Your Thoughts Requested

[weezieRN]

My husband and I have been having this discussion since my DR recently found a nodule on my thyroid. What do you think or what would DR's think of a spouse requesting to be in the operating room during a surgery? Do you think it is possible, have you ever had anyone request this. I know it is probably something that people just don't address with their DR's but my husband is adament about this stuff, not wanting if something should happen for me to be alone with strangers if i should pass away. Your thoughts and ideas will be greatly appreciated.

[TweetiePieRN]

OH MY!!!! Weezie, if you really are a nurse--others have pointed out, and I tend to agree, that you certainly do not seem to have a good command of sentence structure, spelling, punctuation and grammar--you must be a VERY inexperienced one. Your nursing notes must get you called on the carpet frequently.

The CDC has gathered plenty of evidence that supports the fact--FACT, weezie--that nosocomial (now called hospital aquired) post-op infection infections are most often attributed TO POOR HANDWASHING AMONG HEALTHCARE PROVIDERS ON THE FLOORS!!!

We take sterility and the patient's safety very, very seriously in the operating room. It is not a nicety; it is our JOB. All patients get pre-op antibiotics and, if the surgery lasts long enough, intra-op antibiotics. We keep the traffic flow down in the room, unnnecessary personnel OUT of the room (HINT: YOUR HUSBAND'S PRESENCE IS NOT NECESSARY FOR THE DELIVERY OF DIRECT PATIENT CARE) and laminar flow going for continuous air exchange.

In the rare event that an infection is traced back to the operating room, it is a very, very serious event--a sentinal event. Autoclave logs for that day must be checked; entire loads of instruments might be pulled off the shelves; each person in the room that day is interviewed to try to track down what went wrong. I have seen people put on administrative sick time pending nasal cultures to find out if they were carriers of various strains of strep. Even housekkeping is interviewed. Incident reports must be filled out. Infection control gets involved. The CDC or OSHA may even come on board, as might JCAHO. That particular room might be quarantined, pending room cultures.

I actually have been in ORs where the mothers of babies and young children were allowed to come in just during induction and hold the child on her lap. They leave immediately after the baby is rendered unconscious. I beleive the babies probably do better; there must be studies supporting the practice, or they would not allow it.

You, weezie, are not a baby or a young child. You are a grown up, and supposedly a health care professional. For heaven's sake, act like one and realize that rules are in place for a good reason. If you are anxious, wear some headphones with soothing music as you drift off to sleep.

Can't resist one last comment--again, as others have pointed out, did you really think that any of us would buy the idea that DH Glenn was posting? How odd that his sentence structure, spelling, punctuation and grammar are JUST LIKE YOURS!! IDENTICAL, in fact!! Maybe that's what makes the two of you "soul mates?"

Nahhhh-- a more accurate description of you, and you alone, is "Norman Bates."

Great post! You had me shaking my head "yes" throughout!! I thought that it was pretty pathetic for Weezie to even invite her "DH" to the board. How old are we? Should I call my mommy and have her stick up for me on here if I catch some resistance? :rotfl:

[jayna, RN]

weezie-I so hope that you and DHglenn get your wishes and someday die in each others arms...that ain't very likely to occur naturally in real life but you can always have hope.You very respectfully asked for the board's opinion on this matter and then because it was not what you wanted to hear you and DH accuse the board of flaming you and being bad nurses...Any reasonable person can understand the problem with what you propose...As good nurses we KNOW that there is way more going on then what we see here-there are other reasons why you and your DH feel so strongly about your up-coming procedure...You need to talk to your doc about this-hopefully he can assuage some of your fears...

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[jayna, RN]

Great post! You had me shaking my head "yes" throughout!! I thought that it was pretty pathetic for Weezie to even invite her "DH" to the board. How old are we? Should I call my mommy and have her stick up for me on here if I catch some resistance? :rotfl:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[jayna, RN]

Some of us nurses couldn't get it, aren't we. Let me ask, how are we taught regarding hospital - acquired infection? :

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

weezie did you see this post? [color=dimgray]think about whether you want your husband's last memory of you to be in the or *if* you should die. you will not be aware and hurting, but he certainly would be.

you want your husband in the room in case something should go wrong and you were to die. however, if you did arrest it is likely that staff will not be able to support your distraught husband, that he will see your body cut open as they try internal massage, there will be blood everywhere, no one will be able to treat your body with the gentleness that he would, and he will be among strangers as he tries to cope with a gory, chaotic loss. if, god forbid, you knew you were going to die during the surgery, and you could choose the situation for him, is that the memory you want him to be left with?

are there other reasons you want him present while you are under anesthesia? given the scene i have presented you can see why families are not allowed to go into the or, even in extremely risky cases. if you have other concerns let us know, we may be able to help in some way.

[chris_at_lucas_RN, RN]

As for the OP being a nurse, nobody asked me for my credentials when I joined this BB, so I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people who aren't who they say they are, since the idea of getting into the insides of a nurses' discussion board must be attractive to people who think illness and surgery and potentially embarassing procedures are fascinating.

Although unless you are a nurse, this could get real old, real quick.

Basically, what we have here is a panicky patient. But she's not facing emergency surgery, she's going to have an elective procedure.

She's got two choices. Do it according to the rules (designed with the patient's best interests at heart, if for no other reason than to keep hospitals and practitioners from getting sued) or don't do it. That's her choice. No discussion. (This is like raising children. Don't get emotionally involved in the child's crisis--lay out the limits, define potential outcomes of the choices, and then leave the child alone to make his/her choice and accept the consequences.)

Meantime, that panic, lack of insight and belligerance has got to be getting in the way in other places as well.

So, weezie, whether you have the surgery or not, whether DH is in there or not, whether you "win" this thing or not, get yourself some short term, solution focused counseling. The purpose is to clear your frame of mind, not to attempt to force one more person to agree with you. Then, make your decision about whether you are going to have the procedure. There are plenty of people running around with thyroid nodules that don't know it--they're, well, running around with thyroid nodules! It makes sense to have it out, but you don't have to. It is not immediately life threatening!

If you are still anxious after a couple or three good therapy sessions, get your doc to prescribe a short course of an anxiolytic--that's a drug that "cuts" anxiety. Benzos are good, and if you stop taking them when you are supposed to, they are much, much less likely to generate dependency or withdrawal problems.

And for DH Glenn, I wouldn't begin to try to fix that fellow. But, he does appear to love his wife-- (you know, I didn't suspect that it was really her saying she was him, until there were too many misspellings as if to "fake bad." Her own spelling seemed pretty good, just long, long paragraphs and long, long sentences. But that's probabably because she is over-wrought.)

Twilight zone, my eye. This is Twin Peaks if there ever was one!

And now, I too am gone. Good luck, weezie.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

This goes far beyond the text book stuff, it goes into what nursing should be "CARING" no flaming intended. Did any of you poster ever want to be in with a family or spouse, child just to allay your fears as well as theirs. To me it is not much to ask

Allowances ARE made for children,the demented and the mentally challenged (:stone and I am NOT going to ask the schmart azz comment that I really really want to ask now) I see that your posts are becoming a bit more reasonable and I hope venting your feelings here has helped...We do make allowances and do the little extras wherever appropriate but for the good of the patient sometimes limits MUST be set...Yes-it IS all about the patient but not when it goes against the goals of treatment in such a dangerous way..

[mattsmom81]

Yes-it IS all about the patient but not when it goes against the goals of treatment in such a dangerous way..

I don't believe it IS 'all about the patient'. We have great liability in healthcare today. Healthcare workers deserve to be provided the optimal environment to safely perform the high tech work we do today. Facilities seem to be ignoring that part of the equation, which they are responsible for. This concept of 'optimal environment of practice' goes out the window when facilities refuse to put any limits on visiting, IMO.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

I don't believe it IS 'all about the patient'. We have great liability in healthcare today. Healthcare workers deserve to be provided the optimal environment to safely perform the high tech work we do today. Facilities seem to be ignoring that part of the equation, which they are responsible for. This concept of 'optimal environment of practice' goes out the window when facilities refuse to put any limits on visiting, IMO.

I agree with you but I also believe that the patients are also customers and must be provided acceptable service....If they can not get it at your hospital they can go down the road to another...I feel that the definition of "acceptable care" is very fluid...Yes-limits need to be set but health care consumers are way more educated now (or at least they think they are) and they want to be part of the health care team....We all need administration that stands firmly behind us as we try to adjust and we have to be willing to find a balance...The old controlling and rigid approach just does not work---but neither does total freedom for the patients and their families..that's just chaos...

[stevierae]

I agree with you but I also believe that the patients are also customers and must be provided acceptable service....If they can not get it at your hospital they can go down the road to another...I feel that the definition of "acceptable care" is very fluid...Yes-limits need to be set but health care consumers are way more educated now (or at least they think they are) and they want to be part of the health care team....We all need administration that stands firmly behind us as we try to adjust and we have to be willing to find a balance...The old controlling and rigid approach just does not work---but neither does total freedom for the patients and their families..that's just chaos...

I, too believe that patients are consumers, and delivery of health care the product--that said, they do not get carte blanche to call the shots in OUR territory.

Hospitals are not high class hotels, and nursing supervisors and hospital administrators are not ever accomodating concierges who will met any and all patient or family demands, however unreasonable, and especially from adults who should know better.

At least, they shouldn't be. I have read of hospitals where now the patients must get a chocolate on their pillows every night. PLEASE!!!!!

Often with demanding patients, a happy compromise can be reached. I do not think that this is possible with weezy and DHGlenn. They will simply be invited to take their business elsewhere.

[stevierae]

weezie-I so hope that you and DHglenn get your wishes and someday die in each others arms...that ain't very likely to occur naturally in real life but you can always have hope.

They probably have a "Sid and Nancy" suicide pact already worked out so that they can go out together, in a blaze of glory...

[CCU NRS]

I dont know if i should be on here but dont really care after listening to what you have been saying to my wife ifeel i need to be.I dont know who ccu nrs is but your a sick person my wife is most certainly a rn and in the near future will be working on a masters degree im not asking for anything special i love my wife and believe that if anything is to happen the one person on the face of the earth that should be there is me and i want her with me if i am in the same position. listening to half of you i wouldn't want you taking care of me because there's no caring just another piece of meat on the table. history was full of change and i believe your all afraid of it im sorry im stepping on your toes but in my marriage vows it said to have and to hold until death due us part, not until hospital administration steps in. I know you still dont understand and im not going to waste anymore time trying we love each other thats the bottum line and i wish you would stop bashing her for it. sorry for all the errors i dont wright much. thanks glenn

your post makes it completely clear that you don't unuderstand the workings of Medical facilities and medical personel

I am not sure which of my posts you are alluding to to call a sick person but in one of my posts I mentioned that NO ONE dies in OR, they very rarely allow anyone to die in OR because of the problems surrounding such a situation , people are taken out of OR and to recovery or CCU to pass rahter than die in OR

ps on her profile it says she is a CNA working on an RN education.