relationships and nursing

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 20, 2003

You're not out of luck. I was lucky at a church-related function I met someone who happened to work night night and was a nurse and that was six years ago. We're compatable that way.

Prior to that I was in a relationship with someone who worked Mon-Friday day shift. I worked nights 11-7 and every other weekend. The hardest part was we each had to tiptoe and be very quiet so as not to disturb the other one. That and not being able to sleep with my loved one. We spent evenings together and it worked out well.

The point is finding someone who respects your profession and your need to work odd hours, weekends and holidays. Too many times just because the one works "normal hours" he/she doesn't respect that it's "normal" for another to be up all night. Like those 1pm calls "you're still asleep?".

Relax.

Nurse Ratched, RN · Apr 20, 2003

I agree that the hardest part is probably the hours. Normal weekday dayshift people have difficulty with evenings, nights, and weekends.

Besides that, I think the only thing that may scare some people in dating a nurse is our casual discussion of things that non-nursing people may find a little (what's the word? uncouth?) When hubby and I met, I was an aide and he went out with me and a number of friends who also happened to be aides, and we were nonchalantly talking about bedsores and bm's over our chicken wings. He married me anyway lol.

Welcome to the board! :)

RRMLPN · Apr 20, 2003

I wanted to say welcome :) and i think it is great that you are trying to better yourself and doing what makes you happy.

As the others have said the hours can be a bit of a problem. Anyone that truly wants to get to know you and is worth knowing, will admire and respect you for what you are trying to do.

renerian, BSN, RN · Apr 20, 2003

Hubby is an RN too so we both put in long days........

renerian

luv-my-dal · Apr 21, 2003

Thank you to you all! ...just needed that reassurance.

Good_Queen_Bess · Apr 21, 2003

I envy those who work 9-5 Mon-Fri who have every night in together and have full weekends together and long weekends off together. I expect many others to agree that working shifts, especially nights does effect your relationship. Me and my husband both work shifts (he is not a nurse thankfully), and are grateful for a whole evening in together. I try to request my off-duty so we have days off together, but it doesn't always happen.

lee1 · Apr 21, 2003

My husband is in the restaurant businesss, owned his own restaurant for 20 years, sold it and now is a general manager which is better for him---less stress, slightly less pay but less stress. Hours were better with his own restaurant as he was only open for dinner and closed all major holidays----Italian restaurant, but his partner was a disaster and it was better that they sold the business. So in other words, I have 2 daughters I basically raised by myself for many years as he was always working and his whole family was basically in Rome, Italy which was great for vacations. Then about 12 years ago I found I was able to work more hours and go full time split between CCU and Cardiac Rehab which decreased my stress, the kids were getting older and didn't need as much carting around, etc. Now I finally am working full time cardiac rehab----no more weekends, holidays, yeh !!!

NurseDianne, ADN · Apr 21, 2003

I have to admit, it's not easy to be a nurse and have a relationship. Not many people understand the 365/24/7 lifestyle that most of us have.

I had a husband that didn't understand. Had a stroke if the phone rang and work needed me. How could I possibly need to go in to work when I wasn't scheduled.

But my husband now, THANK GOD, is a nurse, and since we both work as nurses and go to school, who could be more understanding of being tired, and just needing a hug?!!

:kiss that's my honey.......and I honestly believe that if your in the medical profession, it's alot easier if your sig other is in the medical field some way also.........

zambezi, BSN, RN · Apr 21, 2003

It works ok, for my husband and i though there are a few things that i could change. I work nights, and since i am relatively new, i work most weekends...sunday and mondays...since sunday and monday are my husbands day off, this is unfortunate because we never have a day off together and he has to be quiet in the house on his day off...once i change my schedule to have the sundays and mondays off like he does, the schedule works well...he likes to have a few nights to himself to do whatever he wants (obviously we don't have children)...play his videogames for hours, watch a movie, or play on the internet...for our relationship, it is ok.

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 21, 2003

try MY relationship on for size. He is military, I am an RN. Think NURSING IS 365/24/7??? try military life. It takes plain ole hard work and willingness to compromise......at times a LOT. You can do it if after nearly 17 years together, I have.

Disablednurse · Apr 21, 2003

I met my husband at the hospital where I worked. When we got married I worked 11-7 and he worked 2-10. It was a little stressful, but we hung in there. We have gone from me being 3-11 charge nurse to DON to MDS nurse with overtime and many weekends, but we hung in there and have a beautiful relationship that we would not trade for anything. Having to apply for disability did not put a strain on our relationship, either. We will make it for many years to come. You have to have a strong relationship for it to work and you have to be willing to give a lot to the relationship for it to last. It can be done.