Nurses with children always go home early? - page 4

I know it is controversial topic. First I explain myself a bit. I would like to have children at some point but I dont have them at the moment as I deal with some health issues and I havent met right... Read More

  1. by   Kooky Korky
    Quote from Agatha12
    Probably, I should have described situation clearer. When I worked on the floor, we had a silly bedside handover, which means the coming staff were going from one room to another to receive the report about all the patients. It means that the last nurse will leave a job even 30min later or more, but the first one might finish couple of minutes earlier. And now who was saying that wants to be the first nurse to give the report? obviously mothers because they will always use the argument " I have kids to collect" that single childless person cannot beat. Important to mention, that people who had to overstay are not paid for this time. I know this is managment problem and I advocated to change it but unfortunately there is no will from managment for a change. I left but it sticks in my mind, why those nurses with kids cannot accept that sometimes they will give priority to single person and sometimes they will go first. Also I witnessed situation when nurses took personal call in the moment when It was important to do something for patient, for example checking narcotics together so pain medication are not delayed.. When I pointed out that it is not the moment for personal call, I was told that I dont understand because I dont have kids.

    I really dont find it professional and also it is unpleasant to be told that you dont have kids so you can stay longer or you have no right to correct someone.
    You definitely should have stated all of this in the beginning.
  2. by   Kooky Korky
    Quote from pixierose
    As a second career nurse, I can tell you it happens across fields.

    It truly depends on management. We have a woman on my floor who gets out of working most major holidays because she "has a 2 year old and another on the way." I now have to work Thanksgiving Day, Xmas, and NYD because my NM lets her do this (squeaky wheel and all). In total, I've worked 5/6 of the hospital's recognized holidays yet she has only worked 1/6.

    But it has nothing to do with nursing, or parents really. The rest of us who have kids don't do this, just her. It's our NM's weak spot.
    Have you tried being the squeaky wheel? Your boss likely thinks you don't mind working every holiday if you haven't told her.

    Who cares about the 2 kids and another on the way? I certainly don't. That's her choice and she can darned well learn to deal with it in this adult world. Tubal. Hyster. Babysitter. Celebrate holidays another day, as nurses, cops, others who have to work holidays have done from time immemorial. She really sounds like a weasel. If I were her boss, she would not get away with that. And if she called off on her holidays to work, I'd find a reason to fire her or get her to quit. Fair is fair.
  3. by   JKL33
    Quote from Taina33
    I would hate to work in a place where i am resented because i need to leave to care for my sickly child. And then when you dont take care of them, you get accused of niglect. Leave your little one home alone, or sick because of what jealous co-workers say, and see how quickly you get a neglect or child endangerment charge.
    What in the world. No one has said anything about ANY of this.
  4. by   Agatha12
    I do not monitor how many times nurses use phone. I only mentioned that on specific occasion someone used the phone when it was not appropriate and the only explanation was "I don't understand because I don't have kids". The person should have rather apologised for using phone in clinical area. I still believe that if we are at work then patients are priority. This call could have been made 2 min later and also this kind of comment was unprofessional at that point.

    The issues of going late and not being paid adequatly were employer's responsibilility. I was frustrated and changed an employer. I don't blame nurses for it but again nobody has right to use "I have kids" argument and let single colleagues always stay longer. Single people also have responsibilities. Thats what I mean.

    Being parent does not mean that suddenly you can justify everything by "I have kids" argument.
  5. by   saskrn
    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    That is nonsense. Nurses who have children (I among them) have no right to expect other nurses to help bear the burden of raising them. All nurses on a unit should be faced with the same expectations. What if all the nurses had kids? The same goes for picking off-days and holidays. Expectations should be made clear when being hired to a unit. If you are continually getting the short end of the stick talk to your unit manager. If that doesn't work go someplace you will be treated fairly
    Well said!
  6. by   Everline
    I used to work in a job (not nursing) where the people with children always had priority to leave early, arrive late and call off. It was always understandable and excused by my boss who explained it away by saying "well...she has kids". I was single and did not have any children at the time, which meant I got to stay late, come in early and pick up the slack. It made me extremely angry, as I had a life too and many things I needed and wanted to do.

    Fast forward many years, I am married and have a child. My daughter is a teenager now and I did not work until she was in middle school. Being a stay at home mother made me appreciate the amount of work it takes to raise a child and I often imagined what it would be like to work while trying to parent successfully.

    Now that I am working again, I have a different attitude towards my co-workers with young children. Let's just say I am a lot more tolerant and a lot more willing to fill in when needed. That's not to say I think people without children should be expected to always cover for those who have them or that people with children should always be allowed to go home early or leave in the middle of the day. I'm just saying that I understand better what it's all about and I'm willing to be a part of the village and give people with kids some assistance when stuff happens. I happen to believe they would do the same for me if my teenager needed me on any given day. A little give and take on both sides goes a long way. But it has to come from the employees themselves. Management favoring parents or requiring people to cover because they don't have kids usually doesn't go over well at all.
  7. by   pixierose
    Quote from Kooky Korky
    Have you tried being the squeaky wheel? Your boss likely thinks you don't mind working every holiday if you haven't told her.

    Who cares about the 2 kids and another on the way? I certainly don't. That's her choice and she can darned well learn to deal with it in this adult world. Tubal. Hyster. Babysitter. Celebrate holidays another day, as nurses, cops, others who have to work holidays have done from time immemorial. She really sounds like a weasel. If I were her boss, she would not get away with that. And if she called off on her holidays to work, I'd find a reason to fire her or get her to quit. Fair is fair.
    When I first saw the holiday schedule, I did say something to the NM. Expressed more in confusion at first because I WAS confused and thought perhaps it was an error. When it was 'clarified' I did say something. I didn't "whine" but merely stated facts. NM promised it wouldn't happen this way again; I'm not holding my breath.

    I'm not typically a squeaky wheel. I don't have much to complain about. This other coworker complains constantly, frequently calls out the next day if she had a "tough shift" the day before. I think my NMs way of dealing with her is to get her to shut up in the fastest way possible.
  8. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from Everline
    Now that I am working again, I have a different attitude towards my co-workers with young children. Let's just say I am a lot more tolerant and a lot more willing to fill in when needed. That's not to say I think people without children should be expected to always cover for those who have them or that people with children should always be allowed to go home early or leave in the middle of the day.
    I think you have hit upon a key point. Its wonderful to be kind and help your coworkers out. Its another thing for it to simply be expected of you without your agreement.
  9. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from pixierose
    When I first saw the holiday schedule, I did say something to the NM. Expressed more in confusion at first because I WAS confused and thought perhaps it was an error. When it was 'clarified' I did say something. I didn't "whine" but merely stated facts. NM promised it wouldn't happen this way again; I'm not holding my breath.

    I'm not typically a squeaky wheel. I don't have much to complain about. This other coworker complains constantly, frequently calls out the next day if she had a "tough shift" the day before. I think my NMs way of dealing with her is to get her to shut up in the fastest way possible.
    It's easy to say "won't happen again" when the next time is fully a year away. If the manager actually meant that, the manager would fix this years schedule.
  10. by   wondern
    I personally saw plenty of times where the nurses without children went home earlier than the ones with children. One time even when one nurse's middle school age daughter was known to be standing in front of the school waiting to be picked up for almost an hour after school was let out! Really depends so much on who you're working with! Mean people just suck! So do always statements~
  11. by   pixierose
    Quote from Julius Seizure
    It's easy to say "won't happen again" when the next time is fully a year away. If the manager actually meant that, the manager would fix this years schedule.
    I know.

    I'm trying to stay at this job til the 1 year mark. I'll get through this holiday season (don't have a choice), then come spring I'll reevaluate. The job has been good to me in many ways; this was the first big issue for me.

    (And it really IS a big issue as my mom has been fighting a very brave battle with cancer this year ... she's held on for so long ...)
  12. by   hppygr8ful
    Quote from Kooky Korky
    How about the job just realize that they need to be fair to all staff? Why should she have to start over somewhere else if she likes her job?

    You do not have to pay that much for jeans or shoes. Ever hear of Goodwill? Your son does not have to be in BB league. Or maybe he could work a small job and pay some of his own costs? And an apple in his Christmas stocking is enough. No trip to Norway on the Princess line is needed.

    Your need to work is not more important than a single person's. You chose to have kids, I assume.

    If I wanted to buy my kids cloths at Goodwill I wouldn't have become a nurse. We are not extravagant in our home but we (my husband and I) work hard to provide a good life for our son and save enough to retire eventually. My son does his part as well but he is an athlete who may get a college scholarship. Having proper equipment allows him to play at his best. I don't spend huge amounts on cloths shoes etc.....We purchase our share at Walmart but when it comes to him being properly equipped for the sports he participates in I go the extra mile. He's a good kid, gets decent grades and rarely gives me any trouble. He has earned money for things he has wanted that were not in the budget. Like a brand new pair of Air Jordan's he bought last year with money he earned working for my sister.

    And while my need to work may not trump someone who doesn't have kids. My need to get out of work on time to pick up my child who I am legally responsible for certainly trumps someone who wants to go to take a yoga class at the gym.

    As to the point you make about choosing to have kids that's true - but once we do choose to have kids and bring them into this world we can't just abdicate our responsibility to them.

    All nurses should be getting out on time no matter their family situations. If they are not getting out on time it's their fault. Report should never take more than 30 minutes and barring emergencies should start on time. If you are working over you should be paid. End of argument.

    Hppy
  13. by   wondern
    Do whatever it takes to be with your family on what may very well be their last holiday!

    I missed my Dad's last Thanksgiving to be 'on call' for, come to find out years later, a very ungrateful and what I call an abusive system of an employer! I lived and breathed that place and for what? I was so devoted to that big medical center. What a fool I was to miss my Dad's last Thanksgiving!!! He was 8 hours away.

    No to mention the call was for an area I only floated to occasionally, and where some of the regulars acted as if they were so damn superior but yet my work area could qualify to take their call on weekends and holidays! Ha! What a joke! Sorry to sound so bitter.

    As a last resort, you can always call in sick for your holiday like the fairly new bridge msn asst mgr (btw, she had no kids) in training did that Thanksgiving to get me called in!

    I'm just saying that may not be right thing to do but when it comes down to it your terminal family member it is just that. You have to live with yourself and your family and your decisions for a very long time hopefully if you're lucky.

    Of course try to work it out with your very reasonable mgr first! On top of all that it meant my kids missed their Grandpa's last Thanksgiving too. He could've used all our hugs there and then I know!
    Last edit by wondern on Nov 12

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