Personal Experience after Many Years as a Nurse

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I've just recently lost my son (17) after a freak accident where he was playing a pickup game of football during baseball practice (to get in their conditioning/running/exercise instead of just running laps, etc) and he went back to catch a pass, tripped in a rut, and fell, landing on the top/front of his head.

Initially, it appeared that he strictly had a severe spinal cord injury due to a C5 fracture. He was awake and alert, talking and breathing well, but had no movement from nipple line down and only some sensation and a slight Babinski reflex left foot only. We were hoping that it was just a stinger or spinal cord trauma, but quickly saw on CT what a horrible fracture it was. (I am a nurse of many years, fwiw)

I was able to be with him in the ER, thank GOD, and was talking with him when he suddenly became violently ill, vomiting without the diaphragmatic control or strength to do so, laying flat of his back in a high C collar. The neurosurgeon and I log rolled him and I suctioned him while he vomited and this continued to get worse. He was given 4mg of Zofran for the nausea, and became groggy, but within about 10 minutes, he was completely non-responsive and decompensating with his breathing terribly. This was all while we were wheeling him from ER to OR and by the time they got him intubated and vented, he was in traction with a beautifully reduced C spine fracture. Probably one of the most easily reduced and well aligned I've ever seen. He had surgery at that point to remove the shattered vertebrae, disc remnants and replace with cadaver bone and fuse to C4 and C6. The surgery went beautifully with very minimal bleeding and the aligment and hardware all looked great. The surgery was completed around 7:00 pm or a little bit later.

He was brought back to an ICU suite to begin to wake on his own. This is a healthy, strapping 17 year old athlete with absolutely NO health problems that we are talking about. We went in to see him as soon as he came back and of course, was still asleep.

However, as the night wore on, he was not awakening nor reacting to us at all. Neuro checks were "ok"....pupils reactive, responsive. At first we thought he was just extremely sensitive to the anesthesia, as he'd never had surgery or meds at all. The neurosurgeon called me and told me that he'd realized that there was not a CT of the head done, in all the excitement over the neck fracture, and he wanted to send him back to CT. Of course!

Well, later in the night, the neuro and I were at the desk, talking over this case (my beautiful son, but me trying to be clinical) and he tells me that the vertebral arteries looked great on the CT, but that there is some opacity of the basilar. However, there were no signs at all of any infarct or bleed, so he just wanted to "watch it". We looked at the imaging together and the brain looked great, I'll admit. I had a niggling concern about the basilar opacity and why we weren't pushing that, but this is a wonderful doc we're talking about and I figured he knew best.

He calls me sometime later and tells me that my son has developed hydrocephalus and he's taking him back to surgery to place a shunt and ICP monitor. And we wait.

By 6:00 the next morning, I knew something was different. His pupils were very sluggish and he was simply not responding at all to anything. Sternal stim, pin prick, light, girlfriend, nothing.

I went out to the car to rest a bit after visiting and was soon called back by the nurse, telling me that there was a change....BP was bottoming and pulse was racing. We came back in and body temp was rising. I immediately knew we were looking at a brain stem stroke.

Of course, it was worse than just that (if there is such a thing) and we were soon told that he was "locked in". I almost lost it, because after taking care of patients in this condition, I felt that this was the most horrible situation anyone could be in. Soon after, both pupils were blown and he failed apnea testing miserably.

I had already declined a feeding tube the day before, because of the ethical and legal issues involved and knowing my son's wishes. He had also made the decision a year ago to be an organ donor, so I went ahead and told the doctor to begin preparations for that. He was stunned by this whole ordeal.

This has only been 2 weeks ago for me, and I am so very lost without my son. This neurosurgeon has been in practice for 25 years and is a wonderful surgeon, with many awesome successes where none were expected. He told me that he had NEVER treated a case that progressed like this in his 25 years in practice.

I begged them to sedate him while waiting for the organ donation process, because I could not bare the thought of him possibly actually having locked in syndrome (mother's minds, you know) and being afraid or in pain with no way to let us know. They were gracious enough to comply with my request, but I still find myself scrounging for all the clinical information I can find to reassure myself that we made the right calls.

I need to reassure myself that my child was ok and not in pain or fear, and this article is a great one. Please excuse the wordiness as this is still a very fresh pain for me and I guess I'm trying to "talk it through". I've never hated being a nurse as much as I did through this ordeal, knowing what I was seeing and being so very helpless.

Specializes in Orthopedic, LTC, STR, Med-Surg, Tele.

I'm so sorry. It is so awful to be watching and to know exactly what is going on. "How terrible it is to love something that death can touch".

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing such a personal and touching story...I could not even imagine. I admire your strength during this extrememly difficult time and your decision to give the gift of life to others....I know that must have been very very very hard. Organ donation is a beautiful thing and I know that your son would be very proud of you. ((((((HUGS))))))

Specializes in Med/Surg,Cardiac.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I simply cannot imagine dealing with it. You will be in my thoughts.

Sent a PM when this thread was temporarily closed. My opinion is that he had no pain once the signs of increased ICP came on (vomiting) and the last thing he saw or knew was his mom taking care of him. This might be of some comfort.

What a heartbreak. The surgeon, too, was devastated; nothing to be done for this. Perhaps sometime he'll write it up in hopes of helping someone else, but it sounds as if this was not foreseeable and not treatable from the beginning. Tragedy, as a mom and a nurse I weep.

I think you acted amazingly and did everything you possibly could have. I really hope the fact that you were involved and stood witness to his treatment from beginning to end gives you some sort of closure and peace.

You sound like a wonderful mom. Someone any person would be lucky to have in their lives.

Stay strong.

Specializes in LTC, med/surg, hospice.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain your are feeling. I feel you did everything in your power and your knowledge served you well to be a wonderful advocate for your son.

Specializes in NICU/L&D, Hospice.

I am very sorry for the loss of your dear son. May God be with you and your loved ones during this very very difficult time. I can't even imagine the pain you all are having.

Lisa

I'm sorry; I've just now logged back in, since my post was locked so quickly. I'm glad to see it has been unlocked, and I truly, truly appreciate all of your comments. I've added that beautiful boy's picture as my avatar. I can't PM any of you back yet, as I've just joined. But I am so thankful for your comments. Sometimes one just needs some reassurance. We are going through all of these senior year "rites of passage" with all of his amazing friends, and Alex's story continues to make news and touch lives. He was an amazing kid, and I was blessed to have him in my life for those 17 years. I just hope that I am still able to be a good mother to the amazing sister who also misses him dearly. Thank you all so very much. It's good to be able to "air things out" with folks who understand the clinical AND the mother/parent side of the coin.

Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

What a tragedy. Remember, you were not the only one making decisions, so please do not wonder about that. I will pray you find peace soon.

Specializes in Programming / Strategist for allnurses.

this just hurts me ... I'm so sorry for your lost.

it takes a strong person to share something like this ... I just want to give you a (( virtual hug )) and cry with you.

(The man that I am - I wipe my eyes and makes sure that no one is looking. arrrggghhhh ... no one is here!!!!)

Many, many hugs to you.

(( hugggggggg ))

My 26-year-old son died in 1998 after an auto accident. He had a non-survivable head injury & amazingly, lived for 36 hours after the accident. As a former ICU RN, I found the most difficulty being both mother & RN. Knowing how awful all the readings were, I had to then explain everything to all the family members & friends who came to be with us. I was glad to be @ his side until the end & the care he received was excellent. I do have to say that we seldom saw a doctor after the initial discussion of prognosis, but the care & compassion from fellow RN's in the unit was overwhelming.

I found the support group "The Compassionate Friends" to be a lifesaver & attended meetings monthly for the first few years afterward. They are non-denominational, with chapters across the US & worldwide.

My heartfelt sympathy for your loss.

Specializes in Emergency.

So sorry for your loss. Wishing you the best going forward.

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