Things I'm losing it over

  1. 0
    Well. If I give too much info there will definitely be people who know exactly who and what I'm talking about, and that would be bad. If I don't get it out, it'll be bad. It's like confession, there are things I don't even tell a priest. (Not being catholic, not even being a churchgoing type.)

    So there are two things that I'm losing my sh!t over. One is one of our surgeons who doesn't wash his hands and has some patients recently with nasty postop infections. I know his habits because I've seen them in action- mind you, not in the OR but in ICU. The sink is right in the middle, mister, and I clean the counter every other time I pass by it so it's readily accessible. ARGH. I just pray that I don't snap and say something unprofessional about him in front of a family someday, so I gotta vent. It'd be easier to deal with if he wasn't also the proud owner of a very nasty personality.

    The other thing is a patient. Sweet little chick, postop infection, long hospital stay, numerous complications. She reminds me of both my daughter and my little sister. Her cardiac issues scare me the most. By now she's beat down, tired of all of us (nurses, aides, PT, whole darn staff), scared and still really sick. The little thing just looks at me and it gets me choked up. I don't even want to be her nurse for the shift because I can't be unemotional, the detachment is prettymuch gone. I held her hand for a procedure the other day and it just about hurt me as much as it did her; or that's what I thought, anyhow. I know some of her affect problems are related to one of her complications... but she just looks pitiful. I'm too sympathetic, too empathetic, too whatever. There have been several mornings where I cried all the way home and prayed the entire time. Prayer both for the patient and that I wouldn't have to explain my state to a cop or a paramedic.

    So anyhow. I don't know what to do with this. I'm a mess, it upsets my husband when I come home looking like my family just died. I've been ... emotionally involved in my patients' care before, but this just takes the cake, even for me. I'm really hoping this will pass, but the patient won't. Not for a long, long time.
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  4. 13 Comments so far...

  5. 2
    Methinks you are in the midst of burnout.......
    58flyer and Emmanuel Goldstein like this.
  6. 1
    At the very least, please contact EAP and talk to someone.

    *hugs*
    DutchgirlRN likes this.
  7. 0
    Perfect example of what causes burnout. You know this MD is not washing his hand but are not empowered enough to take him to task for it. I am not critizing you for it. I worked many years in hospital and I know darn well what the enviroment is like and how managment supports docs over nurses. Not to long ago I posted a story about a nurse manager who reported a physician that was molesting nurses to her bosses just like the hospital policy required. SHE got fired.
  8. 0
    Hm. I didn't know that this was what burnout felt like. It's very odd, I like my job, I especially like my life right now. I'm learning new stuff all the time, just getting into my comfort zone with this new thing of being an ICU nurse.

    I'm not remotely thinking of quitting or doing anything drastic. Wait, that's not entirely true. I thought of going to church. To my husband, that's drastic, but so is coming home in tears. People who want to can't make me cry, I'm normally really tough. I mean, hospice sounded like something I could do, I enjoy helping other people cope with such big changes. But jeez louise. Maybe I'll just hold off on that indefinitely.

    My version of EAP lately has been my dog. He is really enjoying all the extra walks. Thanks for the replies.
  9. 0
    That sounds like burn out. I used to work a job where I loved the work and I loved the residents, but I was absolutely miserable due to co-workers and management. I was angry all the time, I had a tendancy to burst out in tears over little things, and I was overall unpleasant. Once I left the situation I finally figured out how bad it really was. Even a mini vacation would do you some good.
  10. 0
    I don't think you are suffering from burnout. I think you have allowed her into yr personal space. ex ;"She reminds me of both my daughter and my little sister" You want to protect her.And you didn't understandably say anything. I think it is your conscience bothering you.
    Maybe, you can tell this piggie Doc, that you know of a staff member ,that hasn't been washing her/his hands between patients. Ask him what would be the best way to handle this situation since this member isn't open to feedback.:thnkg:
    Otherwise get yr patients to start asking whether the health care provider has washed their hands before touching them.
    Maybe, when you have taken some sort of action you may feel better.
  11. 0
    I don't get it. Why can't a nurse tell a surgeon to wash his hands? What will he do? Eat your dog?
  12. 0
    Quote from oramar
    Perfect example of what causes burnout. You know this MD is not washing his hand but are not empowered enough to take him to task for it. I am not critizing you for it. I worked many years in hospital and I know darn well what the enviroment is like and how managment supports docs over nurses. Not to long ago I posted a story about a nurse manager who reported a physician that was molesting nurses to her bosses just like the hospital policy required. SHE got fired.
    That's awful. What excuse did they use to fire her?! Did the nurses ever go to the police or is the animal still free to rape. Disgusting.
  13. 0
    Quote from pelsmith
    I don't get it. Why can't a nurse tell a surgeon to wash his hands? What will he do? Eat your dog?
    I'm doing my pre-reqs, but I will admit that I would prob be afraid to say something to the doc as well. Your point however is well taken. I needed this reminder so as not to be scared when the time comes for me to speak up. What can he do?! Yell?! So what. His actions are hurting people. Can you tell your NM if you are afraid to do it yourself.


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