Your Thoughts Requested - page 6

My husband and I have been having this discussion since my DR recently found a nodule on my thyroid. What do you think or what would DR's think of a spouse requesting to be in the operating room... Read More

  1. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    As for the OP being a nurse, nobody asked me for my credentials when I joined this BB, so I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people who aren't who they say they are, since the idea of getting into the insides of a nurses' discussion board must be attractive to people who think illness and surgery and potentially embarassing procedures are fascinating.

    Although unless you are a nurse, this could get real old, real quick.

    Basically, what we have here is a panicky patient. But she's not facing emergency surgery, she's going to have an elective procedure.

    She's got two choices. Do it according to the rules (designed with the patient's best interests at heart, if for no other reason than to keep hospitals and practitioners from getting sued) or don't do it. That's her choice. No discussion. (This is like raising children. Don't get emotionally involved in the child's crisis--lay out the limits, define potential outcomes of the choices, and then leave the child alone to make his/her choice and accept the consequences.)

    Meantime, that panic, lack of insight and belligerance has got to be getting in the way in other places as well.

    So, weezie, whether you have the surgery or not, whether DH is in there or not, whether you "win" this thing or not, get yourself some short term, solution focused counseling. The purpose is to clear your frame of mind, not to attempt to force one more person to agree with you. Then, make your decision about whether you are going to have the procedure. There are plenty of people running around with thyroid nodules that don't know it--they're, well, running around with thyroid nodules! It makes sense to have it out, but you don't have to. It is not immediately life threatening!

    If you are still anxious after a couple or three good therapy sessions, get your doc to prescribe a short course of an anxiolytic--that's a drug that "cuts" anxiety. Benzos are good, and if you stop taking them when you are supposed to, they are much, much less likely to generate dependency or withdrawal problems.

    And for DH Glenn, I wouldn't begin to try to fix that fellow. But, he does appear to love his wife-- (you know, I didn't suspect that it was really her saying she was him, until there were too many misspellings as if to "fake bad." Her own spelling seemed pretty good, just long, long paragraphs and long, long sentences. But that's probabably because she is over-wrought.)

    Twilight zone, my eye. This is Twin Peaks if there ever was one!

    And now, I too am gone. Good luck, weezie.
  2. by   ktwlpn
    Quote from weezieRN
    This goes far beyond the text book stuff, it goes into what nursing should be "CARING" no flaming intended. Did any of you poster ever want to be in with a family or spouse, child just to allay your fears as well as theirs. To me it is not much to ask
    Allowances ARE made for children,the demented and the mentally challenged (:stone and I am NOT going to ask the schmart azz comment that I really really want to ask now) I see that your posts are becoming a bit more reasonable and I hope venting your feelings here has helped...We do make allowances and do the little extras wherever appropriate but for the good of the patient sometimes limits MUST be set...Yes-it IS all about the patient but not when it goes against the goals of treatment in such a dangerous way..
  3. by   mattsmom81
    Quote from ktwlpn
    Yes-it IS all about the patient but not when it goes against the goals of treatment in such a dangerous way..
    I don't believe it IS 'all about the patient'. We have great liability in healthcare today. Healthcare workers deserve to be provided the optimal environment to safely perform the high tech work we do today. Facilities seem to be ignoring that part of the equation, which they are responsible for. This concept of 'optimal environment of practice' goes out the window when facilities refuse to put any limits on visiting, IMO.
  4. by   ktwlpn
    Quote from mattsmom81
    I don't believe it IS 'all about the patient'. We have great liability in healthcare today. Healthcare workers deserve to be provided the optimal environment to safely perform the high tech work we do today. Facilities seem to be ignoring that part of the equation, which they are responsible for. This concept of 'optimal environment of practice' goes out the window when facilities refuse to put any limits on visiting, IMO.
    I agree with you but I also believe that the patients are also customers and must be provided acceptable service....If they can not get it at your hospital they can go down the road to another...I feel that the definition of "acceptable care" is very fluid...Yes-limits need to be set but health care consumers are way more educated now (or at least they think they are) and they want to be part of the health care team....We all need administration that stands firmly behind us as we try to adjust and we have to be willing to find a balance...The old controlling and rigid approach just does not work---but neither does total freedom for the patients and their families..that's just chaos...
  5. by   stevierae
    Quote from ktwlpn
    I agree with you but I also believe that the patients are also customers and must be provided acceptable service....If they can not get it at your hospital they can go down the road to another...I feel that the definition of "acceptable care" is very fluid...Yes-limits need to be set but health care consumers are way more educated now (or at least they think they are) and they want to be part of the health care team....We all need administration that stands firmly behind us as we try to adjust and we have to be willing to find a balance...The old controlling and rigid approach just does not work---but neither does total freedom for the patients and their families..that's just chaos...
    I, too believe that patients are consumers, and delivery of health care the product--that said, they do not get carte blanche to call the shots in OUR territory.

    Hospitals are not high class hotels, and nursing supervisors and hospital administrators are not ever accomodating concierges who will met any and all patient or family demands, however unreasonable, and especially from adults who should know better.

    At least, they shouldn't be. I have read of hospitals where now the patients must get a chocolate on their pillows every night. PLEASE!!!!!

    Often with demanding patients, a happy compromise can be reached. I do not think that this is possible with weezy and DHGlenn. They will simply be invited to take their business elsewhere.
  6. by   stevierae
    Quote from ktwlpn
    weezie-I so hope that you and DHglenn get your wishes and someday die in each others arms...that ain't very likely to occur naturally in real life but you can always have hope.
    They probably have a "Sid and Nancy" suicide pact already worked out so that they can go out together, in a blaze of glory...
  7. by   CCU NRS
    Quote from weezieRN
    I dont know if i should be on here but dont really care after listening to what you have been saying to my wife ifeel i need to be.I dont know who ccu nrs is but your a sick person my wife is most certainly a rn and in the near future will be working on a masters degree im not asking for anything special i love my wife and believe that if anything is to happen the one person on the face of the earth that should be there is me and i want her with me if i am in the same position. listening to half of you i wouldn't want you taking care of me because there's no caring just another piece of meat on the table. history was full of change and i believe your all afraid of it im sorry im stepping on your toes but in my marriage vows it said to have and to hold until death due us part, not until hospital administration steps in. I know you still dont understand and im not going to waste anymore time trying we love each other thats the bottum line and i wish you would stop bashing her for it. sorry for all the errors i dont wright much. thanks glenn
    your post makes it completely clear that you don't unuderstand the workings of Medical facilities and medical personel
    I am not sure which of my posts you are alluding to to call a sick person but in one of my posts I mentioned that NO ONE dies in OR, they very rarely allow anyone to die in OR because of the problems surrounding such a situation , people are taken out of OR and to recovery or CCU to pass rahter than die in OR

    ps on her profile it says she is a CNA working on an RN education.
  8. by   weezieRN
    CCU NRS

    Where do you see on my profile that I am a CNA? That is not even a choice under the educational profile. My orginal profile contained my date passing my RN boards which stated "new RN 8/12/03". I have since changed that so no one can criticize me for being a "new" nurse.

    To everyone who has criticized my spelling, grammar and punctuation, I would not even stoop to that level, that is just down right nasty. EVERYONE makes typographical errors and to tell you the truth on this BB board I see it all the time but do I comment on it, NO. Let's stop acting like children! I thought we were here to support each other and our profession, not to be judgemental towards others. I just asked a simple question of "yes or no" to seeing or allowing people in the OR, did not expect all that followed. So please forgive my comments in my posts, as I feel I had to be defensive, because I felt I was being attacked. I fully understand the reasoning for things related to the OR but I still feel the way I did before.

    To chris de Lucas, I am not depressed or have anxiety about the surgery, if I have it at all. Need to get a biopsy first. I am one of the most happy-go-lucky people around and of the few people who do not take antidepressants. Norman Bates, come on! Just wanted a question answered. I am not a psychotic person, just have feelings, thoughts and wishes just as we all do.

    PS, How was my grammar and spelling?
  9. by   stevierae
    Quote from weezieRN
    CCU NRS

    Where do you see on my profile that I am a CNA? That is not even a choice under the educational profile. My orginal profile contained my date passing my RN boards which stated "new RN 8/12/03". I have since changed that so no one can criticize me for being a "new" nurse.

    To everyone who has criticized my spelling, grammar and punctuation, I would not even stoop to that level, that is just down right nasty. EVERYONE makes typographical errors and to tell you the truth on this BB board I see it all the time but do I comment on it, NO. Let's stop acting like children! I thought we were here to support each other and our profession, not to be judgemental towards others. I just asked a simple question of "yes or no" to seeing or allowing people in the OR, did not expect all that followed. So please forgive my comments in my posts, as I feel I had to be defensive, because I felt I was being attacked. I fully understand the reasoning for things related to the OR but I still feel the way I did before.

    To chris de Lucas, I am not depressed or have anxiety about the surgery, if I have it at all. Need to get a biopsy first. I am one of the most happy-go-lucky people around and of the few people who do not take antidepressants. Norman Bates, come on! Just wanted a question answered. I am not a psychotic person, just have feelings, thoughts and wishes just as we all do.

    PS, How was my grammar and spelling?
    Actually--I do not think that weezie wrote this. The thought process seems just a little too organized. Where is the hysteria?
    Last edit by stevierae on Apr 30, '04
  10. by   canoehead
    does anyone remember the three billy-goats-gruff fairy tale and who lived under that bridge?
  11. by   stevierae
    Quote from canoehead
    does anyone remember the three billy-goats-gruff fairy tale and who lived under that bridge?
    You are not saying weezie is a troll, are you?
  12. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    I can usually follow a metaphor, but I'm lost on this one.

    Yeah, I remember it--loved that story! But can't see the connection. Please, a little clue or two.
  13. by   gypsyatheart
    Quote from chris_at_lucas
    I can usually follow a metaphor, but I'm lost on this one.

    Yeah, I remember it--loved that story! But can't see the connection. Please, a little clue or two.
    I remember it too, but all I'm coming up with is "troll" also....

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