept to my faith and dedicated myself to working hard from now on. I know ill persevere. I've always felt like an outcast and awkward. I believe every season has its change.
zoe92
1,163 Posts
I am not necessarily an introvert but I love being alone! I need some alone time every day. I am almost 21 as well and in a tradtional BSN program so most students are around my age. I requested a single dorm room. Some of the other students couldn't believe I wanted my own room. They thought it was anti social.
I am also just not into partying. I went to the beach this past weekend with some close friends. They stayed up until 5 am drinking & hanging out. I was in the bedroom, asleep by 12:30 am. But I love having a few close friends because none of them pressured me to stay up once I declared I was tired.