How Not to Get Taken Advantage Of

Nursing Students General Students

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So I made a resolution for this upcoming semester... I am not going to let people walk all over me!

I am highly efficient and crazy organized. My notes are renowned, I record every lecture (and type them into my notes), my calendar is impeccable, and I do crazy good outlines. Please do not think me conceited, organization is my forte' and I take it (and my studies) seriously.

The problem is, people know these things about me, and I feel they take advantage of me. "Can you email the lecture that I missed on Thursday", "can I copy your calendar on the copy machine", "I didn't have time to read can I copy your concept map" - you get the idea. There are those in my class that I have no problem sharing and helping, because I KNOW THEY WOULD DO IT FOR ME! These individuals help me when I have questions, or problems, and they are the people I keep in my close circle.

So my question is this, does anyone have some tactful, (possibly witty) responses I can give to people when they ask me for too much? We have a small class of 30, so it is not like I can be rude (NOR DO I WANT TO BE) because I still have to co-exist with these people... I just don't want to be their doormat every time they get behind.

Or be real funny and for laughs make some BS notes that aren't even about the class. Maybe just google "the psychology of being lazy" and copy and paste it into a document. Then grin and say "SURE" :)

Hahaha sorry maybe I'm just evil but that'll get them thinking right?

Ain't no body gonna have "notes" to share when you're two days away from taking the NCLEX!

And if you're worried about not making "friends" id be more worried about kissing instructor butt then making friends. When school is all said and done those same friends are gonna want the job you want. It's all about who you know and who's booty is worth kissin to have an "in" with some hospital systems!

So don't hesitate to say no ;)

Specializes in SRNA.

When I am in situations like this I find it is best to be truthful. You don't want to be walked on. People need to know their boundaries and respect that. You should not feel bad to say no. Those that are asking for your hard work certainly don't feel bad to ask. Just be honest and if they don't like it then too bad, but at least you're being real with your true feelings, and they will eventually stop asking. You don't need their approval and by saying no doesn't create tension or disrespect. It exudes confidence and self worth.

Why would you choose not to share freely and openly with anybody who asks?

I do some pretty good notes myself (my pharmacology flashcards posted on this site have been pretty well received) and I've always offered to share anything that I've created with anybody. It doesn't cost me a thing to email or post files for others to download and it's no skin off my nose if they're trying to do less work for themselves.

I suppose if a class were graded on a curve I might be more reluctant to benefit someone else but otherwise, once I've created my materials I'm fine sharing them freely.

I create my study aids for my own use and warrant nothing about them to anybody but I've no problem with letting others benefit from them and I don't really get why you wouldn't either.

And this I noticed long ago: Paying it forward will often have unanticipated benefits.

I have really good notes to and good grades and people know this about me. Do I hand out my stuff left right and center, NO WAY!! People really tick me off that are lazy and just skate by in classes and if they can't put it a little effort to do their work or try for that matter, then I am not going to help them. I've seen way too many people mooch and barely get by because people give in.

That being said, if it's someone I know who is just honestly having a hard time, or missed maybe one class (but not always missing class), I have no problem helping them. I had a girl come to me and ask me to help her study for finals last semester and I did, no problem.

I personally just tell them no. I'm not rude about it, but I'm also not there to make friends, I'm there to learn! I get I have to work with these people, but they aren't going to pass me and they aren't my references to get a job either. Just my personal opinion on it. Lazy people bother me and it scares me that they may make it through to be a nurse!

True.... But it's been my experience that having people in your debt proves to be very advantageous in the long run.

Yes but people who are lazy enough not to do their work normally aren't going to return the favor when it's needed.

And if you're worried about not making "friends" id be more worried about kissing instructor butt then making friends. When school is all said and done those same friends are gonna want the job you want. It's all about who you know and who's booty is worth kissin to have an "in" with some hospital systems!

So don't hesitate to say no ;)

Yes, but your former classmates could very well one day be in a position to recommend you to their boss.

How "lucky" you are in life is directly proportionate to the number of people who owe you favors.

Yes but people who are lazy enough not to do their work normally aren't going to return the favor when it's needed.

Maybe not in the form of them helping you with notes or studying. But who wants their crappy notes anyways.

The world of nursing is a smaller world than you'd think. Some of your current classmates will be your coworkers. Maybe even your boss.

And if you think "But lazy people don't get management jobs", you haven't been paying very close attention.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

Yes, but your former classmates could very well one day be in a position to recommend you to their boss.

How "lucky" you are is directly proportionate to the number of people who owe you favors.

^THIS...

One of the things I experienced in nursing school fortunately is we really helped each other out...we had the mentality of "we are only strong as our weakest link", ESPECIALLY when the class starts to get smaller, and it will.

In my accelerated BSN program, our cohorts were split between two campuses...ours had that "we are only as strong as our weakest link" where as the other cohorts were in constant competition, and it showed when those cohorts who didn't pass or withdrew from courses would have to join our class...it was a culture shock for them...most were able to become comfortable with us, some never meshed. And some of our cohorts who ended up at their campus felt the same way...they missed being with us because there was no cut-throat "I'm not going to help you because I need to jockey a position..." or "My study plan is FAR more superior than yours" mentality.

We were very open in sharing studying strategies, and usually I left it open to anyone who wanted pointers...If people needed notes, I was willing to share, and others did so, especially if me had to miss class...we were adult learners and worked; it happens. I'm sure there were people who didn't want to share, and those people I didn't treat any differently; that is their issue on how they feel about future co workers or supervisors...even though it SHOWED in clinical...;) :cheeky:

We have our own Facebook pg, to help support each other when we couldn't find a job, put information about jobs, CEUs, etc. The nursing community is large, but it is a community; people know other people, nursing programs and the like. No one gets into nursing school and is lazy, skating, by, etc; if they are, they usually don't last through the first semester.

Focus on success, be your own cheerleader as well as your cohorts...the attitude that you carry in nursing school prepares your attitude when you start your career. If you don't want to share your notes, or techniques, will you help out a future coworker if they need help? If you need help from this co worker, who may have a better technique, will you seek out their help, or drown??? Those are the factors one has to think bout when paying it forward, or karma, or whatever...you never know when you will need someone.

It's really not a secret on how to study for success...it's relative to the person anyhow...there no one guaranteed way that someone will take another person's notes and get an A...seriously.

When you get into nursing school, you will understand. It's not that type of party. :no:

And if you're worried about not making "friends" id be more worried about kissing instructor butt then making friends.

I am not worried about making friends. I am 39 years old and don't have time/patience for high school drama. Just like in real life, you can tell those who really care about you, and those are the ones I gravitate to.

Duplicate entry

I still see it as selfish not to share that which costs you nothing to share.

I preferred not to spend any energy considering whether various people were worthy; I simply chose to share freely with anybody who asked... actually, just posted materials to a server and sent links to everybody.

Specializes in public health, women's health, reproductive health.

I will share with anyone who asks me, also. I don't have time to decide who supposedly deserves it or not. I am very thankful to the people who freely shared valuable resources with me without judging if I work up to their standards. If I can help someone else, I will. I think it is precisely because people have shared with me, that I feel that I want to share with others. I like the idea of passing that along. I do work hard (managed to keep a 4.0 my first semester) and I find that doing well makes me want everyone else to do well too. *shrug* I won't help someone by cheating. But I will help someone with any materials I have to share that might help them study and do better.

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