what else can I do?

Jo Dirt · Jul 26, 2005

Well, no matter what you do there are going to people who just don't like you and for no reason. I've never mistreated anyone and I try to be as nice as I can be, but there are people who just don't like me for whatever reason.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Just realize that this is the way people are and keep doing your best.

Cute_CNA, CNA · Jul 26, 2005

Hmm. It's kind of hard to tell you what's the problem without actually seeing and hearing you in action around other people. Everyone has a self-bias, and don't always see the faults in themselves as easily as others can.

You could always come out and ask specifically to those around you if you are doing anything that they find annoying, as they seem to act like they don't like being around you. However, it might be difficult to find someone who will be completely candid with you.

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Jul 26, 2005

:icon_roll :angryfire

Pretty simple : They are just jealous of you. You have it together. You have energy, you like your job. Your username is "wrkoutgirl".........do you workout? I do and find sometimes that the mere fact that I am slender and fit pisses people off and they are sometimes cruel. But..........they are cruel sometimes to me because it can get a rise out of me. It affects me. They have found a way to hurt me to make them feel better about themselves, plain and simple.

Simple solution: Therapy....:rotfl: Ok, well, maybe not that extreme, but it is you that has to realize that it is just jealousy and it is you that has to figure out how to not pay attention to them, not let it get to you. You say yourself, "I have not been able to change the way I delegate and demand respect from people".

For me, that means therapy.:rotfl: I need someone else's take on it and that helps. It may help you too...

Sounds like you are doing great to me, professionally and personally. Figure out how to deal with them and you will be perfect!:)

PS. Can you tell me what your secret is? I am jealous, but unlike them, I would LOVE to know how you get all the MD's to like you! :coollook:

I love and enjoy my bedside nursing, close pt contact, keeping up and improving my nursing skills. It seems though my personality is not suitable to this particular job. I am always happy at work, charming, hard working, ambitious, eager to learn. I am full of energy and always running around enjoying my pts and what I do.
This seems to annoy a lot of people. I have been in several places either b/c I am trying so hard to fit in (I was not born in the USA), or looking for better learning opportunity and safer practice for my pts. I always find that the MD's love me and build respect for me as an RN very quickly, as well as personnel from different departments. I then have some coworkers who love me and admire me. Then there are others who seem like they just can't stand me. They are rude, cruel, cold and even ignore me when I ask them for something. They seem annoyed just by my presence or words. They blow me off when I need help to find something (like now on my new job) or for them to do something. I am talking about some secretaries and PCAs. Seems my personality is to be helpful and welcoming to new people and everyone in general as well as been sensitive to people's sensitivity, it hurts me deeply when people do this to me. I feel degraded and the rest of my day seems to be ruined. I start feeling insecure, annoying and fastidious. with this lack of support and leadership, I feel lonely and uneasy. I love many, many things about this new job in terms of pt's safety, protocols and so on. I seem to have a problem with being accepted and respected. I sometimes feel that when I ask them to do something, my voice is too humble and almost intimidated by them. They, then notice it and take advantage of this.
I have not been able to change the way I delegate and demand respect for people. I am afraid that I am in the wrong profession or settings.
How can I continue to be what I love doing so much, and RN without feeling this way? Is there another type of nursing I can do that would allow me to have close pt contact and sharp skills with less of the politics, racism and personality conflicts?
Thank you for any feed back you can give me.

BabyRN2Be · Jul 26, 2005

wrkoutgirl, is it possibly because you aren't a good "fit" or "match" for the facility you are working for? It sounds like you are a great nurse, but maybe your personality doesn't work well in your current work environment. Maybe if you looked elsewhere, you'd find a place that "fits" better with your personality.

Good luck! I hope you find an answer to your problem soon!

Angel816 · Jul 26, 2005

:) I think you sound like a great person and yea some people do not see in themselves what others can, however if you think your great and you enjoy your job keep it that way do not let other people discourage you. Loving yourself and your job and being healthy is all you have sometimes so hold it tight and don't let go of it.

Mulan · Jul 26, 2005

Some people are just nasty.

gypsyatheart · Jul 27, 2005

Hmmm, I'm trying to get a handle on what the problem is here.... How long have you been an RN? You say that you've "been in several places"....I guess that means you've had several different nursing jobs? How long do you typically stay at your jobs? Maybe agency nursing would be a good fit for you...you wouldn't have to get into the politics of the unit that way.

Ultimately you need to remember that you are not on the job as a social function....and some people get irritated by those that are in a good mood all the time. These are usually the unhappy bitter people that hate their jobs. You say that you mainly have problems w/unit secretaries and the nursing assistants? Well, perhaps you need to be prepared for this and be "not so pleasant and wonderfully upbeat" to the people who are giving you a hard time. Remember, you are the RN, you are the one that delegates to the ancillary staff...if they don't like it, too bad. If they don't respond to you or give you some inappropriate comment...call them on it, write them up for insubordination. Report it to the charge nurse. Do anything but don't just put up w/it! Start being more assertive...you are there to care for your patient, not just be Mary Sunshine, and if you require these people to do something....step up and let them know it.

I love and enjoy my bedside nursing, close pt contact, keeping up and improving my nursing skills. It seems though my personality is not suitable to this particular job. I am always happy at work, charming, hard working, ambitious, eager to learn. I am full of energy and always running around enjoying my pts and what I do.
This seems to annoy a lot of people. I have been in several places either b/c I am trying so hard to fit in (I was not born in the USA), or looking for better learning opportunity and safer practice for my pts. I always find that the MD's love me and build respect for me as an RN very quickly, as well as personnel from different departments. I then have some coworkers who love me and admire me. Then there are others who seem like they just can't stand me. They are rude, cruel, cold and even ignore me when I ask them for something. They seem annoyed just by my presence or words. They blow me off when I need help to find something (like now on my new job) or for them to do something. I am talking about some secretaries and PCAs. Seems my personality is to be helpful and welcoming to new people and everyone in general as well as been sensitive to people's sensitivity, it hurts me deeply when people do this to me. I feel degraded and the rest of my day seems to be ruined. I start feeling insecure, annoying and fastidious. with this lack of support and leadership, I feel lonely and uneasy. I love many, many things about this new job in terms of pt's safety, protocols and so on. I seem to have a problem with being accepted and respected. I sometimes feel that when I ask them to do something, my voice is too humble and almost intimidated by them. They, then notice it and take advantage of this.
I have not been able to change the way I delegate and demand respect for people. I am afraid that I am in the wrong profession or settings.
How can I continue to be what I love doing so much, and RN without feeling this way? Is there another type of nursing I can do that would allow me to have close pt contact and sharp skills with less of the politics, racism and personality conflicts?
Thank you for any feed back you can give me.

bellcollector · Jul 27, 2005

Unfortunately I have not found nursing to be a very supportive or positive environment. I, like you, love the busy hands on work. I also like the pt contact however I have not found a good coworker environment. Don't lose hope though there are a lot of nurses just on this site that love there jobs and coworkers. I do think nurses are a tough bunch to work with, not for the tenderhearted among us. It isn't likely to change any time soon so either we have to change or keep on keepin on until we find our niche. Good Luck

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 27, 2005

I've learned over the years that what others think of me is none of my business. I've also learned there are going to be people in this world that don't like me.

Be who you are, strive to get along with all people, even those whom you perceive don't like you, but don't base your self-worth as a nurse on their opinion. Certainly don't feel you don't have the personality for this job because a few trolls give you the cold shoulder.

I know very well the sting of rejection and it does indeed hurt. You're a sensitive person, so you have to feel that hurt, but don't let it ruin your day. Keep things in perspective..

Don't let them rent space in your head. Don't give others the power over your feelings. Their opinion and their cold shoulder says absolutely nothing about you, but speaks volumes about themselves. No need for you to own any of that.

Bottom line is your patients needs you exactly as you are, the kind, caring, empathetic compassionate nurse that you are.

Best wishes.

wrkoutgirl · Jul 27, 2005

I've learned over the years that what others think of me is none of my business. I've also learned there are going to be people in this world that don't like me.
Be who you are, strive to get along with all people, even those whom you perceive don't like you, but don't base your self-worth as a nurse on their opinion. Certainly don't feel you don't have the personality for this job because a few trolls give you the cold shoulder.
I know very well the sting of rejection and it does indeed hurt. You're a sensitive person, so you have to feel that hurt, but don't let it ruin your day. Keep things in perspective..
Don't let them rent space in your head. Don't give others the power over your feelings. Their opinion and their cold shoulder says absolutely nothing about you, but speaks volumes about themselves. No need for you to own any of that.
Bottom line is your patients needs you exactly as you are, the kind, caring, empathetic compassionate nurse that you are.
Best wishes.

Thank you all for your feedback. They are all wonderful, straightforward and very supportive. This one in particular got me very emotional. As you said, tweedy, I am very emotional Even though my moral goes down when they act out on me and so on, I try very hard (I have to work harder) to not to let them bother me too much. The problem gets worse when I feel intimidated by their attitude and get overwhelmed doing secretary or PCA work so that I don't have to take their attitude. I am new to this job. I used to do perdiem last year while "testing the waters" I wanted to make a change for many reasons. I am more comfortable here in terms of pt care and protocols but I am getting little support. I am planning to ask the acting PCM about the job description for the secretaries. This way, I hope to become more assertive when I need something from them if I am sure that they are supposed to do it unless there is no secretary or have "nothing else to do for my pts and they are busy".

Thank you so much again. You guys are all great help. I will keep you informed.

DG5 · Jul 27, 2005

Sounds like the secretary/ies have been there TOO long. They think they are nurses?? By not listening to you and doing what you ask, they are making a nursing decision and not a secretarial one. I would ask them if they have a nursing licence to throw away?