Tired of all the Anal Stuff and Horizontal Violence

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 12, 2003

OHHHHHHHHHHH renee renee renee

nevermind. I am too ....

p-o'd at your post to reply. I respect you to the UTMOST....but...

let me just register MY STRONGEST MOST VEHEMENT DISAGREEMENT here and now.

I am so sick of female stereotyping. esp when it's done by US FEMALES, perpetrated upon each other....oh my goodness...I must go now. Love ya Renee...just can't believe ya said that.

sigh. :mad:

Rapheal · Dec 12, 2003

Cheerfuldoer- I am almost speachless. I find it hard to believe that you meant what you posted.

Vicky, I am sorry for your troubles. Stress, competition, low self-esteems, who knows what motivates people into their bad behaviors. Perhaps the least you can do for yourself and your students is to not sink to their level. And the students easily recognize a bad attitude by an instructor. It is something not easily hidden. So do the best you can (and I am sure you will) and I hope things get better soon.

kwagner_51 · Dec 12, 2003

Originally posted by cheerfuldoer
It's not about them being nurses. It's about them being "women" I do believe.

What is it about "women" (and yes, I'm a woman) that makes a LOT of women behave that way?

I can now see why the Old Testament stated for women to be "seen and not heard" in the Synagogues. Perhaps it was for reasons such as this. Whenever women get together, the environment takes on a whole new meaning, and once they are allowed to speak.........well.........you know what comes from that by working with women all day.

How can women learn to get along? What is it going to take women? Help me out here!

AMEN!! I agree with this statement 100%! Solomon also said that it is better to live ON THE ROOF, than live in a house with a contentious woman!!! He was the wisest man on earth! My husband works with alot of women. ALL they do is bi*** about EVERYTHING!!

He works in a factory, not an office! They gripe and moan about pay, yet REFUSE to do anything about it, by way of union meetings, or banding together to stop some of the crap that takes place there.

NOW, I will say that not ALL women are like this, but admit that you work with some. Also admit that we can't fix the problem until we acknowledge that, yes there are women who would just as soon stab you in the back, as look at you!!

We are afraid to say things to other women for fear of retaliation. We are afraid that if we say something about their bad behavior, then we will be the ones punished. All of us know this, and as my instructor says, acknowledging a problem is the first step to correcting it!

Take care and God Bless!

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Dec 12, 2003

I'm feeling better now--thanks for all the kind words of support. Really, things are getting better around here and I have an absolutely wonderful boss. I guess I am just really, really tired and need a break. (Don't have ANY reserve left... if you know what I mean.) This whole incredible past year has been exhausting, wearing, draining... and I am wounded spiritually. I am going to be fine, there WILL be a healthy collegial atmosphere here, our program WILL thrive (despite the gainsayers), and our students WILL enjoy the best education possible!

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 12, 2003

((((((((((((((((((((((VICKY)))))))))))))))))))))))

harry Krishna · Dec 12, 2003

Originally posted by cheerfuldoer
It's not about them being nurses. It's about them being "women" I do believe.

What is it about "women" (and yes, I'm a woman) that makes a LOT of women behave that way?

I can now see why the Old Testament stated for women to be "seen and not heard" in the Synagogues. Perhaps it was for reasons such as this. Whenever women get together, the environment takes on a whole new meaning, and once they are allowed to speak.........well.........you know what comes from that by working with women all day.

How can women learn to get along? What is it going to take women? Help me out here!

Oh my Lord!!!! It is scary what some folks do with a passage from the Bible. If only churches would spend as much time teaching history instead of just piecemealing scripture quotes to fortify their philosophy.

What this scripture eludes to is the fact that back in Biblical days, women were required to sit in the back of the church. Acoustics were terrible back then and the women often could not hear what the priest/religous leader was saying while up on the pulpit.

What often happened was the women started talking amongst themselves in effort to tell each other what the GUY upfront was saying. This ,of course, disturbed the men upfront and women were then told to remain quiet. This , my friend, is how this above scripture quote came about. TRUE STORY!!!!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 12, 2003

((((((((((((((((((((((VICKY)))))))))))))))))))))))

tgibson3770 · Dec 13, 2003

Originally posted by prmenrs
By 'anal', Vicky means [i believe] colleagues or teachers who are nit-picky and excessively compulsive; horizontal violence refers to colleagues whose anger is directed to a peer, and who might otherwise behave inappropriately and unpredictably. Probably not textbook definitions, but I don't have a textbook handy.

WOW! A real life walking dictionary. I'm impressed!

imenid37 · Dec 13, 2003

Hey vicky, thanks for your committment to nurture new nurses. We do need them SOOOOOOO BADLY! I do thank you also for your resolve to focus on the positive. I hope you have a break coming up, so you can enjoy the R&R you deserve.

mattsmom81 · Dec 13, 2003

Women in groups CAN indeed be very catty to one another...and our competitiveness is often quite differently manifested....wasn't there a book written on this subject recently?? Can't recall the name tho....we discussed it here once.

From my life experience, as a group men TEND to be more straightforward in their attack, more honest in their intent when they feel threatened. (of course there are exceptions) Women however still tend to be conditioned from childhood to be 'sugar and spice and everything nice'...so they learn to be sneakier, more clandestine in their aggression....LOL!

Do we try NOT to be this way? I hope so. Some women I work with amaze me with their charming cunning and vindictiveness. Also interesting is how some men who join our little nurse group can become the worst of the worst when it comes to vindictive cattiness. Others stay above it ...as I try to as well.

mattsmom81 · Dec 13, 2003

Originally posted by VickyRN
Why is it ANYWHERE you go in nursing, it is like this??? Thanks for letting me vent. I just need to get away from this place for awhile.

Forgot to give you a hug.....(((Vicky))) hope things get better for you! Thanks for being a role model....we need 'em desperately in this profession don't we? So much dysfunction...hard to stay focused some days.

night owl · Dec 13, 2003

Originally posted by VickyRN
This whole incredible past year has been exhausting, wearing, draining... and I am wounded spiritually. I am going to be fine, there WILL be a healthy collegial atmosphere here, our program WILL thrive (despite the gainsayers), and our students WILL enjoy the best education possible!

(((Vicky))) Now that's the spirit!