You know you've been a nurse for too long when.......... - page 5
My first thought last night when I got my patient's blood all over my scrubs was, bugger, I am going to have to do my laundry tonight now, instead of tomorrow. No consideration of how awful it... Read More
Jul 15, '12all true stories...
when you go to to the supermarket and hear someone give a good juicy cough and you say, reflexively, "that's good; do it again, deep breath..."
when your new-mom daughter calls and says, "if i email you a picture of a rash will you tell me if i need to take her to the doctor?"
when your adolescent son asks you, "did you have migraines more when you had your menstrual period?" because his girlfriend does, and you say, "yeah, but not so much since i got perimenopausal," and keep on stirring the gravy.
when your gyn surgeon asks you how you're doing 2 weeks post hysterectomy and you tell him you've already checked to see if you're still orgasmic, but because he looks so horrified you tell him not to worry because you used sterile lube and no vaginal penetration to bust up his cuff stitches. (we are very fond of each other, even though we only see each other once a year, and of course, he sees rather more of me than i do of him -- another doc who loves women and who loves nurses. i'll be so sorry when he retires.)Last edit by nurseprnRN on Jul 15, '12
Jul 16, '12I get really excited over urine, like yellow straw-colored urine. I work on a post-heart cath floor and we do see a lot of acute renal failure due to IV contrast dye. And its too funny when my hubby sometimes forgets to flush the toilet and I can tell he is dehydrated due to being a factory worker, no air, and 110 degrees, I will instruct him to increase his fluids because his urine 'sample' looked awful, Bahaha he looks at me sideways like 'really.......are you serious?' lol
Jul 16, '1217 years later here are mine:
1. at the mall, i mentally diagnose people who look ill and turn into a store to avoid being present if they fall out.
2. my icu patient who has been circling the drain for a week looks worse on my shift of course and i'm thinking "just make it to 715am, 715 am".
3. i get off every elevator when a very pregnant woman enters it, every single time (childbirth is my nemisis).
4. when a real vtac alarm excites the new staff and i roll your eyes and think "seriously? i was just going to pee dang it!"
5. in the er tonight, a terrified person ran in screaming there was a dead person on the sidewalk. we all go running out to find our regular drunkard out there, not dead. we all said in unison, "ohhhh, that's just joe". the do-gooder looked on in astonishment as we woke him up and told him to get off the property and go home. (lives a block down, this happens frequently, if we don't see him passed out on property every few days, then we worry).
6. i set my er schedule to avoid working on full moon nights
7. my er has not three but four frequent flyers that fake seizures. we have an unofficial contest to see who can get any of these goof balls to be tricked into waking up. this week i came up with... "doctor, i think the patient is dead, should i call for a spot in the morgue?" and not a single one came in/or was assigned to me and i'm saving it for this week then.
Jul 17, '12When your child, as a preschooler, gets into an argument with another preschooler about how babies are born. My daughter was convinced they're all born by C-section. Yeah, that was a pleasant conversation with another mother's child. LOL
When the same child, now entering kindergarten, gets into an argument with her teacher. The teacher pointed to the child's knee and asked what that's called. Daughter promptly answered, "That's my patella." Teacher marked her wrong. Daughter got mad and tearfully asked me to tell the teacher that it really IS a patella. The teacher sweetly explained that she meant the knee....daughter angrily told her that if that's what she wanted, she shouldn't have pointed at the BONE. LOL
Same kid....about 9 years old. Spouted the 12 cranial nerves and whether they're motor, sensory, or both to a doctor - then didn't even bother smirking when the doctor's jaw dropped open. She also told him some of the different types of tissues that I can't even remember now. I believe one was non-keratinized stratified....something....lol and the other was pseudostratified columnar something. We had mnemonics for them - one was No KiSSeS and the other was PCCE.
Same kid in middle school - she and her friend were at a drama club performance when the other girl slammed a door on her toe. Daughter calmly helped her to the dressing room, elevated her foot and gently removed her shoe and sock, and delegated other kids to make an impromptu ice pack. She sent another kid to get her friend's parents out of the audience. Turned out the friend's toe was broken, and daughter gave pretty good first aide - for a 10 year old. LOL
Jul 18, '12Quote from zookeeper3mentioning things like "foley catheter" and "rectal temperature" would probably work well, too....7. my er has not three but four frequent flyers that fake seizures. we have an unofficial contest to see who can get any of these goof balls to be tricked into waking up. this week i came up with... "doctor, i think the patient is dead, should i call for a spot in the morgue?" and not a single one came in/or was assigned to me and i'm saving it for this week then.
Jul 18, '12Quote from brilloheadi love doing the amonia salt and watching and counting how long they can hold thier breath. pt. takes a breath and we all say "there ya go".. getting your discharge papers now.mentioning things like "foley catheter" and "rectal temperature" would probably work well, too....
i really feel for our ems peeps that have to bring them in, over and over again. and nope, no boxed lunch or medicaid cab for you... bus ticket or hitch a ride.
Jul 18, '12While taking a break from my real job I worked at Panera Bread, when a customer asked to try the soup I was corrected for telling my coworker to "give them a specimine"
I also called the soup pans, troughs... but that's from another line of work!