You know you've been a nurse for too long when..........

Nurses General Nursing

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My first thought last night when I got my patient's blood all over my scrubs was, bugger, I am going to have to do my laundry tonight now, instead of tomorrow. No consideration of how awful it looked, or that I should really change, just having to do my laundry at midnight.

We had an inservice about patients who are ejected from motor vehicles and the educator showed a particularly horrific ejection video. I was saying to the person sitting next to me, "is that limp bizkit?", the music in the video was familiar. The educator says to me later, "I show something like that and your mind is immediately at what music is playing"?. Um, yeah.

My neighbours' daughter came over unannounced with her boyfriend the other (friday) night, she is 19, tearful and anxious and telling me about her belly pain and some urinary/lady partsl symptoms. I ask her, in front of her boyfriend (with her permission) whether she showers or goes to the toilet straight after sex, about her menstrual cycles, what pill she is on, when was her last smear, any smelly discharge and so on. I tell her on numerous occasions that I am NOT a doctor, which doesn't seem to sink in. Ultimately, 2 hours later after mum has arrived and basic vital signs have been taken, belly palpated, over the counter painkillers and urinary alkalisers administered, she decides to go to the doctor tomorrow and not go to the ED. Incidentally, suspected UTI confirmed the next day by GP. I remember saying to her, you have to ask yourself, is this an emergency?. The whole time she was here I was thinking, I just want to finish painting my bloody loungeroom and clean up! Is that wrong?

I often think about how my thought patterns and attitudes about things have changed over the years, my responses to situations. The funny thing is, I am particularly sensitive and emotional, I'm a crier. Maybe now I just know that I have seen enough to know that I will never see it all. What are your stories?.

... when you sign every check J. Doe, LPN

Specializes in retired LTC.
... when you sign every check J. Doe, LPN

I did my income tax refund check that way once.

Specializes in EP/Cath Lab, E.R. I.C.U, and IVR.

When you finally get that sputum sample and you tell the patient, thats a good one.

Jonathan RN

Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.
When you can discuss anything, absolutely anything, while eating your lunch.

And ruin the lunch of some innocent bystander @ the next table. rofl :D

Specializes in ICU.
And ruin the lunch of some innocent bystander @ the next table. rofl :D

Hahaha yes! Discussing "cottage cheese" secretions and smells from "down there" on an obese patient who had been unable to reach to care for herself down there prior to admission...definitely ruined some peoples' meals with THAT conversation, but at least they ended up laughing!

Specializes in Pedi.
And ruin the lunch of some innocent bystander @ the next table. rofl :D

Done that a few too many times. Sometimes I forget who I'm talking to until I look up and see this look of horror on their faces. Apparently it's not normal to discuss colostomies over dinner?

My nurse friend and I don't get to see each other very often so usually by the time we do get together, we've both got some pretty good stories saved up. Our waiter usually comes by just often enough to take away our dirty places and give us new water... you can tell he does NOT want to hear our conversation.

When your family makes you sign a contract that you won't discuss the particulars of your work at the dinner table.

When you can give a 3 hour dialysis treatment to a naked patient, who won't stay covered up, and you don't even seem to notice.

*I was in long term care for over eight years as a staff nurse. The worst thing I have ever had to do, bar none was help with the amputation of a former co worker who had had a stroke and was now a vent dependent resident in our nursing home. She wound up with Both heals with pressure sores and no matter what we did to stop them getting worse she got gang green of the toes and it went all the way up to the ankles. I knew she was suffering and my only thought was that if I didn't help she wouldn't get the care she really deserved as a human being and former co-worker. As the surgeon came on the unit, the only people who volunteered to help were Myself and another LPN. He and I Both assisted as the surgeon disconnected the last piece of tissue the was holding her foot to her leg.. that was, by far the worst thing I have ever experienced as a nurse, and yet it didn't bother me because i was trying to maintain the dignity of someone I knew during better times...

i haven't been a nurse in a long time but my first job in the Philippines as an OR nurse we would have a c section with all the blood and i would be circulating, during breaks we would run to the breakroom to eat spaghetti, didn't bother me... i would be in the OR sometimes worrying if there were any spaghetti left for me!

Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

When I was still a CNA I was cleaning up BM and talking about my PB sandwich.

And because I'm a spelling nerd I can't not mention this:

gang green

It's gangrene. :p

"gang green" - how cute!

Ever since nursing school, I cannot write/type the word "bowl" for the life of me - I always type "bowel" and have to delete :lol2:

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