A Tribute to My Mom

My mom has been born with a congenital heart defect. So, her family has been very protective of her. So protective, that, they wouldn't allow her to get married for fear that she would die of childbirth. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

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But my mom was a stubborn woman, despite of her family's objection; she married my father and had two children with him. I grew up seeing my mom being admitted to the hospital too many times.

Her condition worsened through the years and her heart just developed too many complications. I saw her struggling for breath, and sometimes wake up to the sound of her groans of pain.

I grew up wondering how long I will have my mom with me. Every day I fear that I might wake up and not see her at all. I felt so helpless.

When I finished high school, she convinced me to take up Nursing, which I did reluctantly. After graduation and obtaining my license, I realized that this time I can do something for my mom. I can finally take care of her. That everything will be alright now.

I found a job in a hospital near our home so I can earn and at the same time be with my family and watch over my mom. But eventually, I have come to realize that my salary was not enough to see through my family's needs. I wanted to make my mom stop working and just stay at home. So, I got a job in a hospital in the Middle East.

Finally, I was earning enough money to give my mom all the comfort and luxury that she deserves. Finally, all her dreams for me are coming true.

Despite the nostalgia I was feeling, I consoled myself with the thought that after 10 months, I can come home to my mom. With every phone call I tried to convey how much I love her. I only want the best for her. I urged her to go visit her cardiologist frequently and I had my former colleagues look up on her to make sure that she is OK.

God knows, I wanted to be the one to take care of her, to meet her needs. But fate is cruel; it would not allow me to do so. My mom suffered from a fatal heart attack. Despite the regular visits to the doctor and the daily visits from my colleagues, her heart gave out.

She didn't even make it to the hospital which is only 10 minutes away from our home. It breaks my heart how I ended up miles away from home, during the time my mother needed me most. How, when I can provide her everything she is taken from me. How, I spent most of my time holding the hands of dying strangers and not be given the chance to say goodbye to my own mother. How, I help save other people's lives but I cannot save my own mother.

There are too many things I regret, but also too many things I have to be thankful for. Although I have been treated with my life's greatest irony, I have come to realize the value of my profession. That even though the dying persons: whose hands I held, whose souls I have prayed for; are strangers for me, they are fathers, mothers, and loved ones for someone who wasn't given the chance to be with them during those last moments. Like me.

I feel for you. I just recently lossed my mom (nov 23), I too lived in another state but was able to be with her during her last few days. My mom had a massive stroke and was placed on comfort measures. Watching my mom dying was very difficult for me as a nurse. She never opened her eyes, but I feel she knew I was there as she did squeeze my hand when I first arrived there. Being trained to save lives and sitting there just watching my mom die.... I felt so helpless. It was the saddest experience in my life.

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I'm sorry for your loss! I am sure that your mother was very proud of the woman you become and took comfort in the fact that you not only cared for her but others as well. Every mother takes pride in an unselfish child. Grief is natural but please don't beat yourself up!! Happy Holidays!:tree:

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Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

What a wonderful post. I just lost my Mama. The night before she had been admitted with pneumonia. My sister held up the phone and she said "P... I love you." She was 90 years old, but still able to be up and around. Losing her is the hardest thing I think I've ever been through. Your Mama is proud of you I assure you.

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Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Med/Surg.

Thank you for an incredibly touching post. I lost my Mom several years ago...five days before Christmas...her very favorite holiday. Needless to say, this time of year is very cathartic. But when thinking of my Mom, especially this time of year, it reminds me of why I've always wanted to be a nurse. Much like you, I was not always able to care for her but perhaps now, I can give back to those who need caring now. Thank you for sharing.

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Specializes in Critical care, tele, Medical-Surgical.

Your mother is with you. I think she taught you kindness by example.

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Specializes in Neurosurgical ICU.

Hi, You've touched my heart, really. I lost my father in 2004 and I was also away when he had his cerebral bleed. I wasn't able to go home because of so many reasons and it was too late to go home because he went into coma for 4 days and he died. I am still regretful about this as I didn't see him at all and not able to look after him when he needed me most. And what the saddest part for me is I am a Neuro-ITU nurse for 21 years now and he died in the hospital/unit that I worked for 13 years in the Philippines. All my friends from that hospital helped my family so much and the doctor who operated my father was very kind to us. And I think a simple thank you is not enough for those who looked after my father and my family. And this is the only consolation that I can have but until now I always cry everytime I am thinking of my father. There were times that I asked myself how come that I am able to give comfort and look after with other people and yet I didn't able to do this to my father, but this is our profession and we need to do our obligations as a nurse. Now that I read your story, it makes me realise that you are right, but I am hoping for both of us to accept this situation that happened to our parents. You take care and thank you so much for sharing your story, it made me cry.

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
How, I help save other people's lives but I cannot save my own mother.

I am sorry for your loss :(

Please don't feel guilty - you did what you thought was right at the time. Your mother knows now, and forgives you~

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I lost my mom four months ago. She was diagnosed with end stage lung cancer in May. I quit my travel nursing job in July to be with her. Nothing could prepare me for the pain I felt after she died. She died actually from a pulmonary embolism before she ever got to the stage of being bed ridden, for which I am glad. I got to be with her for 3 weeks and I did everything for her, told her every day that I loved her. I had many regrets until someone reminded me...I was there when she brought me into this world and I got to be there when she left this world. I still miss her so very much, my dad died when I was 6, so, she was all I had. There will always be regrets, just be glad for what you had. My mom was the person who pushed me to be a nurse and she was so proud.

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I lost my Mom in October. Right now I feel lost without her both personally and professionally. I am wondering if I want to be in nursing anymore but I have to make a living. I know that I am still mourning but I have been feeling this way even before her death. I realize part of the reason is that I was tired (I was her caregiver) and still remain tired. When she first became ill I tokk a job closer to home. After 2 years and feeling unhappy with my job and stressed about work I decided to take a job further from home thinking that If I moe I would be happier and less stressed and less short tempered with my mother well she died. I was right there when she died a very painful death. She had a stroke and could not really express what was wrong but she was thrashing about until she died. This memory of her will never leave me and I have tearful bought at least every other day. I am not sure what I am seeking but I just wanted you to know that I feel your pain but I hold on to something my Mom used to say "there is a reason for everything". I am not sure why it happened this way but I am sure there is a message in there somewhere.

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Dear SueSue3

I feel your pain. I was with my mother as she died. Nursing is way too stressful and life is too short to be stressed every single day of your life.

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Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Med/Surg.
Your mother is with you. I think she taught you kindness by example.

Thank you and I completely agree...my Mom, our Moms are always with us. She was the most gentle and loving person and she taught me so much in the too short of time we had together. As I took my journey through school, not one day went by that I didn't think of her. As I enter the rooms of my patients today, I will always think of her smiling face and gentle nature and hopefully, I can pass that "good karma" along.

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My relationship with my mom is not a close loving relationship... all I know is I have a mom

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