Talking Dirty

[garciadiego]

I didn't know where to post this. Sorry if I am in the wrong forum.

I have a healthy active hetero sex life. I work with mostly women as a nurse on a Med Surg floor. When we are slow the nurse sit around the nurses station chatting and the chat inevitably turns to sex. I don't know why but I become uncomfortable and embarrased when I over hear young women talking about their sex lives, their sex practices and their sex humor. I try to go some where else on the unit when there is sex talk and I am not about to tell them to stop.

Does any one have any witty one liners that might stop all this dirty talk? Or anything else that might lessen it.

[TazziRN, RN]

I guess I just dont see what the big deal is? If it's done in private conversation and not in front of people then just leave the situation. How is this really hurting you? And I agree with not running to tattle, first of all, you wont be in good light with your fellow co-workers, which could make your job heck on earth, second, it will just make things worse for everyone involved. If you dont like it, get up, and walk away. If its in front of people it shouldnt be, then talk to them about it but jeesh, dont get anyone fired over a few small comments. Give me a break!

If you remember your inservices about sexual harrassment, any comment/conversation about anything sexual that can be heard by anyone is harrassment if even one person is uncomfortable. Literally, if I heard a comment that wasn't even directed at me but made me uncomfortable, I could make waves about it. Silly? Yes. It does, however, fall under the legal definition of sexual harrassment.

[psalm, RN]

If this is near patient care areas the pts. may hear it, is that professional?

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

My one-liner is to do to cover my ears "TMI.....LA LA LA LA LA LA" and leave if I'm uncomfortable with something. Or to be upfront and say how I feel. Being gay I get privy to all sorts of stuff from the girls and then from the guys too. It's what adults talk about out of earshot, even at work. I don't make a big deal about it. I don't ever talk about my sex life, but I do talk with adults about adult stuff comfortably for the most part. Talking adult talk with other adults out of earshot of others might not be the most professional thing in the world, but who wants to talk about work and the weather all the time?

I think typing of a letter and giving it to the manager anonymously is a bad idea. The manager probably won't do much about it. People are just going to gossip about the one who tattles and it might affect morale. Best to just somehow, without making a big deal of it, make it known you're uncomfortable with it. You don't have to be a prude or a witch. If they know you don't like to hear it, they aren't going to reject you, they are going to be more careful around you if you are consistent. If it continues this wouldn't be a case of harrassment, but it a hostile environment if you want to go there.

[RNSC]

ok people off topic but what is TMI?

sorry to be so slow

[TazziRN, RN]

TMI = Too much information

[leslie :-D]

ok people off topic but what is TMI?

sorry to be so slow

too much information. :)

leslie

[garciadiego]

Well PiPhi

No one is getting fired as I don't plan to mention any names, if I mention it at all.

How is it hurting me? Like I said...I just get uncomfortable listening to women at work talking about anal sex and B.J's....I dont know why....maybe its my problem.

Thanks for your opinion.

[garciadiego]

All good suggestions everyone, thanks

Someone was wondering what other males feel about women talking sex at work....my informal poll indicates most men don't mind it at all.....maybe this is my problem.

[TazziRN, RN]

All good suggestions everyone, thanks

Someone was wondering what other males feel about women talking sex at work....my informal poll indicates most men don't mind it at all.....maybe this is my problem.

Women are used to talking with other women about such things, just as many men are used to talking with their men friends about it. The problem arises when the sexes are mixed, as in your case. Something you might want to mention, if you ever get to where you decide to say something to these women: "Would you be comfortable if you were the only woman in a group of male coworkers who were talking about sex the way you ladies have been?"

[melsman1904]

Well PiPhi

No one is getting fired as I don't plan to mention any names, if I mention it at all.

How is it hurting me? Like I said...I just get uncomfortable listening to women at work talking about anal sex and B.J's....I dont know why....maybe its my problem.

Thanks for your opinion.

Wow, that's over the line imo. I don't think I would go to HR/management, but I would definitely address this with them.

[czyja, MSN, RN]

If there are any males reading this, please share your thoughts on this; are you suspicious when the issue of sexual misconduct such as saying obscene or suggestive behavior? I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable around me-I am no threat. But, it helps to be more aware to avoid problems.

Personally, I have never been bothered by listening to other folks sexual exploits. In groups of men or women - I find them interesting. To me sexual behavior is quite fascinating. I rarely add to the conversation, but I like listening. Oh, I tend to find sex jokes mildly amusing.

Also, I have never been bother by "womens" conversation (eg when women talk about their menses, childbirth, etc). I grew up with women - these conversations remind me of being the fly on the wall when I was a wee little lad.

I come from blue collar stock and I worked in a kitchen for many years - I guess this made me insensitive to the vulgar! :uhoh21:

That said, I very much respect the OP's desire not to hear such conversation. If I were in a group where such conversation was going on I would not think ill of the person that asked us to stop.

[Dolce, RN]

Okay, I have to share my story because it so applies.

I used to work in a small hospital where everyone pretty much knew everyone else. A coworker from another department would frequently visit our department and the loud sexual conversations that would then ensue were, to be honest, almost junior-highish. The great delight that she took in explaining all sorts of unwanted details into her private life were quite astonishing. Way too much information to be shared at the nurse's station.

But, it gets worse. She began selling sex toys at work. She brought her catalog to work and some samples and was selling them to coworkers. I am not joking.

I never did report this woman to HR because her racial comments were so much more outrageous than her sexual comments and I had already confronted her up one side and down the other about the racism. The problem with small hospitals is that if you report someone to HR chances are word will get around to who did it.