Nurses with children always go home early?

[Agatha12]

I know it is controversial topic. First I explain myself a bit. I would like to have children at some point but I dont have them at the moment as I deal with some health issues and I havent met right partner to be father.

Now main problem. Why staff with children always think that will have priority to go home on time and will refuse to stay longer if required only because they have kids? Childless staff also have plans, responsibilities or simple would like to have time to cook for a next day.

I believe some fair system should be in place. Once mothers go home early, on other occasion they stay longer and single people enjoy their time. Any thoughts? Am I wrong to think so?

[kcochrane]

I have five kids. My time is NOT more important than a single person. I decided to have kids, I decided to work in nursing where I don't always get out on time. Granted the OP problem is due to management. She is not getting paid to stay over. I remember it could take up to an hour for everyone to give bedside report, depending on the person and patient. That being said, management probably isn't going to change and start paying. Fairest solution is to rotate who gives report first no matter if you have children or not.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

And yes, if push comes to shove, leaving to care for a HUMAN trumps leaving to hit the grocery store.

And there you are. That's the attitude that drives those of us without kids crazy. It doesn't matter why someone wants to leave on time. Someone without kids may have worked just as hard (or harder) than the parent who feels entitled to leave early (or not work weekends or holidays or night shift or whatever) "because I have children."

Leaving to care for my HUMAN elderly parents somehow never got the same consideration from the "because I have CHILDREN" crowd as their need to leave early for their kids.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

We do bedside report as well. It should t matter if it is bedside or not. So, essentially you are talking about 15 minutes here. That's why you get upset? Over 15 minutes? Daycares have strict policies about when the close. You can't be late to pick them up. I can't believe you are complaining about that. Do you not organize report so when the next shift comes on, you all have a person to give report to?

Also, we can't carry our phones around with us. Mine stays in a little room on our unit where we put our personal items. Yes, I check it. If my sons' school or daycare calls, I call them back. It could be an emergency.

I honestly think you are being petty. I would have expected from your post that there were some huge issues going on, like these nurses always going home hours early or always getting certain days off, but that's not what is happening.

You know, one "15 minutes" isn't a big deal. But daily "15 minutes" becomes a big deal, especially if you're not being paid for it. I see no reason why everyone shouldn't take turns with that "15 minutes." If you think the previous poster is being petty about 15 minutes, I think the nurse who ALWAYS has to go first is acting entitled. No one should have to take up the slack every single time.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Let me compare it to you like this - You know when you're younger and you ignorantly whine about things being "so unfair" and then you get older, things click and you get that "aha!" moment. THIS is just like that. You're NOT going to get it until you have kids. Parenting is not like caring for a pet or even an elderly parent, which I've done both. You are inherently responsible for vulnerable children that depend solely on us. You think parents are doing cartwheels to clock out early so they can go hit up happy hour with their girlfriends? Some kids have special needs, some parents don't have a partner to help them- it's called life and it gets us all eventully. But, above it all, I can guarantee you that none of them leave early to go kick up their feet and watch Netflix; their hardest job begins the minute they clock out of said hospital. You're a nurse - where is your compassion and understanding? Try extending them the same grace you would want given to you, because karma has a funny way of making you eat humble soup once the tables have turned.

I don't think it matters why someone is clocking out early. If they are ALWAYS the one clocking out early and someone else ALWAYS has to stay to watch their patients and give report last, that's a problem. The fact that we are nurses doesn't mean we owe compassion and understanding to entitled coworkers who believe that they should ALWAYS get the first chance to report off while someone else NEVER does.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

What is your response to someone who doesn't desire to raise his/her own family, ever, and meanwhile has a full life - with other responsibilities/obligations and goals?

You are way off-base here. I'm surprised it hasn't come up already in this thread: Parents' situations are not inherently part of a coworker's responsibility. Now you've made a charge of no compassion essentially only based on the idea that someone else doesn't have the same life circumstance as you. Earlier in the thread she was told to get a different job if she didn't "like it."

Here's something cool I've witnessed: Nurse with young children is scheduled for upcoming holiday shift. Nurse without children says, "Hey, I can work that, you know - the only thing I have going on is spending the day with my family; I don't have little kids." Nurse with children says, "That's so sweet, but you deserve your turn to celebrate the holiday however you want!" I thought that was pretty upstanding on both of their parts.

"Compassion and understanding" might be demonstrated by a nurse without children relieving a nurse who does have children when one of them are hurt or need her attention at home. But "compassion and understanding" does not mean giving report dead last and thus staying late most days because one has no children. Compassion and understanding are also not things that one typically gets to demand for their own self-serving reasons.

I like the way you said this far better than the way I tried to say essentially the same thing.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Once you are no longer being paid you leave, there is no obligation whatsoever that you stay beyond that point in time. So you're complaining that you're having to stay longer than people with kids are even though are aren't actually having to stay.

One has to stay until they've given report. If the employees with children are so entitled as to believe that they always need to go first, the employee without children may indeed end up staying after the shift.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I agree with hppygr8ful. Family comes first, especially our children. Why have children if you're not gonna be there for them? When you decide to have children, your whole life changes and you have to rearrange your time to make room for them. Thats why wome who are "super" career minded tend to not have children, not want them so they can compete with men on the corporate ladders, or just have them later. And then they have nannies raise their children cuz they always have to work late or travel. I saw myself about to make that mistake and just went a got a job less stressful, no travel, more family friendly. We are women, we have the right to pursue self fulfillment through career accomplishment, and we have the right to fulfil our desire to be mothers. We are valuable assets to any work place. I would hate to work in a place where i am resented because i need to leave to care for my sickly child. And then when you dont take care of them, you get accused of niglect. Leave your little one home alone, or sick because of what jealous co-workers say, and see how quickly you get a neglect or child endangerment charge. If they want women in the workplace, they need to value what we bring to the table, and accommodate everything that comes with being a woman. Even if that's chocolate, PMS and babies. Lol

I think you're missing the point. YOU need to arrange your life and your time to care for your children. The OP -- or any other person who is not YOU does not need to arrange their life or their time so that you can be there for your children.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I think a lot of people are missing points in here. The OP is stating that moms are basically getting special considerations and expecting them because we have families. I don't find that to be true.

I work my holidays every year and never say Well, I shouldn't have to work Christmas, I have kids. I've never asked to leave early. I'm there later than most to finish up my work, while all the single girls on my unit go out for a drink after work. I would never think to say a word about that. My work, is my work to get done.

I need the money. That's why I work. Otherwise, I would stay home to raise my kids and maybe have a couple of more. I think that's why pretty much all of us work, single or with a family. I also love my coworkers and the interactions.

I do take a personal phone call here or there for my family. It's done discreetly and not at the nursing station or in a room. It would frankly tick me off to find out that somebody was monitoring how many phone calls I take. If I have a sick kid and the school calls me while I'm working, I have to then make arrangements for somebody to pick them up and get them home as I can't. If my husband runs my baby to the doctor, I need him to call me and tell me how the appointment went.

As I stated before, I thought the OP was going to complain about bigger issues that she was having on her unit. The problems the OP is have my over report and phone calls seem petty to me.

Perhaps the OP's issues seems petty to you because you aren't the one who is expected to give report last every.single.frickin'. time. If you were, it might become a big issue to you as well. And if YOU were waiting to count narcs, waste narcs or clean up poop and the person who was helping you left to take a phone call, that might seem like a big deal to you as well.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

And while my need to work may not trump someone who doesn't have kids. My need to get out of work on time to pick up my child who I am legally responsible for certainly trumps someone who wants to go to take a yoga class at the gym.

As to the point you make about choosing to have kids that's true - but once we do choose to have kids and bring them into this world we can't just abdicate our responsibility to them.

Hppy

No, your need to get out of work to pick up your child does NOT trump someone who wants to take a yoga class at the gym. Especially not if you regard it as something to which you're entitled (as comes across in your post) as opposed to a favor a someone might do you on the rare occaision when you have failed to plan appropriately for your child to be picked up by someone who is free to do so. You chose to have kids -- no one is asking that you abdicate your responsibility to them. I think it fair, however, to expect that you will plan ahead for their care and supervision so that your colleagues aren't asked to give up their yoga classes (or anything else) to cover for you more than once in a blue moon. And it would also be nice of you to volunteer to let someone else be the first to give report to let them get to their yoga class on time, pick up their mother at the senior day care or just go out for a drink with friends sometimes too.

[NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN]

I've never had special treatment because I have a child. I do have the right to leave when my work is done and my shift is over, just like everyone else with or without children. This is also why I don't work during the week. Daycare does not play nice when parents don't show up on time to pick up their children. Five dollars a minute, cancellation of services, or a call to CPS for being really late are just not on my top ten list of things to enjoy when I get off work. Someone wants to mandate staying late when I've finished my work? That's fine. There's plenty of other companies out there that won't mandate it.

[Fiona59]

Define child.

I had to work Christmas night and leave my teenagers at home while their father was serving in Afghanistan, so that nurses with small children could be home.

The rationale? "Your kids don't believe in Santa" WTH?

[Munch]

And while my need to work may not trump someone who doesn't have kids. My need to get out of work on time to pick up my child who I am legally responsible for certainly trumps someone who wants to go to take a yoga class at the gym.

Maybe you think so but quite frankly the fact you need to pick your child up isnt my problem. Maybe I don't want to give up my yoga class because you need to pickup your kids. That's not to say if you asked me to stay late once in a while because you need to leave early I wouldn't do it because I would. I would do it for anyone. Sometimes getting to a yoga class or the grocery store when you need to can make all the difference in your day.

Its all about priorities. The people who have children obviously(one would hope) would keep their children a top priority(their are parents that don't but that's a whole other topic) while people who don't have children have other things that are their priority. Just because I don't have kids to pick up doesn't make me and my time and my priorities any less important than those that do have kids.

As far as holidays go when you are first hired at my employer you are told working holidays are mandatory just as staying until the end of every shift is(obviously once in a while emergencies do happen..for everyone) but children or elderly parents, or 4 dogs at home is not going to make you exempt from working Christmas. If you don't like it then find a more flexible position where you can tend to your family(management's words not mine). If you call in sick too many times too for whatever reason..be it you're kids are sick or whatever then it goes in your file. But when I say too many times it really needs to be excessive for the NM to discipline you about call ins.