Some nurses seriously need their head examined

[Scrubby]

Have you ever been in a situation where you simply want to tell another nurse to kindly remove themselves from your presence before I start raising my voice?

A few days ago I was involved in a case where my patient had their member and a testicle removed. Not very pleasant at all, this patient is terminal and the procedure was to give him extra time.

You would think this patient should be treated with dignity and respect wouldn't you?

The clinical nurse in charge of this clinic announced to the entire operating room that 'he deserves it for not washing himself properly'...............................

Ummm where do I start? At the time I was just speechless. I should have told them to refrain from making disrespectful comments. Instead I stewed about it which isn't healthy but at the time I was incapable of speaking to them without using curse words.

This was wrong on so many levels. I have a sister who is undergoing chemo, for someone to say anyone deserves cancer is personal to me. We had a nursing student in the room, now they go back and tell their preceptor and students how heartless we all are. It's hard enough to gain respect from surgeons, no wonder they think we're stupid when someone makes a comment like that it reflects on ALL of us. And of course how you can stand their and look at such a horrendous wound and make a comment really is just mind boggling.

I haven't had a chance to speak with this person but I'm going to. I'm going to let them know that their comment was disturbing, inappropriate and has really offended me. And I will tell them that in future maybe they should show some leadership and maturity by treating their patients with respect.

I just cannot understand all of this. I've cried all weekend over this incident.

[nursel56]

What happened???

Any physical abuse, limited to rough handling, ie jerking her extremities when repositioning. This hospital had a very toxic culture, except I didn't know that term then. So the preface to this lies in a groupthink that the nurses would belittle patients who were not well-off financially. There were the "clinic" (pre-paid flat rate) and the privately insured patients. The nurses would always include this information when giving report, and make sneering comments about the "clinic" patients, were dismissive of their concerns and basically meted out the bare bones minimum of care.

One day, one of the clinic patients was there in the delivery room. She was a single mom, and her appearance must have suggested a very tough life. I'm describing what she looked like, not judging. Very thin, dry bleached hair, skin not so good. However, not a drug addict. The nurses at the outset were rude to her, but that was normal for them. After the baby was born they deliberately caused the lady to believe that something was wrong with the baby, but they wouldn't let her see her baby. Not even a glance as they went by. So the woman starts freaking out, "What's wrong with my baby???" "Why can't I see my baby???? "Plleeeeaase let me see my baby!!!" She is wailing out loud. Not one of them answered her, gave her a quick look-see, nothing. It was just cruel beyond belief.

You might have thought one of the nurses would intervene, but they didn't. So when people talk about it's really not a big deal for one nurse to say something "dumb", especially as a charge person, start to believe that stuff is acceptable, and won"t draw the line.

PS Baby was healthy.

[nursel56]

There's a time and place to vent about patients; it's not when the patient is right in front of you. That's what break rooms are for. Anesthetized patients can hear a lot in the OR. Someone should talk to this nurse before the wrong person overhears her.

When I was a student, I saw 2 incidents where nurses flat-out screamed at patients. The first involved a new mom who spoke very little English and was recovering from a lot of morphine. The nurse decided the way to get her up and walking was to scream "You have to get up and walk today!" The second involved an older patient who was being passive aggressive, and was in a lot of pain. At one point, the nurse walked over to the door, closed it, and started screaming at her. I was horrified.

Maybe being older has something to do with it. I've noticed that a lot of people who complain about Political Correctness tend to long for the "good old days" when it was okay to be openly rude or hostile to the right people. Not that I'm trying to call you racist or sexist, just saying times change, but people don't. Yes, some people take things too far, but one person's PC is another's consideration. As my grandmother used to say "Your mind is a silent place for a reason."

Another thing I've noticed about older nurses is that they were usually treated very badly by doctors back in the day. Now that doctors are (usually) looked down upon for abusing nurses, nurses who have been abused sometimes hate that. It's like people who brag about how badly their parents beat them, then complain about child abuse laws. There's a sense of "I went through hell, so why don't they have to?"

Right!! I was just thinking the other day, "God. I hate it when doctors are nice to nurses". Oh, but way back in the seventies, it was brutal. This one doctor, he totally yelled at me because I didn't put the leeches in the right place, and I couldn't say anything back!! :)

[caliotter3]

I remember our post conferences from my student days and you can bet your bottom dollar that the student talked about it and her instructor as well as the other students know about it. It is quite possible that the instructor might take some action on the report.

[Vito Andolini]

The surgeon said at the time 'that's a harsh judgement!' but he said it to her in a friendly way and sort of laughed as though it was a joke. Yes she's friendly with the surgeons so it's not like they are going to pull her aside and tell her it was unprofessional.

Then the place to start implementing change is to meet with this surgeon and enlist his aid. Coming from him, correction will carry a whole lot of weight. Coming from you, her coworker, it could seem like being overly sensitive, jealous, somehow simply wrong and not desirable to change. Sad but true, IMO.

Some of you have made remarks that are making me rethink my view. You make some valid points, to be sure. I guess I'm so used to people being ugly and critical and ignorant that I hardly notice it any more. Plus, I just don't want to be fighting all the time. I look at a situation and ask myself who was hurt, how badly, was anyone hurt at all by a remark and usually conclude that it really wasn't so bad, certainly not worth getting my dander up. I just don't expect any better from people any more. I expect people to be mean, judgmental, harsh, and uncaring. I am usually not disappointed and I just keep on stepping. I am not looking to change the world, punish anyone, etc.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

In situations like that I generally do NOT laugh, comment " wow, that was rude," and turn away. It doesn't call for a response from anyone, and perhaps later the offending party will think again about how they acted. It also gives permission to everyone else in the room to move on silently with their work instead of responding to the turkey. If they show a little shame they are forgiven, but a total ass will try to be even funnier- and they get reported.

[nursel56]

I remember our post conferences from my student days and you can bet your bottom dollar that the student talked about it and her instructor as well as the other students know about it. It is quite possible that the instructor might take some action on the report.

I remember our post-conferences, too. Our instructors were usually cautioning us about being judgemental of the nurses in general. There are incidents that do fall out of that category, and need to be discussed. They would say, "I understand a lot of you were very upset about. . . ." Not everything can be explained by students being too idealistic.

[Anisettes, BSN, RN]

One day, one of the clinic patients was there in the delivery room. She was a single mom, and her appearance must have suggested a very tough life. I'm describing what she looked like, not judging. Very thin, dry bleached hair, skin not so good. However, not a drug addict. The nurses at the outset were rude to her, but that was normal for them. After the baby was born they deliberately caused the lady to believe that something was wrong with the baby, but they wouldn't let her see her baby. Not even a glance as they went by. So the woman starts freaking out, "What's wrong with my baby???" "Why can't I see my baby???? "Plleeeeaase let me see my baby!!!" She is wailing out loud. Not one of them answered her, gave her a quick look-see, nothing. It was just cruel beyond belief.

Wow. Just...wow.

[Scrubby]

Update: Much as I hate to keep this bottled up I have decided not to say anything to this nurse. I left it way too late and given how angry I was at her for saying that anyone deserved cancer, I cannot be sure that I will keep my cool given I'm very close to someone with cancer. I don't want to get into trouble for flying off the handle at her stupid comment.

This whole experience has taught me that some people will say just about anything. Next time I will just loudly tell people to show some respect for the patient please.

Thanks for all your replies. My sister has responded well to chemo, the metastates have shrunk which is good, hopefully she won't need a bone marrow transplant or anything.

[nursel56]

Update: Much as I hate to keep this bottled up I have decided not to say anything to this nurse. I left it way too late and given how angry I was at her for saying that anyone deserved cancer, I cannot be sure that I will keep my cool given I'm very close to someone with cancer. I don't want to get into trouble for flying off the handle at her stupid comment.

This whole experience has taught me that some people will say just about anything. Next time I will just loudly tell people to show some respect for the patient please.

Thanks for all your replies. My sister has responded well to chemo, the metastates have shrunk which is good, hopefully she won't need a bone marrow transplant or anything.

Hope your sister continues to respond to her treatment. OK, don't laugh, but I was watching Dr. Phil the other day, and the topic actually was little girls bullying each other. The guest expert said one effective way to get your point across was the "3 Ws", but the Ws are combined with a facial expression, so OR probably couldn't do it. But the first W is "Wow!"("I can't believe you just said that!") The second is "What?" (OK you sound like an ass but I'll let you back out) the third is "Whatever. . ." It's corny, but thought I'd throw it out there anyways!! :)

[Peggyfaye]

She should get her first warning...nurses have been fired for less than this.

I have been shocked at what nurses have said through the yrs...but this is especially cruel stuff.

[Bamaeyes]

This is very unprofessional. Patients deserve respect and compassion.

[athomas007]

Nursing is by nature a caring field. Among other things, this involves compassion, understanding and empathy. Some "nurses" do not and will never have a clue. They are there to collect a paycheck and to act high and mighty. These people who are a waste of skin should be fired from the profession for professional misconduct!

Yes, I would report the "nurse", but definitely not let anyone know or your life at work could become quite miserable.

Stay yourself!