Some nurses seriously need their head examined

[Scrubby]

Have you ever been in a situation where you simply want to tell another nurse to kindly remove themselves from your presence before I start raising my voice?

A few days ago I was involved in a case where my patient had their member and a testicle removed. Not very pleasant at all, this patient is terminal and the procedure was to give him extra time.

You would think this patient should be treated with dignity and respect wouldn't you?

The clinical nurse in charge of this clinic announced to the entire operating room that 'he deserves it for not washing himself properly'...............................

Ummm where do I start? At the time I was just speechless. I should have told them to refrain from making disrespectful comments. Instead I stewed about it which isn't healthy but at the time I was incapable of speaking to them without using curse words.

This was wrong on so many levels. I have a sister who is undergoing chemo, for someone to say anyone deserves cancer is personal to me. We had a nursing student in the room, now they go back and tell their preceptor and students how heartless we all are. It's hard enough to gain respect from surgeons, no wonder they think we're stupid when someone makes a comment like that it reflects on ALL of us. And of course how you can stand their and look at such a horrendous wound and make a comment really is just mind boggling.

I haven't had a chance to speak with this person but I'm going to. I'm going to let them know that their comment was disturbing, inappropriate and has really offended me. And I will tell them that in future maybe they should show some leadership and maturity by treating their patients with respect.

I just cannot understand all of this. I've cried all weekend over this incident.

[kids]

If this nurse spoke in front of an awake patient or the patient's family, that is quite another matter. But I thought OP said this remark was made in the OR. I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that pt was asleep and no family were present. Sorry if I was wrong on that.

So by your logic it's ok to say nasty things about a patient or their diagnosis as long as they, or no one who care about them is around to hear it (and I'm not talking about 'venting'). Real nice.

I wouldn't want to work with someone with that kind of attitude, and thankfully in 20 years Ive never worked with anyone so classless.

[ballerinagirl]

what can I say -- I saw some of this as an LVN working in oncology and it's what drove me away.

There are no words to describe how despicably that person has behaved. Why did they bother to be a nurse?

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

awake or not, doesnt mean he didnt hear.....

That's true..you'd be surprised what patients hear and remember, even when they appear to be out cold. I had it happen to me. I had exploratory surgery and remember hearing my circulator say that what they found was a congenital defect(I had a Meckel's divrticulum that was causing issues). It sounded worse than what it was and even though I was just coming out of anesthesia, I remember thinking WTH? When my surgeon came to see me in recovery, I said "what's the deal with this congenital defect. Mary said I had a congenital defect." His mouth dropped open and he asked if I had been told that..I said no, I overheard it. I didn't make a big deal about it because I worked at this hospital as a surgical tech, I knew Mary, and knew that she meant nothing harmful by her comment.

I work with people who have big mouths too..the OR is not the place for nasty comments about our patients..Our patients have to trust us and I have zero respect for someone who taunts, or is nasty to their patient. These people are helpless, our job is to be their advocate. Yes, I can have a gallows sense of humor, but I save it for when I don't have a patient in the room. There is a time and a place, and anyone with common sense and decency knows this.

Do I think the nurse in the OP should be fired..maybe not, but certainly she should be spoken to..her comment was out of line. Oh, and that little thing that the CRNA did with the amputee's stumps? Not cool and if someone thinks I'm a party pooper for feeling that way, whatever.:angryfire My rule of thumb is, if I wouldn't want a loved one to be treated like that, then it's wrong. We should be thinking of our patients as if that is our parent, our spouse, our child on that table.

[Vito Andolini]

i am surprised at your response......this nurse was giving false information....in front of a dying patient, whether he was under anes or not, doesnt mean he didnt hear it.....and the remark was just totally unprofessional.

You're right - even if anesthetized, he might have heard it. I stand corrected. I still don't think the nurse should be drawn and quartered.

[Vito Andolini]

So by your logic it's ok to say nasty things about a patient or their diagnosis as long as they, or no one who care about them is around to hear it (and I'm not talking about 'venting'). Real nice.

I wouldn't want to work with someone with that kind of attitude, and thankfully in 20 years Ive never worked with anyone so classless.

Maybe because I'm older than lots of people here, I have seen and heard a pretty fair amount of this stuff, mostly from surgeons. In fact, it was pretty standard fare in OR when I worked there. I was offended, too, but not to the degree you guys are now. I knew my response here would be unpopular , so I'm taking my lumps. Ouch!

The culture we are living in is so overly concerned with political correctness, IMHO, and nobody seems to realize that PC is not all it's rated to be. It is destructive because we lean on rules and laws to try to make people actually think, feel, and believe a certain way. I'm going to T, F, and B as I want, your rules be darned. Just because I might not SAY something does not mean I'm not T, F, and B'ing it.

Question for you - how do you know for sure that what someone says does not necessarily reflect what they are thinking or feeling. You don't want to work with someone with what you find an offensive attitude. Probably all of us would prefer not to, but have to pretty much take who's dished up to us as coworkers. Kind of like neighbors.

Yes, we can sometimes go get a different job. But who really wants to do that q time someone says something ignorant - and I do agree her comment was ignorant. I can't afford to change jobs q time I feel hurt or shocked or miffed. Can you? Usually for most of us who have to support a family and put away for our "golden years", we just have to be offended and keep on working.

Yes, we can say something to the offender and we probably should. We should try to be instructive and try to make things better. But getting mad is not the answer. Firing for such a relatively minimal thing is excessive. It's throwing the baby out with the bath water, as we old folks say. Please still love me???? :heartbeat

[Vito Andolini]

that one is a new one, but i've heard some bad ones before.

i had a terminally ill pt that had brain mets. the pt would awake with nightmares, crying or screaming at night.

one of my "religious" coworkers came up to the desk, saying that the patient must have lived a terribly sinful life...she was having the nightmares because she was heading to hell.

(said nurse once described me after i left that unit behind, to someone who forgot my name and was asking where i had gone to, as "you mean, you're talking about caroladybelle the jew", when referring to me. not the redhead, not the chubby charge on nights, mind you, but "the jew".)

there are some special types of insensitive morons out there....

if you are jewish, why is it offensive that someone remembered you as being jewish?

i'm black. i can only imagine how often someone describes me as "the black guy". well, i am black. if someone else has trouble with that, that's their problem, not mine. and why should i assume it's negative to be referred to as something that i truly am?

[DeepFriedRN]

Absolutely disgusting. My husband has testicular cancer, s/p orchiectomy, (pretty sure they got it all)and if anyone had said anything of the sort in his presence, awake or asleep, and I found out, they would surely know what size shoe I wear. It has been a humbling and terrifying process, and I thank God every day for nurses like the ones on this board. I hope that our experience has made me more sensitive to how difficult and overwhelming it can be to be ill, or love someone who is. It's a relief to know that ignorant nurses like her are the minority.

[Vito Andolini]

yikes.

well, using her logic folks have bad things happen to them because they have some level of "deservedness" - we can only hope that it works that way in her case. her tongue will surely rot out or maybe a brain tumor that lets her lose control of body functions or maybe her teeth will fall out, she might go blind or something - really, the sky is the limit for the deserved badness she surely must deserve. we all know someone who never gets what they deserve, but that is not really the point. i pray that no one here thinks and works with the edict that "we get what we deserve" - sure, i think bad health habits have consequences but this is not the point.

actually, i have been so shocked by certain folks that i was left mute - so, i get your point.

i think this is called psychological abuse. abuse. abuse. it puts a patient in jeopardy and is predatory. i think you could speak to her and kudos for your restraint - i am not sure that a friendly chat is in order or at least, i'm not sure i could be satisfied with that alone.

there is another thread recently where a poster noted that her co-worker was fired d/t the op reporting immature and profane behavior. as a rule, the punishment should fit the crime and i try not to judge. however, in a case of true jeopardy - i'd have no qualms taking this as far as necessary. remember - patient abuse demands mandatory reporting. i think every behavior has to be taken in context and all situations calmly and fairly visited. sure, there is more than a passing "mean girls" mentality that rots many workplaces and ganging up on someone is never indicated just "because". i think most of us have said something we should not have said in certain situations and have real regret and horror at our indiscretions - not sure if this is her baseline behavior or not, but in this case i do not think it matters.

no doubt, sitting here and reasoning this is a waste of time and not helpful. this is potentially serious and should be addressed pronto.

you can talk to her and fyi i'd be less concerned with what the surgeons thing of us - that might be too easy for her to dismiss her actions by think "everyone knows i'm kidding" or "the doctors really like me". that is not what i'd focus on as the issue. i'd focus on the patient jeopardy and psychological abuse facet and make sure she walks away with some different attitudes.

or

you could just go to hr or your manager to discuss the matter and the behavior. focus on the psychological damage that may/could/might/may have been done and you are just advocating for the fragile populations that we are entrusted to protect.

good luck.

if she didn't say it to the patient, it is not abuse of the pt. she can have any belief she wants. as long as she doesn't say it to the patient, she is not abusing him and no reporting is required.

and how decent would it be for us to wish evil upon her, just because she has a certain belief?

[Vito Andolini]

Wow. Wow. Wow. That nurse has some screws loose. I'm 18, practically just out of high school and know a lot better than that. That nurse should lose her job.

Should everyone who ever says something offensive be fired?

[canigraduate]

Should everyone who ever says something offensive be fired?

Yep. They'll learn to keep their mouth shut until they've thought (one hopes).

I've been insulted three times today. They were minor insults, nothing that comes close to the OP's example, and I feel awful. My husband overheard one of them and came close to getting a poor cashier fired before I could calm him down. I can't even imagine how the people who overhead the crap the OP posted feel.

The nurse should remember to RESPECT her patients. I'm a pre-nursing student and even I know that.

There should be consequences for such crass stupidity.

[nursel56]

Absolutely disgusting. My husband has testicular cancer, s/p orchiectomy, (pretty sure they got it all)and if anyone had said anything of the sort in his presence, awake or asleep, and I found out, they would surely know what size shoe I wear. It has been a humbling and terrifying process, and I thank God every day for nurses like the ones on this board. I hope that our experience has made me more sensitive to how difficult and overwhelming it can be to be ill, or love someone who is. It's a relief to know that ignorant nurses like her are the minority.

Prayers for your husband, DeepFried, that they did get it all. Ditto on the shoe size remark. Though I may have wanted to simply invite her out to the parking lot for a chat. Wouldn't want to disrupt the cohesiveness of the unit.

[I_LOVE_TRAUMA, RN]

Yep. They'll learn to keep their mouth shut until they've thought (one hopes).

I've been insulted three times today. They were minor insults, nothing that comes close to the OP's example, and I feel awful. My husband overheard one of them and came close to getting a poor cashier fired before I could calm him down. I can't even imagine how the people who overhead the crap the OP posted feel.

The nurse should remember to RESPECT her patients. I'm a pre-nursing student and even I know that.

There should be consequences for such crass stupidity.

Seriously? 3 times TODAY! I haven't felt insulted 3 times in the last year. Maybe nursing isn't for you, a lot of my patient's and their family members make it a goal to see how much they can try to insult me in one shift!! To the OP, this was a horrible thing, but a lot of people speak without thinking first, makes them look bad, but you can't let it get to you. Trust me, it will happen again-one of the downfalls of this job