Nurses with children always go home early?

[Agatha12]

I know it is controversial topic. First I explain myself a bit. I would like to have children at some point but I dont have them at the moment as I deal with some health issues and I havent met right partner to be father.

Now main problem. Why staff with children always think that will have priority to go home on time and will refuse to stay longer if required only because they have kids? Childless staff also have plans, responsibilities or simple would like to have time to cook for a next day.

I believe some fair system should be in place. Once mothers go home early, on other occasion they stay longer and single people enjoy their time. Any thoughts? Am I wrong to think so?

[Julius Seizure]

I agree with hppygr8ful. Family comes first, especially our children. Why have children if you're not gonna be there for them? When you decide to have children, your whole life changes and you have to rearrange your time to make room for them. Thats why wome who are "super" career minded tend to not have children, not want them so they can compete with men on the corporate ladders, or just have them later. And then they have nannies raise their children cuz they always have to work late or travel. I saw myself about to make that mistake and just went a got a job less stressful, no travel, more family friendly. We are women, we have the right to pursue self fulfillment through career accomplishment, and we have the right to fulfil our desire to be mothers. We are valuable assets to any work place. I would hate to work in a place where i am resented because i need to leave to care for my sickly child. And then when you dont take care of them, you get accused of niglect. Leave your little one home alone, or sick because of what jealous co-workers say, and see how quickly you get a neglect or child endangerment charge. If they want women in the workplace, they need to value what we bring to the table, and accommodate everything that comes with being a woman. Even if that's chocolate, PMS and babies. Lol

I'm working if needing to leave early more often than your male coworkers because of PMS is equally valid in your eyes?

[Julius Seizure]

Pretty much everyone has family of some kind, whether it be offspring or otherwise. Obviously if there is an emergency with your children, most people understand that you need to attend to that. But that should be true of all family, including the family of single and childless nurses.

OP is talking about the day-to-day, not the emergencies.

And yes, you definitely should be getting paid if you are still working.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

You know, I've heard this a lot over my lifetime. It gets a little aggravating. I'm so glad I work on a unit where they expect you to put your family over your job. I have never once though asked for special treatment and I don't know of any mom that has.

Yes, my kids come first. That's a given. I've been given the responsibility of raising tiny, human beings into full fledged adults capable of living in society. It's a pretty big responsibility.

What I don't understand about your post is, you say they get to go home first after a shift? How does that work? Don't they have their patients and you have yours? Don't you just stay until your charting is done? How is any other nurse supposed to stay for that? At 1900, I give report on my patients and then any incomplete charting gets finished and I go home. The same with everyone else. Yes, sometimes I get out ahead of the single people.

We take turns on who goes home early if census is low. I don't necessarily like it as it cuts into my precious PTO time I save to spend with my kids. The only time I have ever volunteered is when I don't feel well and I was not picked. I also like my money too much. You see, with kids, I have bills to pay. They are expensive. Clothes, shoes, medical care, food, electricity, water, school supplies, toys. My older son's shoes cost $150 a pair right now. His jeans, $60 a pair. Extracurricular activities cost me about $400 just for basketball leagues this fall. So I kind of need to work. Probably more than the single people.

I think your post is way off base. If you don't like the way your unit treats "single" people, find a new job.

How about the job just realize that they need to be fair to all staff? Why should she have to start over somewhere else if she likes her job?

You do not have to pay that much for jeans or shoes. Ever hear of Goodwill? Your son does not have to be in BB league. Or maybe he could work a small job and pay some of his own costs? And an apple in his Christmas stocking is enough. No trip to Norway on the Princess line is needed.

Your need to work is not more important than a single person's. You chose to have kids, I assume.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Probably, I should have described situation clearer. When I worked on the floor, we had a silly bedside handover, which means the coming staff were going from one room to another to receive the report about all the patients. It means that the last nurse will leave a job even 30min later or more, but the first one might finish couple of minutes earlier. And now who was saying that wants to be the first nurse to give the report? obviously mothers because they will always use the argument " I have kids to collect" that single childless person cannot beat. Important to mention, that people who had to overstay are not paid for this time. I know this is managment problem and I advocated to change it but unfortunately there is no will from managment for a change. I left but it sticks in my mind, why those nurses with kids cannot accept that sometimes they will give priority to single person and sometimes they will go first. Also I witnessed situation when nurses took personal call in the moment when It was important to do something for patient, for example checking narcotics together so pain medication are not delayed.. When I pointed out that it is not the moment for personal call, I was told that I dont understand because I dont have kids.

I really dont find it professional and also it is unpleasant to be told that you dont have kids so you can stay longer or you have no right to correct someone.

You definitely should have stated all of this in the beginning.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

As a second career nurse, I can tell you it happens across fields.

It truly depends on management. We have a woman on my floor who gets out of working most major holidays because she "has a 2 year old and another on the way." I now have to work Thanksgiving Day, Xmas, and NYD because my NM lets her do this (squeaky wheel and all). In total, I've worked 5/6 of the hospital's recognized holidays yet she has only worked 1/6.

But it has nothing to do with nursing, or parents really. The rest of us who have kids don't do this, just her. It's our NM's weak spot.

Have you tried being the squeaky wheel? Your boss likely thinks you don't mind working every holiday if you haven't told her.

Who cares about the 2 kids and another on the way? I certainly don't. That's her choice and she can darned well learn to deal with it in this adult world. Tubal. Hyster. Babysitter. Celebrate holidays another day, as nurses, cops, others who have to work holidays have done from time immemorial. She really sounds like a weasel. If I were her boss, she would not get away with that. And if she called off on her holidays to work, I'd find a reason to fire her or get her to quit. Fair is fair.

[JKL33]

I would hate to work in a place where i am resented because i need to leave to care for my sickly child. And then when you dont take care of them, you get accused of niglect. Leave your little one home alone, or sick because of what jealous co-workers say, and see how quickly you get a neglect or child endangerment charge.

What in the world. No one has said anything about ANY of this.

[Agatha12]

I do not monitor how many times nurses use phone. I only mentioned that on specific occasion someone used the phone when it was not appropriate and the only explanation was "I don't understand because I don't have kids". The person should have rather apologised for using phone in clinical area. I still believe that if we are at work then patients are priority. This call could have been made 2 min later and also this kind of comment was unprofessional at that point.

The issues of going late and not being paid adequatly were employer's responsibilility. I was frustrated and changed an employer. I don't blame nurses for it but again nobody has right to use "I have kids" argument and let single colleagues always stay longer. Single people also have responsibilities. Thats what I mean.

Being parent does not mean that suddenly you can justify everything by "I have kids" argument.

[saskrn]

That is nonsense. Nurses who have children (I among them) have no right to expect other nurses to help bear the burden of raising them. All nurses on a unit should be faced with the same expectations. What if all the nurses had kids? The same goes for picking off-days and holidays. Expectations should be made clear when being hired to a unit. If you are continually getting the short end of the stick talk to your unit manager. If that doesn't work go someplace you will be treated fairly

Well said!

[Everline]

I used to work in a job (not nursing) where the people with children always had priority to leave early, arrive late and call off. It was always understandable and excused by my boss who explained it away by saying "well...she has kids". I was single and did not have any children at the time, which meant I got to stay late, come in early and pick up the slack. It made me extremely angry, as I had a life too and many things I needed and wanted to do.

Fast forward many years, I am married and have a child. My daughter is a teenager now and I did not work until she was in middle school. Being a stay at home mother made me appreciate the amount of work it takes to raise a child and I often imagined what it would be like to work while trying to parent successfully.

Now that I am working again, I have a different attitude towards my co-workers with young children. Let's just say I am a lot more tolerant and a lot more willing to fill in when needed. That's not to say I think people without children should be expected to always cover for those who have them or that people with children should always be allowed to go home early or leave in the middle of the day. I'm just saying that I understand better what it's all about and I'm willing to be a part of the village and give people with kids some assistance when stuff happens. I happen to believe they would do the same for me if my teenager needed me on any given day. A little give and take on both sides goes a long way. But it has to come from the employees themselves. Management favoring parents or requiring people to cover because they don't have kids usually doesn't go over well at all.

[pixierose, BSN, RN]

Have you tried being the squeaky wheel? Your boss likely thinks you don't mind working every holiday if you haven't told her.

Who cares about the 2 kids and another on the way? I certainly don't. That's her choice and she can darned well learn to deal with it in this adult world. Tubal. Hyster. Babysitter. Celebrate holidays another day, as nurses, cops, others who have to work holidays have done from time immemorial. She really sounds like a weasel. If I were her boss, she would not get away with that. And if she called off on her holidays to work, I'd find a reason to fire her or get her to quit. Fair is fair.

When I first saw the holiday schedule, I did say something to the NM. Expressed more in confusion at first because I WAS confused and thought perhaps it was an error. When it was 'clarified' I did say something. I didn't "whine" but merely stated facts. NM promised it wouldn't happen this way again; I'm not holding my breath.

I'm not typically a squeaky wheel. I don't have much to complain about. This other coworker complains constantly, frequently calls out the next day if she had a "tough shift" the day before. I think my NMs way of dealing with her is to get her to shut up in the fastest way possible.

[Julius Seizure]

Now that I am working again, I have a different attitude towards my co-workers with young children. Let's just say I am a lot more tolerant and a lot more willing to fill in when needed. That's not to say I think people without children should be expected to always cover for those who have them or that people with children should always be allowed to go home early or leave in the middle of the day.

I think you have hit upon a key point. Its wonderful to be kind and help your coworkers out. Its another thing for it to simply be expected of you without your agreement.

[Julius Seizure]

When I first saw the holiday schedule, I did say something to the NM. Expressed more in confusion at first because I WAS confused and thought perhaps it was an error. When it was 'clarified' I did say something. I didn't "whine" but merely stated facts. NM promised it wouldn't happen this way again; I'm not holding my breath.

I'm not typically a squeaky wheel. I don't have much to complain about. This other coworker complains constantly, frequently calls out the next day if she had a "tough shift" the day before. I think my NMs way of dealing with her is to get her to shut up in the fastest way possible.

It's easy to say "won't happen again" when the next time is fully a year away. If the manager actually meant that, the manager would fix this years schedule.