Is she taking advantage of my RN license? - Page 2

Register Today!
  1. Apr 21, '11 by
    Quote from longislandlpn
    doing something positive for another person especially family is a good deed. the universe brings positive energy to those who create positive energy. it is time for us all to be less selfish. i'm not calling you selfish and i am not condoning lying. not mentioning that it has been 10 years since you worked with her is not lying at least i don't think so. just give her a good reference , how long does it take 2 min? its really not that big of a deal.

    until this person starts taking care of your loved one and exhibits the behavior that the op is informing us of......
    then it will become a very big deal.

    two wrongs don't make a right.
    ChristineN, Moogie, prinsessa, and 4 others like this.
  2. Apr 21, '11 by
    Quote from LongislandLPN
    Doing something positive for another person especially family is a GOOD DEED. The universe brings positive energy to those who create positive energy. It is time for us all to be LESS selfish. I'm not calling you selfish and I am not condoning lying. Not mentioning that it has been 10 years since you worked with her is not lying at least I don't think so. Just give her a good reference , how long does it take 2 min? Its really not that big of a deal.
    Yes, it really is a big deal. If she isn't a good employee, then she shouldn't be working. The OP can only give the information she has from what she recalls from working with her, and unfortunately, it wasn't good. Giving a good reference when you really can't do so legitimately is lying.
    canoehead and GM2RN like this.
  3. Apr 21, '11 by
    Im definitely going to talk to her about it. I dont know what the outcome will be, its not like we're just friends we're related. Dont want to hear other relatives mouth about why I cant help her out I guess. On the other end, I could just ask her why she keeps using me as a reference instead of someone whose worked with her more recently. Im thinking thats the best way to approach the issue. Just to make things clear, I dont boast to the caller like shes fantastic (see previous reply post).
  4. Apr 21, '11 by
    Quote from LongislandLPN
    Doing something positive for another person especially family is a GOOD DEED. The universe brings positive energy to those who create positive energy. It is time for us all to be LESS selfish. I'm not calling you selfish and I am not condoning lying. Not mentioning that it has been 10 years since you worked with her is not lying at least I don't think so. Just give her a good reference , how long does it take 2 min? Its really not that big of a deal.
    Really? So, someone who doesn't perform their job well could get a job over someone who perhaps would perform better (and remember, the job is TAKING CARE OF PEOPLE), and it's not a big deal? It's "positive energy" to knowingly lie about someone's work ethic and performance? I'll bet all the people that gal works with, when she gets her job and then performs as per usual, are not sending "positive energy" out into the universe.

    I can't believe some of the skewed perspectives on right and wrong I see on these boards sometimes. Definitely an eye opener for me.
    canoehead likes this.
  5. Apr 21, '11 by
    Yes, either talk to her about it, or when these reference seekers call, let them know it's been 10 years since you worked with her, and actually she's your cousin, so maybe you could give a personal reference.
  6. Apr 21, '11 by
    She is taking advantage of you because you are letting her. Tell her it's been too long, tell her you couldn't honestly answer the questions because she got fired, or even that the number of phone calls and time from your life has become too much. Or tell her you'll take the calls but you will answer honestly, and she might prefer to find someone else.

    If she worked 7-3 and you worked 3-11 you weren't witness to her work habits anyway. But if you think something is putting you in a bad position then stand up for yourself.
  7. Apr 21, '11 by
    You may want to tell her that places do not like to hear references from family members and they may not consider your reference. I have filled out several applications that state: Do not list family members, use only previous supervisors as references. She may be trying to use you as a supervisor reference if her other employers will not give her good references.
  8. Apr 21, '11 by
    share your concerns with her, re what makes you reluctant to give a positive reference.
    it could be considered an act of kindness, if you were (gently) truthful with her.
    much more to be gained for her and you.

    leslie
    Mrs. SnowStormRN likes this.
  9. Apr 21, '11 by
    I believe it's common courtesy to ask an individual if it's ok with them before putting their name down as a reference. So when I get a surprise call I say so. "This is a surprise, I didn't know about this, perhaps you could contact one of the other references".
    Mrs. SnowStormRN likes this.
  10. Apr 21, '11 by
    Quote from systoly
    I believe it's common courtesy to ask an individual if it's ok with them before putting their name down as a reference. So when I get a surprise call I say so. "This is a surprise, I didn't know about this, perhaps you could contact one of the other references".
    Do this enough times and maybe she will get the message.