Dating in Nursing School

  1. Okay, now this scenario I am going to be telling you is pretty complex so here it goes. I am in my first year of nursing school on the BSN tract and I am currently in a delema I never thought I would ever be in during my entire college experience. First of all, I have a boyfriend of 2 years, and our relationship is... interesting. He makes me happy, he is a really nice guy, but as time has gone by, it seems more of a best friend-ship rather than a relationship, and this leads to the other large part of my dilema. There is this guy in my nursing class, who I recently had to come into contact with to ask him a question about a clinical project and then we started talking back and forth and back and forth and now he sits by me in class.. and we talk rather often and I really really enjoy talking to him. He is really good looking and I feel the physical attraction to him that I do not have for my current significant other, and that sounds horrible to say, and I myself hate to say it, but I just do not know really what to do. Also, this other guy is impressively smart, friendly to seriously everyone, and he is really sweet ot me and also very funny. I am not posting on here just to complain about my delema or use this as some type of dating advice forum, I figured that you fellow nursing students would be able to give me some perspective on the situation and let me know whether or not I should ditch this weird new person that is not really "in the picture" but just in the back of my mind often, or just what I should do...

    Thank you. I appreciate any input anyone posts! It means a lot.
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    About hemoglobin11

    Joined: Mar '13; Posts: 9


  3. by   Stephalump
    My suggestion? Find a new seat in class.

    Was there a dilemma before you started a friendship with this new guy? Or has the dissatisfaction only surfaced since you started nursing school?
  4. by   TalkLessSmileMore
    I think your dilemma is not uncommon for college students, especially when in such a stressful situation as a nursing program. Take some time to consider this: You're under a lot of stress at the moment, and your current boyfriend is probably "outside" of it since he's not a nursing student. Therefore, the probable disconnect you feel in your relationship could stem from the fact that he just does not understand what you're going through, yet Male Nursing Student does! While this may seem incredibly attractive, it may be the connection to your fellow nursing peer that you're attracted to, and not the person. However, if you and Male Nursing Student have more in common than your studies, you should consider your present relationship before venturing into a new one. Talk things out with your boyfriend, see if you both are in same places in your lives, and if he understands what you're going through in nursing school. If not, you both may just be outgrowing one another and going in different directions. However, you owe it to your partner to be honest and have this conversation with him first before setting up plans with another guy. Considering the stress you are already facing with classes, why add to it with potentially ruining a good relationship? If you continue to pursue your new friend, you may venture into a situation that will leave you feeling guilty and completely out of focus with your goal, to graduate and become a NURSE! I hope this helps, it happens to the best of us yet you are still in control here. Make a wise decision that you won't regret and won't hurt those closest to you.
  5. by   seriouslyserious
    you're not happy in your current relationship... get out of it.
  6. by   HouTx
    Ruh Roh!

    Agree with PP - one relationship at a time. You don't want to be 'that' kind of person.

    Think of the consequences of dating a fellow student. (As an instructor, I have been caught up in the backwash of this type of drama many times) What happens if/when you break up? When he is flirting with other students? When you become interested in someone else? Not good scenarios. Everyone else in the class will become involved and end up 'choosing sides'... Ugh.

    You have enough stress right now. Maintain your boundaries and just don't go there.
  7. by   Wrench Party
    DO NOT date your nursing school peers. I have seen this only end in tragedy at least 5 different times, with drama, tears and a lot
    of stress for the other students. I'm not interested in my professional program being a soap opera, I left high school at least a decade ago.
  8. by   Jennybrie
    I've seen a lot of first year students making the mistake of hooking up with or dating someone in class. You might not think it's a big deal but you are entering into a professional career and that professionalism should start in the classroom. Ask yourself the hard questions and do some self-perspective as to why you are feeling this way. Are you really attracted to your classmate or are you bored with your current relationship? Emotions run high in nursing school and sometimes you have to step back, breathe and assess what you're getting yourself into.

    Good Luck!!
  9. by   gabriellegoss
    I am dating a guy I've been in clinical with for the last 4 semesters. We started dating the very end of last semester. He was with a girl for 4 years prior and there was a week in between them breaking up and is getting together. Needless to say he is amazing and tells me time and time again that he made such a great decision regarding me. We had secret crushes on each other since day 1 but I never overstepped my boundaries in respect to his gf and neither did he. We became good friends last semester from studying together almost everyday. If it feels right, go for it. What's meant to be will find AA way. But if I were you I would wait another semester to see if his personality changes and to see if who he is showing you now is just a front or if he is genuine.

    Having a bf in the same program / clinical as you makes studying fun! And he will understand and push you to do your best if he is genuine.
  10. by   zoe92
    Quote from gabriellegoss
    Having a bf in the same program / clinical as you makes studying fun! And he will understand and push you to do your best if he is genuine.
    Not to be a Debbie downer, but there is always the chance of breaking up. I think the OP should wait awhile first or even wait until after graduation to start dating this new guy. Being together may make studying fun, but breaking up would make the rest of their time in nursing school hella uncomfortable.
  11. by   soxgirl2008
    My current boyfriend and I used to go to the same school and had all the same classes together. Sure, it's cute at first and you can study together, but seeing each other every second of every day gets old, and if you have a fight, you bring it to school and it affects school.

    I personally wouldn't just break up with my boyfriend of 2 years for this guy. Work on your relationship first. Are you Really attracted to this new guy? Or just bored in your relationship? As others have said dating someone that's in your nursing classes isn't always a great idea. What if you break up? Or you get jealous if he's flirting with other girls at school? That's going to make school very awkward. Your number one priority should be school.

    Work on your current relationship first. You owe that to your current boyfriend before you just run off with another guy
  12. by   satherp5
    Obviously you're not happy with your boyfriend or you wouldn't have let yourself get close to this guy in class. Sounds to me like you're just making sure he's better than your bf so you can leave the bf for school guy. Not exactly fair to bf, no?
  13. by   CapoTravers
    I'm in nursing school, too. My advice: worry about relationships when you have your license. Until then, focus on school! It was made quite clear before I started school that we would have to give up our social lives for nursing school. In my 3rd semester, I'm not sure I agree with that 100%, but what I do know is that the last thing I need is the additional stress of ending one relationship or starting a new one! While we're all different and indeed we all have different needs, I think if you're serious about nursing school, then you already know that getting through school is what you should really be worried about and not which relationship you want to be in.

    But you're an adult and should make your own decision! Good luck!
  14. by   SleeepyRN
    Well, I think you should very honestly evaluate your relationship with your bf taking this new guy totally out of the picture. If there were no other guy you were interested in, would you still have romantic feelings for your bf? If not, my opinion is to gently let him go. THEN pursue other "interests." Either way good luck and keep focused on school. It must be hard to deal with this kind of thing in school.