Nurses with children always go home early? - page 6

I know it is controversial topic. First I explain myself a bit. I would like to have children at some point but I dont have them at the moment as I deal with some health issues and I havent met right... Read More

  1. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from MunoRN
    Once you are no longer being paid you leave, there is no obligation whatsoever that you stay beyond that point in time. So you're complaining that you're having to stay longer than people with kids are even though are aren't actually having to stay.
    One has to stay until they've given report. If the employees with children are so entitled as to believe that they always need to go first, the employee without children may indeed end up staying after the shift.
  2. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from Taina33
    I agree with hppygr8ful. Family comes first, especially our children. Why have children if you're not gonna be there for them? When you decide to have children, your whole life changes and you have to rearrange your time to make room for them. Thats why wome who are "super" career minded tend to not have children, not want them so they can compete with men on the corporate ladders, or just have them later. And then they have nannies raise their children cuz they always have to work late or travel. I saw myself about to make that mistake and just went a got a job less stressful, no travel, more family friendly. We are women, we have the right to pursue self fulfillment through career accomplishment, and we have the right to fulfil our desire to be mothers. We are valuable assets to any work place. I would hate to work in a place where i am resented because i need to leave to care for my sickly child. And then when you dont take care of them, you get accused of niglect. Leave your little one home alone, or sick because of what jealous co-workers say, and see how quickly you get a neglect or child endangerment charge. If they want women in the workplace, they need to value what we bring to the table, and accommodate everything that comes with being a woman. Even if that's chocolate, PMS and babies. Lol
    I think you're missing the point. YOU need to arrange your life and your time to care for your children. The OP -- or any other person who is not YOU does not need to arrange their life or their time so that you can be there for your children.
  3. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from LovingLife123
    I think a lot of people are missing points in here. The OP is stating that moms are basically getting special considerations and expecting them because we have families. I don't find that to be true.

    I work my holidays every year and never say Well, I shouldn't have to work Christmas, I have kids. I've never asked to leave early. I'm there later than most to finish up my work, while all the single girls on my unit go out for a drink after work. I would never think to say a word about that. My work, is my work to get done.

    I need the money. That's why I work. Otherwise, I would stay home to raise my kids and maybe have a couple of more. I think that's why pretty much all of us work, single or with a family. I also love my coworkers and the interactions.

    I do take a personal phone call here or there for my family. It's done discreetly and not at the nursing station or in a room. It would frankly tick me off to find out that somebody was monitoring how many phone calls I take. If I have a sick kid and the school calls me while I'm working, I have to then make arrangements for somebody to pick them up and get them home as I can't. If my husband runs my baby to the doctor, I need him to call me and tell me how the appointment went.

    As I stated before, I thought the OP was going to complain about bigger issues that she was having on her unit. The problems the OP is have my over report and phone calls seem petty to me.
    Perhaps the OP's issues seems petty to you because you aren't the one who is expected to give report last every.single.frickin'. time. If you were, it might become a big issue to you as well. And if YOU were waiting to count narcs, waste narcs or clean up poop and the person who was helping you left to take a phone call, that might seem like a big deal to you as well.
  4. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from hppygr8ful

    And while my need to work may not trump someone who doesn't have kids. My need to get out of work on time to pick up my child who I am legally responsible for certainly trumps someone who wants to go to take a yoga class at the gym.

    As to the point you make about choosing to have kids that's true - but once we do choose to have kids and bring them into this world we can't just abdicate our responsibility to them.

    Hppy
    No, your need to get out of work to pick up your child does NOT trump someone who wants to take a yoga class at the gym. Especially not if you regard it as something to which you're entitled (as comes across in your post) as opposed to a favor a someone might do you on the rare occaision when you have failed to plan appropriately for your child to be picked up by someone who is free to do so. You chose to have kids -- no one is asking that you abdicate your responsibility to them. I think it fair, however, to expect that you will plan ahead for their care and supervision so that your colleagues aren't asked to give up their yoga classes (or anything else) to cover for you more than once in a blue moon. And it would also be nice of you to volunteer to let someone else be the first to give report to let them get to their yoga class on time, pick up their mother at the senior day care or just go out for a drink with friends sometimes too.
  5. by   NurseSpeedy
    I've never had special treatment because I have a child. I do have the right to leave when my work is done and my shift is over, just like everyone else with or without children. This is also why I don't work during the week. Daycare does not play nice when parents don't show up on time to pick up their children. Five dollars a minute, cancellation of services, or a call to CPS for being really late are just not on my top ten list of things to enjoy when I get off work. Someone wants to mandate staying late when I've finished my work? That's fine. There's plenty of other companies out there that won't mandate it.
  6. by   Fiona59
    Define child.

    I had to work Christmas night and leave my teenagers at home while their father was serving in Afghanistan, so that nurses with small children could be home.

    The rationale? "Your kids don't believe in Santa" WTH?
  7. by   Munch
    Quote from hppygr8ful

    And while my need to work may not trump someone who doesn't have kids. My need to get out of work on time to pick up my child who I am legally responsible for certainly trumps someone who wants to go to take a yoga class at the gym.
    Maybe you think so but quite frankly the fact you need to pick your child up isnt my problem. Maybe I don't want to give up my yoga class because you need to pickup your kids. That's not to say if you asked me to stay late once in a while because you need to leave early I wouldn't do it because I would. I would do it for anyone. Sometimes getting to a yoga class or the grocery store when you need to can make all the difference in your day.

    Its all about priorities. The people who have children obviously(one would hope) would keep their children a top priority(their are parents that don't but that's a whole other topic) while people who don't have children have other things that are their priority. Just because I don't have kids to pick up doesn't make me and my time and my priorities any less important than those that do have kids.

    As far as holidays go when you are first hired at my employer you are told working holidays are mandatory just as staying until the end of every shift is(obviously once in a while emergencies do happen..for everyone) but children or elderly parents, or 4 dogs at home is not going to make you exempt from working Christmas. If you don't like it then find a more flexible position where you can tend to your family(management's words not mine). If you call in sick too many times too for whatever reason..be it you're kids are sick or whatever then it goes in your file. But when I say too many times it really needs to be excessive for the NM to discipline you about call ins.
  8. by   fartjohnson
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    One has to stay until they've given report. If the employees with children are so entitled as to believe that they always need to go first, the employee without children may indeed end up staying after the shift.
    If I know that the next nurse is going to be significantly late (eg: 20+ minutes), I'll write out report on the Kardex along with my phone number if he/she has questions. Works out well for all parties involved. May not be an option for you but it's worth some consideration IMO
  9. by   lindseylpn
    I once had a co-worker who told everyone that would listen that I should have to work every weekend and holiday because, I don't have children. I already worked every Saturday and Sunday but, every few months she'd ask me to switch schedules to take all her Friday shifts as well. Every holiday she was scheduled she'd ask me to work for her too. I'd always refuse and she'd huff and puff, be hateful and bad-mouth me to everyone for weeks. I was going thru unsuccessful fertility treatments at the time and really struggling with my infertility. The constant reminder from this co-worker that I was childless was very disheartening.

    I don't mind the occasional switching of a shift or someone leaving early because, of their children (or whatever). We all have emergencies. I've worked with several people who use the "I have kids" excuse for everything though, like the co-worker I was talking about. Her kids were grown and didn't even live at home but, she'd used the "I have kids" statement and lots of fussing to get out of undesirable shifts for years.

    Just because, someone's family might only be parents, nieces, nephews, siblings or even just pets, it doesn't mean their family is any less important to them. Statements like "You'll never understand until you have kids." can be hurtful without meaning to for some people. You never really know why someone doesn't have children. We all deserve to have our time off and holidays regardless of our circumstances.
    Last edit by lindseylpn on Nov 14
  10. by   NICU&ERnurse
    Wow talk about a click bait topic title! I have worked at the same 2 hospitals with the same group of nurses who knew me before I had kids and now that I have 2. Most of the nurses I work with do have kids, actually. But anyway, no one has made demands on my time based on my child status, and I haven't seen it happening to the other nurses either. Maybe I'm just lucky to have 2 different hospitals that are staffed by reasonable human beings? Some units have ****** nurse culture I guess. I did have a nurse try to lay into me for arriving late, she wanted to leave early to pick up her kids. She made such a fuss before the charge nurse shut her down and loudly reminded her (we certainly hadn't forgotten!) that she is routinely late every.single.shift. Girl, bye.

    Anyway. I knew I was lucky to not get pressure from other nurses when I didn't have kids to worry about, and I certainly wouldn't try to leverage parenthood over any of my coworkers now- who needs to start that kind of drama? Nurses never forget!
  11. by   NurseDisneyPrincess
    Quote from lindseylpn
    I once had a co-worker who told everyone that would listen that I should have to work every weekend and holiday because, I don't have children. I already worked every Saturday and Sunday but, every few months she'd ask me to switch schedules to take all her Friday shifts as well. Every holiday she was scheduled she'd ask me to work for her too. I'd always refuse and she'd huff and puff, be hateful and bad-mouth me to everyone for weeks. I was going thru unsuccessful fertility treatments at the time and really struggling with my infertility. The constant reminder from this co-worker that I was childless was very disheartening.

    I don't mind the occasional switching of a shift or someone leaving early because, of their children (or whatever). We all have emergencies. I've worked with several people who use the "I have kids" excuse for everything though, like the co-worker I was talking about. Her kids were grown and didn't even live at home but, she'd used the "I have kids" statement and lots of fussing to get out of undesirable shifts for years.

    Just because, someone's family might only be parents, nieces, nephews, siblings or even just pets, it doesn't mean their family is any less important to them. Statements like "You'll never understand until you have kids." can be hurtful without meaning to for some people. You never really know why someone doesn't have children. We all deserve to have our time off and holidays regardless of our circumstances.
    Ugh. I am going through this very same thing now. Two co-workers specifically who are after my Christmas and my weekends. All because they have children and I don't. And yes, I know all about the "huffing and puffing" attitude, the snide comments etc. It's sad when co-workers use their kids as a bargaining chip in order to get what they want, or to use them as an excuse. I hate the "My needs trumps yours because I have kids". A co-worker the other day said something about how great it must be for me because I host parties on the weekend and don't have little kids and a husband at home, so I have no responsibilities. I was thinking, really?! I'm an adult with bills. Just because I don't have kids that doesn't mean I don't have any responsibilities. Her comments annoyed me, but I can only imagine if she was on my floor and consistently left early because of her "kids", and if management let that fly. I'd be pretty ticked off. I understand OP's frustration.

    Lindsey, I'm also sorry you had to go through that. Sometimes people are really insensitive. And yes, we all deserve to share time with our families.
  12. by   Reyn04
    As a non parent I cant say i entirely disagree to a point. I get that kids mean a lot of unexpected juggling but I know from my own childhood thats why it takes a network of people. Parents, friends of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles... sometimes any one of those people would take me home from school or to afterschool activities until one of my working parents could get there. Ideal, no but I dont think it warrents automatically being favored all the time either.

    My last job we frequently got cancelled. One could request "first cancel" and once, I did. About 2 weeks before the work day. Day cane, I didnt get cancelled - I figured we were full, shrugged it off & went in. Thats when I found that a coworker with kids called in that day to request cancel because she was tired. I was so angry, I saw red. What I'd asked to be cancelled was just as important to me. The kids werent sick or injured, she just didn't coordinated her nightshift sleep time into her day. But all she had to say was the magic word "kids" and the standard protocol of first come first serve was shoved aside to accomodate her instead.

    I agree that a set protocol needs to be in place to accomodate all employees.
  13. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from Fiona59
    Define child.

    I had to work Christmas night and leave my teenagers at home while their father was serving in Afghanistan, so that nurses with small children could be home.

    The rationale? "Your kids don't believe in Santa" WTH?
    Did you tell them that that is exactly WHY you needed to be home that night? Because no Santa or anybody else was coming? Santa is still going to their houses, why do they need to be there too?
    Last edit by Julius Seizure on Nov 14

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