Sexism in Nursing (a male point of view)

Nurses General Nursing

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As a male in nursing, I feel that I am sometimes treated differently because of my gender. I believe that I am expected to carry a heavier patient load with less assistance from my female coworkers. I also believe that men are more often assigned to care for obese patients; I am also sometimes pulled to the other end of the unit to assist in moving heavy patients because I am stronger.

For instance, I work in an ICU and our nurse to patient ratio is either 1:1 or 1:2; the other day 4 out of the 5 doubles (1:2) were assigned to men. On the same day, a female nurse said "We can get so and so to help, he's a big strong guy." I responded that I felt that was sexism and the nurse said "Are you saying that men aren't physically stronger than women." I replied that I agreed that, in general, men are stronger than women; however, they are not immune to back injuries or repeatative stress injuries. We are friends and this was a friendly and playful discussion.

I think part of what motivated me to post this topic is the Oregon poster to recruit men into nursing because more men in nursing would change the current culture. Nursing is female dominated; therfore, so is the culture. Most men (especially the real men to whom this poster is directed) are not used to being the "underdog" or to working in an environment where their way of dealing with stress may be viewed as inappropriate. The adjustment can be difficult. I have talked to other men I work with and most have agreed (quietly), but it isn't something that is talked about. I thought that this would be a great forum in which to discuss this topic.

My aim is not to attack female nurses or to be confrontational, it is to discuss this topic openly as I feel it to be important.

Yes fergus- And with that Im outta here.

It' so odd to me that most people who go out and shoot up a bunch of folks out of "anger" are white men? I know, I know, the BIG exception is the snipers in Va, Md.............low tolerance for frustration?

To those of you who keep asking the question "where is the sexism in nursing".

I'm tired of giving you examples. I think it is evident that you do not wish to admit that this problem exists because you would like for it to remain that way or because you are guilty of sexism against male nurses and have a need to rationalize and moralize it.

As to the people that keep bringing up the patients right to choose. Please read the several posts when I have stated and restated my position that I believe patients have the ultimate right to refuse nurses weather it be because of gender, race, bad breath, funny hair, ugly pants or what ever.

My issue is with the underlying bias that causes NURSES to continually raise the subject of patient's right to choose in order to defend their personal bias. None of my posts are directed at patients. If you re-read the pages of posts on this subject you'll notice that valid points are made about sexism in nursing and they are then countered with rhetoric or semanticisum and redirected into to other issues. Patient choice, child abuse, anatomical differences and a few other subjects have been used to dilute the issue. Yes discrimination does exist in nursing and these are all attempts to convince others that it does not or is not that bad.

As for those of you who have twisted my words to imply I argue that sexism is only a nursing issue. I say that "this is a nursing issue" because your responses to this thread were nursing opinions coming from nurses on a nursing board and the only time patients came into the discussion was when you used them to validate your nursing opinions regarding male nurses.

As for those of you who accuse me of having a political agenda, perhaps there is some truth to that. However, I fail to see how you can think that discussing this "agenda" on a nursing board qualifies as letting it effect my patient care.

Do I think its wrong to refuse care from a nurse because of race or gender? Yes, do I think that right should be taken from them? No Do I have these discussions with my patients? No

.....A long time ago...in a galaxy far far away, I was pulled from a tele floor to work as an aide on an L&D floor. This was at the same hospital where I had been pulled to the psych unit. Time had passed and two things were now abundantly clear to me; 1) Nursing administration was dead set against male RN's and 2) It was damn near impossible to get those stains out of my shorts. I was ignored after I had reported to the charge RN. Assignments were straightened out, people dispersed and then I was informed that I would be an aide since all the assignments were covered. God knows, my mother tried to break this rebellious streak in me when I was a younger non-sexually oriented person, but the devil had a secure grip on me and there was a twinkle in my eye. I went to the kitchen/lounge, sat down and reveled in the delight that nature had seen fit to place me in a position where I could sit on my orifice and get paid. My musings were interupted by a person loudly shouting while flying into the lounge and banging into the furniture. She was a dead ringer for Quasimodo. "I am the lead aide on this unit", she barked. I just stared into her eyes......I was fascinated with the one droopy lid that was oozing. She told me that ALL the female duties were hers and that taking the laundry down, clearing the meals, washing the dirty instruments etc. were mine. I let her know I was grateful for her assistance but that she should organize her schedule to work alone since she was the only aide for the unit. The mental image of the hump, the droopy, wet eye, and that crimson red face will forever be with me. She left the room in the same lady like manner as she entered. I left the lounge and went to the nurses station looking for the charge RN to let her know I was about to rip a hole in the fabric of the supervisor's universe when I spied a row of charts marked BREAST FEEDING. "You're an RN...You're an RN...You're an RN..." the little devil sitting on my shoulder kept whispering in my ear. ( Kinda felt nice!! ) Looking through the charts, I picked out a first time mother, professional women in her 40's as I recall. I went to her room and to my and the little devil's delight she had her baby with her. Her baby was being held by her husband sitting next to her on the bed. I was very professional and proceeded to assess their needs and abilities as new parents. They were as dumb as a post, both of them. I considered at that point telling them that I really was a female RN.....but I realized that I had already scratched myself like a first basemen and the husband wasn't THAT dumb. I was nearly finished teaching breast feeding techniques, answering their 1 million questions, encouraging and reinforcing good behaviors when the mom takes my hand and thanks me for being so great and tells me how comfortable and reassured they both felt. She explained that they were both executives and had waited for so long to have a child, they wanted everything to be perfect. The husband was grinning like a proud father as he held his child to his wife's breast. I left the room after they insisted that I leave my name and number so they could call me with any questions. Leaving the room, I walked into a maelstrom at the nurses station. It seemed they were franticly looking for someone and couldn't find them.......then they all turned and stared at me. A thought passed through my mind......" I wonder if ajax will take this stain out?" The supervisor looked down her hawkish nose and demanded to know where I had been. Yep, I told her. I placed the chart back in the rack and she grabbed at it like a chicken going after a june bug. I'm pretty sure at this point she was speaking in tongues cause I couldn't make out a damn thing she was saying. In short order, I was escorted to a room off the unit and told to wait. I felt something was amiss and checked my fly, nope, still zipped. "I quess we'll just have to wait and see what's going on", the little devil said. Three supervisors arrived and a sort of kangaroo court convened...."Did you know what you were doing?...What did you say to that women?...Are they upset??...What were you thinking??... On and on it went until I finally asked why I was there and where was all this going. Apparently I had violated a number of policies and practices. In fact the situation was so grave, I was told that it was a good thing they had "found me" before I made matters any worse for myself. In due course, I asked to see the policies that I had violated. I wanted to see which hospital policies had been broken so grieviously. This whole ordeal went on for about an hour. I still can't believe to this day that I am not a felon convicted of three murders. They insisted that I sign several disciplinary forms and write out a statement admitting I had done something wrong. One super even offered to help me write it. Even the devil on my shoulder was surprised at that offer!! Finally I had a policy book taken off the shelf and shook in my face while being reprimanded for not signing the papers. I asked to open the book and look at the policy and quess what.....there wasn't any policy. No policy stating that a man couldn't act as an RN discharging the duties and privileges of a professional practice. I insisted that I write down all their names correctly and let them know I was going to discuss this incident with the lawyer that my carrier made available to policy holders. I swear if you listened closely you could hear the nylon twisting in that that room.

Afterwards, I was assigned to male oriented floors at this hosp. Ortho, surgical, neuro because as I was blatantly told, " This is where we need the men cause the pts are hard to move". I was a pariah after this incident and even had a few female nurses regularly report my activity to the sups. Incidently, I had applied for a position in the ER and was told that I was still lucky to be a nurse and that I would NEVER be in critical care. Of course, this was said in private without witnesses because this super had learned the hard way what a good lawyer could do with a witness.

Well, where does that leave us.... I won't pretend to know the difference between sexism and gender bias or the subtle completely destructive nuances of prejudice. I do know that it is very debilitating at best and robs all of us of a closer connection to each other. That is the ultimate failure in any relationship between the sexes. But like the man ( read: woman, person, sentient being ) said, "I don't know nuthin about fine art, but I know what I like when I see it". Differences that divide us are as plentiful and unique as we are as nurses. Until we develope a truely professional set of behaviors that are clearly and consistently practiced, we will treat each other based on the programed behaviors that society has given us and will have to live with the consequences.

Specializes in LDRP; Education.

ERN, I too have to applaud your post. Your post was written in a humorous, story-telling way and you made your point. I understand it as well. This has nothing to do with being asked to lift patients; if anything, it has to do with hospitals or administrators not allowing you to practice professionally as well as trying to discipline you for it. I guess this wasn't evident in past posts here in this thread.

Thanks for your well meaning and very articulate post, without rhetoric.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I agree...awesome post, ERN...too bad it had to be stated like this ....I understood you WAYYYYY back ....oh well. Still an awesome post.

Specializes in ED staff.

I gotta agree with Dave, we have given thsi thread far too much of our time because the fault lies not within nursing itself but in society. If we only took care of other nurses or doctors there may not be an issue here...however I have been to my own ED with belly pain and was taken care of by a male nurse and a male doctor, I just thank God that I didn't need a pelvic or need to be cathed. We have one doc, talk about gender bias, he thinks women are incapable of obtaining a clean catch urine! I have a GYN doc and then I have an internal medicine doc. Why two? Cause I have to work with my internal med doc too much and I just don't want him doing my yearly exam, so you see, society gets to us too. If we have help sent to us, I don't care if you are male, female or a eunuch, purple, green, black or blue as long as you pull your own weight and you have a clue as to what you're doing I have NO problem whatsoever with you. :)

ERN you truly have a way with words!

You have summed up my feeling very well with your story.

I also identify with how you must have felt after you left the room. Having built a strong patient relationship and really truly helping that patient and her baby. Then to be told that it was somehow wrong because of your gender.

This is what we endure on a daily basis. As anyone who has experienced it can tell you. Discrimination makes you feel helpless.

I absolutely love what I do. I hate the fact that I am questioned and second-guessed at every turn because of my gender.

Although I am sure it won't be as good as ERN's story let me share one of mine with you and maybe you will see why this is such an important subject to me.

One day I was walking to one of my patient's room's to check in on her. I knocked because I always do. Another nurse was in the room and asked, "who's there?" I said "its me DayRay"; she answered "wait a minute she is breast feeding". I said, " I am her nurse" she said, "I know".

To give you a bit of background on this patient. I had met her 2 days before when she was in labor. She was a prima gravita and very scared. I held her hand threw delivery and she begged me not to leave at the end of my shift. Her child was on O2 for the next day and was not able to breast-feed or to be held. The patient was very upset and she was also single. I was the only one for her to talk to. I spent the better part of my day comforting her. She then developed endometriosis and was very ill with fevers of 103 that took a long time to get down and she also threw up about 5 times that day. I was very bonded to this patient and she was very bonded to me.

I stood at the door considering what I should do. On one hand I didn't want to make waves on the other I was upset that someone would tell me stay out of my patient's room. I also had the fleeting thought that perhaps my patient would be uncomfortable (even though I had been in her labor, helped her perform peri care, and changed her gown when she threw up on it).

I went in, got a cold stare from the other nurse and a warm smile from my patient. The other nurse left the room saying " I can't get her to breast feed I'm going to get a bottle" I taught my patient to breastfeed her baby and when the other nurse returned the baby was eating like a champ. She stormed out and I was later called to the directors office where I was told "there has been a report that you have been massaging women's breasts" I was shocked because I am very careful not to touch even when I do teach breast feeding. Anyhow I explained my teaching techniques for breastfeeding (which do not include me massaging breasts). I was told that I should leave breastfeeding to the nursery.

I declined to do so and explained that I had only stepped in once the nursery had decided to (against the mother's wishes) resort to the bottle. I was told then that I was only to provide breastfeeding support when other FEMALE nurses had failed. I didn't get an answer when I asked why because we all knew the answer.

I nearly quit that day but I ran into 2 patients I had taken care of and they thanked me, showed me their babies and told how they were doing all the things I had taught them.

It is very difficult to reconcile the attitudes displayed by nurses with the attitudes I see from my patients.

I have a million more stories like this and a new one every day. Other nurses constantly make me to feel that I am out of place.

Before anyone asks I'll answer the question. "If its so bad why do you stay" I stay because I love my work and I feel it would violate my principals to leave simply because my peers wish me too. I don't cry and complain about it but when I see this issue come up and the arguments made I have to respond.

Specializes in Pediatric Rehabilitation.

ERN, awesome post! Thank you..now THIS idiot understands too ;).

DayRay, your post wasn't half bad either. That is what I needed to hear to understand.

You are both right, it isn't right..nor fair. I have to admit, dayray, as i read your post, I caught myself thinking, "damn, I wish i'd have had a nurse like HIM when I had my kids..".

My apologies for putting you guys through hell..I truly did not understand, but I honestly wanted to!

thanks for the insight!

This has been very enlightening. Thanks DayRay and ERN and all others who have made this thread a testiment to GREAT NURSES.

Specializes in Corrections, Psych, Med-Surg.

For those who are interested, I have updated my initial (and long) post on page 3 for the final time. It's about how certain social dynamics create a dysfunctional nursing environment that harms us ALL, men and women.

Thanks to all who gave me more ideas for it as this thread has progressed.

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Originally posted by nurs4kids

Now, I do not deny or doubt one thing you've posted above. Nursing school was a nightmare for us all. I went to an all black nursing school and there were things I went through that I KNOW was because of my skin color. HOWEVER, that was nursing school and as we all know, nursing school is not nursing. I have never accused all blacks of being racist just because I had a few racist nursing instructors.

I have to respectfully disagree here, nurs4kids. You see, if nursing school is the gateway to nursing, then nursing instructors are the gate keepers of the profession. Hence, whatever "isms" (racism, sexism, etc) exist in nursing are often reflected in the nursing instructors we all run into. The problem is often being able to separate an "ism" that is a societal problem from an "ism" that is a problem specific to nursing. In your example, racism is a society wide problem. On the other hand, ANTI MALE sexism seems to be more of a problem specific to female dominated professions (just as anti-female sexism is a problem in male dominated professions). What I was exposed to was not prejudice based on my gender in general. It was gender based prejudice only insofar as a member of that gender trying to break into the "girls club."

There are other examples, such as the fine post provided by ERN, or the example I gave earlier. Remember? My co-workers with bad backs could beg off from helping with physical activity without much being said. But, if I tried to do so owing to an injury that left me a disabled vet, I was a wimp.

Now, all that said, allow me one more observation. The female nurses who have an anti-male nurse bias are an extreme minority. So, is anti-male bias a problem in nursing? Well, yes in as much as any gender bias is a problem. Is it the most pressing problem in nursing? Is it even a really big problem in nursing? Not by a long shot.

Kevin McHugh

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