Why does my Nursing student friend get offended??

  1. Whenever I ask him whats the toughest part of Nursing school, he tells me he'll let me know when he graduates.He never answers my questions regarding Nursing S.He tells me to ask my advisor ..Is he really in NUrsing school?? I find it really odd that my friend cannot give me any advice.They always say ask other students or friends for advice regarding professors, toughness of a course, etc..I feel like im offending him.Do you guys get offended when asked about NS?? Why do you think he does?
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  2. 16 Comments

  3. by   Multicollinearity
    There is no way we can know this because we don't have a crystal ball.

    It does sound like he's giving you signs that he doesn't wish to discuss your questions. I'd respect that and let it go.
  4. by   llg
    I agree with multicollinearity. If the guy has indicated that he doesn't want to discuss nursing school with you, then you should respect his wishes and let him alone. If you keep asking, it will get increasingly irritating to him and you may seriously compromise your friendship.

    If you value his friendship, respect his right not to discuss something he doesn't want to talk about. Maybe someday, he'll want to talk about -- but that's his decision, not yours.
  5. by   ohmeowzer RN
    maybe he's to stressed out to discuss it with you. when i was in school i didn't want to even discuss school.. it made it more stressful.. just be patient with him
  6. by   mauxtav8r
    Is there any reason why you wouldn't want to talk about this to an advisor?

    Possibly he has "seen 'em come and seen 'em go". I know I have. If you are all that interested (he may be thinking) you'll ask the one who is paid to answer the questions.
  7. by   RNroseshea
    I don't think that he means any harm. Nursing school is such a big stressor in itself. He may be stressed out..I know because I have was a nursing student and it took a lot away from my family and friends. Just give him some time, he will come around.:spin:
  8. by   ScoopsPerson
    I am a nursing student and I have no problem answering questions about school. If this person is a "friend", his reluctance to talk to you sounds a little strange, in my opinion. I normally talk with my friends and vice a versa...that is why it is called a friendship. Now on the other hand if you are asking him questions he doesn't know the answer to, than the appropriate response as a friend to a friend is to tell you "hey I don't know...go ask your advisor to give you the correct info".
  9. by   CHATSDALE
    i am inclined to go along with those who feel he is stressed out and just needs to not talk about anything right now
    sometimes when you are just hanging on by your fingernails you just need to shut out anything that sounds like school
  10. by   Rage
    There are plenty of people on this site that are nursing students that I'm sure would be willing to answer questions you might have on nursing school. As far as professors or clinicals or courses at a local college then you'll have to ask someone that goes there.........as everyone here has said, your friend apparently doesn't want to talk about it.
  11. by   nyapa
    Yes...or maybe he isn't going as well as he would like to. Maybe that is why he is saying to ask others. Just respect him and let him be on this matter. He may choose to open up later, and if you have given him space it may be you he talks to.
  12. by   rclimbr
    Fear. If he tells you that fundamentals is absolutely the hardest thing he has ever done, and then you take it and go back to him and say that it was easy then he feels stupid. Or maybe he feels the hardest part is yet to come?
  13. by   itsmyturn
    I have people in my school that are like that. I believe that because nursing school - getting in and staying there is so competetive that things you say could keep you from getting there or make it worse for you once you get in there.

    There is a LOT of backstabbing and hatefulness at least in the school I am trying to get into, because if you know a little more than the other, unfortunately it may help you along. Classic example that I just witnessed the other day: A student in my med term class was missing class about every other day. she asks the student sitting next to her if the absences would make a difference when it came time for them to choose for the nursing class. The girl tells her, "no, probably not" and then later sitting outside at the break area tells me that she did not want to tell the girl, but if the class has a really long waiting list, they will use the absences as one of the factors to decide who gets in before who. When I asked why she did not go into details with her she tells me that "one less person on the waiting list is good for us and it is up to her to know every fine line if she want's to really get in" I don't condone this behavior but I do understand that the nursing program is not a place to try an float on other's coat tail to get in.

    If you want it bad enough you should go and find out for yourself. As far as wanting to know what part was the hardest for your friend, well, what might be hard for him may be a breeze for you so his answer really won't help you anyway. And, when he tells you to go ask your advisor for things, he may not want to give you misleading information that he heard and is unsure of himself or it may be that since it is a very competitive program to get into he has had bunches of people asking him all kinds of questions to where he just does not care to do it anymore.

    Nursing is a program that you should be getting information from the higher ups because your friends are having a hard enough time getting their own information without having to worry about fellow nursing students as well. Please take nothing to offense..not to meant to be that way but I first struggled with this and once I realized that the nursing program is not just about getting in but also finding out the best way to do it in order to be accepted and understood the amount of work it takes to make yourself known as an interested person makes me understand a little more.

    A lot of work I have done and I feel that if you want to be in a program you should do your own work and follow your own plan and never start laying bricks on what others in the class tell you...not all but some will be picking up your bricks behind you with their words as you quietly lay down your path so be careful out there and don't worry. It is a sad society when people act like this...I am like your friend, I really want no part of the drama so I tell other people to check with their advisors because I may mislead the person down the wrong road and it would not be a good thing if someone did not get in because of something I told them.

    I want all of my friends to get in and I wish for it to be a breeze for everyone, but my opinions won't help at all except to give them more stress if they think a part of the class that was hard for me will be hard for them months before they even get there...believe you me, I and them will have plenty of time to stress out, don't need an extra 2-3 months worrying over what someone else thought was hard! Sorry for rambling!:spin:
    Last edit by itsmyturn on Oct 19, '07 : Reason: asked to use the enter key :)
  14. by   Zookeeper3
    please,itsmyturn, use the enter key, please, asked in a nice way, not nasty, its vey hard to read such a long paragraph and want to pay attention to what you have to say!

    Different ??'s, are you concerned that your friend is NOT in the program and lying to you as you are looking for advice.

    Have you considered the point blank approach; "I'd love to talk to you about nursing school and how it is for you, but you don't seem to want to talk about it?".

    and then; "I'm concerned because I fear you're not happy with school and you don't wish to discuss it"

    finally... "is there something about nursing school that you'd like to share with me, there are other things to talk about too, our relationship doesn't revolve around school".

    -are you in school
    -are you having problems in school
    -we're more than school, and if you've lied, we're ok, let's get it out

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