How Do You Know When Classmates are Taking Advantage? (Long) - page 4

I'm in an uncomfortable situation with a couple of classmates who sit next me. I tape the lectures and spend many hours transcribing them, mostly because the teacher adds much more material than... Read More

  1. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I wouldn't even offer the tape. Sorry, like someone else said, i am more than willing to help people that ARE putting forth the effort (actually doing that NOW with a student in class, since she's struggling very hard to pass). But there's too many people looking for someone to sponge off of and not pull their weight and put in their own effort, and for those people, i send out a big "Too damn bad" to. The lack of planning and effort on your part does not make it an emergency or priority on my part.
  2. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    Well, Lizz, I really didn't think you and I would ever be on common ground, but here we are.

    I carried it one step further. I brought my laptop with me, typed notes and posted them to a yahoo group I created and moderated, so that my classmates could tap in and make use of them too.

    I figured, we are all in this together, sharing what I have is the right thing to do, it is part of being a team member.

    Not so. They shared nothing, they contributed nothing. They did complain a lot. They were rude in the online communications and when I asked for better behavior, threatened to "leave." (Wow. I was so hurt! NOT.)

    I'm not sure you have asked for advice, so ignore this if you don't want it: if I had it to do over again (although I needed to use the laptop, etc. due to a minor disability), I would ask my classmate(s) for copies of their notes, and, when asked for copies of mine, I think I would say, you know, I just got behind the power curve and I have only been able to listen to those tapes.

    For some reason, good and decent people who give are seen as pushovers and get little or no respect. It's really unfortunate, but it seems to work out that way.

    Share if you like, but don't expect anything in return. That way, if you get anything--even common courtesy--you can enjoy it.

    Best of luck,
    Chris
  3. by   Sheri257
    Quote from chris_at_lucas
    For some reason, good and decent people who give are seen as pushovers and get little or no respect. It's really unfortunate, but it seems to work out that way.

    Share if you like, but don't expect anything in return. That way, if you get anything--even common courtesy--you can enjoy it.

    Best of luck,
    Chris
    You're right Chris. And I am glad that we can finally agree on something!

    This is so true. If you do help, you're often viewed as a pushover. I didn't expect anything in return, actually. I just hoped they wouldn't try to take advantage of situation and put me in an awkward situation. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Sorry to hear that your study group essentially did the same thing.

    Take care.

    :spin:
    Last edit by Sheri257 on Apr 8, '04
  4. by   bluesky
    Quote from chris_at_lucas
    For some reason, good and decent people who give are seen as pushovers and get little or no respect. It's really unfortunate, but it seems to work out that way.
    Chris
    So sad, so true. Your classmates may be taking advantage of your generosity, but a couple posters here recognize and applaud your good will and good acts. :kiss

    Lex
  5. by   jemommyRN
    I'm glad you decided to just say no, Lizz.
  6. by   wonderbee
    Quote from Brickman
    All of the taping and transcribing is work that you are doing for yourself. I don't see how it would be any more trouble for you to give copies of the transcript file to other people who might need it. It really isn't any extra work for you. While you are in no way obligated to do this, I think you will find that helping people is all the reward you need. It is your choice whether you are known as the person who helps or the person who doesn't.
    It's called work product. Why in the world would someone feel rewarded after spending hours transcribing notes just to give that work product to someone who may have been sleeping or playing or whatever? Isn't time of value to every student?

    I don't know if these people are taking advantage of you but just the fact that you suspect that they are is going to cause resentment and added distraction that is a disservice to yourself.

    It's ok to be selective about the people you wish to collaborate with. And it's ok to expect to receive as well as give. Why not suggest that you all take turns transcribing the notes? You'll find out real fast what the deal is.
  7. by   Sheri257
    Quote from RNKittyKat
    Why not suggest that you all take turns transcribing the notes? You'll find out real fast what the deal is.
    They don't tape lectures and, quite franky, I'd be afraid to give them the tapes for fear I wouldn't get them back. Plus, I'm not sure they'd do a good job. With all of the work piling up for the end of the semester, I wouldn't have much time to catch up if they didn't hold up to their end of the bargain. So it's just too risky at this point.

    But thanks for the suggestion.

    :spin:
    Last edit by Sheri257 on Apr 9, '04
  8. by   irishrose53
    Quote from lizz
    I'm in an uncomfortable situation with a couple of classmates who sit next me. I tape the lectures and spend many hours transcribing them, mostly because the teacher adds much more material than what's in the textbook. It's a major pain, but it's a tremendous help when test time comes around.

    One of them asked me for the transcripts when she had to miss class because, she said, her son was in the hospital. I figured, ok, that's an emergency, so I gave them to her.

    Since then, she's either missed other classes or showed up and left early, missing lecture. She said she did miss one class because her son was in the hospital again, but I don't know why she left early during the last class. It kinda makes me suspicious about the hospital story, and whether she really needed to miss class or not.

    Similar problem with the other classmate. She begged me not to speak up and argue against delaying a test because she needed more study time. So I didn't. Then she doesn't show up for the test. I know she's going to ask for the lecture transcripts, since the teacher lectured on a bunch of material afterward, but I'm kinda peeved that I helped her out with the test situation, only for her to miss it anyway.

    I'm pretty sure one, if not both of them are going to ask for my lecture transcripts this week since they've missed so much material. And I'm sure I'll hear the usual excuses, but I'm not sure I believe them anymore.

    I like to help people out, because I may have to miss class at some point. But I can't help but wonder if they're taking advantage of the situation. Do I help them or not? If not, do I lie and say the tapes got erased, the tape recorder broke, or something? I do have to work with these people on group assignments, etc. so it could become an uncomfortable situation. And I'm not a great liar.

    What would you do? :uhoh21:
    It's easy. Tell them both you can't lend them the tapes because you need to study them. If you tell them twice in a row. They'll get the idea. Nothing can take the place of being in the class and participating. They'll never make it.
  9. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Or the good ol' "DARN, my recorder BROKE!" lol
  10. by   Fivestar22
    If you don't believe them, instead of making copies of what you transcribed, just let them borrow the tape. This way they can listen to it themselves, and take their own notes from it. I m really not sure why you didn't do this in the first place.

    Don't make enemy's in nursing school, b/c you are going to have to see those same people until the day you graduate, and who knows you may even see them after that. If your not comfortable lending the tape out to them, then ask them to bring their own recorders in and offer to record the lecture for them on their own tape recorder. Just a couple suggestions..... You'll never know when your going to be sick, or get a flat tire on the way to school, or have a family emergency? You might need one of these classmate one day.

    Five=Star




    Quote from lizz
    Actually, I agree. I've never done this before. But when someone tells you their kid is in the hospital, you feel bad and want to help. But now I'm regretting it because word got around about me helping with the transcripts. No good deed goes unpunished I guess. *Sigh*

  11. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    No one wants to make enemies in nursing school, but not one wants to scrtach someone's back and in turn have the other person stab theirs.

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